Walk on by
by LucretiaDecoy
Summary: A weak demon has snuck into the human world, and when Spirit World fail to track it down, Koenma reunites the gang to find the pest and return it to Demon World. Along the way, Botan realises her feelings for Hiei may go deeper than she ever imagined, and Hiei is forced to confront his own feelings for Botan.
1. Something I Want

**A/N: **Welcome to Anything He Doesn't

* * *

**Chapter 1: Something I Want**

"Okay, I've brought a multi-layered strawberry cream cake, a one-gallon urn of boiled water, a tin of green tea leaves with lemon rind, a full picnic basket with formal bowls, saucers and side plates, silver forks and teaspoons, a sealed bag of freshly sliced lemon – to sweeten the tea or to have with the water – the card we all signed yesterday, sealed in an envelope, and, of course, the presents."

Keiko sat back onto her heels and neatly tucked her hair behind one ear, glancing over her haul at the two faces watching her with what appeared to be a sense of bewilderment.

"Did both of you bring what you were meant to?" she asked.

The two women slowly turned to face each other, one turning slightly pink and the other making a small squeaking sound.

"Botan?" Keiko pressed.

Botan turned to face her again, the same squeaking once more sounding in the back of her throat as their eyes met.

"I brought all the things I was tasked to bring," Keiko said slowly. "Did you bring the one thing I asked you to bring?"

Botan held up a finger and opened her mouth, but said nothing, her mouth soon slowly closing, as her erect finger slowly wilted.

"I brought the flowers, like you asked me to, Keiko," Yukina offered quietly.

Keiko turned her attention to the ice maiden, but her face fell when she saw the bundle of flowering weeds and grass she was clutching in her tiny hands.

"The flowers in your world are so plentiful and pretty," Yukina tried.

"Those are weeds," Keiko flatly replied. "Did you at least bring a vase for them?"

Yukina's face turned slightly pinker and she pursed her lips. Keiko sighed and turned back to Botan, her frustration quickly turning to confusion when she found the ferry girl on her feet, frantically unfastening her obi.

"What are you doing, Botan?" Keiko asked her.

"Wait…" Botan said as she hastily flung aside her obi, which ended up in Yukina's lap. "Wait…"

Keiko's eyes thinned as she waited as patiently as she could to learn the details of Botan's apparent plan. A small part of her was surprised when Botan opened out her pink kimono, but a much larger part of her knew the madness was far from over, and so she waited a little longer. Botan swung her kimono out over their heads and then brought it down to the grass, laying it out flat.

"Ta-da!" she said cheerfully. "The picnic blanket!"

Keiko sighed.

"It was only one thing," she grumbled. "You couldn't even remember one thing…"

Botan knelt in front of her, stripped down to her white yukata, which was clearly lacking attire: it was a surprisingly mild day, but it was still early January, and too cold to be dressed so incompletely. Keiko started to tell Botan to forget about it and put her kimono back on, but her words trailed off as she noticed Yukina holding glowing hands over Botan's obi, which she had bundled up.

"There we are," Yukina concluded after a few seconds.

Keiko craned her neck to peer over at Yukina's handiwork, finding that she had somehow fashioned a rounded vase out of Botan's obi, and filled it with water from the urn, which she had then used her freezing powers to chill appropriately. She added her pile of weeds and grass into the makeshift vase and then lifted large red eyes to Keiko, smiling with the optimism of a young child.

"That's…" Keiko began. "Very clever. Thank you. Both of you."

She stood up and straightened out her skirt, nodding at her friends to follow her. With their little picnic setup, they moved over to the nearby rose bushes, hunching down behind their cover to spy out onto the path that ran through Sariyashiki Park. They did not have to wait there long before a figure came into view, walking towards them at a casual pace. Tall and elegant, a cigarette in one hand and the cool breeze lifting her long treacle-coloured hair off one shoulder, at first, Shizuru looked much the same way she always did. But, as she drew closer, Keiko slowly straightened up, bringing her head up above the bushes, exposing her to view.

"Keiko, what are you doing?" Botan squealed, tugging at her sleeve. "You'll spoil the surprise!"

Keiko ignored her, frowning curiously as she noticed the bulky backpack Shizuru was carrying. It was not the sort of accessory she usually toted, and the size and apparent weight, pulling at her shoulders only made it all the more out of place.

"Keiko!" Botan hissed.

"Relax, Botan, I already know you're hiding back there," Shizuru called over to them.

Botan bolted upright and Yukina straightened up at her side: though she had to stretch onto her toes to lift her head clearly over the top of the rosebushes.

"How did you know we were here?" Keiko asked.

Shizuru stopped on the path before them, dropping her cigarette and grinding her toe against it to extinguish the smoke.

"You told me yesterday," Shizuru flatly replied.

"Told you what?" Keiko asked.

"I never told you this party was a surprise, Shizuru!" Botan retorted indignantly.

Keiko groaned and rolled her eyes.

"It's fine sweetheart, don't worry about it," Shizuru assured her with a wry smile. "I'm actually glad Botan told me you were planning this. It made this a little easier."

Shizuru pointed a thumb over her shoulder at the large backpack she was carrying.

"I did wonder why you were carrying that thing," Keiko replied.

Shizuru moved towards them, walking around the rosebushes and smiling as she noticed the picnic they had laid out for her.

"What's in the bag, Shizuru?" Botan demanded.

"The last thing I expected," Shizuru replied as she slowly slid one strap from her shoulder.

"Oh, can we guess what it is?" Botan asked. "I love a good surprise!"

Keiko gritted her teeth at Botan's ironic remark and moved over to help Yukina, who had already begun arranging the bowls onto Botan's kimono for tea. Shizuru finally freed herself from her backpack and turned to open it, but Botan frantically threw herself over it.

"No, I want to guess, it's more fun!" Botan cried.

Shizuru shrugged and moved over to join the others by the picnic.

"It feels very big, and cold…" Botan mused.

Keiko sighed. Shizuru smiled and winked at her before addressing Botan.

"Feeling it is cheating, Botan. You have to just guess from looking."

Botan gasped and leapt off of the bag. She moved over to join them at the picnic, but sat down with her back to the small party, fixing her eyes onto Shizuru's bag.

"Happy birthday, Shizuru," Yukina said sweetly, handing Shizuru a bowl of tea.

"Yeah, happy birthday," Keiko added.

"Is it a hairdryer?" Botan asked.

"Yeah Botan," Shizuru replied. "It's a ten kilo hairdryer."

Keiko uncovered Shizuru's birthday cake, and the three girls exchanged pleasantries as they cut themselves a slice of the cake: but Botan remained fixated on the bag.

"Is it something mechanical?" Botan asked.

"It might be," Shizuru replied.

"Have you had a nice day so far?" Keiko asked the birthday girl.

"It's been good," she replied. "I got the day off work, my dad made me breakfast and my aunt sent me a gift card with my birthday card."

"That's nice," Keiko said.

"Kazuma was so excited about the special present he got for you," Yukina said.

Shizuru forced a smile.

"He said it was really difficult to get," Yukina continued, obviously. "He saved his money for so long."

"What did he get you?" Keiko asked.

She exchanged amused looks with Shizuru: unlike Yukina, Keiko was well-aware of Kuwabara's terrible habit of buying obscure and inappropriate gifts for his sister.

"It was a joint present," Shizuru said. "From my brother and my dad."

She sipped at her tea, her eyebrows raising as she did so. Keiko nodded her understanding before looking over at the bag Botan was still watching intently. She moved her eyes to Shizuru and nodded at the bag with a questioning frown, which Shizuru answered with a sage nod of her head.

"You have to see it to believe it," Shizuru said quietly.

Keiko quickly hid her smile behind her bowl of tea when she caught Yukina looking at her curiously. She knew poor Yukina would not understand or appreciate how ridiculous the contents of the bag were likely to be.

"It's a telescope!" Botan blurted out, pointing a finger at the bag and looking over her shoulder expectantly at Shizuru.

"No," Shizuru replied. "But you are getting closer."

Botan squeaked with delight and returned her attention to the bag, focusing on it even more intently than before.

"This is nice," Yukina said, smiling warmly.

"Yeah, it is," Keiko agreed.

"It's even better than Botan described it to me," Shizuru said through a lop-sided smirk.

Keiko sighed.

"Thank you," Shizuru assured her. "This is nice."

"A microscope!" Botan tried.

"Microscopes are small!" Keiko pointed out.

"A gyroscope!" Botan returned.

"What is a "gyroscope"?" Yukina asked.

Botan shuffled around on her knees until she was facing the group knelt around her kimono.

"I don't know, Yukina," she said, oblivious to the looks she earned herself from Keiko and Shizuru sitting either side of her. "But if we open the bag, we can find out together!"

"It's not a gyroscope, Botan," Shizuru said.

Botan sighed and slumped her shoulders dejectedly.

"I'll show you later," Shizuru assured her. "Have some cake, have some tea, relax."

Botan reluctantly accepted a bowl of tea from Yukina and let Keiko cut her a slice of cake.

"It's nice to get a break with friends, I feel like all I've been doing is reading lately," Keiko said. "It's nice to get some fresh air and let my mind rest."

"It's nice to be with friends," Yukina added. "It's so calm."

"Compared to being around my baby brother?" Shizuru asked with a smile.

"I enjoy Kazuma's enthusiasm for everything," Yukina replied.

"But sometimes he's a bit much, and it's nice to have some sane company," Shizuru said.

"Yes, absolutely."

Shizuru, Keiko and Botan all turned to Botan, who had spoken through a mouthful of cream cake.

"Lord Koenma is a bit much sometimes, and it is nice to have some sane company," she said unironically.

The others smiled and nodded, but as they all went to take a sip of their tea or bite of their cake, they heard a familiar sound that made them freeze. Botan swallowed hard and pouted before sliding a hand under her kimono and feeling around over the grass before eventually withdrawing her hand, which was clutched around her communication mirror.

"Hello Sir," she said as she flipped it open.

"Botan!" Koenma's voice urgently responded. "Where are you?"

"I was just –"

"Don't you know there's a crisis going on right now?" Koenma interrupted her. "My office, now!"

The communication mirror made a small blipping sound as the connection ended and Botan dejectedly rose to her feet.

"Sorry, Botan," Keiko said as she and Yukina began moving their picnic off of Botan's kimono.

"Is it a stethoscope?" Botan asked Shizuru.

Shizuru smiled and stood up, brushing her hands against her pants before moving over to her bag.

"I think you might be disappointed," she said as she crouched down by the bag.

Botan peered over Shizuru's shoulder as she drew back the zip, revealing a circle of glass that winked up at her in the sunlight.

"Oh wow!" Keiko gasped as she joined them with Botan's kimono. "Your dad and Kuwabara bought you a camcorder?"

Shizuru gave her an odd look.

"Is it a JVC?" Keiko asked. "Hitachi?"

"It's not Japanese," Shizuru flatly replied, opening the bag further, revealing the long side of a bulky, black, metallic camera.

"Chinese?" Keiko asked.

Shizuru shook her head.

"Taiwanese?"

Shizuru shook her head again.

"It's from Russia!" Yukina offered. "Kazuma bought it from a friend from his school!"

"Russia?" Keiko asked. "It's Russian? A Russian camcorder?"

Shizuru nodded, pulling the large camera out of her bag with some effort.

"I don't know what they were thinking," she said forlornly. "It's not something I need. It's not even something I want."

"But you could make movies!" Botan offered.

"What sort of movies can I make with a camcorder that weighs 10 kilos?" Shizuru responded.

"Kazuma worked really hard to get that special present," Yukina said sadly.

"Oh, don't worry, Yukina!" Botan assured her. "I'm sure Shizuru will find a good use for it!"

Keiko crouched down beside Shizuru, placing a hand on the camera and tilting it slightly.

"I've never heard of that brand before," she whispered. "Have you?"

"No," Shizuru whispered back. "And I don't think I'll ever need a Chekhov camcorder, do you?"

* * *

Botan dashed along the final corridor towards Koenma's office, ignoring George's frantic wails, and burst through the double doors, expecting to find her boss atop his desk, surrounded by piles of paper and ogre assistants: but instead she found him sitting neatly in his throne, his chubby little hands clasped on his desk in front of him, and with only four other figures standing before him.

"Ah, Botan!" he welcomed her, sounding drastically calmer than he had when he had called her minutes earlier to summon her back to Spirit World.

"Hey Botan," a familiar voice added. "You've been dragged into this mess too, huh?"

Botan slowed on her approach to Koenma's desk, lifting her chin to look at the person who had addressed her. Her senses befuddled momentarily by the presence of a small tuft of hair held in an elastic band at the back of his neck and a thin covering of facial hair around his chin and lips, she took a moment to realise who she was looking at.

"Did you get taller?" she asked.

He snorted in amusement, and Botan felt a little embarrassed that those had been her first words.

"It's nice to see you too, Botan," he replied.

"I suppose it's been a while," Botan conceded. "Maybe if you visited the human world and Keiko more often, I would recognise you more readily, Yusuke!"

Yusuke smirked at her but said no more. Botan turned her head to see Kuwabara looking at her. She saw him so often during her visits to her friends in the human realm that any changes he had undergone in the 2 years since the Demon World Tournament were negligible. Leaning forwards, she saw Kurama standing on his other side, who smiled and nodded an acknowledgement to her. Likewise, Botan had often seen Kurama in the living world since the end of the Demon World Tournament, and so any changes he had undergone were not surprising: though as she looked at them both, Botan could not help but think that the only changes either had undergone was to grow slightly taller.

Botan then turned back to Yusuke, who did look quite different, before leaning forwards to see who was standing on his other side, finding herself looking at a pair of red eyes that were already staring intently at her.

"Hi Hiei," she said meekly.

He, at least, looked no different than he ever had. He stared at her for a moment longer before turning his head in the direction of Koenma, though his eyes appeared to be looking at something on the wall behind the Prince of Spirit World.

"Now that I have you all together, I have some troubling news," Koenma announced.

"Cut the dramatics, Koenma," Yusuke scoffed. "We already know."

"You do?" Koenma echoed.

"Yes, we are well aware," Hiei replied, in the usual, slightly irritated tone he always seemed to use when addressing Koenma.

"Then why haven't you done something about it before now?" Koenma wailed.

"Because it's not a problem," Yusuke replied.

"What are you guys talking about?" Kuwabara asked.

"I'm surprised you don't already know," Yusuke replied. "I thought you would have sensed it already."

"Hn, unlikely," Hiei grunted.

"Hey, don't start with me, shorty!" Kuwabara warned him.

"He's not insulting you," Yusuke assured him. "The thing is so pathetically weak, you probably wouldn't be able to sense it even if it was in the same room as you."

"That much is true," Koenma conceded.

"What are you guys talking about?" Kuwabara whined.

"Apparently a demon of a low class has found its way into the human realm," Kurama suggested.

"Yeah, but it's nothing to worry about," Yusuke replied.

"Well…" Koenma said slowly.

"What sort of demon is it?" Kurama asked.

"Who cares?" Yusuke answered. "It's weak! It's not even strong enough to hurt an ordinary human!"

"Not physically, anyway."

The room fell silent after Hiei's remark, the moment only ending when Koenma audibly gulped before nodding slowly.

"That much is also true," the prince quietly admitted.

"What sort of demon is it?" Kurama asked again.

"A Lure," Koenma replied, his voice so quiet it was almost a whisper.

"What?" Kurama echoed, his body visibly tensing.

"Allure?" Kuwabara echoed. "Is that like… A lady demon that… Tries to attract men?"

"No, it's something much worse," Kurama darkly replied. "It takes the form of a human child, indistinguishable from the real thing, and preys upon the human condition to care for children, lures in victims by feigning weakness and vulnerability. It is a very physically weak demon and can do very little to most it encounters, but if it can find a weakness in its victims, it will exploit it, and in doing so, it gains power."

"Lures can only attack one victim at a time," Hiei said casually. "And they can happily survive off one victim for as long as the victim lives. At worst it may trap a single human. When it does, it will be easier to find. Then we can slay it."

"If you slay it, you will kill its prey also," Kurama sternly warned him.

"One human," Hiei flatly replied.

"That one human could be anybody!" Kuwabara argued. "And every life is precious, right?"

Hiei did not answer him, and, in fact, did not even appear to have heard him.

"Can I trust the four of you to get it out of the human world before it takes a victim?" Koenma asked.

"It will be easier to find after it does take a victim," Hiei flatly responded.

"You don't understand, Hiei," Kurama said sternly, to the surprise of everyone else in the room. "The Lure's abilities are something humans would covet. It likely already knows this, and may use a catch and release strategy in order to secure its place there."

"Catch and release?" Yusuke asked. "Is that like those guys who go fishing and don't eat the fish?"

"Yes, only worse," Kurama replied. "The abilities of a Lure are…"

"Addictive," Koenma sighed.

"Only to a fool," Hiei spat. "Only to the truly weak."

"Oh, I get it," Yusuke said.

"I don't," Kuwabara said, shaking his head.

"It's like that kid Hiro, remember him?" Yusuke asked Kuwabara.

"Hiro Nakamoto?" Kuwabara echoed. "You mean that guy who used to sell… Well, you know, around the back of the school?"

"Yeah," Yusuke confirmed. "Remember what he used to say?"

"Yeah, he said "the first one is free"."

"Right. Because he knew people would always come back for more."

"Oh…"

Kuwabara's face slowly contorted as realisation of the situation apparently dawned on him, and, watching his turmoil, and considering what she had heard, Botan thought that maybe she understood the issue too: apparently the Lure could give people something they would want to return for more of, and in doing so, it could trap them.

"And this Lure," she asked, taking a step closer to Koenma's desk. "It gives humans something good, something they would want to come back for, something they might tell their friends about, giving the Lure more victims?"

"Exactly, Botan," Koenma replied with a nod of his head. "So I'll ask again: if the two of you knew there was a Lure in the human world, why on earth have you not done something about it already?"

He turned a harsh glower to Yusuke and Hiei. Hiei remained impassive and entirely unaffected, but Yusuke looked a little offended.

"Nobody told me the Lure was basically Demon World Molly!" he said, his voice slightly raised.

"So you understand that it is imperative we act now, before the Lure takes a victim!" Kurama responded.

"Yeah, shit, let's go already!" Yusuke agreed, turning on his heels and waving a hand at his shoulder in a beckoning gesture.

He made his way out of Koenma's office, followed closely by Kurama and then Kuwabara – who, despite still looking confused, at least appeared to understand the urgency of the situation. Once they had disappeared from sight, the double doors swinging shut behind them, Botan turned her attention to Hiei, who was still standing in the same position, still looking at something slightly beyond Koenma with a general sense of disinterest but a vague sense of irritation too.

"Hiei?" Botan said quietly. "Are you going to help track down the Lure too?"

"Human affairs are not my problem," he muttered, before turning and starting for the door.

Botan tried to think desperately of a reason she could give for him to help the others, an incredible idea occurring to her as he neared the doors. She started to voice the fact that he was a guard of the border patrol, and as such, it was his responsibility to deal with humans and demons who crossed over between the two worlds: but her voice died in her throat when something unexpected happened. In her rush to stop him from departing, she had shot out a hand to grab the door-handle, intent on pressing it closed.

But instead of grabbing the door-handle, she had grabbed Hiei's hand, which was already on the door-handle, and he was glaring at her from the corner of his eyes.

"Um…" she began. "I just thought that maybe, since you are a member of the border patrol, that just maybe a demon in the human world might be–"

"Might be what?" he cut her off. "My responsibility? Hn, and I suppose the fact that your kind frequent the skies of the human world constantly it would be ridiculous to assume that any of you might have actually noticed a demon constructing a lair that would be most easily visible and detectable from above?"

Botan slowly retracted her hand.

"I didn't know the Lure would build a lair," she quietly, if a little indignantly, replied.

"Maybe if you actually paid attention to something other than the mindless things you usually concern yourself with, you might actually have noticed it," he spat back.

"Ferrying human souls is not mindless work, Hiei!" Botan argued. "It's not like I just fly around the skies of the human world looking for things to do!"

"Or people to spy on."

Botan shot a glare over her shoulder at Koenma, who instead of acknowledging his last interjection, began shuffling a large pile of papers that effectively obscured her view of him entirely.

"You do spy on others," Hiei pointed out as she met his eyes again.

"I do not!" Botan argued. "I just like to show an active interest in the lives of my friends!"

"Call it what you will, your stellar skills of observation have failed you this time."

Botan stiffened.

"Well then," she said snootily. "Let's just see about that, shall we?"

Hiei opened the door slightly before making a small growling noise and looking up at Botan, this time through slightly narrowed eyes, bearing a clearly agitated glint.

"You intend to interfere?" he asked.

"You said the Lure would be found most easily from the sky," Botan replied. "And since I, unlike you, can fly, I think I will be the first to track it down."

"Hn, ridiculous," Hiei scoffed.

"I bet I can find it before you, Hiei!"

"Bet?"

"Yes! If I find it first, you have to apologise to me for underestimating my usefulness on a mission!"

"And what do you propose to do when I find it first?"

"If you find it first!"

"When I find it first."

"If you find it first, you can have anything you want from me!"

Hiei's eyes wandered towards the opening in the door, and as his jaw visibly tightened, Botan slowly began to realise that her last remark may have set her up for something she may not want to see through.

"Think before you speak," Hiei said in a low voice.

"Well, I didn't exactly mean that I would give you absolutely anything," Botan began awkwardly. "I mean, obviously–"

"Think before you speak," Hiei said again, his tone surer and smoother. "That is what you'll do when I find the Lure before you do."

"Oh, I see!" Botan said under her breath, before quietly letting out a sigh of relief.

Hiei opened the door wider and slipped out. Botan hesitated a moment before following him, finding that he had already disappeared from sight by the time she stepped out into the hallway. As the double doors of Koenma's office softly closed behind her, Botan took a moment to consider exactly what she had expected Hiei to ask of her when she had volunteered her willingness to do anything. She had never really considered it before, but, standing alone in the hallway, she quickly came to the conclusion that Hiei probably never thought about her at all other than when she was in his company, and so he was unlikely to have suggested anything too personal.

She then wondered what she would have said if he had suggested something personal. And exactly what sort of personal thing he might have suggested.

Botan began to walk down the hallway, gradually bringing herself deeper and deeper into chaotic crowds of ogres and ferry girls: but she did not break stride and her mind remained detached from her surroundings. She was not aware of having ever consciously thought about Hiei in any great detail before, and yet, as she thought about him then, she felt as though she was not in unfamiliar territory. Maybe her previous thoughts of Hiei had just been fleeting, or maybe they had occurred to her more on a subconscious level, as she acknowledged that she had never really considered any of the finer details of his affairs, but thoughts of what he did day-to-day and how he might react if someone offered to do literally anything for him seemed like topics she had, however briefly, contemplated before.

Thinking about it harder, to the point that she barely noticed the short orange-haired ogre who bounced into her shoulder and then apologised profusely to her, she recalled discussing Hiei with Shizuru and Keiko. Often when the girls got together, part of their conversation would inevitably be about the four boys: Keiko would complain about Yusuke's absences and lack of maturity; Shizuru would hope that her little brother was behaving himself at university (always said with a repressed affection); Keiko would update them on Kurama, who she had some common classes with at university; and, if Yukina was not with them, Keiko, Shizuru and Botan would all pass comment on Hiei. Keiko usually said the same thing every time ("I don't think he and I have ever even spoken directly to each other"), Shizuru would say something about him being the most detached from the group due to him belonging more firmly in Demon World, and Botan would wonder if he ever thought about any of them.

And, as she exited the temple, squinting slightly against the bright yellow sky of Spirit World, Botan found herself wondering exactly that again: did Hiei ever think of any of his friends when he did not see them for extended periods of time? He undoubtedly thought about Yukina, his little sister he was so protective of. She imagined that he probably did also think about Yusuke, as he saw Yusuke most often, due to Yusuke spending most of his time in Demon World. Hiei probably also thought about Kurama, as they had been friends a long time, and again, Kurama was someone Hiei probably still saw on a semi-regular basis. But Hiei hardly ever had contact with Kuwabara, Keiko, Shizuru or Botan, and she imagined he probably had no real reason to think about any of them. He had no real reason to think about any of them arbitrarily, but what about when he was asked specifically to think about someone? Did he think much at all, or did he just think of nothing more than the acknowledgement that he knew who he was being asked about?

Botan had specific thoughts about everyone she knew. Drifting upwards into the air on her oar, she let her mind consider everyone outside of those she saw regularly, to try to put herself into the same mindset Hiei would start from if asked to think about someone other than Yusuke or Kurama. Most of the time, it seemed as though Hiei was not even aware (consciously or otherwise) of anyone he deemed unimportant, and Botan was reasonably confident that, almost all of the time, Hiei considered her to be unimportant. But what if he was specifically asked to think of her? Would he think anything beyond what he considered her useful for – conveying information from Spirit World or advising on the whereabouts of movements of Yusuke or Kurama – and would he afford her any more than just a brief, passing thought?

Botan wondered if Hiei even liked her. She wondered if he even thought enough of her to specifically like or dislike her, or if she was someone he remembered the name and face of purely for practicality's sake.

She reasoned that it might be only fair if Hiei never thought of her at all, as she had never really thought about him much outside of when they were working together.

Though equally, she had thought about him outside of when they worked together, though that was a fact that only really occurred to her when she really considered it.

She thought again about their interaction back in Koenma's office, and she wondered if he would think about her any more (or any better) if she did manage to find the Lure before he did. And, with that idea providing her a burst of energy and motivation, Botan sped through the portal to the human world and began her search in earnest.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Everyone is searching desperately for the Lure before it takes its first victim, but when Botan reports that she has found it (relatively quickly and easily), nobody believes her. Determined to prove her point, Botan proceeds alone: and the result is a surprise to both Botan and the rest of the group. **Chapter 2: Half a Chance**


	2. Half a Chance

**Last Chapter: **The girls threw a "surprise" birthday party for Shizuru, who showed them the unusual gift/plot device her brother gave her as a birthday present. Botan was called to Spirit World where Koenma announced that a demon was hiding in the living world, and the group set off to find it. Botan had a small interaction with Hiei as they set out that left her thinking about him.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Half a Chance**

"I don't get it."

Kurama pressed a hand to the ground, infusing his energy into the earth around the seed he had just planted.

"Hope," he said again, waiting until he saw a green sprout unfurling from the dirt before looking up over his shoulder at Kuwabara, who was standing behind him with his hands in his pockets.

"What's bad about hope though?" Kuwabara asked.

"Everything when it is abused," Kurama solemnly replied.

"Isn't Demon World all about despair?" Kuwabara asked.

"Largely, yes."

Kurama stood up and wiped his hands together, clearing them of the crumbly earth that had gathered on his palms.

"And hope beats despair, right?" Kuwabara asked.

"Not really, no," Kurama replied. "In some cases, hope causes despair. And despair breeds hope."

"I don't get it," Kuwabara said again.

"Hopefully you won't need to," Kurama assured him.

"But you said the Lure turns despair into hope. I don't get why that's a bad thing."

"It's bad because it's addictive. Something that can turn a person's despair into hope is generally considered dangerous to overdo, and is too often addictive. It's the reason why humans become addicted to narcotics, for example."

"So the Lure is a drug?"

"No."

Kurama hesitated, taking a moment to fully appreciate the lost expression on Kuwabara's face before qualifying his answer.

"Not in the traditional sense. But for the sake of generalisation, yes, the Lure is a drug. In small doses, it may cause euphoria and joy: but it has deadly side effects, and at best can ruin a person's state of mind, at worst, it can be deadly."

"Like a drug."

"Yes, Kuwabara, like a drug."

Kurama reached out to the plant that had grown before him, rubbing one of the large, thick leaves between his thumb and forefinger to check its texture.

"We must guard ourselves," he warned. "Yusuke and Hiei are likely safe: Lures know they lack the physical strength to tackle a demon, and so very rarely attempt to do so. They prefer human victims, physically weaker and more likely to surrender to one of their vices. As we inhabit human bodies, a Lure will likely try to lure us."

"Lure us how?" Kuwabara asked.

"However it has to," Kurama replied, grabbing the stem of the plant in one hand and the base of the large leaf in the other. "And that is why you and I must protect ourselves."

With a degree of effort, Kurama tore the leaf from the body of the plant, and then split it in two, up the length of its stem.

"I apologise in advance, Kuwabara," he said gently. "The leaves of the Deploro Plant are offensive in both flavour and texture."

Kuwabara kept his hands in his pockets as he peered down at the half of the leaf Kurama was offering him.

"You expect me to eat that?" he asked warily. "I wouldn't even eat a lettuce leaf that big."

"Eating this will protect you from the effects of the Lure," Kurama insisted.

"Well okay, I guess…"

Kuwabara accepted Kurama's offer and, after spending a long moment inspecting the leaf, took a bite out of it. Kurama, knowing the situation far better than Kuwabara, quickly ate down the entire leaf. By the time he had swallowed the last bitter mouthful of coarse, straw-like greenery, Kuwabara's face was contorted and he was still trying to consume his first bite.

"You will process it more easily if you finish it quickly," Kurama advised him.

Kuwabara groaned, but sped up chewing and finally swallowed. He then continued eating the leaf – albeit still at a pace Kurama would never recommend – before moving his eyes to Kurama as he chewed his way through his last mouthful.

"How is this gonna protect me, exactly?" he asked sceptically.

"It won't protect you from the Lure," Kurama replied.

Kuwabara paused, his cheeks bulging and his eyes thinned.

"Like, not physically protect me, right?" he asked, before slowly swallowing down the contents of his mouth.

"It won't protect you at all," Kurama answered.

"You said it would!" Kuwabara wailed.

"I said it would protect you from the effects of the Lure," Kurama corrected him. "The Lure will still be perfectly capable of ensnaring you and using its abilities against you to the fullest extent of its power."

"Then what exactly am I protected from? That was the most horrible thing I've ever put in my mouth! Including that time I woke up and Urameshi had put his–"

"The Deploro leaf will protect you from suffering any lasting effects if you are attacked."

"Yukina could have healed any wounds I get, and her healing magic feels nice, eating that leaf was worse than fighting a demon that cheats!"

"Healing magic will be unable to heal the wounds a Lure leaves you with."

"Really?"

"There is precious little in any of the three worlds that could have any chance of healing the type of wound a Lure can give you. In this case, prevention is not only far preferable to cure, it is also, in many cases, the only possibility. As I told you already, a Lure can kill. And not in the conventional sense. Imagine suffering a wound so great that you lose all sense of yourself."

"Right… And it does that by turning despair into hope?"

Kurama sighed softly.

"It is significantly more complex than that, Kuwabara," he said as patiently as he could. "But we do not have the luxury of time to better understand this. We must find the Lure as quickly as we can and dispose of it."

"I thought we were meant to be returning it to Demon World?"

Kurama clenched his jaws and suppressed the concern that had been growing in the back of his mind – that the Lure might have already taken his mother or his step-brother – before looking Kuwabara directly in the eye.

"Spirit World cannot control this," he said sternly. "We must destroy it. For the good of all three worlds."

"O-okay Kurama," Kuwabara muttered nervously. "If you say so, buddy."

Kurama nodded and turned on his heel, feeling a little of the tension easing from his shoulders when Kuwabara immediately followed him in a sprint across open land.

* * *

The word "lair" had conjured up images of dragons living deep inside rocky caves when Hiei had said it to her, but, hovering in the air, Botan found herself looking down at something else that could probably also be defined as a lair: suspended between two trees by the entrance to a small woodland was what appeared to be a spider's web. It was an unnaturally large and dense spider's web, like an extremely oversized cobweb, but it did contain a dark patch in the centre that could easily be some sort of creature, laid in wait deep within its self-made lair. Botan was holding her communication mirror in one hand, but she had not bothered opening it, her eyes locked onto the web below her, a small voice inside her head goading her to not call the others, to go on alone, to capture the Lure and to prove to Hiei that she was not as useless as he had made her feel back in Spirit World.

It was not so much that she especially cared what he thought of her, more just that she wanted to prove that she did actually do more with her time rather than just spy on people, as he had accused her. It was, after all, mere unfortunate coincidence that Hiei had happened upon her when she had just so happened to be watching one of her friends from a concealed location. The fact that he had managed to sneak up on her in that exact position several times said far more about his character that it did about hers, after all: he was the one creeping up and startling a lady.

Before her mind had fully accepted that determination and stubbornness outweighed fear and common sense in her current predicament, Botan found herself pushing down on her oar, lowering herself down towards the apparent lair the gang were all searching for. As she drew closer, she felt the air become slightly colder and slightly damper: which was odd, because usually flying upwards had that effect. She could not sense any demon energy – or any other kind of presence – but the sticky, dewy, webbing stretched between the trees was not anything born of the human realm, and she was positive that she had found the Lure.

At ground level, an odd sense of dread crept over her, and Botan shivered involuntarily. She slid from her oar and banished it, pausing a few feet away from the webbing as she weighed up her options for approaching. Before she could come to any clear conclusion however, the shadow within the depths of the web began to move, stretching out towards a small opening in the ball of webbing. Just as Kurama had said back in Koenma's office, the creature that emerged from the web appeared to be little more than an ordinary human girl, dressed in clothing typical for her size and apparent age, and with unexceptional facial features, eye colour or hair colour: stood in a crowd of human children, it would have been impossible to distinguish her from any other average child. In fact, she appeared so average, it was likely she would be the last child anyone would suspect of being anything other than human.

"I don't suppose there's any point in me trying to pretend that I'm just a human child," she said, in a voice that was as unremarkable as the rest of her was. "After all, you saw me crawl out of my lair and, as you arrived here flying on an oar, you are clearly not human yourself."

Botan straightened her back, stretching to her fullest height to appear defiant: but, with her hand partially up her large sleeve, she flipped open her communication mirror in readiness.

"I never considered ferry girls," the little girl said, looking up at the sky with a wry smile. "I never considered Spirit World at all. I thought all I'd have to contend with here were humans."

"Well, you thought wrong," Botan snootily replied.

"You know, we have no reason to quarrel, you and I," the girl responded, meeting Botan's eyes. "We are both the lowest ranking of our species, mere servants in our own worlds."

"I'm not a servant!" Botan argued.

"Oh no? So you don't spend all your time collecting human souls for the benefit of someone who lives a life in greater luxury than you?"

Botan faltered slightly, but retained her grip on her communicator.

"That's what I thought," the girl said, nodding her head in a slow and controlled way most human children her size would not instinctively do. "And, other than ferrying the souls of the dead, what real impact do you have on the lives of the humans in this world?"

"None," Botan replied.

"Exactly."

"What?"

"Neither of us hold a lofty rank in our own worlds, and neither of us really do anything that impacts any of the humans of this world."

Botan paused, her eyes slowly narrowing as she considered the Lure's last remark.

"You shouldn't be here," she warned it.

"Why?" it asked. "Because Spirit World told you demons shouldn't come to the human world? Because Demon World are under ruling to stop demons from migrating from their world?"

"Yes and yes," Botan replied. "And also you could hurt someone!"

The little girl held out her arms at her sides.

"Do I look like I could hurt someone?" she asked.

"Well, no, but I'm sure that illusion is all a part of your trickery!" Botan defiantly answered.

The little girl shook her head, again in a slow and calculated way no child that age would normally do.

"You could cut me down where I stand right now," she confessed. "And I would be powerless to stop you."

"How do I know you're not hiding something in your disgusting little lair back there?" Botan retaliated.

"You don't. But I promise you, I'm not. I have nothing. I can do nothing. Most humans in this world could cut me down where I stand right now."

"Then why come here and build your lair?"

"Because I have a better chance of survival in a world of humans than I do in a world of demons."

"Well you can't stay here!"

"Well I won't leave."

"Well you'll have to!"

"Well you'll have to make me."

Botan pouted before taking a step forward, only to find herself falling over and landing facedown. As she tried to push herself up, she became aware of something clawing and tight around her feet. Peering back over her shoulder, she saw that the webbing from the Lure's lair had stretched out and wound around her feet without her noticing. She quickly looked down at her hands on the ground, and yelped when she saw the webbing growing over her hands and forearms. With a little effort, she was able to wrestle herself free, barely managing to snatch up her communication mirror before it was swallowed entirely by webbing. She tore the webbing from her feet and stumbled away from the Lure before pressing the call button on her communication mirror, not even noticing who she was attempting to call.

"Botan, what is it?" Koenma's voice answered her.

"Sir, I've found the Lure!" she replied, summoning her oar and rising up off the ground an instant before the webbing reached her again.

"You've what?" Koenma responded.

"I've found the Lure!" Botan replied. "Tell the others to come to my coordinates!"

"Botan, don't be ridiculous."

Botan halted, midair, and, for the first time since recovering her communicator, looked directly at it, finding Koenma's face staring back at her, looking bored and detached.

"What?" she said faintly.

"You can't have found the Lure," Koenma flatly replied. "We are talking about a creature who is a master of disguise, capable of evading Spirit World's finest for the last several days."

"But Sir, it's attacking me right now!" Botan frantically replied.

"Botan, I need to keep this line clear, for real emergencies!"

"This is a real emergency! Look!"

Botan turned her communicator towards the child standing below her.

"Botan, that's just a little girl," Koenma said. "I hope you aren't troubling little children in the human world!"

Botan turned the communicator back towards herself.

"Didn't you see its lair?" she asked.

"Botan, please!" Koenma snapped. "Get off the phone and stop wasting my time!"

Botan gasped when her boss terminated the call, leaving her looking at her own faint reflection in the blackened screen. She only hesitated briefly before pressing a button to call Kuwabara, who was sure to be able to sense something as creepy and sinister as a demon posing as a human child, and so come to assist her.

"Hey Botan," Kuwabara greeted her after a short wait.

"Kuwabara!" Botan yelped. "I've found the Lure!"

"Huh?" he echoed. "You found it?"

"That can't be right," Botan heard Kurama say in the background.

"It is right, Kurama!" Botan yelled.

"Gees, calm down, Botan!" Kuwabara said. "Where are you, we'll come find you."

"We don't have time for that, we have to find the Lure," Kurama's voice replied.

"I have found the Lure!" Botan yelled. "That's what I'm trying to tell you!"

Kuwabara looked at something off camera for what seemed like a long time to Botan before he moved his attention back to her.

"Um, Botan, I know you're probably scared and stuff, but we can't come make you feel better right now," he said. "Maybe you should just go see my sister or Keiko until we catch the Lure and it's safe for you to be out here."

Botan thought she could literally feel her anger expanding and boiling up inside her chest. At a loss for words and out of sheer desperation, she terminated the call without another word, and instead called Yusuke.

"Yo Botan, what's up?" Yusuke answered her.

"I have found the Lure, Yusuke," she sternly replied. "Come and find me, and help me catch it!"

"Pfft, yeah, sure, Botan," Yusuke scoffed. "Me and Hiei know where it is, and we're heading in the opposite direction from where you are right now!"

Botan opened her mouth to argue with him, but found herself as a loss for words. Yusuke and Hiei were likely to be the best suited to finding a rogue demon in hiding in the human world, and yet they were apparently moving away from where she was. And, when she had shown Koenma the Lure, he had dismissed it as nothing more than a regular human child.

Botan slowly closed her communication mirror, ignoring Yusuke's complaint about her hanging up on him, which was cut short regardless as the mirror clicked shut, terminating the call. She then lowered herself to the ground, dismounted her oar and banished it with a wave of her hand.

"Is this part of your ability?" she asked the child ahead of her. "Are you using some sort of power to divert the others?"

"The others pose a real threat to me," the Lure replied.

"And you think I don't?" Botan asked, throwing the creature a warning glare.

"Not especially, no," it replied. "What sort of ability or power does a ferry girl have, anyway? I mean, beyond some very crude, basic healing magic…"

"Crude?" Botan yelped. "Basic?"

"If you were worth my time, I would have taken you into my lair already. But you are not enough of a threat that I need to retreat, nor are you a complex enough soul that it's worth my effort to tackle you."

Botan summoned her trusty metal bat.

"I'll show you a threat, you cheeky little menace!" she cried, before charging towards the little girl.

Botan swung her bat at the girl's head, with the girl barely catching it in both hands before it collided with the side of her face.

"You've got some nerve coming here and speaking to me like that, Missy!" Botan yelled, wrenching her bat from the Lure's hands.

Botan feigned another swing at the other side of the Lure's head, and as the girl put up her hands to defend her head, Botan altered her direction, rammed the end of her bat into the little girl's gut. With an "oof" of pain and surprise, the Lure doubled over and stumbled backwards. Botan quickly continued her assault, managing to strike the Lure three times with her bat before it fell over and scrambled out of her reach. It leapt at the small opening in its lair, but Botan thundered after it, launching herself into the air. She landed on top of the Lure, effectively pinning it down under the weight of her body.

"Let go of that!" she snapped, grabbing the tiny hand clutching onto the webbed lair.

The Lure growled and squawked beneath her, but apparently what Koenma had said about its physical strength was true, as Botan had little difficultly prying open the little girl fingers and pushing the arm down to the ground.

"Not so smart-mouthed now, are you?" Botan scolded as she pushed the Lure's arms under her knees.

The Lure grumbled into the ground but made no effort to fight Botan off: it was not often that Koenma did not underestimate the strength or power of a foe, and so she was pleasantly surprised that she was able to keep her captive in place with just her own body weight.

"You are under arrest, Missy!" Botan announced as she rummaged around in one of her sleeves. "I am taking you to Spirit World, where you will be tried for sneaking into the human world, building a sticky, disgusting web and for trying to trick humans!"

Botan uncovered a set of handcuffs and, again, with little effort, twisted the girl's arms around her back and cuffed her wrists together. She made to move her weight off of the Lure, but hesitated, her eyes resting on the handcuffs she had just applied.

"You might as well show me your true form now," she ordered. "Disguising yourself as a human – a human child no less – is also a crime!"

"This is my true form," the Lure replied, its voice muffled by the ground.

Botan narrowed her eyes sceptically. She could not recall anyone mentioning that the Lure was able to or could take any form other than that of a human child, but she was still wary that it may yet morph into another shape that would allow it to slip out of its restraints.

"Do you have anything to say for youself?" she asked.

"No," it replied, turning its head a little and peering up at her from the corner of one eye. "Except… You're a lot braver than I expected a mere ferry girl to be."

"Well silly you for underestimating what a ferry girl is capable of!" Botan retorted, folding her arms defiantly.

"I'm aware of ferry girls," the Lure continued. "But I've never heard of them fighting back before. Maybe you're a little different from other ferry girls."

The Lure had spoken with no particular tone of implication, and so Botan was unsure if it was trying to flatter her in order to catch her off-guard or if it genuinely was surprised by her bravery in tackling it head-on.

"Maybe I am," Botan replied, her words only really sinking in after she had voiced them.

Maybe she was different. Maybe, after all the time she had spent as assistant to the Spirit Detective, she had picked up a thing or two about battling, and maybe she was just a little more capable and a little braver than her counterparts in Spirit World. Trying not to let that idea build up her confidence too much – lest she make a mistake and get caught out by her captive managing to evade her – she slowly got to her feet, grabbing the Lure's little arms and pulling it up with her. Once she was fully upright, the little girl standing in front of her, Botan steered her captive away from its lair, aiming it towards the open field beyond. The countryside before them was sprawling and flat, and, as it was still a clear day, visibility was good: which made it all the starker for Botan when she found herself facing a lone figure, standing only a few feet away, watching her with slightly widened eyes.

"Hiei," she said through an exhale, as a vocalisation of thought more than an actual greeting.

Blood red eyes remained fixed on her for a moment longer after she had spoken, before lowering to the child she was clutching.

"What have you done?" he asked in a low, husky voice, his eyes lingering on the child a moment longer before meeting hers once more.

"I caught the Lure," Botan replied.

"You shouldn't have touched it," he answered, his voice still soft and low, in a way she had never heard it before.

"Somebody had to catch it," she said with a shrug. "I did call for help–"

"They shouldn't have let you come out here."

Botan frowned.

"But it's fine, I've caught it now and–"

"You didn't understand what it was capable of. Koenma shouldn't have sent you out here like this."

"Koenma didn't specifically ask me to fight the Lure, but I managed to–"

"You're lucky we found you as quickly as we did."

Botan opened her mouth to ask Hiei what he meant, but as soon as the question entered her mind, she noticed Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kurama had gathered around her too.

"Botan, you're a real fighter," Kuwabara commented.

He was breathless and sweating, and it was clear he had hurried to get to her.

"The Lure is undetectable until it starts to attack," Kurama said, as though sensing her confusion. "It then has a spike in energy that is easily detectable."

"Oh, so that's why Hiei said we should let it attack someone before looking for it," Yusuke commented.

"Why did you fight it on your own?" Hiei asked.

Botan frowned. He was staring at her unwaveringly, in a way she never saw him do. It was rare for him to look directly at anyone, and if he did, it was usually only fleetingly, and yet he was looking directly into her eyes, almost unblinkingly.

"None of you answered my call for help!" Botan pointed out.

"It doesn't look like you needed help," Yusuke said with a smirk. "Nice work, Botan."

Botan turned to him with a glare, but quickly relaxed when she saw that he appeared to be genuine with his compliment.

"It was no bother," she said casually. "This Lure really isn't very strong at all."

"You could have been seriously hurt," Hiei said, his voice unchanged from its unusually low tone. "You shouldn't have approached it alone."

"This thing couldn't hurt me!" Botan replied dismissively. "It couldn't hurt a fly!"

"You're bleeding."

Botan paused, caught off-guard by Hiei's response. He started to move towards her, his eyes lifting from hers. On instinct, she moved a hand to where his attention appeared to have shifted to, touching fingers to her left temple, gasping when she felt it sticky to the touch. She withdrew her hand and looked down at the redness on her fingertips, rubbing her thumb over it before moving her eyes back to Hiei, who was standing almost directly in front of her, separated from her only by the body of the little girl she was still holding onto, his eyes again fixed onto hers intently.

"I-I'm fine," she said awkwardly. "It's just a small scratch, I didn't even feel it happen."

"You shouldn't have fought it alone," he insisted, his tone still unchanged.

"Hiei, we should focus on bringing her back," Kurama said, touching a hand to Hiei's shoulder.

Hiei gruffly shrugged off his friend's hand and turned away, his cloak sweeping out at his side. He moved away from the group but Botan did not get the chance to question him further or wonder about his odd manner any longer, as Yusuke took his place before her.

"So this is the little bastard, huh?" he asked.

His hands were in his pockets and he was doubled over to bring himself eye level with the Lure.

"You don't look so tough," he said. "But I guess that's your deal, huh?"

"Don't get too close to it, Urameshi," Kuwabara warned.

"I think we owe you an apology, Botan," Kurama offered.

"That's alright," Botan replied. "It felt quite good to win one on my own for once!"

"So what's your plan for this little bitch?" Yusuke asked, straightening up before her.

"We have to take it in to Spirit World," Botan replied. "It can wait in a holding cell until the SDF can discuss it with the Border Patrol, and decide if it should be returned to Demon World or if it should serve a sentence in Spirit World prison."

"Sounds like you've got this all under control, Botan," Yusuke replied. "Doesn't seem like Koenma needed to bother us with this one…"

He moved away, kicking a stone and looking disinterested.

"I'll help you return it to Spirit World," Kurama offered Botan.

Botan kept her eyes on Yusuke long enough to see him approach Hiei and slap him on the shoulder. Hiei rounded on him with an enraged look that seemed disproportionate to the situation even for Hiei's usually abrupt nature.

"Thanks Kurama," she said, slowly turning her attention back to the fox demon at her side.

"It's the least I can do," he said with a humble nod of his head. "And I apologise for not taking you more seriously when you called us to alert us that you had found the Lure."

"It's alright," Botan replied. "It was no bother."

Botan let Kurama take the Lure from her and she summoned her oar, taking one last look over at Hiei, who was growling something she could not quite make out at Yusuke, who was shrugging and appearing to downplay whatever Hiei was saying. Behind Hiei, Kuwabara was watching on with an amused grin, and Botan found their behaviour far more interesting than anything she had just experienced.

Perhaps Hiei's earlier accusation about her spying on others too much was true after all, she thought to herself.

"Let's go," she said, shaking off the thought and inviting Kurama to join her on her oar.

Kurama threw the Lure over one shoulder and sat down beside her and Botan took off for Spirit World: but she could not help but wonder why Hiei had been behaving so oddly, and why he had spoken in that uncharacteristic tone.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan is delighted with her victory, and whilst most of those around her commend her for her bravery, Hiei can't seem to be happy for her. When she asks Yusuke about Hiei's response, she's surprised by the answer she receives, and finds herself doing something she didn't think she had before: she starts actively thinking about Hiei, and she begins to think she understands why he is reacting so negatively to her recent battle. **Chapter 3: Open Your Heart**


	3. Open Your Heart

**Last Chapter: **Botan couldn't stop thinking about her odd interaction with Hiei, but she did manage to be the first to find the Lure: unfortunately, nobody else believed her, leaving her to tackle it alone. Botan dove in headfirst, and managed to overpower the Lure and restrain it, rising to victory as the others joined her. She thought Hiei was behaving oddly, but had to leave to take the Lure to Spirit World before she could investigate why he was acting the way he was.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Open Your Heart**

"Well Botan, I must say, I'm impressed," Koenma said, rocking on his heels.

Botan smiled to herself as she watched the guards secure the bars over the cell the Lure had been placed in.

"Thank you, Sir," she said, keeping her eyes on the Lure, who looked completely defeated, still handcuffed, and head downturned.

"You've done some excellent work today," Koenma continued at her side.

"Thank you," Botan said, her smile widening.

"Above and beyond the call of duty, for sure."

"That sounds like it deserves some sort of special reward."

"Perhaps it does."

"Like a promotion."

"Perhaps you're right."

Botan's smile turned into a confused pout, her eyebrows twisting over her widened eyes. She turned her head to look down at her boss, blinking owlishly as his words echoed around her mind. Despite her mind repeating the sound over and over, she was still sure that she must have misheard him.

"S-Sir?" she asked cautiously.

"With the Border Patrol in place, I didn't think we had much need for a Spirit Detective any more," he casually replied. "But this Lure has reminded me that there will always be some problem demons that sneak through the net, and today, you've proven that you're more than capable of handling them. How would you like to be the Special Spirit Detective?"

""Special" Spirit Detective?" Botan repeated, still reeling from the fact that she was genuinely being offered a change in role.

"Yes, the role would differ from the role that Yusuke did for us," Koenma replied, still talking far too calmly for Botan. "Obviously. You would effectively be another officer of the Border Patrol, only you would work on the human world side exclusively. You would have to liaise extensively with the existing Border Patrol, but that shouldn't be a problem. After this little mishap, my father wants to meet with Murkuro and her top officers anyway. You can come along to the meeting and we can sort out all the small details then."

"…Are you being serious, Lord Koenma?"

"Absolutely."

Koenma turned fully towards Botan, his hands behind his back, peering up at her with an expression she recognised as the one he wore exclusively when discussing formal matters.

"Until then, maybe you could speak to Hiei, get some idea of what his duties entail as an Officer of the Border Patrol."

Botan felt something twist and tense inside of her.

"I see," she said, nodding her head and trying to hide her apprehension.

"You have a couple of days, that should be enough time for you to talk things out with Hiei," Koenma added.

"Well, that's assuming I can even find Hiei, Sir!" Botan said through a forced laugh. "He doesn't exactly spend a lot of time anywhere other than Demon World these days, and Demon World is such a vast place, I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for him!"

"Don't be silly Botan, you won't have to go looking for Hiei," Koenma casually replied.

"I won't?" she asked.

Botan expected Koenma to tell her that she could ask Yusuke where she could find Hiei, or else just try to talk to him at, or just before, the meeting in Spirit World: but the answer he actually gave her was so unexpected, she failed to answer him, and he lost interest in waiting, and walked off, leaving her standing alone by the entrance to the holding cells.

"No, he's still waiting at the gates for you."

Botan eventually opened her mouth to repeat Koenma's words, if only to assure herself that she had heard him correctly, but she was cut short as a prison guard ushered her out of the area. Caught in a bustle of bodies, Botan soon found herself in the main hallway of the palace, surrounded by the usual chaos there, but feeling strangely alone. Although she was sure that she was not walking, she somehow found herself moving through the crowd, occasionally bumping into someone as she went, until she was making her way out of the temple altogether.

Outside, Spirit World looked exactly as it always did: the sky was a soft shade of magenta, the jagged mountains added depth in the far distance, the long pathway from the temple doors was clean and smooth and the gates at the other end of the path were gleaming and pinned open, a regimental guard standing at each side.

And, hunched over, and starkly black against the pretty pastel shades of the general surroundings, was Hiei.

Botan gulped and started along the path towards the gate. Even though the path was some length, she felt that the first feature of Hiei's that clearly came into focus for her were his eyes, staring directly at her – almost staring into her – in the same, odd, way they had been after her encounter with the Lure. She forced a smile, put her shoulders back and raised her chin, adopting as relaxed an aura as she possibly could as she drew to a halt before him.

"Hello Hiei, what brings you here?" she greeted him.

"You know why I'm here," he replied.

Botan faltered slightly when he once more addressed her in that same tone of voice he had been using earlier. She had never heard him talk that way before, and there was not anything particularly wrong or bad about it, but it was unusual and unexpected, and it did make her feel strangely detached from herself and from the world around her when she heard it.

"Yes," she lied, nodding her head.

"Why did you tackle it alone?" he asked.

"The Lure?" she asked.

"Yes, of course the Lure!" he snapped, sounding a little more like his usual self. "It was a reckless and ridiculous thing to do!"

"Well, that's your opinion, and you are of course entitled to it," Botan snottily replied. "But I think I handled the situation with aplomb: and so does Lord Koenma. In fact, he's offered me a promotion."

"A promotion?" Hiei echoed. "That's what it is?"

"Yes, that's what it is," Botan replied, feeling a little offended then. "I suppose you think working for the Border Patrol is demeaning, somehow, but you do it too!"

Hiei paused to look momentarily confused – but only momentarily – before countering.

"Why did you tackle the Lure alone?" he asked. "Did you think defeating it was a way of proving yourself somehow?"

"No!"

"Good, because that would be ridiculous!"

"Ridiculous why: because you think I can't win a fight or because even winning a fight wouldn't convince you or Yusuke that I am capable of more than you think I am!"

"You shouldn't have done something so reckless! Can't you see that?"

"Everyone else thinks I did a good job – even Lord Koenma – why are you being so mean to me about it?"

"This is beyond ridiculous! Do you have any idea what a Lure can do to you?"

Botan narrowed her eyes and thinned her lips.

"Nothing, apparently," she said smugly. "Because I defeated it."

"What you did was unbelievably stupid," he growled.

"I disagree," Botan retaliated.

"It's not acceptable."

Botan screwed up her face at his response, but Hiei seemed unaffected.

"You are impossible," he said, his voice once more back to that unusual tone from earlier. "I can't reason with you."

Botan's face twisted further, but, with a sweep of his cloak, Hiei turned his back on her and started to walk away. After just a few steps, he broke into a run, vanishing in a blur of darkness. Botan was left not only confused by his words to her, but also why he had even bothered waiting for her. It was not like Hiei to waste words or indulge in pointless exchanges, but it felt as though he had just done exactly that.

Confused and more than a little unnerved, Botan summoned her oar and set out to find someone who she was sure would be able to answer all her questions.

* * *

"Hello."

"Oh, hello, is Ku-I mean Shuichi, is Shuichi home?"

Botan grinned, hoping Shiori had not noticed her mistake. She had made a particular effort to dress in what she felt was an ordinary human outfit: an oversized bright yellow sweater emblazoned with haphazard blue lightning bolts under a set of blue overalls with buttons as yellow as the sweater; and to further her disguise, she had curled her hair into tight curls that made it appear short, holding it back from her face with a chunky yellow headband with a large blue bow decoration. She was not entirely sure the look was still current, but Shiori seemed very pleased to see her, and so Botan deemed her choice of outfit a success.

"Why yes, do come in," Shiori said, stepping back and beckoning Botan to enter the house.

Botan bowed her head in thanks, removing her shoes in the doorway and then following Shiori through the house.

"Shuichi honey, there's a very pretty girl here to see you," Shiori said as she peeked her head into a room off of the hallway.

Botan smiled at the compliment, but covered it casually as she followed Shiori into the room, where she found Kurama and Kuwabara sitting at a small table by a window, which was wide open. Yusuke was sitting in the window, facing outside, smoking a cigarette, but apparently he was still a part of the card game his two friends were playing, as he was loosely holding a fan of playing cards.

"Oh, thank you, mother," Kurama said to Shiori, smiling warmly at her before nodding a greeting to Botan.

"It's so nice that you're visiting today," Shiori said, squeezing Botan's arm in one hand. "My Shuichi only ever seems to have other boys over. I'm so pleased to see a girl visiting him."

Kuwabara and Yusuke snorted and muffled their laughter, but Kurama remained cool, maintaining his smile.

"Thank you, mother," he said again.

Shiori nodded at him and let herself out of the room.

"Close the door, Botan," Kurama whispered.

Botan nodded and closed the door behind Kurama's human mother, before moving over to the table and taking a seat facing the window.

"I came here to ask you a question, Kurama," she began.

"Yes, I imagine you did," Kurama solemnly replied.

"You already know why I'm here?" Botan yelped.

Kurama nodded.

"Koenma told us he was gonna make you the new Spirit Detective," Kuwabara offered.

"Oh… Right… Yes, that," Botan replied slowly.

"We of course will always be available to help or give you any guidance you may need in your new role," Kurama assured her.

"So you took the job, huh Botan?" Yusuke asked over his shoulder. "Even after watching me do it, and seeing what it did to me. And what it did to Sensui…"

"This will be different," Botan replied. "For a start, it's not exactly the same job."

"And you've got us to help you out," Kuwabara pointed out.

"Yes, thank you, Kuwabara," Botan replied. "But honestly, I didn't come here to talk about that."

"Oh?" Yusuke responded, shuffling around slightly to face her more fully, looking suddenly markedly more interested in what she had to say.

"It's about Hiei," she said, deciding just to come to the point. "He was waiting for me in Spirit World. He seems really angry with me. He keeps telling me I was "reckless" and "ridiculous" for fighting the Lure. I know he's not jealous, it's not like I'm any threat to him, but I don't understand why he would be so angry about me winning a fight against a demon."

Kurama looked thoughtful and was nodding his head at Botan's words, but Kuwabara had hidden his face behind his cards and Yusuke was shaking his head and taking a long draw on his cigarette.

"Wh-what is it?" she asked, moving her attention to Kuwabara and Yusuke. "Is there something going on I don't know about?"

"No, Botan," Kurama replied.

"Really, Kurama?" Yusuke asked quietly. "You're just gonna lie to her?"

"I'm not lying, Yusuke," Kurama calmly replied. "I am confident she already knows – just perhaps she is not outwardly aware."

"I need to use the bathroom," Kuwabara said suddenly, rising from the table with a scratching squeak of his chair against the floor.

Botan glared up at him, the redness in his face and the smirk on his face doing little to ease her concerns.

"What's so funny?" she demanded. "Are you mocking me?"

"No," Kuwabara meekly replied, before escaping the room.

Yusuke extinguished his cigarette and swung his legs back into the room, slipping back inside and pushing the window closed.

"Yusuke?" Botan asked him.

"I'm not getting involved in this, Botan," he said, sitting down into the chair Kuwabara had been occupying moments earlier.

"Kurama?" Botan tried, turning to the most sensible of her friends there.

"It's nothing to worry about, Botan," he replied.

"Yusuke?"

Botan turned to Yusuke again and he sighed, casting Kurama a long look before turning his attention fully to Botan.

"Hiei's a pretty basic guy, emotionally," he said. "He basically only has the one emotion: anger."

"Sounds like someone else I know…" she replied, eying him critically.

"And I guess the little guy hasn't ever had a crush on anyone before, right Kurama?"

Botan turned to Kurama, the slightly worried look on his face making her realise exactly what she had just heard Yusuke say.

"Crush?" she echoed, turning back to Yusuke. "What?"

"Most of us get our first awkward crush out of the way when we're like five years old," Yusuke continued. "But I guess Hiei was a little…"

"Stunted," Kuwabara muttered as he slinked back into the room.

Yusuke snorted and nodded.

"Right, the little guy took a little longer to get there than the rest of us."

"Botan, please, Hiei's feelings for you have never interfered with any of the missions we've worked on together in the past," Kurama said, far too smoothly for Botan's liking. "You mustn't needle yourself over this."

"…What?" Botan squeaked.

"So Hiei's got a crush on you, so what?" Yusuke said with a large shrug. "Kuwabara used to have a crush on you, and you kinda just ignored it, same way you've been ignoring Hiei's crush on you."

"I had a crush on Botan for like a week," Kuwabara countered. "Hiei's had a crush on Botan for a long time."

"What?" Botan echoed.

"Yes, well, let's not make light of this," Kurama tried. "You both know how Hiei dislikes it when you tease him about it."

"Wait just a minute here!" Botan cried, thumping the sides of her fists onto the small card table. "Exactly how long has this been going on? And how long have you three known about it? And when was anyone going to tell me about it?"

She sighed.

"And also…" she began. "How is this even possible?"

"Botan, it's really nothing to concern yourself about," Kurama said soothingly.

"It is really funny though," Kuwabara chortled.

"It's been going on since the Dark Tournament, we've known about it since about the time Sensui showed up, and we thought you already knew," Yusuke frankly announced.

Botan's eyes widened and she felt the colour drain from her face.

"Hiei?" she asked.

"Yes," Kurama replied.

"Hiei has feelings for me?" she asked.

"Yes, that's correct."

"Hiei?"

"Yes."

"But…"

"He freaked out when you called me about the Lure."

Botan slowly turned to Yusuke, remembering then that she had hung up on him partway through her call to him when she had first encountered the Lure.

"He was so desperate to get to you, to protect you," Yusuke said with a smirk. "First he was mad at me because he couldn't get back to you instantly like he wanted to, then I guess he was mad at you for nearly getting hurt."

"If you'd really gotten hurt Botan, he might have had to admit that he cared," Kuwabara added.

"It's been this way for so long, we shouldn't let this one particular happenstance change anything," Kurama suggested. "He will sulk for a time, but he will eventually come to his senses, and all will return to normal."

"Normal?" Botan echoed. "I-I don't think it's normal…"

"You don't think it's normal that Hiei has a crush on you?" Yusuke asked.

Kuwabara sniggered behind her and Botan shot him a scolding look.

"No, that's not what I meant!" she snapped, irritably.

"She's right though, it's not normal," Kuwabara muttered.

"What are you insinuating?" Botan snapped at him.

"That it's weird Hiei's got a crush on someone who isn't a super-powered demon," Kuwabara replied.

"And someone who isn't super grumpy and dark," Yusuke added.

"And someone from Spirit World, no less."

Botan shot Kurama a hard glare upon his last remark and he smiled a little awkwardly.

"Yes, well, as I said already, it's best just to let things settle down," he suggested. "Let things return to the status quo."

"I can't even imagine why he would have feelings for me," Botan conceded. "You're all right: I'm from a completely different world, one he hates, we have little in common, and we are polar opposites in personality and life philosophy!"

"I thought he liked you 'cause you were the only girl who ever paid him any attention," Kuwabara suggested.

"I thought he liked your jugs."

Botan scowled at Yusuke, who shrugged.

"What do you want from me?" he asked. "I mean, c'mon. He's on eye level with your jugs, it's not like he can't have noticed them."

Botan growled at him, but he remained unaffected.

"Arguably the two of you are not so different," Kurama commented. "You both approach matters based on your own morals rather than those of the world you come from, you are both strong-willed, both a little vulnerable, emotionally–"

"Kurama, I thought you said you were staying outta this?" Yusuke cut him off.

"Let him speak!" Botan snapped, slapping Yusuke's arm.

"Why do you care?" Yusuke asked her.

"Because…"

Botan's voice trailed off. She was not really sure what the right answer was. Why did she care?

"Aw, ew, Botan!" Kuwabara said, his face contorting. "You don't like Hiei too, do you?"

"I see the guy just about every day in Demon World," Yusuke said. "He never gets any action. Even if you're not that into him Botan, I'm pretty sure he'd appreciate it if you tossed him a mercy f–"

"Alright, I think that's enough," Kurama said, his tone a little firmer than usual. "Botan, there's really nothing to concern yourself with. Hiei has felt this way for some time, and it has never affected his ability to work with you when needed, so please, put it from your mind and rest easy."

"Unless you're into moody boys with mommy issues," Yusuke said with a grin, wiggling his eyebrows at Botan.

"Yusuke, please," Kurama sighed.

"Don't do it, Botan!" Kuwabara wailed.

"I'm not doing anything!" Botan said, rising from her seat.

"Or anyone, apparently…" Yusuke muttered.

Botan punched the side of his head, using more force than she had meant to: but she justified her action by silently reminding herself that he was an S Class demon, and he could easily handle a hard smack to the head.

"Behave yourself, Yusuke!" she scolded him.

She nodded at Kurama, shook her head at Kuwabara, and then took her leave.

"Oh dear, are you leaving so soon?" Shiori called out to her.

"Yes, thank you for your hospitality," Botan vaguely replied, despite knowing her comment was not entirely accurate.

"If you'd like to stay for dinner, I can easily make a space for you?" Shiori offered, meeting Botan by the door.

"No, but thank you for the offer," Botan replied as she slipped back into her shoes.

"Well it was lovely to meet you," Shiori said, opening the front door for her.

Botan was sure she had met Kurama's mother before, but was too distracted to give the matter much more thought, and so instead just nodded in reply.

"Shuichi has always spoken highly of you," Shiori added as Botan stepped outside. "Come back again any time, Keiko."

"Thank you, goodbye."

"Goodbye."

Botan took a step away before spinning around abruptly. Shiori had already closed the door, but Botan could not help but wonder about Shiori thinking she was Keiko. She touched a finger to her chin, wondering exactly what sort of things Kurama had told his mother about Keiko: eventually she decided she could efficiently deal with two issues by just visiting Keiko, and so started in that direction.

* * *

"Botan, hey," Shizuru greeted Botan.

Botan peered over Shizuru's shoulder, into the house beyond.

"I'm alone, yes," Shizuru answered her, as though predicting her next question. "What has my little brother gotten himself into this time?"

"This isn't about Kuwabara," Botan replied.

Shizuru shrugged and stepped back to allow Botan passage. Botan stepped into the house, looking about herself regardless.

"I'm alone, Botan," Shizuru insisted.

"Definitely?" Botan asked.

"Yes."

"No Yukina?"

"No, she went home with Keiko, Keiko's mom is teaching her how to cook."

"Oh yes, I remember that now…"

Botan did vaguely recall that Yukina had been occasionally spending time with Keiko's parents, learning how to cook more complex human dishes in order to prepare them for Kuwabara. Realising that was where the ice maiden was, Botan was doubly glad she had changed her mind about consulting Keiko for advice: the last thing she needed was to discuss what she had just learned about Hiei in front of his own twin sister.

"I need to talk to you," Botan said.

"Everything okay?" Shizuru asked. "You left pretty quickly when Koenma called on you."

Botan paused, looking at Shizuru quizzically.

"We were having a picnic earlier today, and you got called away," Shizuru reminded her.

"Yes!" Botan recovered. "Yes, it all went well. Very well."

"Okay, so what's up?"

Botan sat down in an armchair and Shizuru sat down in a chair that faced her across a small, low table.

"I fought a demon," Botan began. "And I beat it. All on my own."

"You don't sound happy about that," Shizuru replied.

"Well, I was happy, but after I beat the demon, Hiei started acting funny. And then afterwards, I visited the boys, and they told me…"

"What?"

"They told me that Hiei might…"

"Have feelings for you?"

Botan's face dropped.

"You knew too?" she wailed.

"Nobody said anything to me, but I figured he might," Shizuru assured her. "Just in his own, repressed, dark sort of way."

"Does everybody know except me?" Botan cried.

"I've never mentioned it to anyone, Botan. It was just something I suspected. Something I felt from him when he was around."

"And you never said anything?"

"No. It was just a hunch. It's not my place to go spreading rumours about something I don't know is an actual fact."

"Why didn't you at least tell me?"

"It was just a hunch, Botan. I didn't want to talk about something I didn't know was definite."

Botan relaxed a little and nodded.

"Well alright then," she conceded. "But what am I going to do?"

"You're asking me?" Shizuru responded.

"Yes! You're smart! You always know the best and right thing to do. What should I do?"

"You don't have to do anything, Botan. Not unless you have feelings for him."

A short silence passed, during which Shizuru did little more than narrow her eyes, almost imperceptibly, and yet Botan felt herself break out in a cold sweat.

"Do you have feelings for him, Botan?" Shizuru eventually asked.

"I don't think so," Botan replied monotonously. "I mean… I don't think I have romantic feelings for him – oh, not that I'm saying Hiei has romantic feelings for me, of course! Just that… I don't think I have those sorts of feelings for him…?"

"I think, initially at least, it was just a sexual attraction."

"And it's something else now?"

"Well, that's kinda how these things happen. It starts out as just a crush, based on physical–"

"Wait a minute, what are we saying?"

Botan gasped and covered her open mouth with her hands. Shizuru had spoken so casually about Hiei having a "sexual attraction" towards her, she had almost overlooked exactly what that meant. Shizuru waved a hand and shook her head, before offering Botan a lop-sided smile.

"Like I said, unless you feel the same way, you don't have to do, say or even think anything," she said.

Botan nodded, though she was far from sure.

"I have to go," she excused herself.

"Sure," Shizuru replied. "See you around."

Botan nodded again and saw herself out of the house. She took herself back to Spirit World, telling herself that a relaxing walk in the temple gardens would ease her mind: but instead of going directly there, she wandered the endless corridors of the temple, bumping into ogres, ferry girls and guards alike. She muttered apologies here and there, but for the most part, she found herself too distracted to respond quickly enough. She supposed that Shizuru's advice was sound: even if Hiei did have feelings for her, she did not have to do or say anything, or change anything about the way she treated him or worked with him.

And that seemed feasible on the surface, as, since Sensui had been defeated and the kekkai barrier had been destroyed, Botan had hardly seen Hiei.

But Koenma had just promoted her to a position that would mean she would probably have to interact with Hiei on a near daily basis.

Botan sighed and sat down on a bench overlooking a koi pond in the lush temple garden. She watched the fish smoothly glide through the water, the light occasionally catching on their scales, creating silver sparkles. The water was clear, and the aquatic plants growing within were vibrant green, swaying gently as the fish swam by them. The pond was long and oval, stretching out in front of where Botan was sitting, with a bridge crossing over the centre of it. Even from where she was sat, Botan could make out the grain in the wood the bridge was made of, still visible through the sheer coat of red paint that covered it. She lifted her head higher, seeing a trio of blossom trees beyond, burgeoning with flowers that made a pleasant rustling sound whenever the breeze washed over them. Behind and beyond the trees, the remainder of the garden was a patchwork of colours, ranging from bright and bold to pastel and subtle. The blue-green mountain ranges in the middle distance stood out sharply against the glowing pink sky, every ridge and crevice of the mountaintops clearly visible.

Spirit World had never looked so beautiful and bountiful, and it was the first time Botan had realised just what a paradise it truly was. It was a stark contrast to the place that she remembered Demon World to be. The two worlds were both so different, and just as she was a product of her environment, Hiei was a product of his: they were both so different, she wondered if Hiei's alleged feelings for her even held any weight. How could they even have a relationship when they were both so very different?

Botan frowned, memories of Kurama's words to her echoing through her mind. He had started to suggest that she and Hiei actually did have some key things in common. He had spoken about them both approaching matters based on their morals, and that was something she knew was true of herself. Although generally, she would go along with anything Spirit World decreed, Botan would fight against it if it compromised her own set of beliefs. Likewise, Hiei had rebelled against even Demon World to follow his own moral code. Although they were from two separate worlds, they were not strictly bound to by the guidelines of those worlds. Kurama had said they were both strong-willed – which Botan assumed was a polite way of calling them both stubborn – and she could not deny that Hiei was stubborn. She could think of countless examples of Hiei's obstinacy, some of which had almost cost him his life and one of which – speaking the taboo word when in Kaito's territory – had literally cost him his soul. She did not think that she was a stubborn personality herself, more just pleasantly confident and determined to follow through with things. Maybe that was the same thing as stubborn, she thought with a pout.

The last thing Kurama had said, the thing he had not exactly finished saying (thanks to Yusuke interrupting him) had been to describe both Botan and Hiei as "emotionally vulnerable". Botan would not exactly describe herself that way, however she was not so "strong-willed" that she incapable of admitting that she wore her heart on her sleeve, which, she reasoned, could be interpreted as an emotional vulnerability. Hiei, however, she could never imagine being vulnerable in any way, least of all emotionally. As Yusuke had said, the only emotion Hiei ever displayed was anger. Whilst it was entirely possible that he experienced a full spectrum of emotions internally, the only one he ever externalised was anger.

Which, according to the teachings of Spirit World, was a defence mechanism: a defence mechanism employed by someone in emotional turmoil, unwilling or unable to express their true feelings.

Botan looked up at the brilliant sky overhead again. She had been told by other residents of Spirit World that her eyes were the same colour as the sky, and in that moment, it occurred to her that the same was true of Hiei: his eyes were the same colour as the skies of his homeworld. Those same eyes that had looked at her so directly, in way he never had before, when he had approached her following her tussle with the Lure. His eyes had looked so intent and so intense, it was a way nobody had ever looked at her before, it was a way she had never seen him look at anyone before, and yet somehow, it felt familiar. It reminded her of something from her past, something vague, something that had seemed insignificant at the time, she was sure, as she was struggling to puzzle through exactly what memory it was. The only thing she could be sure of was that it was a memory of Hiei.

Botan looked about herself again and sighed. She almost felt guilty to be so forlorn and so distracted from the world around her on such a beautiful day. She had never seen the temple gardens look so lush, the sounds of the breeze in the greenery was almost musical, and the air smelled of light, sweet blossoms and grass.

It truly was paradise.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan decides to confront Hiei directly and question him on his behaviour. His reaction is not entirely what she expected, and, in many ways, leaves her thinking about him even more than ever. Realising that the boys have not really helped, Botan turns to her girlfriends for advice on what she should do. **Chapter 4: Little Sad Boy**


	4. Little Sad Boy

**Last Chapter: **Hiei continued to be angry with Botan for defeating the Lure, which Yusuke, Kuwabara and even Kurama told her was because he has feelings for her. Thrown by this revelation, Botan consulted Shizuru for some advice, which, whilst sound, did not give Botan the peace of mind she had sought.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Little Sad Boy**

Going to Demon World had seemed like a good idea, at some point. After all, Koenma had said that Botan's new role was as a sort of honorary member of the Border Patrol, and so she would need to acquaint himself with their operations at some point. That was why she was in Demon World, Botan told herself. It was logical, it was sensible, and it was all about work. She had travelled there – of her own volition, because she wanted to show initiative in her new role – to find a patrol vehicle and flag it down, to ask if she could join them for a spell, to see what they did on a day-to-day basis. She knew Hiei was not the only member of the guard, and so she had set out telling herself she may not even encounter him on her visit.

But, she reasoned, none of that justified what had happened since her arrival in Demon World. She had arrived, she had flown around until she had found a patrol vehicle, and then instead of approaching it, she had flown around a bit more until she found Hiei.

Botan swallowed and drew in a deep breath – something she thought was probably ill-advised in Demon World, and yet was not as unpleasant an experience as she had expected it to be – and she started towards Hiei. He was alone and he appeared to be doing something that required a lot of effort, but involved very little movement. He was shirtless and on one knee, his head downturned and his body almost curled around on itself. He took longer than Botan thought he would to detect her approach, which he responded to abruptly, breaking his form and standing up.

"Hello Hiei," she greeted him.

"You shouldn't be here," he gruffly replied.

He was sweating and looked irritated and tired.

"I just wanted to meet with the Border Patrol here," she explained. "Since I'll be working closely with them in my new role."

"I didn't think you would accept Koenma's offer," Hiei returned. "Do you have any idea what you have agreed to?"

"I think I understand most of it. And anything that I don't understand, I can just…"

Hiei, who had been moving towards her, stopped a few feet in front of her, his eyes looking off to one side in the way he usually did when talking to her.

"Just what?" he asked, keeping his gaze diverted from her.

"Learn," she replied.

"I hope you don't expect me to teach you," he grumbled.

"Well, I had hoped that, since we are friends, that you would teach me, yes!"

Hiei twitched but otherwise did not respond.

"I can do this, Hiei," Botan insisted.

"I never said you couldn't."

Botan was so taken aback by Hiei's answer, she was stunned into silence. After a long, silent, moment, Hiei moved his eyes to hers – albeit briefly – before finally breaking the silence.

"But you shouldn't," he said.

"But I want to," she replied.

"You are so strong-willed."

Hiei turned away from Botan, who tilted her head upon hearing him call her the same name Kurama had.

"Well," she began, remembering under which context Kurama had called her that name. "So are you."

Hiei turned his head and shot her a harsh glare over his shoulder.

"Maybe that's something we have in common," she added weakly.

"It will take a lot more than strong will to do this job," he growled, turning his head away again. "You have no idea what happens on the patrol – every day there is something."

"Well, I sort of thought that you and I would be working side-by-side–"

"Who told you that?"

Hiei spun around to face Botan so quickly she blinked and missed the movement, her brain taking a moment to register that she was no longer looking at the back of his head.

"Well, Lord Koemna said that I would have to liaise extensively with the Border Patrol," she said. "And he said that King Enma was going to meet with Mukuro, after the Lure managing to get into the human world, and that I should go with them to that meeting, and…"

Botan trailed off, as she remembered exactly what Koenma had said to her.

"And what?" Hiei pressed.

"And…" she began weakly. "And he said he would sort out the details of my new role then."

"So nobody told you you would be working closely with me?"

"No."

"And nobody told you to come here now, to search me out like this?"

"…No."

Hiei nodded, looking down at his feet at a moment before lifting his head again, his eyes off to one side as they so often were, his taut chest rising as he drew in a breath.

"Then why did you?" he asked.

"Wh-why did I what?" Botan asked.

"Why did you come here now?" he replied. "Why did you search me out like this?"

"I… I guess I just forgot what Lord Koenma said to me about that meeting tomorrow."

"You just forgot?"

"Yes."

"Nothing else?"

"No."

"No other reason why you are here?"

"No… Ought there to be?"

Hiei slowly turned away from Botan, and she noticed his shoulders moving as he breathed, as though he was suddenly finding it harder to breathe for some reason.

"No," he said quietly. "There could not be any possible reason."

Fleetingly, a wild idea flashed across Botan's mind. Like a strike of lightning, it stunned her, her mind going blank, her physical being freezing momentarily. After her initial shock had passed, the idea crept back in, in pieces, spreading and growing, until it consumed every part of her mind, her heart and even her soul.

Did Hiei just try to ask her if she had come to see him socially?

Was what the boys had told her true: did Hiei actually have feelings for her?

Botan opened her mouth and reached out a hand towards Hiei, but as though he could see her gesture despite having his back turned to her he shirked away from her outstretched hand, taking a few steps forwards, increasing the distance between them.

"You should-you should go," he grumbled.

"Is that what you want?" Botan asked, surprising herself with her own gall, asking a question she thought really ought to remain unspoken in that moment.

Hiei's head lifted slightly and, for a moment, his shoulders stopped moving, as though he had stopped breathing.

"It's not safe for you to be here," he recovered after a moment, his shoulders starting to move with his breathing again.

"R-right," Botan agreed, nodding her head despite him not being able to see her gesture. "But I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

Hiei's head turned sharply again, and he looked back over his shoulder at her with an expression she almost thought looked hopeful.

"A-at the meeting?" she added. "With Mukuro? And King Enma?"

Hiei sighed, his shoulders sinking and his chin lowering, the uncharacteristic look fading from his face.

"Sure," he grunted, turning his head away.

Again Botan nodded, not even considering that he could not see her reaction. She summoned her oar, held up a hand and muttered out an awkward goodbye before taking herself out of Demon World again as swiftly and smoothly as she possibly could. She quickly made her way out of Demon World, but, rather than returning to her own world, Botan went to the human world, taking herself to the place where she had fought the Lure.

Apparently Spirit World had sent in their clean-up crew, because there was no trace that the Lure had ever been there. Its webbing had all been removed, and the whole area was once more calm and peaceful. Botan sat down on a rock near the edge of the treeline, which afforded her a view down over the field, which gradually sloped away from her. The sky was slightly clouded over, but the rolling cloud cover created giant floating shadows, that swept across the countryside. It was a phenomenon that never occurred in Spirit World, and one that Botan loved to watch. It was rare that she had the time, when in the living world, to just sit and watch the shadows cast by clouds ripple across the undulating landscape, and so she decided to stay where she was and enjoy the ambiance.

Birds sang in the trees and, the longer she sat and the harder she concentrated, Botan could faintly make out the sound of the ocean. She breathed in deeply, inhaling the cool, crisp, human world air, and held it inside of her for as long as she could bear before slowly exhaling it back out. It was so peaceful in the human world, far away from the bustle of Spirit World, away from the demands of her job as a ferry girl.

Botan sobered slightly, wondering then exactly what her responsibilities to Spirit World would be. She supposed that she would no longer be ferrying any souls at all, her time instead fully devoted to her new role, as the Special Spirit Detective. Or Spirit World Officer for the Border Patrol. Or Hiei's counterpart. Or Hiei's colleague. Or Hiei's partner.

Botan stood up abruptly, her oar appearing in her hand. Shizuru had been very wise when she had advised that Botan was not required to do anything if Hiei did have feelings for her, but what if she did have feelings for him? What if their feelings were different: what if one of them had feelings born purely from lust, and the other had actual romantic feelings? Even Shizuru had said that she thought Hiei's attraction to Botan had started out as purely physical: what if all he wanted was sex?

Botan moaned and hopped onto her oar. She needed help. She needed advice, advice from someone who knew exactly what to do when dealing with a man whose primary interest in her was sexual, a woman who wanted something more than that and had to battle to get it, a woman who was accustomed to demon men and their attitudes towards romance.

* * *

Botan knocked again on the door in front of her and stepped back, patiently waiting for an answer. She smoothed a hand over the back of her head and glanced down at herself: in preparation for her visit to a human house, she had once more changed her look in an attempt to appear more "human". She was wearing faded blue jeans and pristine white, lace-up sneakers, an equally white sweater with a black collar and sleeves, covered with an open cornflower blue padded coat. She had straightened her hair and was wearing it long and loose, arranging it to look much like the way Shizuru wore her hair. When the door ahead of her finally opened, she took another step back out of caution, the wall of steam that greeted her making her worry it might make her hair curl again.

"Botan," Keiko's voice spoke from the cloud of steam. "Hi."

An oven mitt wafted at the steam and it gradually dissipated, revealing Keiko, standing in an apron, her face red, her hair gathered up in a clumsy bun, stray strands of hair slick and plastered to the sides of her sweating face and neck.

"How are the cooking lessons going?" Botan asked, remembering then that Keiko was teaching Yukina that day.

"How does it look like they're going?" Keiko asked flatly.

"Maybe I can help?" Botan offered cheerfully.

"You can run me a cold bath and light some lavender candles," Keiko suggested, grabbing one of Botan's wrists and pulling her over the threshold.

"Oh my goodness, it's so hot in here!" Botan gasped as she stumbled into the hallway.

Keiko closed the door behind her and led Botan through to the kitchen, where the air was so hot, the view outside the window looked watery and wavy. Yukina turned around to face them, smiling sweetly and looking entirely unaffected by the stifling heat and steam around them.

"Hello Botan!" she said. "We're making steamed dumplings!"

"Yes, we are," Keiko said in a low voice.

Keiko released Botan, who approached Yukina.

"You seem to be keeping your cool splendidly, Yukina," she commented, putting a hand on the ice maiden's shoulder. "Really, really splendidly!" she added, when she felt the coldness of Yukina's skin, obvious even through her clothing.

"I made a rich gravy, would you like to try some?" Yukina offered.

"Of course!" Botan agreed.

Yukina smiled and turned to the stove, donning two pairs of oven gloves before lifting up a pan that she probably had not need to wear gloves to handle. She turned back to Botan and dunked a ladle into the gravy, stirring it a little, Botan's face falling as she did so: the mixture was lumpy and discoloured, and had bubbles of grease along the surface of it. Yukina happily filled the ladle and moved it towards Botan, who leaned back before noticing that Yukina was starting to look worried.

"I worked really hard on this gravy," the ice maiden said in a small, sad voice. "I followed the recipe precisely. Don't you like gravy, Botan?"

Botan laughed nervously and glanced over at Keiko, who gave a small warning shake of her head. She turned back to Yukina, her large, worried red eyes, peering up beneath her soft, feathery sea-foam green hair proving too much to bear. Botan leaned forwards and allowed Yukina to tip the contents of her ladle into her mouth.

"Mmmmm!" Botan said, giving a thumbs-up as she forced herself to swallow.

It took everything in her being to stop herself from shuddering with disgust as a lump of soggy flour burst open in a dry, powdery explosion at the back of her throat, and another swallow removed it, only to make her painfully aware of the coating of grease left on the roof of her mouth.

"We've been practising making a roux," Keiko explained.

Botan nodded, not entirely sure what that meant, but already aware that Yukina had clearly not understood the process.

"Yukina, keep going, you're doing fine," Keiko said to Yukina. "I just have to use the little girls' room, I'll be back in a moment."

"Alright, Keiko," Yukina said, nodding and turning back to the stove.

Keiko glared at Botan, who frowned in confusion. Keiko gave a sharp jerk of her head in the direction of the door and Botan mouthed out a silent "oh" and quietly followed her out of the kitchen. Keiko led Botan through to the dining room, where she grabbed Botan's arms and looked her straight in the eye.

"Is everything alright, Botan?" she asked. "I've been worried ever since you got that call from Koenma and you left in a hurry!"

"Oh!" Botan said, only then realising that she had not seen or spoken to Keiko since being called away by Koenma to deal with the Lure. "Oh, yes, don't worry Keiko, it was just a sneaky little demon that had found its way into the human world. I took care of it."

"You did?" Keiko asked.

"Yes," Botan replied. "All by myself, in fact!"

"Okay," Keiko said with a sigh, finally releasing her too-firm grip of Botan's arms.

"And after I took care of it, something stranger happened…" Botan began, touching the tips of her index fingers together.

"Like what?" Keiko asked. "Tell me, Botan! If you don't tell me, Kurama will!"

Botan froze for a moment and Keiko flinched.

"What I mean is, if you don't tell me what Koenma asked you to do, Kurama will tell me," she qualified. "Because I see him every day, and he tells me when Spirit World ask him to do stuff."

Botan nodded slowly.

"There's not… Something going on between you and Kurama, is there Keiko?" she asked.

"N-no!" Keiko replied.

Botan was almost certain she was lying – she had long suspected that there might be something going on between Keiko and Kurama, she had found the two of them together far too often when she visited the human world – but she knew they could not stay away from Yukina long, and so chose to stay focused on her original reason for visiting Keiko.

"Keiko, if you suspected that someone had a crush on you, what would you do?" she asked.

"Kurama does not have a crush on me, Botan!" Keiko shouted, fists clenched at her sides and her eyes flashing.

"I wasn't talking about that!" Botan quickly assured her. "I was talking about me! I just found out someone has a crush on me, and I wanted to know what you thought I should do!"

Keiko slowly relaxed back and began to look thoughtful.

"Do you like him?" she asked.

"Yes," Botan replied. "I mean… I like him as a friend. And I think maybe… I don't know, Keiko. I'm not sure if I like him… You know, that way. We're from two different worlds, you see."

"You're talking about a human?" Keiko asked.

"Um…" Botan began, her eyes rolling towards the ceiling. "Not exactly a human, no…"

"A demon?" Keiko pressed.

"Well…"

"Is it Yusuke?"

Botan met Keiko's eyes abruptly.

"I sort of thought there might be something going on between you two, is all," Keiko said with a shrug. "It makes sense. I wouldn't be mad if there was."

"You wouldn't be mad if I had come here to ask you if you minded me dating Yusuke?" Botan asked.

"No, there would be no point," Keiko replied in a strange voice, avoiding eye contact with Botan as she spoke. "I think Yusuke and I have both sort of moved on with our lives, moved in different directions. I hardly see him any more. I know more about Kuwabara and Kurama these days!"

Keiko gave a small laugh, but Botan narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Keiko," she said slowly. "Are you trying to match me up with Yusuke so that you can justify dating Kurama?"

"What?" Keiko yelped.

"I knew it!" Botan declared, pointing a finger at Keiko. "You want to date Kurama!"

"Botan!" Keiko hissed, grabbed a hand around Botan's pointed finger and pushing her hand down. "Keep your voice down!"

"Why?" Botan asked. "In case Yukina hears?"

"Yes!" Keiko replied.

"Because you don't want her to know the truth!"

"Because I don't want her to tell Kuwabara that I want to date Kurama!"

"So you admit it!"

"No, you're just accusing me of it, and if Yukina overhears, she won't understand that it's not true!"

Botan gave Keiko one last, suspicious look before conceding.

"Okay," she said. "But what would you do if did have a crush on Kurama?"

"I'd spend some more time with him to be sure," Keiko replied.

"You've been doing that!" Botan gasped. "You do have a crush on Kurama!"

"Botan!"

Botan sobered.

"Spend more time with him to be sure?" she asked.

"Yes," Keiko replied. "Sometimes… Sometimes you can just think you have feelings for someone. Sometimes, when you find out someone has feelings for you, it's so flattering, you can get confused into thinking you like them back, when actually you don't. Spend more time with him, do more things with him, and see how you feel then."

Botan nodded slowly, deciding that Keiko had given her good advice about her own situation with Hiei, but also feeling acutely aware that Keiko was describing her own situation with Kurama. It was not that, as Hiei had accused her, she had been spying on Keiko and Kurama as such, it was more just that she had happened to notice, on her visits to the living world, that Keiko and Kurama went to a lot of classes together, and had lunch together sometimes, and went to the library together.

"Good luck with your endeavours," Botan said, nodding towards the door, meaning to wish Keiko luck with teaching Yukina.

"I'm not trying to seduce Kurama, Botan!" Keiko cried.

"I didn't say that you were!" Botan responded, holding up her hands defensively. "I didn't even think that you were trying to seduce Kurama! Not until you just said it just now, now I sort of think that maybe you are…"

"Botan!" Keiko wailed.

"Okay, thanks, bye!"

Botan quickly took her leave, deciding she could worry about what was going on between Keiko and Kurama some other time. She first, and foremost, needed to act on the advice Keiko had given her, and spend more time with Hiei. And whilst she was sure that she would be able to do exactly that in her new role as the Special Spirit Detective, she felt that she needed to spend time with him outside of work. She was certain that was what Keiko had meant, that was the advice Keiko had given her, that she should attempt to socialise with Hiei, to get to know him better, and to better sort out how she felt about him.

As she walked down the street, Botan felt a strange feeling, one she could not quite understand. It felt familiar, but the feeling she related it to made no sense. The feeling she had, as she walked away from Keiko's house, as she embarked on a quest to find Hiei and get to know him better, was the same feeling she had prior to a major event. It was the feeling she had felt arriving at the island the Dark Tournament was held at: an ironic thought as she reminded herself that Yusuke had told her Hiei's feelings for her had started during the Dark Tournament.

Botan wondered exactly when he had started to have feelings for her. Was it because of something specific that she had done, or said? Something she had worn? Had she looked at him in a certain way? She wished she knew if it was one particular thing, as then she might at least have a better understanding of the nature of his feelings towards her, as she was still unsure whether his attraction to her was purely physical, or if he actually sought to make a deeper connection with her. The Dark Tournament had passed by several years ago, and that was a long time to have a sustained crush on someone that was based purely on physical attraction, she thought, and so either he did have deeper feelings for her or his physical attraction to her was extreme, to the point that he literally found her irresistible.

Was that why he had been so tetchy with her when she had accidentally touched his hand upon leaving Koenma's office at the start of the mission to find the Lure? Was his reaction a reflection of his struggling restraint against an overwhelming physical attraction?

Botan sighed: that was a lot of pressure. If Hiei really was extremely physically infatuated with her, she was sure he would only be disappointed if she did pursue that with him. Botan's own crushes involved her thinking a lot about the person, imagining various scenarios with that person, and Hiei had had a long time to think about scenarios with her. A long time to imagine her naked, to imagine having a carnal, physical, animal relationship with her. Botan had neither the experience, confidence nor the desire to pursue such a relationship with anyone, least of all someone she would have to work alongside from now on, regardless of whether the relationship panned out or not. As she summoned her oar, Botan realised that was something else she would have to consider: she was going to have to deal with Hiei, potentially daily, for an undefined amount of time going forward, and so if she did pursue a personal relationship with him, she would have to be mindful that it did not conflict with the work they may be expected to carry out together. It would be extremely difficult if she had a brief, passionate affair with Hiei to then carry on working alongside him. Could she look him in the eye after something like that? Would it feel awkward standing next to his fellow guards, discussing issues with Koenma, all the while knowing, in the back of her mind, that she had seen Hiei naked?

Botan swallowed hard, the realisation occurring that she had never actually imagined what Hiei might look like naked. She had seen the top half of his body naked, but nothing below the waist – not even his ankles – as he always wore such well-covering, loose-fitting pants. Well-covering, loose-fitting pants that made it impossible to make out any detail of what lay beneath them. The lower half of Hiei's body could fall under any extreme, Botan had no way of knowing. Not unless she got into a physical relationship with him. Then she would know. Then she would know everything. She would see everything. Every minute detail.

And he would see her.

Botan wriggled a little on her oar as she passed through a portal and began moving through the skies of Demon World. It was growing late in the day – although day was a difficult concept to truly define in Demon World – and usually she would feel tired and ready for her bed. But the thought of Hiei seeing her naked suddenly had her wide awake. The thought of Hiei seeing her naked had a more profound effect on her than the thought of seeing him naked had. Botan felt her mind stray down a path she could not stop it from falling down, momentarily at the mercy of her own psyche, shivering all over as her mind conjured a painfully clear image of her standing naked before Hiei and him smiling up at her.

She wondered how their physical relationship might develop. How long would it take for him to kiss her? Who would make the first move? How quickly would it progress to a more serious level, physically? How would it feel?

Botan wondered what sort of sexual positions Hiei favoured.

Botan wondered what sort of sexual positions she favoured.

Botan had no experience of having a physical relationship with anyone. The prospect did not frighten her, but she was a little apprehensive that Hiei might expect her to know more than she did about the physical side of love. She was aware that, in many respects, she would probably have to take guidance from him, regardless of whether their relationship ended up being purely physical or something deeper, he was likely to be more experienced than she was.

She wondered why then her mind kept straying back to the idea of her being naked in front of a fully-clothed Hiei.

She really liked that idea.

Botan flew for a long time, covering vast plains of Demon World, but still found no trace of Hiei. She passed over a Border Patrol unit, which was stopped by a human who had apparently crossed over into Demon World, but Hiei was not amongst the party, that was obvious from far off, and so Botan was forced to press on. The more time passed, the more she started to worry that she might have missed Hiei, she might have already passed him by, her mind failing to detect him because it was instead choosing to drift back to that image of her standing naked in front of Hiei: and thinking about that, she felt a strange rush in her chest.

Maybe she was attracted to Hiei, she admitted to herself. Maybe she had been for some time. Maybe she always had been. But thinking about that brought her onto something else she had not considered before: any time she had wondered anything about Hiei, the overwhelming thought that had pervaded her mind was simply that she was a ferry girl, with duties in Spirit World, and Hiei was a demon, a guard of the Border Patrol, with duties in Demon World, and it would neither be practical nor acceptable for them to be anything other than acquaintances. She had never really considered it a possibility that she could have any sort of relationship with anyone outside of her own world, and so she had shut down the idea any time it so much as attempted to surface in her mind.

And so maybe she had always been attracted to Hiei. Maybe, on some subconscious level, she had a bit of a crush on him too, but she had always suppressed it due to the belief that it could never materialise into anything real. Maybe that idea about standing naked in front of him was a secret fantasy she had always coveted, but always denied herself. And maybe now that there was a sliver of a chance that it could become a reality she had effectively opened up a floodgate in her mind, unleashed years of suppressed emotional and hormonal fantasies about Hiei.

As though on cue, as that idea occurred to her, Botan sensed Hiei's familiar energy signal, and aimed herself towards it, flying swiftly and silently through what was probably as close to a night sky as Demon World ever experienced. As she flew that last stretch to reach him, she indulged the darker depths of her imagination again, scouring them for any ideas about encountering Hiei at night in Demon World. But, search as she might, the only idea her mind kept presenting her with was the one where she was standing naked and he was smiling up at her. Maybe smiling in an admiring sort of way. Maybe in a sly sort of way. Maybe in the sort of way that betrayed thoughts he was having about her, thoughts about what he was going to do to her now that she was exposed and naked before him.

Botan descended towards the point she reasoned Hiei to be, trying to sort her thoughts back into order, trying to regain her composure, trying to ready herself to face him with some sort of sense of decorum.

All ideas of appearing with her dignity left her however when Hiei finally came into her line of sight. The situation she had found him in was like something fresh out of a hormonally-charged female fantasy: but Botan was sure even her own mind could not have dreamt up something so cliché and so incredibly awkward. She almost wanted to back away, to escape, to go back to Spirit World and try to sleep. However, Hiei had clearly already spotted her, as he was looking directly up at her, unmoving from his position, and so she was forced to continue, to lower herself down and disembark her oar.

Botan stood at the edge of the river, still dressed in the outfit she had worn to visit Keiko, looking down at the water, and at Hiei, who was standing in the depths of the water, his hair wet and plastered around his head in a way that almost made him unrecognisable. The waterline was just below his naval, and the water was dark, making it impossible to tell if he was naked below that level or not.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her.

"I came to see you," she answered honestly.

He frowned, before wiping a hand down over his face.

"You shouldn't be here, you're a target for every demon here," he said sternly. "Especially at this time of night. And you're a long way from the nearest portal back to your own world."

Botan nodded.

"I couldn't sleep," she said. "I need to talk to you. And I think I'm safe here, with you, because you're very strong."

Hiei eyed her curiously.

"Please Hiei," she insisted. "I just need… I just need to know."

He softened slightly, blinking at her a couple of times before grunting and nodding. He looked a little reluctant in his acquiescence, but Botan did not dare question it, instead preparing herself to join him for a talk.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan joins Hiei for a swim/dunk in the river and they talk. By the time they are done, Botan thinks she understands the exact extent of Hiei's feelings for her, and in turn, she is starting to understand exactly how she feels about him. **Chapter 5: Not That Hard**


	5. Not That Hard

**Last Chapter: **Botan went to Demon World to find Hiei, whose reaction to her left her thinking about him all the more. She went to Keiko for advice, and decided that the advice Keiko gave her was sound, and so she set out to follow it – which meant returning to Demon World to spend more time with Hiei.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Not That Hard**

"Please Hiei. I just need… I just need to know."

When Hiei grunted and nodded to her request, Botan wasted no time in removing her coat and throwing it down. She kicked off her sneakers and started to remove her sweater, only stopping when Hiei held up both hands, his eyes almost doubling in size.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"I was going to join you in the water," Botan replied, slowly lowering her sweater down again.

"You can't do that!" he sharply replied.

"Yes I can, it'll be fine Hiei, I promise!"

Botan swiftly whipped off her sweater and lowered her jeans, stepping out of them and finding Hiei giving her an odd look.

"See, I came prepared!" she said to him, pointing at the swimsuit she was wearing.

"…Why were you wearing that underneath your clothes?" he asked, his voice so quiet, it was almost as though he was talking to himself more than her.

"I always dress in layers," Botan casually replied as she edged up to the water. "I never know where I'm going to end up, so I like to be prepared."

She poked her toe into the water, realising then that there was a drop away from the bank of the river, and so sat down on the ground and slid herself in slowly. The drop off, it turned out, was not as extreme as she had expected it to be, and moving into the middle of the river, the deepest part of the water still only came to the tops of her thighs. She turned to Hiei, and realised then that he was not as tall as he ought to be.

"Are you crouching down under there?" she asked him.

"Yes," he flatly replied.

"Oh, okay."

Botan bent her legs, immersing more of herself into the water until she was eye level with him.

"This water feels nice," she commented.

Hiei grunted non-committedly, avoiding looking directly at her.

"You know Hiei, you and I don't often get the chance to just talk," she began.

"Is that why you came here?" he asked her. "Just to make idle conversation with me?"

"I just thought that we should get to know each other better."

"We know each other well enough."

Botan pouted at Hiei in frustration, but he continued to avoid looking directly at her.

"I know almost nothing about you, Hiei," she corrected him.

"You know enough," he replied.

"Okay, well, what do you know about me?"

Hiei's eyes momentarily widened, but he quickly covered the slight betrayal of his own true feelings upon hearing Botan's question.

"I know enough," he responded.

"Well alright, smarty-pants, tell me what you like about me."

Hiei finally met Botan's eyes, giving her an incredulous look.

"As a friend," she quickly qualified. "What do you like about me as a friend I mean?"

His eyebrows lowered and his eyes thinned slightly, and Botan suddenly wished he would go back to looking away from her.

"For example," she tried. "I like that you are clever, and you never give up, and you are reliable."

"You think I'm reliable?" he responded.

"Yes, I do," Botan confirmed with a nod of her head.

"You think I'm loyal?"

"Yes."

"To Spirit World?"

"Well, maybe not to Spirit World, but you are loyal to your friends."

"As are you."

"Oh, well, there you go! That's something we have in common."

"I'm not loyal to Spirit World."

"No, but that's okay."

"I'm not loyal to Demon World either."

"Well, that's okay too."

"Are you trying to find out if I'll be loyal to you?"

Botan and Hiei looked at each other in silence for a long moment. Botan could not even begin to guess what Hiei was thinking or what he had meant with his last question, but she was unsure how to answer him, and so she let the moment drag on. Eventually, deciding to be diplomatic, to avoid committing herself to something she might not wish to address so directly just yet, she chose her most neutral answer.

"I hope that you will be loyal to helping me and working with me in my new role," she said carefully.

"Is that really why you came here?"

Botan could not tell if Hiei had seen through her ruse – either due to his intuitiveness or the fact that he could just go ahead and read her real intentions with his Jagan Eye – but she was starting to suspect she would not get away with lying to him for much longer.

"I just wanted to get to know you better," she meekly admitted, being mindful not to specify why.

"There's nothing to know," Hiei dismissively answered.

"That's not true, Hiei!" Botan argued. "I don't know anything about you!"

"You know more than most."

"Like what?"

"You know that Yukina is my sister. You know I am an emiko. You know I was cast out of the ice village at birth. You know I was a criminal who stole artefacts from the human and spirit worlds. You know that during that time, I met Kurama, and we worked together. You know I have a falsely implanted Jagan Eye. What else do you need to know?"

"Those are all facts about things that have happened to you, or things you've done. Those aren't facts about you."

"I don't understand the difference."

Botan's face fell. That was probably the most Hiei thing she had ever heard Hiei say in all the time she had known him: and perhaps that was all she knew, or ever would know, about him as a person.

"I suppose it doesn't matter," she sighed. "Or – how about this instead – is there anything about me you'd like to know more about or know better?"

Hiei's eyes moved downwards so briefly, Botan wondered if it was just a subconscious twitch rather than what it had appeared to be: he appeared to have looked at her chest towards the end of her question. Yusuke's comment about Hiei being on eye-level with her chest played out in her mind against her will, and she was forced to literally shake her head to shake her thoughts back to some sort of sense.

"Why did you take the job?" Hiei asked.

"Oh, that's a good question!" Botan replied, pleased that he appeared to be cooperating with her at last. "Well, even though I did like being a ferry girl, I always wanted to be something more. Especially after being Yusuke's assistant. When Yusuke left the role and I had to return to being a ferry girl again, it felt boring. I felt empty. I wanted adventure and excitement again."

"Being a ferry girl was a safer job for you," Hiei pointed out.

"Yes, well, that may be, but sometimes a little bit of danger is necessary!"

"You could get hurt. Or worse."

"Well, excuse me, but I see to remember a certain someone nearly dying several times, and sometimes not even for any good reason!"

"Every action I take has a purpose."

"Sacrificing your soul in Kaito's territory had a purpose?"

Hiei twitched.

"I proved my point," he said.

"What point?" Botan asked.

"That I wasn't going to let something as insignificant as a word control me," Hiei replied.

"But it did control you," Botan pointed out. "You lost your soul!"

"And you held me after my body had been turned to stone."

Botan swallowed hard.

"H-how do you know about that?" she asked.

Hiei paused before answering.

"Kuwabara told me."

"Kuwabara? He hates you, why would he tell you something like that!"

"He thought it was funny."

Botan remembered that Kuwabara had been laughing, more so than Yusuke, when Kurama had first told her that Hiei had feelings for her, so it probably made sense that Kuwabara would have teased him about it. Kurama had also said that Yusuke and Kuwabara had been teasing Hiei about his feelings for Botan, had she just unwittingly stumbled across something in particular they liked to tease him about?

"Well, sometimes Kuwabara doesn't understand everything that's going on," she said.

"It had better stay that way," Hiei replied.

"I've never told Kuwabara that Yukina is your sister!" Botan cried defensively. "He talks about it all the time, about how he wants to be the one to find Yukina's long lost brother, how he wants to be the one to bring Yukina's brother to her, and I say nothing!"

"Yet."

"I never said anything! After all this time! I have kept that secret for years!"

"You're typically not very good at keeping secrets."

"Well excuse me for not being so secretive like you are!"

"What are you implying?"

"That you keep secrets all the time!"

"Like what?"

"I don't know, like how you're Yukina's brother! You've never admitted that to anyone, I only know because Lord Koenma told me!"

Botan sighed, feeling attacked, but the feeling passed quickly when she saw the way Hiei was looking at her. She searched his eyes, trying to think what she had missed in their last exchange.

"Is there something else you're keeping secret that I should be concerned about?" she asked him.

He immediately looked upwards, his action so sudden, Botan followed his eyes. The sky was black at the very top, though it still glowed a deep shade of red around the horizon (in every direction). There were no stars to see, but the gradual change from pitch black at the very top of the sky to the red of the horizon was quite a pretty sight. The landscape was not as dark as it ought to be for nightfall, but Botan reasoned that was probably because of the light still lingering around the horizon. Demon World was a strange place, but it was still beautiful in its own way. In one direction, a distance thunderstorm was occasionally illuminating a mountain range, and in the opposite direction, there was a vague static charge of an ongoing battle between two very powerful demons some distance away.

"You should go."

Botan looked down at Hiei again, but he had turned away from her.

"But I wanted to talk to you!" she protested.

"We did talk," he flatly replied.

"But we didn't actually talk about anything!" Botan argued.

"We spoke about enough. You should go."

"Is there a reason you suddenly want rid of me?"

Hiei looked back over his shoulder at Botan.

"I'm getting out of the water now," he said.

"So?" she countered.

Hiei started to stand up, and as the waterline reached the outward curve of his rear end she abruptly turned away.

"Are you naked?" she cried.

"Yes," he plainly replied.

"Why would you be swimming in here naked?" she wailed.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Botan cupped her hands by her eyes as she heard Hiei wading out of the river. She could not even imagine what he looked like naked below the waist, and she was not nearly ready to see the actuality. She briefly considered it odd that, minutes earlier, she had been fine with the idea of Hiei seeing her naked, and yet she was not ready to see him that way, but dismissed it when her mind began telling her that, if he got dressed in that moment, it would still be okay with her presenting herself to him devoid of her swimsuit.

"Why won't you look at me?" he asked.

Botan froze. In her mind, she was imagining him standing with his legs astride and his hands on his hips: though everything below his waist was vague and undefined in her mind.

"It wouldn't be right," she meekly answered him.

Botan heard Hiei moving about behind her, but she did not dare move from her position until she was sure she had allowed him sufficient time to get dressed again. At that point, she peeked out from behind one hand, over her shoulder, and found him standing by the bank of the river, dressed the way she more usually saw him, with every part of his body below the neck obscured beneath baggy black clothing.

"I'll escort you back."

Botan was so taken aback by his offer she took a moment to respond.

"O-oh, well, that's very kind of you," she began. "But I'm–"

"I'm not doing it out of "kindness"," he replied, almost spitting out the word "kindness". "I'm doing it out of duty."

"Okay."

Botan stood up and waded over to the edge of the water, feeling that her visit to Demon World had been a waste of time. She probably should have just gone to bed, had a good night's sleep, and waited until the meeting in Demon World the next day to bother Hiei. Just at the moment that she started to feel stupid she stopped short, crossing her eyes to focus on the hand that had just appeared in front of her face. She hesitated, looking down at Hiei's hand, partially wrapped in slightly ragged bandages. At such close proximity, she could see every imperfection of his skin, the imprint of his fingerprints, fingerprints that were doubtlessly on half of the treasures in the evidence locker in Spirit World. The bandages around his hand were made of gauze, wrinkled and, in some places, starting to fray.

"Come on," he urged her.

She looked up at him, sliding her hand into his. In the poor lighting, she could not really make out the look on his face, but she did not have time to wonder about it too much, as he pulled her from the water with a little too much force, turning what had seemed like a chivalrous gesture into what was more like as close to chivalry as Hiei was ever likely to get. Botan stumbled awkwardly onto the riverbank, and nodded a thanks to Hiei, but he did not release her hand.

It was odd, because holding onto his hand in that moment felt exactly the way Botan had always imagined holding hands with him might have felt – not that she had really given it much thought before that moment, and yet still, the sensation met her expectations. His hand was slightly cold, particularly so at the tips of his fingers, much like her own hands were. His skin felt soft and light.

It was different to the way it had felt when she had touched his hand accidentally on the way out of Koenma's office, where she remembered that his hand had felt hot and his skin had felt calloused: though she supposed the temperature difference probably had a lot to do with the difference between being indoors and being outside at night, straight out of a river.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

He grunted and finally released her hand. She quietly got dressed again as he patiently waited for her, turned away as though he thought he needed to be for some reason. Once she was ready, she summoned her oar and turned to Hiei to offer him a ride.

"Don't be ridiculous," he said before she could speak her question. "I'll follow you on the ground."

"Okay," Botan agreed.

Sitting onto her oar and rising up into the air, she quickly decided it was for the best that he had declined her offer. She was not sure she was ready to be in a situation where they would be forced to sit so closely together, a situation neither of them could quickly escape from if things became awkward. She flew on, watching the ground as much as she watched for the portal back home. He never looked up at her, but she supposed that he had no need to. He surely knew where all the portals were, and would be running towards the nearest one: and yet he kept perfect pace with her as she flew. Eventually, she reached her exit, pausing and holding up a hand to wave goodbye. Hiei had stopped below her, but did not appear to be looking up in her direction, and so, with a sigh, she slipped through the portal.

Botan yelped as she arrived in Spirit World, her last look down as she passed showing that Hiei had eventually looked up and held up a hand to her. She contemplated going back through the portal, but decided that she had waved first, and surely his wave to her was just an answer to her initial gesture, and so she slowly continued on.

The portal Botan had come through took her back on the south-east side of the temple, approaching from beyond the garden walls. She could see the row of windows that belonged the ferry girls' sleeping quarters, and, as was to be expected at that time of night, all the windows were in darkness. As she drew closer still however, Botan noticed that, in fact, one of the windows was illuminated. It was the very end window, the one at the very end of the corridor, the window that belonged to the largest and best of the rooms: it was Ayame's room.

Botan sighed to herself. It was odd that Ayame would still be awake, since she was usually so disciplined, but Botan thought that the older ferry girl was probably still awake because she was studying, or working on something. Ayame was so organised, so careful, no word or action ever unnecessary or wasted. Everything she did was meticulous and flawless, and she had a near-irritating ability to make everything she did look incredibly easy. Ayame always followed the rules, she never took chances and she never took risks. Some of the other ferry girls hated her for her haughty perfection, and although Botan shared their envy of Ayame's put-togetherness, she found it hard to hate her, as there was simply nothing to hate about her.

Botan flew up to the illuminated window, hovering there for a moment as she wondered if she ought to call on Ayame. Maybe she was working on something and would appreciate some help. Botan raised her hand towards the window but stopped, just shy of her goal, as she began to fall into the idea that Ayame probably would not want, or even appreciate, her offer of help. Whatever it was she was up so late working on was probably something top secret, something Botan, even in her new role as Special Spirit Detective, would not be privy to.

Botan lowered her hand to her lap and hung her head. She wished that she and Ayame were closer. Or that she and any of the other ferry girls were closer. There was no-one in Spirit World Botan felt she could really confide in, not in the way she confided in Shizuru and Keiko, and that was really quite sad.

"Botan, what are you doing?"

Botan gasped as she noticed that the window ahead of her was open ajar, and Ayame was suddenly standing at it, holding the curtain aside.

"Hi, Ayame!" Botan awkwardly replied, waving a hand at her.

"Why are you up so late?" Ayame asked her. "And why are you hovering outside my window?"

"Well, I was just coming back, and noticed you were still up," Botan began.

"Coming back?" Ayame asked. "Back from where?"

"Demon World," Botan replied.

Ayame looked surprised, and it was only when she saw that look on the ferry girl's face that Botan realised it was probably unusual for a ferry girl to be visiting Demon World, least of all so late at night.

"As part of your new role?" Ayame asked.

"Yes," Botan replied, jumping onto the excuse Ayame had unwittingly offered her. "I was meeting with an officer of the Border Patrol, in fact."

"Hiei?"

Botan faltered slightly upon hearing Ayame guess the correct answer so quickly and address it so directly to her.

"Yes," Botan admitted.

"So… You're going back to them?" Ayame asked.

"Back to them?" Botan echoed. "What do you mean?"

Ayame sighed and appeared to look worried.

"It's just a little odd, a ferry girl always spending time around demons," she said sadly. "You're the only one of us who does."

Ayame looked to her side and Botan copied her action, looking down along the long row of windows, each one belonging to a different ferry girl. She supposed Ayame had been trying to make the point that Botan was one of many, and yet she was the only one who deviated from the norm, the only one who had befriended beings in the other worlds.

"Demons aren't all bad," Botan tried.

"No, but it's not our place, nor our business, to be mixing with them," Ayame replied. "Least of all the way you do."

Botan stiffened indignantly.

"What do you mean by that?" she asked.

"I mean you're very attached to some of them," Ayame replied. "It's dangerous. It's inappropriate."

"Well, that's just your opinion," Botan haughtily responded. "And as Yusuke – a demon – always says, everyone has an opinion, just like an asshole."

Botan suspected she had quoted Yusuke wrongly, but Ayame looked offended, and that was a good enough response for her, and so she owned her words, folding her arms and raising her chin smugly.

"It's not normal for a spirit to be so involved with demons," Ayame said softly. "Just think about that."

She closed her curtain and closed her window and Botan continued on her way: but she could not help but think that Ayame was jealous. She was also certain that all the other ferry girls felt the same way. She was sure they were all looking at her as though she was strange because she went to places and met with beings they never did. Usually, that idea would have upset her (and it had occurred to her more than once before), but as she was starting a new role within Spirit World, it no longer mattered what the other ferry girls thought, did or said, because she was no longer one of their number.

Botan smiled to herself, thinking about the freedom her new role would give her. She could choose where she went, when she went there, who she met with and what she did. It was a blessing. It almost made her feel like she had been severely suppressed in her previous role, the lowest ranking of her species, a mere servant in her own world: but finally, in her new role, she was free.

* * *

"Botan."

Botan moaned softly, stretching in her bed and resettling herself to continue sleeping.

"Botan."

She groaned and screwed up her face, but refused to open her eyes.

"Botan!"

She gasped and opened her eyes: but the face leering over her did not match the voice that had been calling her name.

"Botan, Lord Koenma sent me to wake you up," George greeted her.

Botan propped herself up on her elbows and blinked at him. She could have sworn she had heard Hiei calling her name, at first softly, then firmly, and then with a degree of urgency, the third time being so insistent that it had awoken her.

"You have your big meeting in Demon World today, Miss Botan," George said.

"Yes," Botan groggily replied. "George, how long have you been standing there?"

George looked about himself before hanging his head meekly.

"Apologies, Miss, but you didn't respond when I knocked on your door, and Lord Koenma told me to hurry," he said in a tone as pathetic and subservient as he looked in his hunched over pose.

"No, that's fine," Botan said, sweeping aside her bedsheets and swinging her legs over the edge of her bed. "It's just… I thought I heard someone else with you."

"No, it's just me," George replied.

Botan nodded. She did not think that she looked especially cute when she first woke up, so she was silently glad that Hiei had not snuck into Spirit World to see her – as enticing as that idea was – she would rather he did not do something like that when she was just waking up. She stood up and stretched her arms above her head, and as she moved up onto her balls of her feet, an idea occurred to her that made her lose her balance and almost fall back down on her bed.

If Hiei was going to surprise her by visiting her in her room in Spirit World, she would prefer he did it when she was in the shower.

"Are you okay, Botan?" George asked.

"I'm fine!" Botan lied, waving away his offer of assistance as she righted her balance. "Tell Lord Koenma I'll be with him momentarily."

George nodded and bowed to her, before backing out of the room and closing the door: but not before Botan heard two passing ferry girls whispering about the fact that she was going to Demon World. Botan stuck her tongue out, even though they would not see her gesture through the closed door, and then set off to get herself ready for the day.

She slid open the door on one side of her wardrobe, reached up, gathered up all her outfits and then spun around, flinging them all over her bed. She then closed the door, opened the door at the other side, and repeated her actions. This was her first day in her new job, she had to look professional. But it was also a day where she was going to see Hiei, a day of going to see Hiei after (albeit unknowingly) being in a river with him when he had been naked, and so it was important that she also looked good. She had a lovely orange kimono with a flower decoration, but she was sure she had worn it to the Dark Tournament, and therefore Hiei had already seen her in that outfit, and so she could not possibly wear it again. Not unless he especially liked her in that outfit. Yusuke had said that Hiei's attraction to her had started during the Dark Tournament, what if that one kimono was what had done it for him?

Demon World was also a warm place, so maybe she could wear something from her summer collection. Something that showed her legs, perhaps. Something that was professional, but sexy, something that would show people she was taking her new role seriously and that she was to be taken seriously, but something that also turned heads.

"Hurry up, Botan!"

Botan sighed at the sound of Koenma's voice bellowing down the corridor outside her room. She turned to the full-length mirror in her room to check herself, turning from side to side before giving herself a nod of approval. The spaghetti strap lemon sheath dress she was wearing was perfect for the occasion: it fell to just below her knee, which was a professional length, but it was nicely form-fitting and open around the neck and shoulders, so was equally sexy. She was wearing her hair in low pigtails, that again looked both sensible and cute, and she even had a nice pair of shoes and a sensible bag that matched her dress.

The funny thing was, it was an outfit she had seen Shizuru wear once, but one that she had no recollection of owning herself: but she did recall, when she had admired the outfit on her friend, that Shizuru had told her she would also suit such a look, and so perhaps she had acquired it around that time.

Botan shrugged and moved on, opening the door and finding Koenma standing there, in his adult form.

"Botan, we have to go!" he said urgently.

He paused, looking her over slowly.

"You look nice, Botan," he said quietly.

"Thank you, Sir," Botan replied sweetly. "You don't look so bad yourself."

Koenma looked slightly confused, but shook it off, and together they set off. As they walked the halls of the temple, Botan felt that same feeling she had felt after visiting Keiko the day before. She was embarking on something new, something exciting, something incredible. It was hard for her to control herself as she walked, hard for her not to skip or break out into a run, hard for her to control her smile, to keep it polite and stop it from becoming goofy. When they reached King Enma's throne room, she sobered a little, the sight of him getting into a large palanquin, held up by countless ogres, reminding her of the formality of the situation. The entire SDF were present, taking station all around King Enma. An ogre brought Koenma a white horse to ride, helping him mount it and then taking the reins to walk alongside and guide the horse.

"Where should I stand?" Botan whispered up at Koenma.

He looked down at her for a moment before sighing and nodding at the ogre by the horse's head. The ogre turned to her and Botan waited for him to tell her where she was expected to join the party, but instead he wordlessly threw her over his shoulder and then sat her down behind Koenma, facing out the way, sitting her on the horse in the same position she would take to ride her oar.

"I could have ridden my oar," she whispered to Koenma.

"It's fine, Botan," he replied. "Just keep quiet."

Botan nodded her agreement, clutching at the saddle of the horse as it began to move, taking a moment to adjust to the rolling movement of the horse's gait before settling. Koenma followed behind his father and three SDF officers followed behind him, the entire party passing through an enormous portal King Enma had opened directly to their destination.

As they passed into Demon World, Botan took a deep breath, thinking to herself that the air was not nearly as unpleasant as Spirit World always described it as, and not even as unpleasant as she remembered it from her first few visits to Demon World. Maybe she was getting accustomed to it, she mused. Maybe Demon World was not such a bad place. And she actually had more friends in Demon World than she did in Spirit World. Maybe, one day, she could move to Demon World.

The horse carrying Koenma and Botan began to move out at an angle, until it reached a point that Botan could see past King Enma's carriage, on to their destination ahead. She smiled at the sight that greeted her.

Mukuro's palace looked exactly the way she always thought it would.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan and Hiei attend the big meeting in Demon World, but their attention is more focused on each other than the meeting itself. Afterwards Hiei shows Botan around – though that appears to have been a ruse to get her alone, and, in a moment where Botan feels an incredible connection to him, Hiei asks her to do something very important. **Chapter 6: I'll Give You Love**

**A/N:** Complexity set to soar in the next one (although I think this one heavily hints at ongoing shenanigans).


	6. I'll Give You Love

**Last Chapter: **(Was written very particularly to set-up for the pending twist). Botan went skinny-dipping (sort of) with Hiei, she felt alienated in Spirit World and she set off for the big meeting in Demon World.

* * *

**Chapter 6: I'll Give You Love**

Mukuro's palace was only a fraction of the size of King Enma's temple, however it was every bit as grand, and the architecture was far more intricate, much like the temples Botan was more accustomed to seeing in the human world. King Enma's temple was quite utilitarian on the exterior, but Mukuro's temple was layered and colourful, with windchimes hanging from the edges of the overhanging roof that swung softly in the breeze, creating faint, undulating melodies. The walls around the temple were the height of a high garden wall, like the ones in the human world, rather than several storeys high like the ones in Spirit World, and, like the temples in the human world, the four corners of the walls had towers, manned by guards. One of the guards in the tower nearest Botan made a waving hand signal, and the gate began to open, to allow the guests from Spirit World passage.

As they entered the temple grounds, Botan was surprised to see a wide, clean, smooth, paved pathway leading up to a set of stone steps to the temple doors, with neatly mown lawns on either side of the path. It was so clean and neat and pretty, and once the gates had closed behind them, it was (aside from the red sky overhead) almost as though they were no longer in Demon World at all. At the top of the path, the concession stopped, and Botan had to hang on as the horse stopped beneath her. The ogre who had been guiding the horse helped Koenma down and then offered a hand to Botan, who took it a little cautiously, eying him warily, vaguely worried he might try to hoist her off the horse much the same way he had hoisted her onto it. However, the ogre simply took her hand and let her lean on him as she slipped off the horse's back. She nodded a thanks to him and moved over to Koenma's side, smiling to herself when she realised that he had waited for her, and that they were to walk in side-by-side.

King Enma barely made it through the temple doors into the temple, and once inside, his hat was brushing against the wooden beams that held up the ceiling. He was so large he was almost as wide as the distance between the wooden pillars they were passing through, but he appeared unaffected, and continued on, behind his guard of SDF officers. Either King Enma or the SDF appeared to know where they were going, as they walked briskly, through the temple to wide, high sliding doors, that led into a lush room with velvet carpets and scrolls hanging on the walls bearing artwork; one of which was a very detailed painting of the Dragon of the Darkness Flame.

At the top of the room, Mukuro was sitting on a large, ornate throne, with a man standing either side of her – one of whom was Hiei.

"Enma, welcome," she greeted the king.

She made a gesture with her hand, and several demons scurried over, carrying various benches. Botan waited patiently until a low bench was brought close to her, sitting down onto it along with Koenma. Once she seated, she allowed herself to look at Hiei, and found him already looking at her. He looked away when she tried to meet his eyes, but not before she had noticed the look on his face. She smiled to herself, taking the look on his face to mean that her choice of outfit had been a universal success.

Mukuro began speaking to King Enma, but Botan did not really hear the details of what they said, her attention focused only on Hiei, despite the implications of the meeting and despite a part of her wanting to look around more, to study the rest of the artwork on the walls. As she watched him, Hiei became stone-faced, but before she could wonder why, she heard his voice inside her head, smiling in spite of herself at the realisation that he was talking to her telepathically.

"Meet me in the gardens after this."

Botan nodded her head, bit her lip, and tried to keep a level-head. She felt like he was inviting her to sneak out somewhere she was forbidden to go. She had no idea why he wanted to meet with her, but she was excited to find out. She tried looking over at him, tried to read his face to see what he might have planned, to see if he was as excited about their plans as she was: but, typical Hiei, he remained impassive and kept his eyes forward.

Before long, Koenma was standing up at her side, and Botan hurried to copy his action, turning to him questioningly.

"We're done," he told her.

She nodded and started to leave, but he put a hand on her arm.

"You and I should return to Spirit World with the others," he advised.

"Oh, yes, of course Sir," she said, stealing a glance over at Hiei, who stepped down from his position at Mukuro's side and started across the room. "But I have to just… Powder my nose, bye!"

Botan blurted out her weak excuse at the end before pulling her arm from Koenma's hand and hurriedly following the same path Hiei had taken. She expected to find him out in the gardens, still looking all sullen, and so when she started down the temple steps and noticed him standing by a stone water fountain at the edge of one of the lawns with his back to her, she began to really wonder what he was up to. She slowed as she approached him, watching him prod at the fountain as though testing its rigidity.

"What the hell is this?"

Botan stopped, a few feet short of Hiei. He was addressing her in that odd tone again, that low, intense tone, the same one he had used back when she had encountered him following her defeat of the Lure. She swallowed and clutched at her tiny clutch purse, feeling something had changed somehow, though she could not quite put her finger on exactly what it was.

"What is this?" he asked, turning to face her.

Botan was struck dumb, his question leaving her mind almost as soon as he had spoken it, her focus entirely then on the way he was looking at her. Again, just as he had done when she had encountered him after her battle against the Lure, Hiei was looking directly at her, staring almost, directly into her eyes, in a way he never usually did. She found herself taking three steps closer to him, almost as though the way he was looking at her was somehow hypnotic, drawing her in to him.

"Hiei?" she said. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes," he said, still looking directly at her. "I need to tell you something, and you must listen to me very carefully."

"Okay," she agreed, nodding her head. "Should we stay here, or go somewhere more private?"

"Somewhere more private?"

Botan could not tell if Hiei was suggesting they should go somewhere more private or if he was questioning her suggestion due to the odd tone of voice he was still talking in.

"Could you show me one of your patrol vehicles?" she asked. "I'd like to see one up close."

Hiei blinked and the look in his eyes changed.

"Alright," he said gruffly, his voice once more back to normal. "Follow me."

Botan gladly followed Hiei towards the temple gates, all the while wondering what the inside of a patrol vehicle might look like, and if Hiei would show her how to drive it, or maybe even take her somewhere in the vehicle. Maybe he would take her somewhere to show her something spectacular like a scenic viewpoint. She was starting to see that some parts of Demon World could be so picturesque, she was sure there must be some romantic vistas there, and the thought of Hiei taking her to one, the thought of him being the sort of man who would think to bring a woman to such a place, gave her that rush of joy and shivers in her chest.

Outside of the temple gates they quickly found a patrol vehicle, and Hiei opened the door, walking inside ahead of Botan. She followed after him, finding that the vehicle was domed and white and pristine on the inside, with a control deck that looked exactly like the control deck she had seen inside a Spirit World armoured vehicle the SDF used. The whole interior was quite similar to how she remembered the inside of the SDF's vehicle looking, but she supposed they were basically the same thing, so that only made sense.

"Do you drive these yourself?" she asked.

"Sometimes," he replied.

"It looks so complicated…"

Botan eyed over the control deck, which, on closer inspection, was even more complex than the one she had seen in the SDF's vehicle.

"Did it take you a long time to learn how to drive one of these?" she asked. "Should I learn how to drive these vehicles too?"

Botan moved a few steps closer to the control deck, swallowing hard as she noticed that even more buttons and controls appeared as she got closer, making the very idea of attempting to drive the vehicle become increasingly daunting to her.

"I wouldn't really need to drive one of these, would I?" she mused.

She backed away one step, her eyes lifting to look out of the front window. Demon World really did look exceptionally pretty that day, prettier than she had ever remembered any part of it ever coming close to looking.

"I want to show you something."

Botan turned to Hiei upon hearing his words, a rush of excitement rising up within her chest again.

"Here," he said, opening a hatch in the side of the vehicle.

It was the same sort of hatch the armoured vehicles in Spirit World had: they were for maintenance purposes, opening out to metal rungs that allowed a person to climb up onto the roof of the vehicle. Botan moved over to the hatch and leaned out of it, looking up to see the exact same metal rungs, leading all the way up the side of the vehicle.

"Go up to the roof," Hiei said behind her.

"Okay," Botan agreed.

She climbed out of the hatch and began scaling the rungs, something she did effortlessly and without thought until she reached about the halfway mark: at which point she froze. Suddenly, she was keenly aware that, with Hiei climbing up behind her, he could probably see up her dress. It did not help that she chosen to wear a skater dress, that was so billowy and flared, and with it being quite short – hanging to only halfway down her thighs – she was sure he must be able to see all the way up to her underwear.

The thought briefly occurred to Botan that maybe it was quite sexy that he might be looking up her dress and seeing her underwear, and she was a little ashamed to find that she lingered in that position far longer than she ought to have. She made no verbal excuse for her actions, but neither did Hiei question her, and she could hear that he had stopped his ascent beneath her. She smiled to herself until she could steady herself again before carrying on, climbing to the roof of the vehicle.

The view from her new vantage point was incredible. To her left, rolling landscapes, a snaking river that stretched away from her to a distant waterfall on a mountainside; to her right, flat plains and distant Okunen Trees stretching almost up to the cloud-line. The sky was blood red, decorated with clouds that were shades of blue, purple and grey. It looked prettier than Spirit World.

"It's lovely up here," she concluded.

"I thought you might like it," Hiei replied.

Botan smiled to herself at his comment.

"Do we have time to sit down and enjoy the view for a while?" she asked.

"Of course," he replied.

Hiei sat down first as Botan tried to lower herself as gracefully as she could in heeled shoes, whilst almost being mindful of the breeze that was threatening to lift the loose folds of her dress. Hiei held up a hand to her and she accepted his offer, slipping her hand into his to steady herself as she sat down. He held onto her hand for a moment after she was settled, but when she looked directly at him and smiled he released her hand and turned to look out over their view. It was a strange thing when he held her hand. Botan had heard so much about "sparks" people felt when they touched people they were attracted to, and although she liked touching his hand, it did not give her any unique sensation. It just felt like she had put one of her hands into the other: his hand even felt like one of hers when she tried to think about exactly how it felt.

She bit her lip and looked out across the scenery, enjoying it briefly before another breeze passed over her and she was forced to scoop her arms under her thighs to hold her dress in place.

"Oopsie!" she giggled.

She glanced at Hiei and he appeared to have stolen a look at her for a moment, and again the idea went through her mind that he might have just seen a flash of her underwear.

"What?"

Botan frowned for a moment before panicking that she had spoken her last thought out loud, upon hearing Hiei respond, once more addressing her in that unusual, low tone of voice.

"Nothing!" she said awkwardly, keeping her eyes on the view ahead of her. "I was just trying to preserve my modesty."

"What?" he asked again, still in that same, unusual tone.

"I was worried when the wind took my dress, you might have been looking at my underpants."

Botan said the words before she could stop herself, cringing for a moment before turning her head to look at Hiei. She was not sure how she had expected him to respond to her words, but the perplexed look on his face and the intense way he was staring at her was neither the response nor the look she had expected from him. He made a strange growling sound, and even momentarily flashed his teeth, like a cornered animal, his confusion turning to irritation.

"I wasn't looking at your underpants, woman!" he said, his voice still in that unusual tone, though with a slight edge of irritation in it.

"I never said that you were!" she wailed.

"Is this really where you go?" he responded.

"I'm not going anywhere!" Botan cried. "Where do you think I'm going? I'm not going somewhere rude or dirty, if that's what you mean, Hiei!"

"I don't mean anything. You started this."

Botan nodded slowly.

"It was just that I thought you might have been sneaking a look up my dress," she muttered quietly.

Hiei made the strange growling sound again, this time flashing more of his teeth, his top lip wrinkling slightly with the gesture.

"Never mind about that," he said.

"I don't mind," Botan replied.

Hiei faltered slightly.

"I wasn't looking at you like that, woman," he said.

"Okay," Botan replied. "But… If you were–"

"I wasn't!"

"I wouldn't mind. If you were."

Hiei paused for a long moment, long enough that Botan started to notice that it did not feel as warm as it had when she had first arrived in Demon World. In fact, it felt quite cold, almost as though the air was slowly dropping in temperature, in the way it did when Yukina got angry about something. It also felt damp. The air felt increasingly cold, damp and heavy.

"Botan, I need you to listen to me."

Botan found that she could no longer look away from Hiei's eyes, staring at her so unwaveringly.

"This is important," he added.

"Okay, I'm listening," she said. "But – for the record – I really wouldn't mind if you did look up my dress–"

"Botan!"

Botan gasped as Hiei suddenly grabbed her hand nearest him. The first thing that struck her was how rough and hard his skin felt. The bandages he wore around his hand were frayed and coming loose, but they did not detract from the roughness of his skin. She could feel every crease, every bend in his knuckles.

And she could feel his pain.

"Let me heal that for you," she said.

She broke away from looking into his eyes to look down at his hand, turning it over in hers. It looked unharmed, looked exactly like it always did, and yet she could feel his pain. Her hand began to glow against his as she conjured her healing energy, because although she could not see any wounds, she could feel them so distinctly, she was sure he must be hiding something.

"Are you-are you doing that on instinct?"

Botan met Hiei's eyes again, finding his face looking almost childlike in wonder as he looked into her eyes.

"You're using your healing energy instinctively," he said.

"I don't want you to be in pain, Hiei," she frankly replied. "I care about you."

In that moment, looking into Hiei's eyes again, Botan felt that it had become so cold it almost felt like winter. The air felt damp and heavy, she could sense something nefarious, but it felt far off, and in an undefined direction from her. It seemed darker, her periphery vision fading, all her attention becoming focused on and filled by Hiei's eyes, looking at her so intently.

"You shouldn't be doing this right now," he said, his voice still in that low tone.

"I don't mind," she replied. "I don't mind doing this for you. I don't mind doing anything for you. Anything you want me to."

"There's just one thing I want you to do," Hiei responded.

"Anything," Botan confirmed.

"I want you to wake up."

"Wake up? But I'm not–"

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies. What's real and what's not? Botan has a question she needs answered and it seems the only one who can answer her truthfully is the Lure. #catchandrelease **Chapter 7: Wake Up**

**A/N: **We've officially reached the point where the parallels between this fic and Anything She Does become blatant. I may list some on my Tumblr account in the coming days.


	7. Wake Up

**Last Chapter:** Botan visited Mukuro's strangely human-like "palace", and Demon World looked soooo pretty. She wore a shape-shifting dress that she was sure Hiei was looking up and just when she noticed that his hand felt like it was injured, he asked her to wake up.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Wake Up**

Botan gasped in what she thought was a deep breath, but no air reached her lungs. She tried again, and thought that she had inhaled water, but did not feel any inside her. She blinked, her eyes suddenly out of focus.

"Wake up!"

She winced and tried to breathe and tried to focus her eyes.

"Botan, wake up!"

Her eyes started to clear a little, and she could just about make out a face in front of her own.

"Botan, can you hear me now?"

She blinked twice more and finally realised she was looking at Kurama.

"Botan?" he asked.

"…Kurama…?" she vaguely responded. "I don't-I don't understand… Where am I?"

"The Lure caught you, Botan," Kurama answered. "It's been feeding off of you, but it's alright now, we've almost got you free."

"No…" Botan said, shaking her head. "No, that's not… I defeated the Lure!"

"No, Botan," Kurama replied. "You were ambushed by the Lure. We came to rescue you. We've almost got you free."

Botan wanted to ask more questions, but her mind instead latched onto the fact that Kurama had told her twice that she was "almost free".

"What do you mean almost–"

Botan stopped short, her eyes growing wide and her every sense returning to her with an alarming slap. She screamed and began to struggle, but Kurama gripped her arms to hold her in place.

"You must remain still," he said in a soft and soothing voice that did little to soothe Botan's frayed nerves.

Her eyes remained fixed on her legs, her every instinct screaming at her to fight. Kuwabara was crouched over the lower half of her body and he had conjured what appeared to be a miniature version of his Spirit Sword. He was cutting the illuminated blade of energy through a thick white gauze that was wrapped around her.

"The Lure caught you in its web," Kurama explained. "We've been cutting you out for some time. You became unresponsive twice, the first time for a considerable length of time. We were worried we'd lost you entirely."

Botan moved her eyes to Kurama's hands on her arms. His palms were red raw, and there were short, hairline lacerations all across the backs of his hands. She lifted her eyes to his face and noticed then that he had a hairline cut across his nose and part of one cheek, and another over both his lips.

"You're hurt," she commented.

"I was trying to pry you free," he explained with a gentle smile. "The webbing is infused with energy that repels any outside forces."

Botan looked down at Kuwabara, who was still concentrating on his task of cutting her free. His hands were not reddened like Kurama's, but he did have the same cuts over his hands and face that Kurama had.

"How do you feel?"

Botan moved her eyes back to Kurama.

"I'm confused," she admitted.

"That's to be expected," he replied. "The Lure injected you with a venom that caused you to have lucid hallucinations."

"Lucid… Hallucinations?"

"Yes."

"But… I don't understand. How did the Lure get free?"

"It came here from Demon World."

"Yes, and I fought it, defeated it, and took it to prison in Spirit World – you came with me, Kurama! We flew together on my oar, with the Lure, to Spirit World!"

Kurama looked thoughtful for a moment before answering.

"It's rather strange that particular chain of events would form part of your hallucination, however I am afraid to inform you that what you have just described did not actually happen," he said, with the sort of meandering diplomacy he saved for truly hopeless situations. "My first encounter with the Lure was after it had already snared you. Kuwabara and I came here as quickly as we could, but we were too late to stop it taking you. The Lure resisted us until you were completely immersed in your hallucination. It then fled and we began cutting you free."

Botan looked about herself again. The sky was white and grey. The landscape was bleak. The air was cold. It was getting dark.

"Where's Hiei?" she asked.

Kuwabara hesitated very briefly in his task, but a quick glance from Kurama set him back to work cutting the webbing.

"He and Yusuke had other matters to attend to," Kurama told Botan.

"Like what?" Botan asked.

"Yusuke was protecting Keiko and Yukina and Hiei responded to a report from the Border Patrol that a human was in distress in Brazil. He had to investigate, it sounded as though the person had been a victim of the Lure."

"Brazil?"

"It's a country, Botan."

"Country?"

"It's on the other side of the world."

Botan lowered her eyes to Kuwabara. He had freed her knees and was halfway down her shins. He had acquired a few fresh scratches since she had last looked directly at him, and, taking a moment to watch him work, she saw what was the cause: occasionally strands of the web were flying loose as he cut through them, and when they whipped against him, they cut his skin with a small purple spark of demonic energy on impact.

"Where is the Lure?"

Kuwabara stopped short and looked up at Botan.

"Don't stop, Kuwabara," Kurama urged him.

Kuwabara looked less than convinced, but eventually succumbed to Kurama's stern glare and returned to his task.

"It fled," Kurama said, turning back to Botan once he was sure Kuwabara's attention would not stray again.

"Where."

"Gees, Botan!" Kuwabara groaned.

"That's something we will worry about," Kurama said, using that calm and reassuring tone of voice again. "All that you should worry about for now is getting back home and getting some rest."

"Home?" Botan echoed.

"To Spirit World."

"No."

Kurama tilted his head slightly in question.

"Spirit World isn't really my home any more."

Kuwabara grumbled "darn it" under his breath, but Kurama ignored him.

"Botan, I understand this must be all very confusing for you," he said patiently. "But you have just awoken from a vivid, sustained, hallucination. You have been living inside your own imagination. But you're back now."

"Back where?"

"Reality. Welcome back to reality, Botan."

Kurama was smiling but nothing he was saying was doing anything to reassure Botan.

"I was in Demon World," she said.

"That was part of your hallucination," Kurama replied.

"With Hiei," Botan added.

"Also a part of your hallucination."

Botan really wished Kurama would stop using the word "hallucination".

"Got it!" Kuwabara cried triumphantly.

"Don't touch it," Kurama warned.

Kuwabara stood up and stepped back and Kurama pulled the last of the webbing away from Botan's feet. When he touched it, purple light sparked and flared around his hands, and Botan could literally see it searing into his skin.

"Come on Botan, let's go," he said, throwing aside the webbing and holding out a hand towards her.

Botan reached her hand towards his, pausing an inch short of her goal. With her palm hovering over his she could feel the heat emanating from his wounded skin. She could feel his pain. It was exactly the same feeling she had felt when she had held Hiei's hand just minutes earlier.

"You're hurt," she said, looking up at Kurama.

"Yes, but don't worry about that," he gently replied.

"Let me heal that for you," she offered, touching her hand against his and channelling her energy into her palm.

"You shouldn't be doing this right now."

Botan sharply met Kurama's eyes. His words sounded familiar and even his tone of voice sounded familiar. It was that same tone she had heard Hiei speaking in, that low, soft, but intense tone.

"Was it you all along?" she asked him.

"Come on," he said, closing his hand around hers and pulling her to her feet.

Botan tumbled awkwardly and the world around her blurred. She felt like she was falling, sounds blotting in her ears until she could no longer define any words being spoken. She blinked and tried to focus, but found herself feeling like she was drowning again, despite there being no water in her throat or lungs. She struggled, starting to feel as though she was sinking underwater, the moment only ending when she started to breathe more easily, her hearing and sight slowly returning: and her sense of balance took a moment longer to stabilise, whereupon she found herself being held in Kuwabara's arms, and he was running.

Botan blinked blearily and looked up, past Kuwabara's face, the pink hue overhead telling her he had brought her to Spirit World. She shook her head and tried to tell him this was wrong, he was taking her away from Hiei, away from Demon World, away from her new job, but her voice came out as a croak, and before she could make it any clearer, he had lain her down onto a sofa in the common room of the ferry girls' living quarters.

"Oh, Botan!"

Botan screwed up her face as Ayame dropped to her knees at her side.

"Are you alright?" Ayame asked.

"I'm-I'm fine," Botan replied.

Ayame looked less than convinced and so Botan moved her head, looking around the room. A ferry girl was healing the wounds on Kurama's hands, Kuwabara was dismissing another ferry girl who was trying to heal his cuts, telling her insistently that his "beautiful flower Yukina" would heal his wounds. Koenma came to her side, at which point Ayame moved out of his way. In his toddler form, he had to lift his chin to look Botan in the eye.

"Botan, thank goodness you're alright!" he gushed.

"I'm not alright," she flatly replied. "Kurama took me away from our meeting."

Koenma frowned.

"The meeting we were having in Demon World," Botan added.

Koenma shook his head.

"Remember?" Botan pressed. "King Enma was meeting with Mukuro at her palace. You and I rode there together on a white horse."

The ferry girl attempting to heal Kuwabara snorted in amusement, concealing laughter behind her sleeve: but a stern glare from Ayame sobered her quickly.

"Botan, I've never ridden anywhere on a white horse in my entire life," Koenma calmly told Botan. "Least of all with you, to Demon World, to attend a meeting between my father and Mukuro."

"No, but we were having a meeting," Botan argued. "We were all having a meeting because of the Lure."

There was a short silence in the room, during which the ferry girl healing Kurama's hands leaned in closer to him and asked him what a lure was.

"Botan, the meeting, the horse, my father, all of us going to Mukuro?" Koenma said slowly. "None of that was real."

Botan scowled at him.

"That was a hallucination," Koenma continued, still talking slowly. "Brought on by the venom the Lure injected you with."

"No!" she protested, sitting up abruptly.

"Botan, you should be taking it easy in your condition," Ayame advised.

"I don't have a condition!" Botan snapped back. "You have a condition! Yusuke has a name for it! You have the handle of your oar stuck up your–"

"Botan, please, calm yourself!" Koenma urged.

Botan glared at him before turning her glare to the two other ferry girls, who were giggling behind their sleeves.

"Are the two of you done here?" Ayame asked them coldly.

They nodded.

"Then I suggest you leave," Ayame firmly responded.

They hustled out of the room without hesitation and Ayame sat down into an arm chair near Botan's feet.

"Leave us, I will watch over her," Ayame said to Kuwabara and Kurama.

"You two should go," Koenma agreed. "The Lure is still out there somewhere, and as long as it is, it remains a clear and present danger."

"Agreed," Kurama replied.

He nodded at Kuwabara and they left the room, leaving Botan alone with Koenma and Ayame.

"Sir, I will watch over Botan," Ayame said to Koenma.

"Alright Ayame," he agreed. "Please take good care of her–"

"I want to speak to Hiei."

Botan turned around to sit on the sofa correctly. She clasped her hands together and rested them in her lap, a position she expected to bring her a sense of calm, but instead caused her a stabbing pain in her thighs. She immediately opened apart her hands and stared down at her thighs, noticing then that she had a bloody circle in the thickest part of both of her legs. Just as she was about to ask where she had acquired the wounds, she noticed she had identical wounds in each of her biceps.

"The Lure was feeding on you, Botan," Koenma explained, apparently understanding her unspoken question from her confused reaction. "The wounds will heal, but you must get some rest."

Botan turned to him, searching his eyes for any sign that he was joking with her somehow. When she found none, she turned to Ayame, sitting so primly in the armchair at her feet.

"I want to speak to Hiei," she concluded, turning back to Koenma.

Koenma gave her a critical look, but when she remained determined, he nodded and produced his own communication mirror. He flipped it open and passed it to her. She accepted it, though she remained wary: she was still sure somebody had tricked her somehow that she had ended up where she was. She pressed a button to call for Yusuke, as Hiei did not have his own communication mirror, but Yusuke was usually a reliable way to track down the fire demon.

"Botan!" Yusuke greeted her. "Hey, are you okay?"

Botan studied his image carefully. He was in Keiko's house, and in the background, Yukina was serving what looked like a gourmet meal as Keiko watched on.

"Don't eat the gravy, it's terrible," Botan told Yusuke.

Yukina and Keiko both turned towards the mirror curiously.

"What the hell are you talking about, Botan?" Yusuke asked. "The gravy is like… Gravy! It's even better than I can make!"

"No, it's terrible," Botan replied. "Yukina is not learning well, Keiko is finding it really tiring."

"What?" Keiko said in the background.

"Yukina is doing really well, Botan," Yusuke said. "Why would you think she isn't?"

"I've tasted her gravy," Botan replied. "It's not good."

"Well, if you say so," Yusuke said, suddenly gaining a sly smirk. "I thought it tasted pretty damn good myself."

He glanced over his shoulder, returning with an even wilder look on his face.

"Not as good as Keiko's though," he said.

Keiko gasped behind him.

"I can't get enough of Keiko's gravy," Yusuke said. "I guess you could say nothing quenches my thirst like a long drink of Keiko's gravy."

"Yusuke, behave yourself!" Keiko cried.

"Your gravy is very nice, Keiko," Yukina commented, oblivious to the tone the conversation had taken.

"See Botan?" Yusuke said, his smirk turning into a grin. "Even Yukina can't get enough of it."

"Yusuke Urameshi!" Keiko shouted.

"I had a whole mess of Keiko's gravy last night," Yusuke said, leaning closer to the communicator. "Got it all over my face."

Koenma snatched the communicator from Botan's hand.

"Yusuke, just put Hiei on!" Koenma snapped at him.

"Hiei's not here," Yusuke replied. "He left after Mukuro called him. A human was found in someplace called Brazil. They think the guy was a victim of the Lure."

Botan's heart fell upon hearing Yusuke repeat the same story Kurama had told her. The feeling she had been having, the feeling of excitement about something positive ahead, the rush she had gotten when she had gone to look for Hiei, the high she had felt when she had gone to Demon World with King Enma's procession had all gone. She felt flat, numb, detached. The room around her was one she was very familiar with, but it looked smaller and strangely duller in colour than she remembered it.

"Thanks Yusuke," Koenma said, before closing his communication mirror. "Hiei's not available, Botan."

Koenma gave Botan a strange look, one that made something sting in her chest, something that made her feel struck with the reality of her situation, her location and those around her.

"Why did you want to speak to Hiei?"

Botan slowly shook her head.

"I don't know-no reason," she said, touching a hand to her head.

Her skin felt damp and slightly slimy to the touch, and the further thought occurred to her that she had no idea how she looked. She had woken up to find Kuwabara cutting her out of the Lure's web, and touching the web had burned Kurama's hands raw, and the snapping strands of web had cut both Kurama and Kuwabara.

"Can I have a mirror please?" she asked.

Koenma held out his communication mirror towards her and she shook her head. Ayame moved over to stand in front of her, producing a hand mirror from one of her sleeves. She held it up in front of Botan's face, and, other than looking a little tired and her hair looking a little dishevelled, Botan thought that she did not look much out of the ordinary.

She felt that she ought to have looked much more unusual, as she felt completely alien.

"You should get some rest, Botan," Koenma insisted.

Botan let her eyes linger on her own reflection for a few seconds longer before nodding her agreement. Nothing made sense and maybe if she fell asleep she would wake up feeling renewed. Maybe she would wake up and find that everything that was currently happening to her had just been a dream. Maybe she would wake up and be back on the roof of the patrol vehicle with Hiei.

"Keep watch of her, Ayame," Koenma said to Ayame.

"Of course, Sir," Ayame replied, bowing smoothly to him as he took his leave.

Ayame watched Koenma leave the room before turning her attention back to Botan.

"Are you alright here, or would you prefer to rest in your own room?" she asked.

Remembering that there had been two other ferry girls in the room only moments earlier, Botan came to her decision quite quickly and with absolute certain.

"I'll go to my own room."

Botan stood up to leave, feeling a little woozy again as she reached her feet.

"I can manage," she lied, when Ayame moved closer to her.

"I'll come with you," Ayame replied.

"That won't be necessary," Botan replied, as politely as she could manage. "I'm perfectly capable of walking myself to my own bed!"

Botan started off, finding herself quite unsteady on her feet, but continuing on regardless, with dogged determination. She staggered out of the common room, grabbing at the doorframe as she passed through it.

"I'm fine, Ayame," she said when she heard the older ferry girl following her out of the room.

Botan continued on for ten steps down the corridor, before pausing, finding herself sweating and breathless already. She peered back over her shoulder, and found Ayame standing close behind her.

"I said I'm fine, Ayame!" Botan snapped at her.

"Yes, you did," Ayame flatly replied. "But I'm just going to walk behind. Just in case you need me."

"I don't need you…" Botan grumbled, turning away and shuffling and stumbling along the corridor.

She finally reached the door to her own room, falling against it and slumping into it to slide it open. She rolled herself over the edge of the door and staggered forwards until she fell, diagonally and face-down, onto her bed. She heard the door to her room slide closed, and she sighed, closing her eyes. She then heard Ayame sitting down into the wooden chair at the desk by the door. Botan groaned, but lacked the energy to move herself or complain, and so she just relaxed into her bed, and let herself fall asleep.

* * *

"Botan."

Botan opened her eyes and inhaled deeply. She had been deep in a dreamless sleep, but the sound of a familiar voice speaking her name brought her sharply back to reality. She lay still for a moment, looking up at the ceiling of her bedroom.

"Botan, are you awake?"

Botan slowly sat up, clutching her bedsheets to her chest.

"I made some tea," Ayame said from the corner of the room. "I think a nice strong cup of tea, a shower, a change of clothes, and getting back to your regular duties will do you the world of good."

Botan watched Ayame pour steaming hot tea into a small cup. Everything she had said was so typically Ayame – tow the line, do your duty, do it correctly and efficiently – but Botan was suspicious. After all, the voice that had roused her from her sleep was not Ayame's.

"There you are."

Botan took the cup from Ayame, but kept her eyes fixed on the pale, sullen face looking down at her. Botan sipped at the tea, feeling neither surprised nor delighted that it had been brewed to perfection. Ayame's kimono was crisp and smooth, she wore her black hair in a low bun, held in place by three pins, all evenly spaced and thread through by the same length.

"Finish it," Ayame urged.

Botan did as she asked before handing the cup back to her and sweeping aside her bedsheets. She took a step forward, but Ayame did not move.

"Are you going to watch me shower too?" Botan asked her incredulously.

"I'll be waiting outside your door," Ayame replied.

Botan turned away before rolling her eyes. The last thing she needed was Ayame watching over her every move. She tried to suppress the thought, instead focusing on having a nice hot shower. As she removed her clothes, she could not help but notice that the circular wounds she had seen on her arms and legs the day before had almost healed entirely, with nothing more than faint pink imprints remaining. It was not really surprising, as she knew that she could heal such wounds herself if she got a restful enough sleep, and the sleep she had been enjoying had certainly been restful: even if it had ended a little too abruptly.

The shower she took was not as enjoyable as she had hoped, and so she simply went through the motions, dressing in a fresh pink kimono and tying her hair up into her signature high ponytail (while it was still wet, but knowing it would quickly dry as she flew around on her oar). She stepped out of her room and found Ayame diligently standing there waiting for her.

"Here is your schedule for today," Ayame greeted her.

Botan grunted and accepted the offer of a piece of paper, stuffing it up one sleeve.

"We'll head out together," Ayame said as they started down the corridor together. "Here is a replacement communication mirror for you, you can call me if you feel you can't complete your work."

"Replacement communication mirror?" Botan echoed.

"Your previous one was destroyed by the Lure," Ayame replied. "Kuwabara tried to recover it for you, but it had been too badly damaged by the Lure's web."

Botan kept walking, but her attention remained focused onto the communication mirror in her hand. She clutched it tightly, remembering how she had clutched her old communication mirror tightly when she had approached the Lure. She remembered flipping it open, preparing to call for help if she needed it.

Then she remembered calling Koenma, Kuwabara and Yusuke, and all of them (with Kurama and Hiei in the background) had denied the legitimacy of her call.

Botan sighed and stuffed the new communicator up her sleeve. She and Ayame exited the temple side by side, looking up the long path to the temple gate. The view reminded Botan of how Hiei had been waiting for her at the gate after she had defeated the Lure and taken it to Spirit World prison. She almost turned to Ayame to ask which cell the Lure was being held in, but stopped herself just before doing so as she remembered that Kurama had told her the Lure had fled, and that she had hallucinated bringing it to Spirit World.

So then she must have also hallucinated Hiei waiting at the gate for her, telling her she was reckless to have fought the Lure alone. She had thought it odd that he cared so much to wait in Spirit World just to tell her she was reckless – sounding mostly like he was in fact worried about her.

Worried about her because he had feelings for her, just like Kurama had told her.

That had been a hallucination too. It had to have been, because it followed her defeat of the Lure. Everything from her defeat of the Lure onwards must have been a hallucination. Yukina making terrible gravy, Keiko seeming to have a crush on Kurama, Shiori being so glad to see her, Koenma promoting her to a new role, her being allowed to attend a meeting between King Enma and Mukuro, all had been hallucinations.

Everything she had experienced regarding Hiei, from the moment she had encountered him at the temple gate in Spirit World, had been a hallucination too. Or maybe even before that too. He had appeared after she overpowered the Lure, and he had seemed surprised. That must have been false too, because Hiei had apparently gone to the other side of the human world when that happened. That memory, of him standing there, looking at her so intensely, talking to her in that low, hypnotic tone that drew her in, was fake.

His feelings for her were fake.

Every interaction she had shared with Hiei since she had met the Lure had been fake. All hallucinations.

It suddenly struck Botan as incredibly odd that the main focus of her supposed hallucinations had been leaving Spirit World to start a new job and potentially embarking on a romantic relationship with Hiei.

Why Hiei?

"Botan."

Botan shivered.

"Are you ready?" Ayame asked at her side.

Botan moved her eyes to her side, looking at Ayame from the corner of her eye. Her fellow ferry girl had summoned her oar, and was looking at her expectantly. Botan held up a hand, her oar appearing into it, and, wordlessly, she sat down, and took to the air alongside Ayame: even though the voice that spoken her name was not Ayame's.

Together, the two ferry girls flew up into the sky and through a portal to the living world. Once there, Ayame took out her own task list and told Botan where she was going, how far away it was, how close she would be if Botan found herself struggling and had to call on her for support. Botan barely heard her, but nodded occasionally to give the illusion that she was listening. She even took out her own task list and pretended to look it over when Ayame told her not to worry about her tasks for the day. Botan then bowed her head as Ayame turned away, and waited until her shimmering black form was out of sight before turning in the opposite direction and flying swiftly away.

Botan's first assignment was to collect a soul in Gobo, which was south and west of where she had arrived. For a few miles she flew south, before travelling a short way west before slipping down through the clouds. Below and ahead of her, she could see a picturesque public park. A young couple were walking their dog, a small group of teenage boys were playing soccer in the open grassy part of the park, and, over the curve of a winding footpath, a little girl was playing with a ball.

Botan aimed herself towards the park, landing on the grass and moving over to a low stone bench. She sat down on the very end of the bench, her hands gripping the cold stone edge of the bench either side of her legs. She did not sit there long before the little girl's red ball rolled past her feet, slowing to a halt by the edge of the path. From the corner of her eye, Botan saw the little girl moving towards her, her arms outstretched in the direction of her ball.

It was wrong. Inherently, Botan knew that. But she had to do it. And it was not that there was anything wrong with her, she just needed to know.

The little girl hoisted herself up, sitting onto the opposite end of the bench from Botan.

It just made no sense that Hiei should have featured so prominently in her hallucination. She understood why she had hallucinated having a new career – that was something she secretly, desperately wanted – but it made no sense why she would have seen so many, so vivid, so intense hallucinations of Hiei.

"Botan."

It the voice that had awoken her that morning. The voice she had heard say her name at the temple gates in Spirit World. The voice that was calling her to it. And Botan had not gone because she was being called, or because she was somehow under the thrall of the Lure, she just needed to ask the question, that was all.

"I knew you'd be back," the Lure said, swinging her tiny legs, which were too short for her feet to reach the ground when she was sitting on the bench. "Everyone comes back. Every time. Always wanting more."

"I didn't come back for you to take advantage of me again," Botan said quietly. "I just came back because I have to know: why Hiei?"

From the corner of her eye, Botan saw the Lure grin, her chin dipping and the top half of her face falling under the shade of her hair.

"That's all," Botan added.

"That's never all," the Lure replied. "That's never all, and it's never enough. I knew you'd be back, I just didn't expect you to come back so quickly. You must really, really like being my prey."

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan insists she only sought out the Lure to ask it why Hiei had been one of the main focuses of her hallucination, but when the Lure explains what its power really is, what it really does to its victims, Botan is left with more questions and no answer to her original one. Just when Botan feels overwhelmed, someone else shows up and Botan starts to think she may never find the answer. **Chapter 8: There You Are**


	8. There you are

**Last Chapter:** Botan woke up to find she had been ensnared in the Lure's web, and Kurama and Kuwabara were trying to free her. After returning to Spirit World for a night's sleep, she was sent back out on duty, but immediately abandoned that to seek out the Lure.

* * *

**Chapter 8: There you are**

"I knew you'd be back, I just didn't expect you to come back so quickly. You must really, really like being my prey."

Botan tightened her grip on the edge of the stone bench.

"No, you monster," she ground out. "I just need to know why you made me hallucinate about Hiei. Why you made it seem like he had feelings for me. I thought your power was that you were supposed to make people feel good. You just made me feel confused!"

""Make people feel good"?" the Lure repeated. "That's a gross over-simplification of what I do if ever I heard it."

"Alright then, what is it that you do?" Botan snapped.

"I push you."

Botan waited for a moment before sighing in exasperation.

"What kind of an answer is that?" she blurted, turning her head to glare at the little girl sitting on the other end of the bench.

"An accurate one," the little girl replied, her tone far too calculating to be human, despite her still looking so very, very human. "I push you. That is what I do. I push you down, way down, into the deepest parts of your subconscious. I let you live there."

"The deepest parts of my subconscious?" Botan echoed. "Are you trying to tell me that, in the deepest part of my mind, lives a Hiei who has a long, enduring crush on me, one that is so intense, he acts awkward around me?"

The Lure turned her head and looked directly at Botan.

"I didn't say that," she said. "I didn't say anything. You said that."

"I didn't say it!" Botan argued. "You made me think it!"

"You already thought it," the Lure returned, slowly shaking her head. "I just made you focus on it."

"That's not true."

"It is true."

"That's not possible."

"You must think it. You wouldn't have seen it, otherwise."

"Why would I think something like that? Why would anyone think something like that?"

"Maybe because you wish the real Hiei had a "long, enduring crush on you, one that is so intense, he acts awkward around you"."

The Lure smiled that unsettling, sickening smile at Botan, looking over at her from under the shade of the pretty black hair she somehow had on her cute little head: her cute little head that housed a vile and twisted mind, Botan thought bitterly.

"Are you saying I'm in love with Hiei?" Botan asked quietly.

"Again, I'm not saying anything," the Lure replied. "You said it, not me."

"But why Hiei?" Botan pleaded.

"Only you can answer that," the Lure said.

"But I can't answer it! That's why I'm here, talking to you now!"

"So… You admit that you sought me out for your own purposes, not because I was calling on you?"

"I just want to know why. It seemed so real – it was so detailed, so intense – I just need to know why Hiei."

"The answer lies in the deepest parts of your subconscious."

"Well then why can't I find it?"

"Maybe you need a little help. Maybe you need a little something to push you down there, so you can search for your answer."

Botan paused. She hated that the first thought that occurred to her was that maybe she should let the Lure take her again, just for a little bit, just so that she could find out why her hallucination had primarily been of Hiei. Or just to have another hallucination – one that looked, sounded and felt so very, very real – about Hiei.

"Maybe I could…" she began.

She swallowed hard, gripping her fingers into the stone bench until the joints in her fingers ached. Although most of her knew it was wrong to even be talking to the Lure, she could not shake off the small part of her that wanted her to be there, the tiny part of her that wanted to go back to her hallucination, back to being something more than a ferry girl with a too-long task list, something more than a side-kick to the others in her life, something more to Hiei.

"Maybe…" she said softly. "Maybe I do have feelings for him. In my hallucination, I felt like I maybe always had, but that I'd never really let myself admit to it, because I was so sure it could never work out between us. And, now that I think about it, I can't imagine Hiei ever wanting someone like me. All my friends – Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kurama – tried to rescue me, but Hiei didn't even come close. The more I think about it… I'm surprised he even knew things about me when he spoke to me back in Spirit World, at the start of our mission. I'm surprised he even spoke to me at all. I-I just – wait – did he speak to me? Did that happen? When did the hallucination actually start?"

"The answer to all your questions is one little sleep away from you."

Botan looked down at her feet, but her mind was blank. The Lure was suggesting something absurd and terrible, and she thought nothing about it. Nothing at all. When she felt hands grabbing her arms and hauling her to her feet, she numbly let it happen. She was prepared to keep her head down and just try to think, try to make sense of what was happening to her – of what had been happening to her – but when the hands holding her shook her slightly she looked up, startled back to reality when she saw the face looking at her.

"Botan, that was close, the Lure almost got you again!" Ayame said to her.

Botan looked over Ayame's shoulder at the Lure, her mind once more going blank when she saw Kurama grab a handful of the Lure's hair and swipe his other hand across its neck, severing its head from its body with a single blow of his leaf blade. The Lure's body fell limply to the ground and Ayame released Botan, spinning around to face Kurama, who was still holding the Lure's head by its hair.

"What have you done?" Ayame asked him.

"I have done what needed to be done," Kurama solemnly replied.

"Your orders were to capture the Lure and return it to Demon World!" Ayame said.

"This creature is very dangerous," Kurama said, glaring at Ayame in a way that made Botan afraid. "Destroying it is the only viable option."

Ayame looked about herself in what was as close as Botan guessed the super cool ferry girl ever got to a panic. Botan copied her actions, growing anxious herself when she realised that several other humans in the park had just witnessed Kurama behead what appeared to them to be a little girl. A crowd was starting to gather, but Kurama appeared not to care, despite him having always guarded his human disguise very carefully in the past.

"You have all been very wrong," he said darkly. "You should never underestimate a Lure. This creature could have done unthinkable things. The only way to deal with these monsters is to destroy them wherever they are found."

Ayame looked around the growing crowd before summoning her oar.

"Botan, take Kurama, get out of here!" she said to Botan.

Botan found her oar in her hand somehow, but stood still, watching on as Ayame grabbed up the Lure's body, snatched its head from Kurama and took off on her own oar.

"We should go too, Botan," Kurama said, bringing Botan back to her senses again.

Botan nodded and sat onto her oar, waiting for Kurama to join her at her side before taking to the air. As she ascended, she looked down at the humans watching them – she supposed the SDF would visit and do something to make them all forget what they had seen – but really her mind kept drifting back to one thought that she was ashamed to allow into her head: with the Lure gone, she would never find out why she had hallucinated about Hiei or how she really felt about him.

"You shouldn't have done that," she said, turning her head to look at Kurama.

"It had to be done," he plainly replied.

"That's as may be, but you did it in front of a crowd of humans," Botan countered.

Kurama looked down, catching one last look of the crowd that had gathered in the park before they rose above the clouds.

"Botan, you yourself have been a victim of that monster," he said. "You know what it is capable of. You were lucky that we caught you before it drew you in again. Freeing you from it the first time was always going to be a relatively easy task, but freeing you a second time, freeing you after the Lure has successfully used its typical catch and release strategy on you, would have been much more fraught. And if it had not taken you, it only would have taken someone else. I was not prepared to let it take another victim."

"You were worried it might target your family," Botan concluded aloud.

Kurama did not answer her, but he did not really need to, Botan already knew that her assumption was correct. She knew that Kurama could be ruthless when threatened, and she appreciated that he was very protective of his human mother and extended human family, but she was surprised that he had done something so blatant, so risky. And she was even more surprised that he was letting her take him to Spirit World with her – though she was glad that he was coming with her, as his presence there, especially after his actions in the human world, would distract Ayame and Koenma from the fact that Botan had gone looking for the Lure.

Arriving in Spirit World, Botan saw Ayame zipping downwards into the section of the temple the SDF used as their headquarters, still carrying the remains of the Lure with her. Botan wondered if there was more than one Lure – the way Kurama had spoken about it, he had made it sound as though Lures were an entire species – and if there was another one, she wondered if it might cross her path any time. Would she have the same hallucination with a different Lure? The Lure had told her the hallucinations had come from her own mind, not from anything the Lure had done to her, so maybe another Lure could answer her question about Hiei.

Botan was not really thinking about where exactly she was going or why, but found herself going to Koenma's office, with Kurama following behind her. Koenma seemed to have been expecting them, as he was sitting in his throne with his arms crossed, glaring at them as they entered the room.

"I expect goofs from Botan, but you, Kurama?" he began.

"I did was necessary," Kurama coldly replied. "You will thank me in the long run."

"You murdered a child in a public park in broad daylight!" Koenma barked back.

"Well, I'll leave you two to it," Botan said.

"Hold it right there, Botan!"

Botan stopped short. She had turned towards the door and taken a step towards it, but paused.

"You're not off the hook either, Botan!" Koenma continued. "I know what you did. I know you went back to find the Lure – even after everything it did to you, after it very nearly made you lose your mind entirely!"

Botan looked down at her feet. She knew she ought to, but she could not make herself turn around.

"Go to the class room and wait," Koenma added.

Botan clenched her fists at her sides. The class room was the place juniors of Spirit World went to train. The only time ferry girls ever went there was when they were brand new or when they were being punished for failing to perform their duties: and the latter was something Botan had only ever heard about in rumour, never actually witnessing an example.

"Now, Botan!" Koenma barked.

Botan let out a cry of despair and ran from his office. She ran through the temple, somehow managing to run in a straight line, as though the crowds around her were parting to let her through (which they maybe were, seeing as she was clearly distraught, and also the fact that some of them were giving her odd looks, clearly disapproving of her as the spirit who fell victim to a demon and had to be rescued, only to then willingly return to her captor). She was glad to find the final approach to the class room was deserted, and, unsurprisingly, the room was vacant when she entered it. She dropped herself at a desk, crossing her arms over the desk and resting her forehead against her forearms, where she closed her eyes and tried to focus on calm breathing, tried not to cry.

The room was still, serene, and, despite how distraught she was to have been sent there, Botan found herself calming down relatively quickly.

"Why did you go back to the Lure?"

Botan's eyes snapped open and she froze.

"Everything that wastrel showed you was false. Why would you pursue something that is false?"

Botan slowly lifted her head. She blinked a couple of times to be sure, before tilting her head as she found her eyes confirming what her ears had heard.

"Are you listening to me, woman?"

Botan nodded dumbly. Hiei was sitting in a chair he had positioned on the other side of her desk. He was looking so deeply into her eyes she almost felt like he was hypnotising her. He was talking to her in that low, intense voice she had heard in her hallucinations, but she knew this moment was real because she could actually feel him. She could feel the warmth of his body, she could feel how close her was to her: and, as though to reaffirm the moment, one of his knees brushed against hers beneath the desk. She gasped at the contact and he grunted out something that sounded uncharacteristically like an apology.

"Why did you go back to the Lure?" he asked again.

"I just wanted to ask it a question," she confessed.

"You had no need to consult with the Lure," he corrected her. "Kurama and I have plenty of experience of its kind. There is nothing you could need to ask of it that we couldn't have answered for you. Tell me why you really went back to it."

"I-I never thought about asking you."

"You never do."

"What?"

Hiei's top lip twitched and he made a small growling sound of irritation.

"Why did you seek it out?" he pressed. "You literally went looking for it the moment you were back on your feet."

"I just…" Botan began. "I just needed to know why."

"Why what?"

"Why it showed me… One of the things that it did."

"There's something you covet that you need the Lure to provide for you?"

"No…"

"You never struck me as the type who needed anyone else to get what you want. You've never been backward at coming forward."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're terrible at keeping secrets. I'm certain if there was something you really wanted, everybody would know about it, and you being as stubborn as you are–"

"Hey now!"

"–you would surely be chasing after it already. So again, why did you go back to the Lure?"

Botan straightened her back, feeling slightly attacked and ready to defend herself. She hesitated in responding only because she found herself vaguely distracted by the intense look in Hiei's eyes, but when he leaned over the desk, leaning so close to her that she could feel his breath on her face, she lost her train of thought entirely, and stayed silent.

"When I heard a Lure was in the human world, I thought it might take Yusuke's woman to try to get to Yusuke," he said. "Or that it might take Kurama's human mother to toy with him. I thought it might even go after Kuwabara."

Hiei narrowed his eyes and his top lip flickered, briefly flashing his teeth as though just thinking about Kuwabara irritated him.

"It never even occurred to me that you would be the one to fall victim to the Lure," he eventually continued. "Lures target the emotionally weak. I never thought of you in that way."

Botan's eyebrows lifted and she saw Hiei's throat move as he audibly swallowed hard.

"Not that I think of you," he added. "At all. Ever."

"Okay," she said slowly. "Thank you for clearing that up."

"Just tell me why you went back to it," he insisted. "If I know why, it will be easier for me to help you."

"Help me?"

"I'm trying to get you out of this."

Botan looked about herself.

"Out of class?" she asked.

Hiei blinked a couple of times, the look on his face changing. The intensity eased as he took on an almost childlike look of confusion. Botan did not really want to stay where she was, and since she had not been able to ask the Lure why her hallucination had primarily been about Hiei, maybe if she left the class room, went with Hiei, spent some time with him, maybe she could find the answer for herself.

"Is that why you came here?" she asked him. "To take me somewhere else? Where are you taking me? And why?"

"I didn't come here to take you anywhere," Hiei grumpily replied, looking off to one side and squaring his shoulders in that defensive way he often did. "I was sent here to talk to you."

"Oh," Botan said, deflating both emotionally and physically. "You aren't here by choice?"

"Koenma is worried you've been traumatised by your experience with the Lure."

"No, I'm fine."

"Well, clearly you're not. You did go looking for the Lure almost as soon as you'd been freed from it."

Botan nodded slowly.

"I had a good reason for that," she muttered under her breath.

"The reason is that the Lure tempted you with what its powers showed you when it caught you, and now you can't resist, you want to go back for more," Hiei answered her.

"That's not exactly true," Botan said, shaking her head. "I didn't go back for more, I just went back to check something."

"You went back for more," Hiei flatly responded. "You're not thinking clearly, and Spirit World don't trust you now."

Botan nodded reluctantly. She already knew nobody in Spirit World trusted her: it was the reason why Ayame had watched her sleep, followed her to work, it was the reason why the other two ferry girls who had been in the common room the day before had been whispering and laughing at her. None of them trusted her. She was the ferry girl who socialised with humans and demons. She was the ferry girl who went to Demon World. She was the one who did not conform to the rules for her role. She was the odd one out.

"It's the same for you," she said quietly.

"What?" Hiei grunted.

"It's the same for you," she said more clearly. "You're as much an outcast as I am. They don't trust you either."

"Of course Spirit World don't trust me," Hiei said. "I'm a demon."

"Not Spirit World. Demon World. You don't fit in there any more than I fit in here in Spirit World."

"You're mistaken."

"I remember when I first met you."

"A lot has changed since then, especially me."

"You didn't belong in any of the three worlds then. You don't now."

"You're right that I didn't belong then, but I do now. I belong in Alaric, working with Mukuro."

"No you don't. She doesn't trust you any more than Koenma trusts me."

"I am loyal to her."

"Unless you have to choose between her and Yusuke. Or her and Kurama. Or even her and Kuwabara."

"You choose humans over spirits all the time."

"Exactly. I'm not entirely loyal or entirely trusted by my world, and neither are you by yours."

"Maybe that's why Koenma wanted me to talk to you now."

"Maybe it is. Maybe he's smarter than I thought he was…"

"Or less so, that he would trust a traitor like me to preach to you that you ought to give up your treacherous ways."

Botan smiled.

"Hiei…" she said in a low voice. "Did you just make a little joke?"

"Hn, don't be ridiculous," Hiei scoffed.

Botan's smile widened in spite of herself.

"It sounded like a joke to me, Hiei," she said.

"It's not a joke, Botan," Hiei said sternly. "Nothing about this is a joke. They don't trust you not to go back to the Lure."

"I can't go back to the Lure. Kurama killed it."

"So you admit you want to go back to the Lure."

"That's not what I said!"

"If Kurama hadn't killed it, would you go back to it now?"

Botan pouted and Hiei sighed.

"And that's why Koenma sent me here to talk to you," he said.

"You came here to talk me out of going to see the Lure again?" Botan asked. "Not that I was going to – I mean I can't, Kurama killed it – but even if he hadn't, I wouldn't! I couldn't! I won't!"

"You have to forget whatever it showed you," Hiei replied. "It was false. You need to let it go. You need to move forward."

"I know it was false."

Botan looked down at the desk in front of her, if only to avoid looking at Hiei.

"It would have been really nice if it had been real," she said sadly. "And, really, that was all I went to see the Lure about. I just wanted to ask it why. I wanted to ask it why it showed me what it did."

"I think you already have your answer," Hiei quietly replied.

Botan froze, realising that Hiei was correct.

"I do," she admitted. "I do know why it showed me what it did. It showed me the thing I wanted most of all. Something I tried to pretend I didn't want. Pretend I didn't even feel. Something that lived only in the deepest parts of my subconscious. Something that can only ever live in the deepest parts of my subconscious."

"That is the true power of the Lure."

Botan lifted her head, looking directly at Hiei, even though his eyes were downcast.

"Its true power is that it makes something impossible real for you," he said, sounding almost sympathetic. "And you went back because the only way you could experience it again was through the Lure. The only way to make it real was to experience it in a hallucination."

Botan nodded.

"Yes," she said sadly. "It's won't ever be real any other way."

"If it isn't real, it's not worth wasting your energy on," Hiei replied. "You should focus your energy on things that are real."

"Like what?" Botan asked miserably.

"Like the things that interest you."

"A promotion to a better job in Spirit World interests me. That was one of the things the Lure showed me. But I've ruined my chances of that ever becoming a reality now. Like you said, Spirit World think me a traitor. They don't even trust me to do my current job, never mind a more important one, one with more responsibility."

"Maybe you should focus on pursuing a future somewhere else."

"Somewhere outside of Spirit World?"

"There was a time when I only wanted to be the most notorious, most successful thief in Demon World. Then I met people I hated, and they made me do things I hated, and it changed me. It changed everything. You just need to stand up. You need to fight this. You need to be courageous. You need to make your own destiny, not chase after a false one a pathetic, low class demon fabricated for you."

Botan smiled bitterly.

"I don't think I can be courageous," she said, swallowing back the threat of tears welling up from her chest.

"I think you can be."

Botan's eyes dried and grew wide.

"You-you do?" she asked.

"Yes," Hiei plainly replied.

"Really?"

"Don't make me repeat myself."

Botan laughed.

"And don't prove me wrong," Hiei added, sounding almost viciously threatening. "I don't like being wrong."

Botan laughed harder.

"That was definitely a joke, Hiei!" she said.

Hiei grunted and shook his head, but not before Botan caught a hint of a smile on his face.

"They're not going to let you out of here until they're convinced you're not going back to the Lure," he said.

"I can't go back to the Lure, Kurama killed it!" Botan argued.

"You know there are more."

Botan felt a strange pang within her as Hiei gave her a strange look.

"You read my mind!" she accused, pointing a finger at him angrily.

"I didn't need to," he calmly replied.

Botan adjusted herself in her seat, avoiding looking directly at Hiei as she found a thought rising to the surface of her mind and expanding, until it took up everything inside of her, until it eventually burgeoned up and out of her mouth.

"Are there other Lures?"

Hiei gave her a harsh look.

"I was just asking!" she said defensively.

"You don't need to go looking for pathetic weaklings who will only lie to you," he said.

"I didn't say I was going to "go looking" for Lures!" Botan sighed.

Hiei nodded.

"But are there many of them, and how difficult would it be to find another one, do you think?"

Hiei growled under his breath, his eyes narrowing.

"I was just curious!" Botan added.

"I believe humans have a saying about what curiosity does to a cat," Hiei replied.

Botan tilted her head.

"Was that another joke…?" she asked tentatively.

Hiei grunted and stood up, turning away without either confirming or denying Botan's leading question. She was silently glad that Ayame had never returned, as she had been sure she was facing a day of being lectured by her flawless colleague. Instead getting to spend the time with Hiei was much preferable, but she still wished she could spend the time with him under better circumstances – circumstances where he had not effectively been hired to test her sanity.

"Even if another Lure appears," she began. "I promise I won't go looking for it."

Hiei looked back over his shoulder at her, his expression flat, unreadable.

"I'll stay away," she continued. "I won't go looking for it. I'll stay here, in Spirit World, until you – or Yusuke, or Kurama, or Kuwabara, or whoever – catches it and kills it, or detains it or returns it to Demon World. I promise, Hiei."

"You have to do this," he said.

"I will," she insisted. "I promise."

"You have to do this for me."

"For-for you?"

"For me. For those who care about you. For everyone. For yourself."

Hiei slowly turned his head away. Botan stared at his back for a long moment. He was wearing his usual, baggy black pants – the kind she had mused over during her hallucinations, and she smiled as she found them looking as shapeless and deceptive in reality as they had in her delusions – and a ragged, dull blue vest. His scarf and cloak were absent, leaving his arms on display. As usual, his arms were wrapped in bandages from just above his elbows down to the bases of his fingers, but, as usual, even that could not obscure the definition of his strong, lean arms.

Botan wondered what it felt like to be held in those arms, if he hugged tightly or if he would be amenable to cuddling softly on a sofa.

"Thank you Hiei," she said quietly.

"For what?" he asked, keeping his head turned away from her.

"For coming here," she replied. "For helping me."

He said nothing, but somehow Botan felt that was because he was too proud to admit that he had come to Spirit World to help her. She hoped that part of the reason he was there was because he cared about her – even if it was just as a friend – but she was too afraid to ask him if that was the case. Or maybe she, like he, was too proud to ask, too afraid of rejection or ridicule. Like Hiei.

Botan silently and smoothly stood from her seat and leaned forwards. Her desk pressed against her legs and she had to stretch and strain to reach over it, and although she knew it would be logical to just walk out from behind the desk, she persisted, leaning forwards as far as she could manage, she reached out an arm, which felt heavy and awkward in her stretched position. She just managed to reach her goal, her hand landing on Hiei's shoulder. She touched him lightly at first, the initial contact making her pause. Her hand landed on his bare shoulder, and the feeling of touching him there was not what she had expected it to be. His skin was warm and unexpectedly soft, but when she applied a little pressure with her fingertips, she could feel a taut firmness just beneath his skin, which, she realised, was a swell of muscle.

"Hiei?"

Hiei suddenly grabbed his hand onto Botan's, holding it against his shoulder, he turned partially around, forcing her arm to move across the front of her body. The movement made her increasingly aware of the desk in front of her, holding her back from him, and she began to feel irritated by it.

"What is that you needed from the Lure, woman?" he asked, his voice low, and his eyes intense.

Botan wanted to look at the desk holding her back, to figure out how to move it out of her way or to step around it, but she found herself unable to look anywhere other than into Hiei's eyes, looking directly at her in a way they so rarely did.

"I just wanted to know why it kept showing me something," she replied.

"What?" Hiei insisted. "What did it show you that was so important you had to go back for more?"

"It showed me life."

Hiei froze and so did Botan. She was the first to recover.

"I-I've never really felt alive before," she said, the realisation literally occurring to her as she spoke it. "I've felt happy and sad, but the emotions I felt when the Lure had me, the hope, the passion… I've never felt those feelings, never felt anything so intensely… I felt more alive when I was "hallucinating" than I did when Kurama woke me up and Kuwabara took me back to Spirit World!"

"Alive?" Hiei said quietly.

"I know it probably sounds stupid to you!" Botan cried defensively. "But it was everything to me! I just want to feel that way again! I just want to really… I just… I want to feel that way. I want to be that person. I want my life to matter. I want exciting things to happen to me, not just to other people around me. I want to be the hero of the story for once. I'm tired of watching life happen to other people, I want to live my own life."

"You don't need the Lure to make that happen," Hiei said, sounding surprisingly sympathetic.

"Yes I do," Botan said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I do because one of the things I want in my life can only be possible in my imagination."

"You can have anything you want if you try hard enough," Hiei answered. "And you've never been one to give up on something just because it was difficult."

"This isn't a difficult thing, Hiei. This is an impossible thing."

"Hn, I never thought I'd hear you call anything impossible."

"You."

"…What?"

"It's you."

"What is?"

"You're impossible."

"What?"

"It's you, Hiei. I just wanted you. And the only way that can ever happen, is in my imagination."

Hiei said nothing, but he did continue to look directly at her. Botan wanted desperately to look away from him, to hide her tears, but she was spellbound, unable to look away, and he was still clutching her hand against his shoulder, making it difficult – even if she had been able – to will herself to look away from him.

"The Lure showed you me?" he asked, his voice so quiet it was barely above a whisper.

"Yes," Botan replied, her voice as quiet as his. "It showed me a lot of things, but that – you – is the thing I think I want the most."

"You want me?"

"Yes, I think I do."

Hiei made a low noise that was indecipherable.

"But…" Botan began cautiously. "That can't ever be a reality, can it? You couldn't ever… You wouldn't ever want to… We won't ever be… Right?"

Hiei said nothing, but again, he did not look away, nor did he release her hand on his shoulder.

"Right, Hiei?" she pressed.

"I…" he began, his voice still quiet.

"Hiei?"

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Hiei answers Botan and it's neither what she expected nor what she wanted to hear from him. After Spirit World deem her safe to go to visit her friends, Botan goes around them and tries to make sense of a reality where Yukina makes amazing gravy, Keiko and Yusuke are still very much a couple, and Hiei is quite different to how she imagined him. **Chapter 9: I am Lost**


	9. I am Lost

**Last chapter: **Botan almost fell victim to the Lure again, but Ayame arrived with Kurama in the nick of time to save her. Kurama killed the Lure and back in Spirit World, Botan went to what she thought was a repeat of her ferry girl training, but instead found Hiei had been sent to counsel her following her experiences with the Lure. Botan confessed to Hiei that the one thing she wanted most from her hallucinations was him.

* * *

**Chapter 9: I am Lost**

"But… That can't ever be a reality, can it? You couldn't ever… You wouldn't ever want to… We won't ever be… Right? Right, Hiei?"

"I…"

"Hiei?"

Hiei breathed out four words, his voice sounding so unusual, Botan was unsure she had heard him correctly. He was still looking her directly in the eye, but he looked almost scared: it was a look she had never seen on his face before and could never have imagined ever seeing.

"I can't do this," he said again, this time his words undeniably clear. "This… I can't do this!"

Hiei moved away from her so quickly, Botan saw nothing more than a blur, as though he literally phased out of existence where he stood. Her hand was still hovering in the air, where, moments earlier, he had been holding it against his shoulder. Briefly, she felt the remaining warmth of his skin on hers: but the feeling faded quickly. She no longer felt restricted behind her desk, no longer felt the need to move away, and so she instead quietly sat down and relaxed into her place there. Her hands came to rest on the desk in front of her. She looked down at the hand that had been on Hiei's shoulder, moving her other hand over on top of it, taking hold of it in the same way he had when he had held her hand in place against his shoulder.

It felt different.

Hiei's hand had felt warm and rough, she had felt the frayed edges of bandaging around his palm. But, just as she was holding her left hand with her right, he had held her left hand with his right hand too. She was able to replicate the same way he had held her hand, move her own hand into the same position his had been in, placing all her fingers in all the same places his had been. She squeezed her hand slightly, and, for a moment, she wondered if it was real.

If she could do it to herself, maybe that was what had actually happened. Maybe she had been holding her own hand, and maybe she had imagined Hiei's presence. It had not exactly been a very satisfying situation to imagine sharing with Hiei, but the Lure had said anything she imagined was limited to what she knew, and maybe, because unsatisfying moments with Hiei were all she had ever really experienced, that was all she was capable of imagining.

Though when she had been under the thrall of the Lure, she had imagined being in a river with a naked Hiei, and also that he had climbed up a ladder behind her and been looking up her dress.

Botan bit her bottom lip as she felt that familiar rush in her chest at the thought of Hiei wilfully looking up her dress. She squeezed her hand tighter and squeezed her thighs together as an animalistic and illogical urge surged inside of her. She shivered involuntarily, becoming lost in the moment, lost in the idea of Hiei wanting to see her so badly that he would sneak a look at her that way.

"Are you cold?"

Botan shrieked and threw her hands apart, her chair and the desk rattling as her entire body jolted from the unpleasant shock she had received.

"You were shivering."

Ayame was leaning over her, looking at her in that expressionless, cold way she often did.

"Well that was the proverbial bucket of cold water I suppose I needed," Botan grumbled.

"You are cold?" Ayame asked her.

"No, I was just thinking," Botan said with a sigh.

"Well, perhaps that's something you should do some more of," Ayame replied. "I thought, after you were freed from the Lure, the best thing for you was for you to return to your duties, to be more grounded, to be reminded of who you are and where you belong. But that didn't work, since the first thing you did was abandon your duty to seek out the Lure."

Ayame shot Botan a harsh look and Botan slumped under it.

"Maybe a short break would serve you better," Ayame continued. "Maybe a short holiday, a break away from things, a chance to think – to really think – about what you did."

Botan looked up at Ayame, who had commenced pacing in front of her. Her hands were together and concealed beneath the sleeves of her kimono. Her steps were smooth, almost as though she was gliding back and forth. Her expression was controlled and flat, just like her voice when she spoke. She was everything a ferry girl was supposed to be and she made it look effortless.

"Don't you ever want something else?" Botan asked her quietly.

"Something else?" Ayame asked, looking down at her, her face still expressionless despite the hint of curiosity in her tone. "Like what?"

"Something more," Botan said. "Something that's just yours."

"Something more than the pride I feel from serving King Enma and Prince Koenma? Something more than the satisfaction I get from working hard for our world?"

Botan sighed and fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"There isn't anything better than that, Botan," Ayame told her. "Take a break. Take today off. Go wherever you want to go, see whoever you want to see and do whatever you want to do, and you'll see."

"See what?" Botan asked.

"That I'm right," Ayame replied.

"Aren't you always?" Botan groaned.

"You'll come back here tonight, and tomorrow morning, you'll return to your duties, and you'll remember that is your purpose."

"To serve King Enma and Prince Koenma."

"Yes."

"As the lowest ranking in this world."

"Yes."

"A mere servant."

"There's nothing "mere" about it."

"Collecting human souls for the benefit of someone who lives a life greater than me?"

"It's a noble role."

"But it has no real impact on the lives of the humans in the living world."

"It isn't meant to."

"Or anyone else."

"Who else would want to have an impact on?"

Botan shook her head.

"No-one, I suppose," she lied.

"Well then," Ayame said, with an air of finality. "I'll leave you to it. Take a day off, come back tonight, get a good night's sleep, then report for your duties in the morning."

"Okay," Botan agreed.

She watched Ayame leave the room before placing her hands on the desk and pushing herself up to her feet. She had no idea where she ought to go and what she should do: and so she resigned to go to the one place she always went to when nothing made sense to her.

* * *

"Oh hey, Botan!"

Botan smiled as Kuwabara peeked his head around the doorway in front of her.

"I heard about the Lure coming back," he said, sobering from his cheery greeting. "I heard Kurama took care of that darn monster."

"He killed it," Botan replied.

"Yeah, good," Kuwabara said, nodding his head.

Botan found herself unable to agree with him, as a large part of her wished the Lure was still alive, still around, still there for her to consult. She still felt that Kurama had overreacted by cutting off the demon's head. After all, Botan had only gone back to the Lure to ask it a question, not to become its victim. Again.

"Is Shizuru around?" Botan asked, trying to focus both herself and Kuwabara back onto the matter at hand.

"Is that Botan?" Yukina called from within the house.

Kuwabara looked back over his shoulder.

"Yeah Yukina my love, Botan came to see you!" he called back to her.

"No, Kuwabara," Botan began, shaking her head. "I came here to speak to Shizuru, I'm not really in the mood to speak to anyone else right now, I just–"

"Yukina was really upset when you said her gravy was bad."

Kuwabara had sounded vaguely sinister, and he was giving Botan a strange look.

"Invite her in, Kazuma!" Yukina called out.

"I really can't," Botan said, shaking her head. "I really just wanted to talk to Shizuru–"

Kuwabara grabbed Botan's arm and her words dissolved into a yelp as he pulled her over the threshold and into the house. The house was warm – almost uncomfortably so – and the air smelled divine. Kuwabara ushered her through to the dining room, where Yukina was serving up a meal to Kuwabara's father.

"Another guest, Kazuma?" the elder Kuwabara asked his son.

"Oh, no, I was just looking for Shizuru," Botan quickly said, before either Kuwabara or Yukina volunteered her to stay.

"She's at work," Kuwabara's father answered.

"Ah, of course," Botan agreed with a nod, before slowly gaining a frown. "Isn't it a little early for dinner?"

She glanced at a clock that told her it was half past ten in the morning.

"We're having brunch!" Yukina said cheerfully.

"At least try something, Botan," Kuwabara insisted.

"Here, try this!" Yukina said, scooping up a dumpling drenched in gravy and reaching her arm out towards Botan, almost pushing the spoon into her mouth before she had a chance to respond.

"Oh, okay!" Botan said, holding up a hand. "I'll try it."

She opened her mouth and allowed Yukina to feed her, tensing in anticipation of the worst: but shortly finding herself pleasantly surprised.

"Mm-mm, this is delicious, Yukina!" she said.

"Really?" Yukina asked. "You really mean it?"

"I really do," Botan said sincerely.

Inwardly, she was a little surprised that the gravy was so perfect, but, after a little further thought on the matter, she realised that the horrible gravy she had tasted had been part of the hallucination the Lure had made her experience, and, like everything else that had happened in her hallucination, it was the opposite of reality.

Still, she did find it odd that she had been able to so clearly taste and feel the gravy in her mouth in a mere hallucination. The hallucination appeared to have hijacked all of her senses. Literally and figuratively.

"It is lovely, Yukina," she insisted, trying to hide the fact that she was salivating after swallowing, the taste actually so good that she was sorely tempted to stay and join them for brunch. "But I really just need to find Shizuru."

"Yeah, she's at work," Kuwabara confirmed.

"Okay, thank you," Botan said to him. "And thank you for the offer Yukina. Maybe some other time?"

Yukina smiled sweetly and nodded her head. Botan bowed her head and politely said goodbye to everyone before making her exit. Once clear of the house, she took to her oar and flew off over the city. The first familiar landmark she passed was Kurama's house, where she slowed as she spotted movement in the back garden. Kurama was out tending the garden alongside his mother – who was, and probably always would be, the only human woman in his life. Botan smiled to herself and shook her head. She had thought there was something going on between Kurama and Keiko in her hallucination, but she had also suspected as much in real life, before she started her hallucination. She supposed some of the hallucination had merely been extensions of concepts she already believed or accepted to be true: Koenma had once told her that the best lie was made up mostly of the truth. The Lure had fooled her by making her hallucination real, by letting her see what she wanted to see as a reality: including that Hiei had feelings for her.

Botan sighed, flying around Keiko's house a few times before accepting that she was not at home. It was not that she was looking for Keiko as such, more that she just wanted to see what everyone else was up to, to reassure herself that everything the Lure had shown her was false. She shortly reached the block of flats Yusuke's mother lived in, bringing herself to the front door, which opened out onto a long balcony. She dismounted her oar and banished it before knocking on the door. She heard muffled voices inside the property, but otherwise got no response. She knocked again, this time only waiting a moment before opening the door and stepping inside.

"Hell-oh-oh?" she called out in a sing-song voice.

She stopped in the middle of the living room when she heard frantic shuffling sounds in the nearby bedroom. A moment later, Keiko stumbled out of the room, her hair ruffled around her head, one hand clutching her shirt, which appeared to be half unbuttoned, her other hand by her mouth. She dragged a thumb at one corner of her mouth before smiling at Botan through slightly puffy lips. Her face was flush and her eyes were gleaming.

"Keiko?" Botan said, tilting her head to one side.

"Hey Botan," Yusuke called out, stepping out of the bedroom. "Hey, maybe when you knock on a door, if nobody answers, don't just let yourself in."

He smirked at her and her eyes dropped, pausing for longer than she knew she ought to on his hands, barely holding his jeans closed over his crotch.

"Oh…" she said softly.

"I mean, unless you're the type that likes to watch," Yusuke added with a widening smirk.

"Yusuke!" Keiko yelped.

"She does spy on people," Yusuke said with a shrug. "Maybe she likes to watch."

"Yusuke, you're being disgusting!" Keiko wailed.

"I don't mind her watching if she wants to watch."

Keiko's jaw dropped and Botan spun on her heels, turning her back to them.

"Sorry to have barged in!" she blurted out. "I'll see you both another time!"

"Any time," Yusuke called after her.

"Would you behave yourself?" Keiko whispered to him.

He laughed at her but the sound was cut off as Botan fled the apartment, slamming the front door shut behind her. She summoned her oar, hopped onto it and shot off into the clouds.

Once she was high in the sky, above the cloud-line, alone, Botan found her eyes drifting downwards to the top of her oar. She gripped it in her hand, and, unbidden, found herself wondering if gripping the end of her oar like that felt anything like it might feel to grab onto an erect penis.

She knew exactly what Keiko had been doing to Yusuke when she had walked in on them. She knew exactly what it was, but that was the only thought she had ever given to it before that moment: it was something other people did. She had never thought about doing it herself. Not until that very moment.

She licked her lips in a subconscious gesture, her mind wandering away from anything logical. She found herself thinking about that idea she liked so well – the idea of Hiei sitting in a chair, while she took of all of her clothes, bared her body to his appreciating eyes – but this time the little fantasy continued. This time she imagined herself kneeling down, naked, before Hiei, who smiled at her in a dark and yet sensual way, before standing up in front of her. He unbuckled the belts of his pants and she moved her face closer as he began to open his pants.

Botan screamed as she spiralled out of control and began to freefall through the clouds. She barely held onto her oar with one hand until it was torn from her grasp as she crashed into a tall tree. The tree, being barren of foliage, as it was still January, offered no cushioning as she fell through, onto and around its hard, cold branches. She finally came to a stop, her toes mere inches from the ground, her clothing so tangled in the barren branches that it had halted her descent.

The tree was on the edge of an outdoor food market, and every person present had stopped what they were doing to stare at her.

Botan cleared her throat and untangled herself, landing a little awkwardly. She then stood up, brushed piece of bark from her clothing, picked a few twigs out of her ponytail, and then barely caught her oar as it fell towards her head. She nodded at the people nearest her before walking forwards in a straight line, into the midst of shoppers at the market. She kept going until she reached a stall, keeping her eyes on the man standing behind the stall, who was staring back at her blankly.

"I'll take this," she said as she fumbled around, keeping her eyes on the man in front of her.

Her hand held out the first thing it picked up, and the man took it from her, before placing it on a scale. He told her a price and she held out some coins towards him.

"That's it?" he asked.

"Yes, and you can just keep the change," Botan replied.

"You just want this?" he asked. "Nothing else?"

"Yes, thank you!" Botan said sharply, pushing the coins into his hand and snatching her purchase back from him. "Is there something funny about a lady dropping in to buy just one c–"

Botan stopped short as her eyes landed on the cucumber in her hand. She felt her mind start to drift back to the place it had been right before she lost control of her oar.

"Shut up!" she snapped at the silent man before her before spinning on her heels and hurriedly moving away from the stall.

"Smooth, Botan."

"What?"

Botan kept walking, but turned her head to see Shizuru falling into step beside her. She sighed in relief at the sight of not only a familiar face, but the very one she had been looking for.

"What's the cucumber for?" Shizuru asked. "A very basic salad?"

Botan looked at the cucumber again before turning to Shizuru again. She looked so calm and cool, dressed in pressed tan pants, a white blouse and tan waistcoat, her luscious long hair hanging loose, one hand in her pants pocket, the other carrying a bag of vegetables she had bought from another stall.

"Shizuru?" Botan began slowly. "Have you ever…?"

She moved the cucumber towards her friend demonstratively.

"Bought a single cucumber at a food market?" Shizuru asked, casting her a sideward glance as they walked together. "No, can't say I have."

"No, that's not what I meant," Botan said.

"Have I ever eaten a cucumber?" Shizuru tried.

"No, I mean, have you ever, you know…?"

Botan opened her mouth and hovered the end of the cucumber in front of her face.

"You know…" she tried. "Put one in your mouth before?"

"Yes, Botan," Shizuru replied. "I have eaten cucumber before."

"No, that's not what I mean either!" Botan wailed in frustration.

Shizuru smiled and made a small noise of amusement in the back of her throat.

"Honey, I know exactly what you mean," she said as Botan looked at her.

"You do?" Botan asked. "Oh good."

"But I'm not gonna answer you," Shizuru said.

"What?"

"Not unless you ask me properly. We're both grown women, Botan. Ask me properly, or let it go."

Botan stopped walking, but Shizuru continued on, again making that small noise of amusement.

"Shizuru Kuwabara, you are so mean to me!" Botan cried, hurrying after her and slapping her arm.

Shizuru smiled, putting a hand on Botan's head and pushing her slightly. Botan stumbled and pouted at her.

"You're so cruel!" she complained.

"But I'm honest," Shizuru reminded her.

"Yes, I know," Botan said with a sigh. "That was why I wanted to speak to you."

"You came out here, fell through a tree, made everyone at the food market think you're the sort of girl who likes her dildos to be biodegradable, just to ask me if I've ever "eaten a cucumber"?"

Botan's face dropped and Shizuru laughed openly.

"Come on sweetheart, I'll buy you dinner," she offered.

Botan looked up at her curiously.

"I mean unless you'd rather just enjoy that cucumber," Shizuru added with a smile.

"I only bought it to look natural," Botan said.

"Very natural," Shizuru replied.

"Stop teasing me, Shizuru!" Botan moaned. "I just got distracted, and I fell, and this was the first thing I found."

Shizuru smirked but said no more.

"I'm confused," Botan said with a sigh.

Shizuru looked down at the cucumber in the ferry girl's hand and Botan shook her head.

"I'm serious, Shizuru!" she protested.

"Okay, calm down, sweetie," Shizuru replied. "We can talk."

Botan nodded.

"It's about what I saw when the Lure… You know… Got me," she began. "It showed me things that I wanted."

"I think that's how it works with Lures," Shizuru commented.

"No, but it didn't just show me things that I know I want, it also showed me things I didn't know I wanted," Botan countered.

"Such as?"

"Well… Part of it was how real it all was. It felt so real. I could feel everything, I could smell the scents around me, I could hear everyone's voices, I could see details of faces and scenery like…"

"Like what?"

"Like it was more real than… Than my reality, before that point. It felt so real, and everything it made me feel was so real."

"Are you disappointed you woke up?"

Botan stopped walking and turned to Shizuru in alarm, but her friend continued moving. After a few flustered moments, Botan hurried to catch up to Shizuru.

"Why would I be – I mean, why would I – I just–"

"It's okay if you are."

"It is?"

"Sure."

Botan and Shizuru walked along for some time in silence, as Botan mulled over the revelation she had just had. She was disappointed when she woke up. The real world was disappointing. She had gone back to the Lure because she wanted to go back to her other world, her illusion, the place that felt more real than reality. She wanted to go back to the place where she was the hero of the story, where her existence was an adventure, where what she did mattered.

She wanted to go back to a place where Hiei was attracted to her.

"Did they have movies as good as this in your little dream world?" Shizuru asked, bringing Botan out of her thoughts and back to the present.

They had arrived back at the Kuwabara house and Shizuru was showing Botan a video titled "The Evil Eye".

"No movies in my hallucination," Botan commented, accepting the video from her.

"Then you're definitely better here than you were there," Shizuru replied. "Gimme that, I'll put it in the cooler for you."

Botan felt Shizuru pull the cucumber from her hand, only then remembering that she had picked it up in the first place. Her attention was too focused on the video in her hand to care. Shizuru usually preferred horror films about evil spirits or monsters, but, despite the movie title implying it was some sort of horror film, the cover of the video cassette case defied that. It showed a smoky city street, at night, the smoke illuminated by an orange streetlight and the glowing red rear light of the motorbike that featured prominently in the picture. There was only one person in the picture, and that was the man sitting on the motorbike, in a black silk suit, with white gloves, a white shirt and a long white scarf he had wrapped around his neck twice, yet was still long enough to hang down over his chest. He was looking out from the video cover in a slightly side-on pose, a hint of a sly smirk on his face. His eyes were looking directly out from the cover. Looking directly at her.

He looked a lot like Hiei.

"Come on girl, this one's a classic," Shizuru said suddenly, snatching the video from Botan's hands.

"Oh!" Botan yelped, trying to grab it back a moment too late.

Shizuru kept going, opening the case and putting the video into the video player. Botan looked about herself, realising then that not only were they back at Shizuru's house, but they were further up in Kuwabara's bedroom.

"I don't have a VHS player in my room," Shizuru said, as though reading her thoughts.

Botan nodded, and as Shizuru came over to her side, Botan started towards the television, where Shizuru had placed down the empty video case.

"Sit down!" Shizuru said, grabbing Botan's sleeve and hauling her back.

Botan yelped in protest, but had fallen into a sitting position at Shizuru's side, on the edge of Kuwabara's bed, and the television illuminated.

"I just wanted to look at the video case again," Botan said.

"Just watch the film," Shizuru replied. "There's nothing on the cover that's half as good as the film itself."

"Oh," Botan said, nodding numbly. "O-okay."

Shizuru shuffled backwards until her back was resting against the wall. She then crossed her legs in front of her, on the surface of Kuwabara's bed. Botan crawled over to her side, sitting down with her back against the wall and her legs tucked up at her side. Shizuru smiled at her and put an arm around her shoulders, letting Botan rest her head on her shoulder.

"Don't worry kid, this one's not too scary," Shizuru assured her.

Botan had heard those exact words before and been left having nightmares for days, so she was less than convinced, and remained where she was, a position that made her feel a little safer. The movie started out at night-time, the landscape illuminated by the blue light of a full moon. A slick, winding road cut through the landscape, and the camera moved towards it as the motorbike from the cover of the video came into view in the distance. The motorbike was moving quickly, but it slowed as the camera neared it, eventually coming to a stop. The rider was not wearing a helmet, and was wearing the same clothes he had been wearing on the cover of the video. His head was down, but as the camera moved around to one side of the bike, he dismounted his vehicle and stood up, looking directly out from the TV screen, directly at Botan, as she sat cuddled next to Shizuru.

"You know they say the best lie is based largely on the truth."

Botan gulped. He even sounded a little like Hiei, only his voice was lower and had a vague edge of urgency to it.

"I suppose you think this seems normal?" he asked.

The camera was slowly zooming in towards his face. Botan had never seen a human actor with red eyes before, but she supposed his eye colour was false, an effect for the movie: it was called "The Evil Eye" after all.

"It's almost mundane," he said. "But I suppose that's how it gets you."

Botan frowned, something about his words sounding strangely off to her. Just as she was about to lift her head from Shizuru's shoulder and lean closer to the television, she was jolted back to reality as the man on the screen suddenly stumbled back a step, as though he had been shot in the shoulder. He hesitated, standing at an angle, his head lowered, before slowly righting his position, and slowly lifting his head. He smiled, his lips parting to show his teeth, and Botan's jaw silently fell as blood burgeoned up at the corners of his mouth and spilled out down his chin, in two deep red lines.

"This isn't fun for me," he said, the movement of his lips as he spoke smearing blood over his teeth. "But I'm still here. And I know you can hear me."

Botan felt a prickling feeling in her arms and legs, that feeling she got when she sat in an awkward position for too long and needed to move, but she was too captivated by the face – the face that looked increasingly like Hiei's – that was staring out from the television set, so captivated that she was frozen in place.

"This is only going to get harder, for you and for me, if you don't listen to me," he said.

It felt as though he was talking directly to her.

"You need to end this," he said. "And only you can end this. You start it, and you end it. It doesn't matter what you think, or what anyone else might have told you. You control this. And you can end this. You just have to wake up."

"What?" Botan muttered.

"Wake up."

Botan felt the air grow thick around her, damp and cloying, like it had when she had first found the Lure.

"Wake up, Botan!"

The voice calling to her sounded distorted, and no longer so much like Hiei's.

"Come on Botan, wake up!"

It sounded like Kuwabara's voice.

"Just wake up, Botan! Come on!"

Botan blinked and everything changed.

The world around her became blurry, the air felt much colder, almost as though she was outside suddenly.

"Come on, Botan! Wake up!"

Botan blinked and suddenly she was outside, somewhere dark, somewhere cold – so cold, it felt like winter – and she could almost make out Kuwabara, standing in front of her. He was below her, as though she was on her oar ahead of him. He looked distraught.

"Wake up! Wake up, Botan!"

Botan blinked and everything changed.

"Come on, you can't stay here all night, Botan."

Botan looked up at Kuwabara, leaning over her. She looked at him for a long, long moment, before realising that she had been asleep, at Shizuru's side. She was still in Kuwabara's bedroom, with Shizuru. The movie they had been watching must have finished, as the television was showing static. She turned to look at Shizuru, who had her head tilted back against the wall, and was apparently in a deep sleep, one so deep, even her raucous brother's attempts to awaken the ferry girl had not roused her.

"Come on, I'll let Shizuru sleep in my bed tonight," Kuwabara said.

Botan opened her mouth to protest, but before she could speak, Kuwabara had grabbed her arms and pulled her off the bed and to her feet. Once on her feet, she forgot about arguing with Kuwabara as her eyes landed on the open video case, still sitting on top of the television. She moved over to it, reaching a hand out to it as she heard Kuwabara moving his sister down onto the bed behind her. She picked up the video case and slowly turned it over. The picture on the front was almost as she remembered it, showing a motorbike on a smoky city street, but the rider was gone, and the title of the movie was not what Botan remembered it to be.

"Masterbike…?" she whispered. "But…"

"Come on, Botan."

Botan turned around to see that Kuwabara had somehow managed to settle Shizuru into his bed. She nodded and followed him out of the room.

"Goodnight, Botan," he said.

"Goodnight…" she said faintly as he walked briskly away from her. "Kuwabara…"

Botan felt a little confused, but reasoned that she must have been dreaming, and so let herself out of the house and mounted her oar, taking herself back to Spirit World.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan finds Hiei in the living world and he seems distant. Botan thinks he is trying to push her away because he doesn't have feelings for her, but their mutual friends tell her otherwise. **Chapter 10: Don't You Know**


	10. Don't You Know

**Last chapter: **Hiei fled when Botan asked him if he thought they could ever be together, and although it was disappointing to hear, Botan soon forgot about it as she explored the living world, where she discovered Yukina is indeed an amazing cook and Yusuke and Keiko are very much still a couple. After almost barging in on Keiko and Yusuke in the middle of a certain act, Botan began wondering what it might feel like to perform that same act with Hiei. She then stumbled into Shizuru, who took her home to watch a movie that ended up being spooky in all the wrong kind of ways.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Don't You Know**

As Botan flew back into Spirit World, she saw a familiar sight: all the lights in all the windows belonging to the ferry girls were out except Ayame's. Botan was not really sure why she had decided to approach the temple from the angle that she had, and, as she slowly drifted by Ayame's window, she regretted her choice all the more, seeing the dark-haired ferry girl glaring out at her and slowly shaking her head. The sight reminded Botan that Ayame had told her she could only have the one day off from her duties, and in the morning, she would need to return to work.

Return to her regular routine like nothing had happened. Like she had not been to another world. Like she was just another ferry girl.

Botan was sullen as she readied herself for bed, eventually crawling under her sheets and remaining there, entirely underneath the sheets, away from the world outside: the world that she almost resented, as it fell so short of her expectations, so far from what she wished it could be, so far from what it had been in her illusions.

"Botan, wake up."

Botan froze, huddled up beneath her bedsheets.

"Wake up, Botan!"

Botan squeezed herself into a tighter ball defensively.

"Wake up!"

Botan shrieked as she was suddenly blinded by light and cold. She blinked to clear the haze from her eyes, finding herself still huddled into a ball on top of her bed, but it was suddenly daylight in her room, and Ayame was standing over her, clutching the bedsheets she had just torn from Botan.

"It's morning already?" Botan moaned.

"Yes," Ayame replied. "Did you enjoy your day off?"

"Day off…?"

The day had passed by so quickly, it hardly felt like a day off to Botan, but she supposed it was as much as she was going to get.

"Are you ready to return to your duties?" Ayame asked.

Botan rose up to her knees, sitting on her heels, she looked up at Ayame sadly as her colleague handed her a long, long list of souls she would have to collect that day.

"There's a bit of a backlog," Ayame explained as Botan took the note from her hand. "Because you were given the day off yesterday, and the day before… Well, you were incapacitated the day before."

"I was trapped by the Lure," Botan said, looking down at the list as she spoke. "Why don't you just come out and say it?"

Botan snapped her head up at the end of her question, but Ayame had gone. Botan looked about herself, partly expecting Ayame to reappear, despite her room being small and there clearly being no corner she could have disappeared behind. Once she was sure she was indeed alone, Botan sighed, and set about getting herself ready for what was clearly going to be a very long day. She went about her usual morning routine without much thought, as far as taking herself into the main hall of the temple before deciding that she lacked the energy to fight her way through the throngs of frantic bodies racing around there. She instead turned and headed back to her room – ignoring how tempting her bed looked as she passed it – and threw open her bedroom window, flying out that way. She did not even bother to close it behind her.

Botan kept her eyes on her list as she flew. Her first target was a place she regularly went to, a place where many people died. As she passed through the portal to the living world, still not looking where she was going, still not needing to, she began checking the rest of the list. It was not the first time she had gone to that exact location to collect a soul in the morning only to end up going back a couple of hours later for another one. If there was a chance she could multitask and collect two souls at once, she absolutely intended to. The list was so long.

At the same moment that Botan realised there was only one soul to be collected from her destination, the creeping concern rose in her mind that there was an important reason why the place she was heading to was somewhere she often went to collect souls. There was a very important reason why humans died there a lot. Something she really felt she ought to remember. Something she felt was probably going to influence how she collected the soul.

"I thought I might find you here."

Botan slowed to a halt, hovering over the dead body she had been about to attend to, looking over it at the figure standing on the other side of it.

"I took him back here as quickly as I could, but he had some sort of human bodily failure after seeing Demon World."

It was the place where an inconsistent tear existed between the human and demon worlds: humans often died there because they passed through the tear and either the shock of what they saw, the foul atmosphere or a stray demon killed them.

"You need to forget everything that has happened lately and move forward."

Hiei gave Botan a harsh look and she slid from her oar, banishing it.

"The Lure is gone now, and anything you saw while it was controlling you wasn't real," he continued. "You need to move forward now."

Botan nodded.

"Move forward," he said again.

"I am moving forward," Botan replied. "I'm back to work, and I'm… Very busy…"

Botan waved her long task list in the air to demonstrate her point.

"Good," he said. "That's how it should be. You collect souls for Spirit World."

"And you… Bring carcasses to the living world…" Botan said, a frown appearing on her face as she spoke. "That came out wrong. I wasn't accusing you of killing this man."

"It doesn't matter," Hiei said sternly. "You do your work for your world, and I do my work for my world. That's how it is. That's how it should be."

Botan felt that he was trying to imply something, and, as she looked at the awkward, tense way he was holding himself, she remembered their last conversation, where she had asked him if he thought they could be a romantic couple, and he had basically run away from her.

"Yes," she said mechanically. "This is how it is, how it should be."

"Yes," he said.

"Yes," she confirmed.

"We understand each other."

"Yes."

Botan nodded and Hiei turned and leapt through the tear, back to his own world. Botan hesitated for a moment, watching the space where he had disappeared, before looking down at the body before her. The man's spirit was nowhere to be seen, which was odd, though in some cases, the spirit was a little delayed in leaving the body, so perhaps this was one of those times she would have to wait. It never took more than a few seconds to happen.

But Botan lacked the patience to wait that long.

As she flew away from the scene, Botan thought she heard the man's spirit crying out, but she ignored it and flew on, determined to just do one more thing, run one more personal errand, before she fully returned to her duties as a ferry girl.

Before long, she found what she had been looking for, and, after a few minutes of following above a car driving along the motorway, it turned off, and took a familiar route, eventually pulling into a small car park outside of a block of small apartments by the edge of a sprawling university campus.

"Keiko," Botan said, landing beside the car.

Keiko yelped and clasped a hand to her chest, almost falling back into the driver's seat she had just stood up from.

"Botan!" she said. "You startled me!"

"Keiko, I need to talk to you about something," Botan said, ignoring Keiko's state of alarm.

"Is it about Yusuke?" Keiko asked. "Is he okay? Is there another dangerous demon in this world?"

"No, it's nothing like that," Botan assured her. "It's about Hiei."

"Hiei?"

Keiko's top lip curled when she said his name, and she slammed her car door shut a little more forcefully than seemed necessary.

"Yes," Botan continued regardless. "I think I might have… Put him off."

"Put him off?" Keiko echoed. "Off of what? I didn't know he liked anything that he could be put off of."

"Well, I don't necessary know that it was something he liked," Botan qualified.

"Well, I think you know Hiei's my least favourite of Yusuke's friends," Keiko tersely replied, folding her arms and thinning her eyes critically.

"Really?" Botan responded. "Hiei's your least favourite? You like him less than Hokushin, Yusuke's friend who eats humans?"

"Hiei kidnapped me and tried to turn me into a demon, Botan. It's great that nobody else ever remembers that, but it's not exactly something I've been able to just forget about."

"I haven't forgotten! I remember that Hiei attacked you with the shadow sword and tried to turn you into a demon."

"So if the thing you've put Hiei off of is me, he was never exactly a fan of mine in the first place."

"No, it's not you, Keiko. It's me. I think I've put Hiei off of me."

"What?"

"I know it's hard to imagine, but I think maybe Hiei…"

"You think maybe Hiei what?"

"I thought that maybe he…"

"Likes you?"

Botan froze and Keiko smiled.

"Come on Botan, you must know he likes you," Keiko said.

Botan slowly shook her head.

"Of course he does!" Keiko continued. "That time he kidnapped me and tried to turn me into a demon, wasn't he talking you telepathically the whole time?"

"Well, yes," Botan began. "But I don't see how that means that he likes me, per se…"

"And he's spoken to you telepathically a bunch of other times too, right?" Keiko asked.

"Yes," Botan said slowly. "He has…"

Keiko shrugged.

"He's never spoken to me telepathically," she said. "Or Shizuru or Yukina."

"Are you saying him talking to me telepathically means he likes me?" Botan asked.

"Like I said," Keiko replied. "Only you. Never me, Shizuru or Yukina."

"Well, it wouldn't be very appropriate for him to talk to Yukina telepathically if that was something he only did with girls he likes!"

"Why not?"

Botan's face slowly fell as she realised her blunder: Keiko still did not know that Yukina was Hiei's sister.

"Because Yukina is Kuwabara's girlfriend," she said carefully. "And knowing how Kuwabara and Hiei are so often at loggerheads, it would be just awful if they ended up fighting over the same girl."

"Well they very nearly did, right?" Keiko replied with a smirk.

"Wh-what?" Botan echoed.

"Didn't Kuwabara have a crush on you before he met Yukina?" Keiko asked.

"Yes, I suppose he did."

"So before we all met Yukina, Kuwabara and Hiei did both like the same girl."

"What? No!"

Keiko laughed.

"Come on Botan," she said. "You have to admit, in his own weird, repressed, moody kind of way, Hiei does sort of have a crush on you."

Botan wanted to be suspicious – hearing someone tell her that Hiei had feelings for her sounded too much like what she had experienced during her hallucination, under the control of the Lure – but Keiko was the last person she had suspected would tell her anything about Hiei, so she held back her initial reservation.

"You really think so?" she asked instead.

"Yes, I do," Keiko replied. "Why? You didn't know already?"

"Well, no actually," Botan said meekly.

"Really?" Keiko echoed.

She looked at Botan as though the conversation they were having ought to be a casual and obvious one, but to Botan it still felt odd.

"You're not creeped out by it, are you?" Keiko asked her.

"No," Botan replied, shaking her head. "Why would I be?"

"Well, we are talking about Hiei here," Keiko said with a wry smile. "And he is a little creepy."

Botan forced a laugh when Keiko gave a small chuckle, hoping that her response sounded more natural to her friend than it did to her own ears.

"Don't worry about it too much, Botan," Keiko assured her. "I figure he's probably had a crush on you since he met you, and he's never acted on it before now, so I doubt he'll suddenly act on it now."

"Oh, yes, of course!" Botan said, waving a hand and trying her best to appear casual. "I'm not worried."

"Okay good," Keiko said with a smile. "Does that answer what you came here to ask me?"

Botan nodded, though she had started to lose focus on her present moment. Keiko made a good point: if Hiei really had feelings for her that had lasted for several years, he had never shown it before, why would he show it now? Maybe he had feelings for her but could not bring himself to actually be in a relationship with her. Maybe that was why he had never acted on his feelings. That seemed to be what he had told her when she had met him by the dead body she was meant to be attending to: he seemed to be trying to tell her that because they came from, lived in and had obligations to two different worlds, they could never be together.

"Okay, well, it was nice talking, but I have to go," Keiko said, hoisting her bag onto her back. "See you around, Botan."

Keiko started to walk away, but Botan spun around and grabbed her arm, halting her after just a few steps.

"Keiko…" she said slowly. "Just out of curiosity, just for fun, if I wanted Hiei to tell me how he feels, how do you think I should, you know, go about that."

Keiko searched Botan's eyes for a long, quiet moment, as though trying to decipher exactly what she had meant.

"Are you-are you joking?" she eventually asked in a quiet, unsure voice.

"Yes," Botan mechanically replied. "I was just asking… For fun."

"Oh, okay, thank goodness!" Keiko said with a small laugh. "I thought for a moment you were being serious. Can you imagine?"

Botan forced laughter along with Keiko's.

"But how would I get him to admit it, do you think?"

Keiko stopped laughing immediately.

"Just for fun," Botan quickly added. "Just… Hypothetically. Just a fun game, a game us girls play, where we pretend… What we would do if an unlikely boy… Liked one of us...?"

"Oh, okay," Keiko said, smiling and turning fully towards Botan. "Yeah, I guess that could be fun."

"Yes, fun," Botan said, smiling as naturally as she could manage. "So… What do you think?"

"About Hiei?" Keiko asked.

"Yes."

"Well, I guess if it was me, I'd probably just flirt with his best friend and see if it got a rise out of him."

Botan paused long enough to imagine herself awkwardly flirting with Kurama and Yusuke – picturing that Yusuke would just make fun of her and so that would be a failure and Kurama would likely politely brush her off the same way he did with the human girls who flirted with him – and then she thought that she might even have to flirt with one of Hiei's friends from Demon World to have any real effect on him. Like Mukuro.

"This is getting weird," she concluded aloud.

"This game was your idea, Botan," Keiko reminded her.

"What else could I do?" Botan asked. "Other than… Flirting with one of his friends…"

Keiko shrugged.

"Tell him you like one of his friends?" she offered.

"Are all your ideas based on using someone else to make him jealous?" Botan asked.

Keiko smiled.

"It's a strategy that's always worked for me," she said.

Botan nodded.

"What do you think Shizuru would say?" she asked.

"I don't know," Keiko replied. "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

"I…"

Botan touched a finger to her chin and cast her eyes downwards. She wanted to know what Shizuru would suggest, but for some reason, she could not bring herself to go back to see Shizuru. She could not really fathom why, but she felt like Shizuru might not want to see her. She thought it might have something to do with something she had said or done the night before, but when she tried to think about it, she could not really remember much about the night beyond meeting Shizuru at a food market and then going back to her house with her. Botan did remember that she had bought a cucumber at one of the food stalls, and Shizuru had mocked her for it, and when they had gotten back to Shizuru's house, she had said she put the cucumber in the fridge. It was probably still there, Botan had forgotten about it, and had certainly not taken it with her when she left. She hoped Kuwabara did not find it and think anything odd about her.

"I really have to go, Botan," Keiko said, interrupting Botan's thoughts.

"Oh, yes, of course," Botan agreed.

"I'm sure you do too," Keiko added.

Botan nodded, stuffing her task list – which had been sliding out of her sleeve – back up her sleeve absentmindedly.

"Goodbye, Botan."

"Goodbye, Keiko."

Botan summoned her oar and took to the skies, heading off in the direction of the Kuwabara family house.

* * *

Botan was a little surprised to find Shizuru actively gardening – it was not something she had ever seen her friend do before – but the surprise was dampened slightly when she spotted Kurama lending a hand. Banishing her oar, Botan continued on foot, through the gate and into the back garden of the Kuwabaras' house.

"Are you alright there?" Kurama asked Shizuru.

"I'm fine," she replied, sounding both less than fine and irritated that he had asked her.

"That must be heavy," Kurama commented.

Shizuru was balancing what looked like the trunk of a tree on her right shoulder, and it did look like holding it there was taking its toll on her.

"It's been a long time," Kurama added. "Maybe we should consider getting a tri–"

"I said I'm fine, Kurama," Shizuru cut him off harshly. "I'll hold it as long as I have to. Let me worry about this, you worry about getting them all out of here."

"Alright, but if you need a break–"

"Back off, Kurama. I mean it."

Kurama nodded and returned to his task of pulling weeds from a flowerbed. His task did look like a testing one – with it being the start of a particularly warm summer, the blooms were plentiful and the plants were densely packed, and finding the weeds and successfully removing them looked like it required some degree of patience.

"Yeah, my arms are tired, okay?" Shizuru said suddenly. "But whose fault do you think that is?"

Botan slowed her pace, frowning slightly when Kurama did not respond to her question, continuing quietly about his work. When Shizuru said no more either, Botan quickened her pace, stopping in front of Kurama and close to Shizuru.

"Hello Shizuru!" she greeted her friend. "Hello Kurama!"

"Hey Botan," Shizuru answered her.

Botan blinked at her friend before turning her head to look down at Kurama. He kept his head down and continued about his task, as though lost in his actions, oblivious to her presence: which was odd, because Kurama was never usually oblivious to anything.

"He won't hear you," Shizuru said. "Probably best just to leave him, he's got a difficult enough job to do, and he's probably the only one patient enough to do it."

"I suppose…" Botan said, giving Kurama one last curious look before turning back to Shizuru.

As she turned back to Shizuru, the light changed, as though the sun had just come out from behind a cloud. The garden – and Shizuru – became bathed in golden sunlight, and, to confirm her assumption, Botan began to feel the warmth of the sun on her body. Shizuru put down the tree she was holding and stepped closer to Botan.

"What brings you here, sweetie?" she asked with a lop-sided smirk. "Did you come to get your cucumber back?"

"What?" Botan yelped.

"Don't worry, I didn't let anyone else get their hands on it," Shizuru said.

Shizuru walked past Botan and started back towards the house. Botan turned and followed after her, holding up a finger as she walked.

"I really don't care about the cucumber, Shizuru!" she whined.

"Are you sure?" Shizuru asked as she stepped inside the house.

"Yes!" Botan moaned, following her inside.

Botan followed Shizuru into the kitchen, where there was a wide window that overlooked the back garden. Brilliant sunshine from outside had created a slanted rectangle of light in the approximate shape of the window across the floor and the far wall of the kitchen. With the sun shining directly through the glass, it was actually warmer in the kitchen than it had been outside. The closer Botan moved to the window, the warmer she felt. She felt that her kimono was too tight and restrictive in such weather, but before she could give the matter too much thought, she noticed something sparkling in the middle of the window.

"What's that?" she asked, reaching out towards it.

"It's a sun-catcher," Shizuru casually replied.

"Sun-catcher?"

Botan shuffled closer to the kitchen worktops and leaned over them to reach for the sparkling object. It had clearly been hung up by a member of the statuesque Kuwabara family, as she could barely reach it. She had to strain against the worktops, against her kimono, and stretch her arm up and outwards to reach for the spinning, gleaming object. After some effort on her part, she managed to catch it in her hands, finding that it was a circle of coloured glass that was the size of the palm of her hand.

"It's the all-seeing eye," Shizuru commented behind her.

Botan turned her hand around and looked at the object. It was just a circle of white glass with a purple circle in the middle, with a smaller black circle in the middle of the purple one. She had seen similar things before at the international market Keiko sometimes liked to shop at. It was meant to be a crude representation of an eye, and for some reason, Botan found herself staring into it.

And staring into the black circle, the pupil of the "eye" as it were, Botan felt herself get colder. The light around her dimmed – as though another large cloud had moved over the sun, blocking out the warming, illuminating light it had been providing moments earlier. Botan slowly lifted her eyes from the object in her hand to the window beyond it. The garden outside looked duller again – almost grey without the golden sunlight to colour it – and Kurama had stood up from his onerous weeding task. He was looking in the general direction of the house, but was not looking directly at Botan. He looked worried and tired.

Botan looked down at the glass circle in her hand again. She slowly became aware of a feeling of pain in her hand: but it was not her own pain. It was the sort of pain she felt coming from someone else. It was the feeling she got when she placed her hand onto a wound to heal it. The pain was not her own. It was coming from the object in her hand. At the same moment Botan felt something warm and wet on her palm she quickly released the glass circle, sending it into a spin. It clinked softly against the window a few times, but Botan's attention was focused on her hand. There was blood on the palm of her hand.

Botan looked at the red mark on her hand for a long moment before wiping her hand onto her kimono over her thigh. She then looked down at her hand again, finding that she had successfully wiped away most of the blood, just small amounts of it remaining in the creases of her palms. She felt no pain and saw no injury, and again her mind drifted back to the fact that it had felt as though the glass decoration was the thing in pain and not her. She looked up at the spinning disc, watching it as it slowed to a halt. Before it had stopped, she could already see that it was smeared with blood. It eventually stopped spinning, but swayed from side to side for a little while, during which Botan heard blood drip from it. She looked down at the windowsill, seeing a small puddle of blood there, that was dripping over the edge, down the tiled wall, over the edge of the kitchen sink and into the sink itself.

Botan followed the trail of blood back up to its source, where she found the glass decoration had stopped still, the eye looking directly out at her. It was bleeding from the black dot in the very centre of it. And Botan thought she knew why. She turned her head sharply to her left, where she saw a set of knives in a wooden block on the kitchen counter.

"Did you stab…?" she asked, turning to Shizuru.

Shizuru did not answer her, as though she had not even heard the question. Botan turned back to the knives. She had never noticed them there before. They looked incredibly lethal. The black handles were the only parts visible, the blades embedded into the wooden display, but even the handles were metallic, gleaming and looked sharp.

"Didn't you come here to ask me something, Botan?"

Botan moved her eyes to Shizuru upon her question.

"You wanted to ask me something, right?" Shizuru pressed.

"Yes, I did," Botan replied. "It was about…"

Botan turned back to the block of knives. It was just a block of knives, much like one any kitchen in any human household might have. She turned to the window, watching as the sun came out again, illuminating the garden once more in glorious golden light. Her view of it was unobscured, the window free of any distractions, just a plain, open, wide pane of glass, with nothing else across or over it.

"Is it about Hiei again?" Shizuru asked.

"Maybe," Botan said, turning to face her. "How did you know?"

Shizuru smiled.

"Seems like you don't think about anything else lately," she replied, holding up a cucumber in one hand.

"Shizuru, that's not fair!" Botan wailed.

"I'm right though, right?" Shizuru asked.

Botan balled her hands into fists at her sides and pursed her lips.

"Yes," she tightly replied.

"So what is it this time?" Shizuru asked.

"I just wanted to know what you thought…"

Botan trailed off, her mind momentarily going blank, before one single thought surfaced, and overtook her entire mind.

"You gave me advice about Hiei before," she said slowly.

"Yeah," Shizuru agreed.

"I asked you what I should do, because I'd found out he had feelings for me," Botan continued. "And you told me I didn't have to do anything, and that was really good advice."

"Are you saying I don't usually give good advice?"

"No, but that particular piece of advice was fake."

"What?"

Botan paused. That particular piece of advice, that particular conversation with Shizuru, had been fake, a part of the hallucination she had experienced whilst under control of the Lure. It had been fake, yet it had felt real. That piece of advice was something Botan could genuinely imagine Shizuru saying to her. Had she imagined that conversation? She must have: it had fallen right in the middle of her time as a captive of the Lure.

"What would you tell me to do if I told you I found out Hiei has feelings for me, and I don't know how to react to it?" she asked Shizuru, giving her a hard look.

"Does Hiei have feelings for you?" Shizuru asked.

"Doesn't he?" Botan countered. "Keiko said – no – wait – just answer my question. What would you tell me to do?"

Shizuru shrugged.

"I wouldn't tell you to do anything," she said. "You don't need to do anything just because someone likes you. Not unless you like him back of course."

Botan nodded.

"Okay," she said. "Now what would you tell me to do if I told you Hiei does have feelings for me, but he won't admit it, and I need to make him admit it."

"I'd tell you maybe you need to slow down there," Shizuru replied. "If he's not admitting anything, you can't know for sure how he feels. Not unless he's made it really, really obvious to you."

"Right…"

"You could just be projecting. Two of your best girlfriends are dating demons. Maybe you just want to be part of the pack, did you ever think of that?"

"Two of my best girlfriends? Is there something you're not telling me, Shizuru?"

"No. Keiko is dating Yusuke – a demon – and Kazuma is dating Yukina – a demon."

Botan took a moment to register that Shizuru was joking, but even when she realised as much, she could not bring herself to laugh.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Shizuru asked her. "You seem kinda agitated."

"I'm just…" Botan began. "I just got confused, is all. Just when I saw those knives."

Botan waved a hand in the direction of the block of knives she had been distracted by earlier. Shizuru followed the direction of her hand, before shaking her head and meeting Botan's eyes again.

"What knives?" she asked.

Botan turned sharply, at first not seeing the wooden block of knives that had been sitting on the kitchen worktop. She turned around to face the window again, looking up and down the length of the kitchen worktop: but the block of knives was nowhere to be seen.

"There was a block of knives here," she said. "I saw it when I was looking at the…"

Botan looked up at the window before her. Her view of the window was unobscured, free of any distractions, just a plain, open, wide pane of glass, with nothing else across or over it: not even the sun-catcher that had been hanging in front of it.

"No…" Botan said, taking a step back. "This isn't right… Something's not right. Shizuru, what happened to the sun-catcher that was…"

Botan's voice trailed off as she turned around and found herself alone in the kitchen.

"Shizuru?" she said, taking a step forwards, bringing her to stand on the spot Shizuru had been occupying only moments earlier. "Hello?"

Her voice went unanswered and so she slowly moved further into the house, checking all the rooms on the ground floor, but finding them empty. A strange feeling of foreboding began creeping up on her, and, as she began ascending the stairs to the upper floor of the house, she could swear the air was getting colder, so much so that she could feel her skin prickling as she reached the top step. She continued to Shizuru's bedroom, pushing open the door and peering in, but finding it empty. She was almost too scared to try calling out for anyone any more, though she could not be sure why. She moved on to Kuwabara's room, a crackling sound coming from within growing louder as she opened the door and stepped into the room.

The room was devoid of life, but the television was still on, still showing static. It seemed to be glowing, but perhaps that was just because it was dark outside. Which was odd, because it was the middle of the day.

Botan moved over to the television, noticing an open video cassette case laying on top of the set. She realised it must be the film she had fallen asleep watching with Shizuru the night before, and she aimed herself towards it, picking it up and turning it over.

The cover was blank.

Botan looked down at the static on the television, the flickering mess of dots, generating an undulating hissing sound. Although she was not sure why, as the sound filled her eyes, her head turned towards the bedroom window. It was wide open, one of the curtains sucked out of it, flapping gently in the wind. The sky was dark outside, but something told Botan it was not night-time. She squinted at the blackness of the sky, finding it odd that it was so completely black – not a single star was visible, and no hint of the moon – and so she approached the window, leaning forwards to look properly outside.

Directly ahead of her, out the back of the house, the sky was black along the horizon, but the remainder of the sky was not entirely blacked out. The source of the darkness seemed to be on the deep, black point on the horizon, emanating from which were long, wavy tendrils of darkness, the stretched out towards Botan, ending in tapered points directly above the house. They were clearly an extension of whatever it was that was on the horizon, several miles away in that direction.

In the direction of the park Botan had found the Lure, the park where Kurama had publicly killed the Lure.

Maybe it was another Lure, come to the living world to seek vengeance for its fallen kin.

Maybe it could answer some of her questions.

Botan summoned her oar and launched herself out the bedroom window, flying fast and direct towards the source of the darkness.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan arrives at the park, where she seems to be having some sort of fleeting hallucination: but Hiei is on hand to revive her from it. He takes her to safety and they talk, and Botan tells him how she really feels about him. **Chapter 11: You Don't Even Know**


	11. You Don't Even Know

**Last Chapter: **Botan was meant to return to her normal duties, but instead bunked off to go looking for her friends to ask their advice on Hiei. Something odd seemed to be happening at Shizuru's house, and when she looked outside, Botan saw something in the sky that she decided to follow: back in the direction of the park she had found the Lure in.

* * *

**Chapter 11: You Don't Even Know**

Botan slowed as she reached the park. It looked exactly as she remembered it – and she did not just remember it as the place she found the Lure for the second time, it was a place she had visited a couple of times in the past as part of her duties as a ferry girl – but it looked duller than usual. The sky overhead was completely black when she arrived there, but the park itself was somehow illuminated, as though bathed in moonlight. It was the odd, greyish hue that the landscape in the living world took on in areas devoid of streetlights, the only light source being the moon. It was not the lovely blue light that came from a full moon, rather it was muggy grey light cast by a waning moon that hung low in the sky (although the moon was not visible at that moment).

Botan landed in the car park by the gates of the park, looking about herself, surprised to find only one car in the car park. The car was haphazardly parked, as though it had been abandoned in a hurry. It looked familiar somehow, but Botan had never really cared enough for cars to be sure why it looked familiar. It looked familiar, but it also looked pretty much like every other small car Botan saw in the cities of Japan, and in the dull lighting, it was almost impossible to tell the exact colour the car was, she could only be sure that it was dark (though not black). She started towards it, intent on looking through the windows to see if she recognised anything inside the car that might give her a clue as to who it may belong to: but as she neared it, she moved into an area of surprisingly cold air, air that was easily as cold as the air Yukina generated when she was unhappy about something.

Botan stopped, resisting the urge to shiver in the cold, as she was suddenly struck by why she recognised the car. The owner of the car was standing on the other side of it, looking tired and worried.

"No, you have to go," Keiko said, leaning one hand on the side of her car to support her clearly weary frame. "Because I said so, okay?"

Botan took a step back, though she was sure Keiko had not been speaking to her, as she had not been looking in Botan's direction when she spoke. As she stepped back, Botan stepped back into milder air, and the image of Keiko and her car dissolved into a blur that eventually dissipated into the night air. Botan frowned and stepped forwards again, back into the same position she had been standing in: but the air remained mild and neither Keiko, nor her car, reappeared.

Botan swallowed carefully and moved on, through the gates of the park.

"I'm sorry, the park is closed today."

Botan stopped short, shivering slightly as she once more found herself in a cold patch of air. She moved her eyes to her side, where she saw Kurama standing not far from her, apparently talking to someone behind her. She turned around on the spot, but saw no-one. She turned to Kurama, who would probably look calm and collected to most people in that moment, but the tell-tale tension lines at the corners of his mouth and around the edges of his eyebrows told her he was anxious about something.

"You'll have to come back another day," he said to the invisible person. "My apologies."

"Who are you talking to Kurama?" Botan asked, looking in the same direction he was for a moment.

When he did not answer her, she turned to him, the air noticeably growing warmer as she turned to him, and she caught one last glimpse of a blur of his image before he disappeared entirely.

"Oh…" Botan muttered to herself.

She was starting to wonder if she was having a dream. Or if she was watching a film. What she felt was more like watching a film than anything else, but she was viewing it through her own eyes, and she was a part of the action. She moved further into the park, aiming herself towards the area where she had spoken to the Lure, the bend in the path with the stone bench they had sat on together. As the bench came into her line of sight she stopped short, suddenly finding herself in another cold spot, and standing not far behind Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"How long is this gonna take?" Yusuke asked, sounding on edge, as though he was waiting for his turn in a match during the Dark Tournament.

"It took all day last time," Kuwabara replied, sounding substantially calmer than Yusuke, though still slightly uneasy.

"Damn it…" Yusuke growled under his breath.

Botan took a step towards them and they dissolved into nothingness just as Keiko and Kurama had done before them. Starting to feel genuinely afraid, and almost certain she was having a hallucination, or a flashback of one, caused by returning to the place she had met the Lure, Botan continued to the path in front of the stone bench, stopping there as a cold gust of wind swept over her. She began to feel so cold, she was sure she was about to see another of her friends: but nothing happened, and no-one appeared.

"Hiei."

Botan reached out her hand as she spoke his name, somehow knowing where to place her hand – and it reaching its target – before Hiei appeared before her.

"Why did you come back here?" he asked her.

"I-I don't know," she admitted. "I just felt… Drawn here."

"It's not safe for you here," Hiei said to her.

"But… I don't know where else to go."

"Then come with me."

Hiei grabbed her hand and started to run, forcing her around, and forcing her to run alongside him. She was not sure how he had managed to judge it, but he had adjusted his speed to her maximum speed, allowing them to run side-by-side as they fled the park. The world was still grey, the sky was still black, there were still no sights or sounds of life anywhere around them, but, as they ran, Botan could really feel Hiei's hand holding hers. It felt the way she remembered it from when he had held her hand in Demon World – during her hallucination – but also the way it had felt when he had taken her hand in Spirit World, when he had held her hand against his shoulder. She was losing track of what was real and what was a trick of her mind, but one thing she knew was real, one thing that was undeniable, was the way Hiei was holding her hand. The sensation was so real, so grounding, it distracted her from the burning in her legs as she ran alongside him, the aching in her lungs as she gasped in the air she needed to keep going, the thundering of her heart in her chest. When they finally stopped, Botan doubled over, sweat dripping from her hairline, across her cheek and down to the tip of her nose, where it dripped to the ground. At her side, Hiei was calm, poised and relaxed. What had been strenuous and almost impossible for her, was nothing for him. The speed they had been running at was probably painfully slow for him. His heart rarely beat, so he did not have to deal with it pounding in his head like Botan did with hers at that moment.

The thought occurred to Botan that, in order to run as fast as he did, and to jump as high as she had seen him do in the past – sometimes up to the top of a tree from a standing start on the ground – his legs must be incredibly strong. And muscular. She slowly turned her head towards him, finding he was, as usual, wearing very loose-fitting pants that entirely obscured what lay beneath.

"What are you doing?" Hiei asked her in a low voice.

Botan paused, questioning her own sanity when she nearly found herself answering him honestly with the words "wondering what you look like without your pants on". She took a deep breath and straightened herself up, wiping her free hand down her face to clear away the excess sweat, before turning fully to face Hiei. He was looking at her so intensely, she momentarily worried that he might have read her mind and already heard the question she almost spoke aloud: after all, as Keiko had pointed out, he did communicate with her telepathically more often than seemed normal for him. And he had been able to cut into her personal thoughts before, to catch her before she said something that might have caused him trouble, despite them being a considerable physical distance apart at the time. It was almost as though he regularly just sought her out and studied her mind. But why?

"I'm confused," she admitted.

"I know," he replied, a little too quickly for her liking.

"You do?" she asked.

"Yes."

Botan nodded slowly.

"How do you know?" she tried, hoping to draw out a more specific answer from him.

"This," he said, holding up his hand, still holding hers. "Do you see this?"

Botan focused on their hands, joined together, for a moment. She found the sight strangely hypnotic, and spent longer looking than she meant to. When she felt her mind drifting, throwing up images of his hand gripping other parts of her body the same way he was so firmly holding her hand, she tried to look away. Her mind successfully pictured, visually and in physical sensation, his hand holding her inner thigh, one of her breasts and the underside of her chin, which he lifted up to kiss her exposed neck, before she was able to break her attention away. She met Hiei's gaze again at the exact moment she felt that delirious rush of desire upon her last secret thought, and something in his eyes told her that last thought – and the others that had preceded it – might not have been so secret.

"I'm sorry…" she said softly. "What was the question?"

Hiei growled in the back of his throat, his face tightening in clear irritation.

"Why were you in that park?" he asked her. "You went there for a reason."

"I followed the…" Botan began. "I saw the…"

She swallowed and hesitated to consider her response. She was not too sure that she wanted to admit to Hiei that she had gone there searching for the Lure, least of all after he had come to Spirit World to talk to her about her experiences with the Lure.

"I saw something in the sky," she said, deciding to take the very advice he had given her, and base her lie mostly on the truth. "And I just came to see what it was."

"You got very close," Hiei replied.

"Close?" Botan echoed.

"You were right at the edge," he said, his voice softer. "I barely managed to pull you back."

He gave a slight tug on her hand, presumably to illustrate his point, but the action made Botan, still exhausted from the run, stumble awkwardly closer to him.

"You have to act now."

"Now…?"

"Now."

Hiei sounded so certain, and he was so close to her, and he was looking at her so directly. Botan questioned herself repeatedly in a matter of seconds, but her resolve remained solid: there was only one thing he could possibly mean. And so, she leaned towards him.

Botan had never actually kissed anyone on the lips before, but she figured it would be as simple as it looked, and so she had leaned in without much thought. At the point where the tip of her nose pressed against the tip of his she stopped. Not because she felt awkward that she had misjudged her angle of approach, but because she could feel something holding her back. Something physical. Something restrictive, locking her legs in place. Other than her head and her arm belonging to the hand Hiei was holding, she felt as though her entire body was being contained within some sort of energy field, tightly holding her in place.

"What are you doing?"

Hiei's voice was barely above a whisper, and a good deal lower and deeper than usual. When he spoke, she could feel his breath on her face, realising then just how close her lips were to his.

"I was going to kiss you," she answered honestly.

It was never easy to lie to Hiei, but it was impossible to even attempt it when she was so close to him, his eyes crossed slightly to look into hers.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because you asked me to," she replied.

"N-no I didn't," he said quietly.

"You said I had to act now. You're holding my hand. You pulled me closer."

Hiei paused before turning his head to one side suddenly.

"Be useful or shut the hell up!" he shouted, his voice raw and hoarse.

He sounded as though he had been through a difficult battle, physically drained but still mentally sharp.

Hiei hesitated there for a moment before turning back to face Botan, pressing the tip of his nose to hers. In the same moment that she thought it was odd that he had returned himself to that same position, she became aware that he had in fact moved closer, to the point that she felt as though they were breathing each other's breath.

"Why is this happening?" he asked quietly.

"I-I don't know," she replied. "You started it though."

"No, you started it," he whispered back.

"No, you did!" she protested.

"…Did I?"

Botan had never heard Hiei sound so unsure about anything in the entire time she had known him.

"This is about what you want, not what I want," he said, sounding as though he was back in control, sure of his words.

"What is?" Botan asked.

"What?" he echoed.

"What you just said," she said. "What did you mean?"

"I meant this is only happening because you want it to," he explained, in what sounded like a strained attempt to sound indifferent. "You're the one trying to kiss me, not the other way around. We are clear about that."

"Are we?"

"Yes?"

"You-you don't sound so sure. Are you sure?"

Hiei gulped, the sound so close, it was almost as though Botan had her ear pressed to his throat.

"I'm not like the others," he said in a low whisper. "Not in this way – not in the way you're thinking. You don't understand that. You are a servant of King Enma and I am a demon."

"I know that," Botan whispered back.

"I don't think you do," he whispered. "Not really."

"You don't know what I think!"

"I do."

"No you don't!"

"Where exactly do you think we are right now, woman?"

Botan rolled her eyes upwards, partly expecting to find that Hiei had taken her somewhere significant after his last words, but almost as soon as she broke eye contact with him he let out a groan and slumped towards her. She gasped as his forehead came to rest on her shoulder and his hand released hers.

"Hiei?" she said, turning her head toward him but only succeeding in burying her chin in his hair.

He said nothing, but also stayed exactly where he was. She could feel the weight of his head on her shoulder, almost as though he had passed out against her.

"Hiei, are you okay?" she asked.

It was as though he had fainted, though there was no logical reason why he would have.

"We have to get out of here."

Botan made to ask Hiei what he meant, but her words dissolved into a scream as he threw her over his shoulder and took off running at what she could only assume was his maximum speed, as it robbed the air from her lungs and made her ponytail fly straight out behind her head, only furthering the feeling that the skin was being pulled off of her face. Just as it reached the point where Botan was sure she was going to pass out – just as she had thought Hiei had done, moments earlier – he slowed to a halt and lowered her to her feet. Once she was steady on the ground, she gave him a questioning look, but his eyes were on something ahead of him. He gave a purposeful nod of his head in the direction he was looking and Botan turned around, gasping at the sight that greeted her.

"I thought you might like this," he said as she took in her surroundings. "You like human things, and the sky."

They were standing at the top of a mountain, looking down into a valley, the mountainside cut into terraced rice fields in every direction. The full moon was out and shining directly into the centre of the flooded fields, reflecting off the water and twinkling as a light breeze rippled the water. Looking at the higher up fields, the ones closer to her, Botan could even stars reflected in the velvety-black water.

"It's so beautiful," she gushed. "I've never seen them at night before."

The sight was stunning, the fragmented reflection of the sky that spread out before her, looking so much like another sky, she almost felt as though if stepped into one of the fields, she would fall through the stars themselves: but something about the idea of Hiei taking her to a scenic viewpoint seemed familiar, and not in a good way, and so Botan began to feel a sense of hesitation and uncertainty, so much so, that she took a step back.

"Sit down," Hiei said to her when she stepped back. "You seem tired."

Botan turned to him and let out a small, nervous laugh.

"You're not tired," she pointed out.

"It's nothing for me," he casually replied.

"I know…" Botan said with a sigh.

"Sit down."

"Okay."

Botan did as he commanded and sat down on the ground, crossing her legs in front of her.

"It's lovely here, it really is," she said. "But why did you take me here?"

Hiei sat down beside her, though, she noticed, a little bit away from her: not very far from her, but far enough that she could not reach out and touch him without stretching her arm and leaning over.

"You didn't collect the human soul."

Botan paused before slowly feeling her hand up her sleeve and retrieving her long task list. It was a little weathered from having been up her sleeve all day, but it was also, crucially, untouched. Botan had never abandoned her duties before, and she wondered what happened now that she had. Had another ferry girl gone to collect the souls she was meant to have collected? What if no-one had, what if all the souls she was meant to have collected were just wandering around aimlessly in the living world? Ayame had said there was a backlog of human souls because she had missed two days of work, what would it be like after her missing three days? Why had there been a backlog? Was the backlog made up of souls she had missed the previous two days? Did Spirit World just let souls build up in the living world?

"I, um, I was going to," she lied. "But there was something else I had to do first."

"Go back to the place where you last saw the Lure?" Hiei responded.

Botan pouted.

"I had a good reason for going back there," she said quietly.

"You need to move forward," he answered her.

"Yes, I know," she agreed.

"Stop looking for the Lure."

"I wasn't purposefully looking for it, I just thought I saw it."

"Stop thinking about it. Forget it and move forward."

"I suppose that's what you'd do, right?"

Botan turned to Hiei and he gave her a strange look from the corner of his eye.

"Not that I'm saying you would have been caught by a Lure in the first place," she quickly added. "Just that you would, you know, move on. From the Lure."

Hiei looked forward again and Botan copied his action, turning her head in time to see an owl swoop down over the mountainside. Looking directly at it, it looked dark, but the reflection of its underbelly in the fields below it appeared a brilliant white.

"I've been seeing things," she said quietly. "Things that don't make sense. I know I'm "awake" now, but I still feel like I'm under the Lure's control somehow. It's like… I see echoes of things that don't really exist."

Botan sighed.

"I know it sounds crazy, and it probably doesn't even make any sense, the way I'm describing it," she said. "But I just feel like… It's not over. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes," Hiei replied, so immediately and so confidently, Botan instantly felt easier.

"I thought you were going to disagree with me," she said.

"It's what the Lure does," he answered. "It will pass. But you need to move forward."

Botan nodded.

"Okay, I know," she said. "And I have been trying to."

"Have you?"

"Yes! I went back to work–"

"You abandoned the first soul you were sent to collect. Did you collect any of the others?"

"Well, no, but I did intend to."

"You'll draw attention to yourself in Spirit World if you don't move forward."

Botan's face twisted.

"I think I've done that already," she said, looking down at her feet. "I think that happened when I became Assistant to the Spirit Detective. And it got worse when I went to the Dark Tournament. And then it got worse again when I went to the Demo World Tournament. In Demon World."

"It will get worse if you can't let go."

"I can't let go, though!"

"You must."

"I can let go of some of it, but not… Some other parts of it."

A short silence passed between them, during which Botan fiddled with her sleeves anxiously.

"When we were all gathered in Spirit World, and Lord Koenma first spoke to us about the Lure," she began quietly. "I thought it was just a demon that made you see things like… Having a nice new kimono, or going a nice party with all my best friends. I thought, if it did catch me, it would just show me things I obviously knew that I wanted. I didn't know it would – I didn't know it could – show me things I didn't know I wanted. And… That's the problem. It showed me things I didn't know I wanted, and didn't realise I wanted really badly, and now that I've seen what it's like to have those things… I don't want to…"

"Don't want to what?" Hiei pressed.

"I don't want to carry on without those things," Botan admitted. "But I don't really know how to get those things. And I don't understand how the Lure knew that I wanted those things. It didn't just show me things that I wanted, it gave them to me in exactly the way that I wanted them. But… It wasn't perfect. It was just imperfect enough that it seemed real. If it had been too perfect, I would have known it was fake. But… It was perfect."

"Life isn't perfect."

"I know! And obviously so did the Lure, because it knew to show me an imperfect life. That was perfect. I just… I don't know what to do."

"Move on."

Botan sighed loudly.

"It's the only thing you can do," Hiei reminded her.

"I can't move on, okay?" she snapped. "I can't! Not until I know why!"

"Why what?" Hiei asked.

"Why it showed me the things that it did!"

"You already know why. You said so yourself: it showed you things you want."

"It focused really heavily on something I didn't know I want. And now that it's shown me I do want it, I want it so badly, I just need to know why."

"If you want something that badly, you should just pursue it."

"That's easy to say when you're talking about something, but I am talking about someone!"

Another silence passed between them, during which Botan fiddled with her sleeves – at one point stuffing her task list back up when it threatened to fall out – and sighed a few times.

"It's you, Hiei," she eventually said, ignoring the tears blurring her view of the stunning rice fields. "I didn't know that I wanted you, but most of what the Lure showed me was about me getting you. And that's not possible. You said as much yourself."

"I didn't say it wasn't possible."

Botan paused, before opening her mouth to speak, but the struggling to find her voice for several seconds.

"You said you couldn't do it," she eventually managed. "You couldn't be with me."

"That wasn't what I said," Hiei replied. "Or what I meant."

Botan frowned, and tilted her head slightly.

"You said "I can't do this"," she pointed out.

"I can't come to Spirit World and have a spirit proposition me," Hiei replied. "Just as you can't come to Demon World and have me proposition you. It would be too dangerous for both of us."

"Oh, well, that's a good point," Botan agreed. "Spirit World probably would have had me arrested for saying what I did to you, and in Demon World, you'd probably be kicked out by Mukuro if she thought you were…"

Botan sighed and hung her head. She was unsure what she ought to do or say next: the only thing she was sure of was that she wanted to stay exactly where she was, no matter how impractical that would be in time.

"We're not in Spirit World now," Hiei said.

Botan nodded.

"Or Demon World," he added.

She nodded again, but paused partway through the gesture.

"What are you saying?" she asked, turning her head to look at Hiei at her side.

"Here, in this place, nothing else matters," he replied, turning to face her. "Here, it's just you and me."

Botan searched his eyes, waiting for him to say or do something to contradict what she hoped he was implying. When he neither did nor said anything, she allowed herself to dare to hope.

"Nothing else matters," she said, nodding her head. "It's just you and me. And if I said that I want…"

Looking him in the eye, it was a lot harder to outright say how she felt.

"And I told you, if you want something that badly, you should just pursue it," Hiei said.

Botan gulped before taking a step closer to him experimentally. She was still cautious, still sure that the moment would go sour at some point very soon.

"I think I always felt this way," she said. "I just… Ignored it, because, like you said, in our own worlds, it wouldn't be accepted."

"I understand," he replied, taking two steps closer to her.

He was close enough that she could easily reach out and touch him, and as soon as that thought occurred to her, she reached out a hand, falling just short of placing it on his chest, her fingers fluttering in the air between them.

"I just want–"

Botan stopped short when Hiei took her hand in his and pressed her palm to his chest. She gasped, though all she could feel was his shirt, the only real familiar, skin-on-skin contact coming from his fingers against her hand: that familiar warmth of his skin, the slightly frayed edges of the bandages over his palms.

"I just want…" she tried again.

She shook her head and found her eyes focusing onto the one thing she knew, without a doubt, that she wanted right then.

She just wanted to kiss him.

Botan closed the distance between them and Hiei crashed into her, landing in the same position he had been in before he took her to the rice fields: leaning against her with his head on her shoulder. It was not the move she had been going for, and she was a little disappointed to miss out on kissing him, but as she turned her head slightly towards him, the feeling of his hair brushing against her lips was strangely comforting in its own sort of way. She put her arms around him and closed her eyes. She had no idea what the rest of the night would hold for her, but, finally, she was at peace.

She had nothing more to worry about or question, because, finally, everything made sense.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan tries to return to her usual routine and life in Spirit World, but she is consumed by thoughts of Hiei, who begins visiting her in her bedroom at night. Also, strange things keep happening around her, things that ultimately lead her to another encounter with the Lure. **Chapter 12: Every Night**


	12. Every Night

**Last Chapter:** Botan went back to the park where she had encountered the Lure and found herself seeing flashes of her friends in disjointed scenes of unreality. Hiei appeared and took her away, where they very nearly kissed, but ended in a hug instead.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Every Night**

Botan opened her eyes, and for a moment she thought she was still on the mountainside, overlooking the rice fields. She frowned as her eyes came into focus, and she realised she was laid on her back, looking up a ceiling. The ceiling of her bedroom, so be more precise.

"You're awake."

Botan sat up and twisted around to look at her window behind her. The window was wide open – and she remembered then that she had left it open when she left Spirit World that morning – and Hiei was crouched in the window-frame.

"Hiei," she whispered. "What are you doing here?"

She looked about herself with a frown.

"What am I doing here?" she asked. "And how did I get here?"

"You fell asleep," Hiei flatly replied. "I carried you back here."

Botan looked about herself. Her room was dark, it was dark outside, and probably every other ferry girl was asleep (or working the night shift). But the thought of all the other windows on her row being dark reminded her of the one window that usually remained illuminated, regardless of the hour.

"Did Ayame see you take me back here?" she asked.

"What's an Ayame?"

Botan smiled in spite of herself at Hiei's so typical answer.

"I'll just hope she didn't," she concluded. "You probably shouldn't be here though."

"Where?" Hiei asked.

"Here," Botan said.

"In Spirit World?" he asked. "Or in your bedroom?"

Botan swallowed hard and tried to laugh off the heat growing in her face.

"Just… Either," she replied. "Probably you shouldn't be in Spirit World, and you definitely shouldn't be in my, um, my bedroom."

"Koenma asked me to check on you."

Botan remembered then that Hiei had previously arrived at the class room to speak to her, apparently on instruction of Koenma, and perhaps it was true that Koenma has asked him to continue monitoring her progress.

"Why you?" she asked softly.

Hiei narrowed his eyes at her and she realised her question may have sounded rude.

"I mean, I would have expected Koenma to ask Ayame to watch me," she explained. "Not you."

"I know what a Lure can do," Hiei replied.

"I suppose," Botan agreed. "And I suppose I was just surprised that you actually physically came to see me. Usually when you want to check on me or to tell me something, you just do it… Telepathically…"

"I do that too."

The thought occurred to Botan that it almost sounded as though Hiei was constantly watching her, and occasionally appearing when he saw fit. She did not want to tell him it seemed that way, as saying it out loud sounded silly, but after her conversation with Keiko, where her friend had pointed out that Hiei did have a habit of invading her thoughts, she could not help but conclude that he must, literally, be watching her constantly.

"Hiei?" she asked.

He grunted, which she took to mean he wanted her to continue.

"Am I going to be okay?"

He grunted again, and she wished she had not asked the question.

"I've been… Seeing things," she said. "Strange things. Things that don't make sense. I thought it was just an after-effect of being taken by the Lure, but… Sometimes I'm not so sure. Sometimes… I think I'm losing my mind."

Botan added her last remark as a whisper: it was a thought she had been terrified to voice, lest that make it somehow truer, but she really needed to know either way.

"You'd tell me if I was losing my mind, right Hiei?" she asked.

"You're the same idiot you always were," he replied.

Botan sighed in relief.

"So… The things I've been seeing…?" she asked.

"The Lure injected you with a venom that made you hallucinate," he replied. "You were released from the Lure's lair, but you still have the venom in you."

"I do?" Botan asked. "Does that mean I'm still hallucinating?"

"Sometimes," Hiei replied.

"When will it stop?"

"In time."

"And until then… You're going to watch over me?"

"Yes."

"…Do you promise?"

"Yes."

Botan nodded.

"Okay," she said. "Then… I think I'm going to be okay."

Hiei nodded and leapt from her window. She got up and moved over to close it behind him, only realising as she reached it that there was nowhere for Hiei to leap to but the ground or the roof, and both were several hundred feet away from her window. She leaned out of the window and peered down but found that it was too dark for her to see the ground. She looked up at the sky, but it was impossibly black. Blacker than she had ever seen it.

Botan leaned back into her room and closed her window, closing the curtains over it. She still felt that something was not quite right, like she had forgotten something or missed something important, but she was tired, and found that, soon after she had gotten back into her bed, she fell asleep once more.

* * *

Botan was surprised when she reported for duty in the morning that she was handed a normal length of task list, and nothing was said about the fact that she had abandoned her duties the day before. She had not wanted to face any sort of reprimand for abandoning her duties and, equally, she had agonised over the thought of having a long day ahead of her, but it seemed that everything had returned to normal. She set out to her first destination, and before she knew it, her day was over.

The day seemed to end very quickly, but she was simply pleased that it did. She avoided going to visit friends or spending time in the social area of the ferry girls' quarters, instead going to her bed early and turning out the light: but not before she opened her window.

It was not that she expected Hiei to return, but she quite liked the idea that he might arrive in her room again that night, and so she prepared for it accordingly.

She must have managed to drift off to sleep, because the first time she heard Hiei's voice, it woke her from a dreamless sleep, and when she rose to her knees and shuffled around on her bed, she found him crouched in her windowframe exactly as he had been the night before.

"Hello Hiei," she greeted him, smiling appreciatively.

"I didn't see you today," he replied.

Botan frowned and tilted her head. She was in her pyjamas and had her hair in buns on either side of her head, and that was something she had expected him to comment on or react to, so when he seemed not to notice her physical appearance but instead launched into another topic, she was confused.

"A human died passing over to Demon World accidentally," he explained. "I waited for you, but it was another ferry girl who came."

"Oh, I see!" Botan said, nodding her head. "Oh, that's too bad."

She paused for a moment to wallow in the fact that he had admitted waiting for her, and even seemed irritated that she had not been the ferry girl to show up, before continuing.

"Today was just a normal day for me," she said. "I haven't had any strange visions, or anything strange happen to me. I think I might be better. I think now everything is alright."

"You're not going to go out looking for a Lure?" Hiei asked.

Botan shook her head.

"I only went back to the Lure to…"

Her words drifted off as she remembered why she had sought out the Lure, and how little success she had enjoyed when she had tried to address the issue with Hiei. She had wanted to know why the Lure had shown her Hiei, but she was starting to understand why without anyone answering her. She supposed the answer was inside of her all along, as the vision had been her own. The truth was that she had feelings for Hiei that she had been suppressing, ignoring.

Just like how she had sexual desires that she pushed down into the deepest parts of her subconscious and ignored, in order that she could continue to function as a ferry girl, who had little to no social life.

"Thank you for checking up on me," she said instead.

"If you have any questions about the Lure," he began.

"I can ask you?" she tried.

"I was going to say you can ask Kurama."

"Oh."

"I should go."

"Oh."

Botan slouched in disappointment – Hiei visiting her in her bedroom was not exactly turning out to be the fantasy she had hoped it would be.

"I'll be back tomorrow," Hiei said.

"Oh, okay," Botan replied, nodding her head.

There was a short pause, during which Botan wished she had left the light on in her room, as it was too dark for her to scrutinise the look on Hiei's face.

"If you feel like you need to go back to the Lure, at any time," he said. "Any time at all, call me."

"I can't call you," Botan pointed out. "You refuse to take a communication mirror!"

"You don't need a communication mirror to reach me, Botan."

Botan froze upon hearing the way he said her name. It was not often that he did speak her name, but it had sounded as though he had said it softer than usual, as though he wanted to reach her personally with what he had said.

"I suppose not, Hiei," she said, smiling sweetly at him.

He nodded and leapt from the window. Botan took a moment to remember the thought she had had the previous night, before scurrying to get to her window, but apparently arriving too late again, as when she looked out, Hiei was nowhere to be seen. She could not see the ground, it was too dark, and the sky overhead was so black, it was even obscuring the peaks of the towers of the temple. Leaning a little further out the window, Botan thought she could see something moving.

She had never noticed the giant crossed swords hanging on the temple wall before.

Above the ferry girls' quarters, slightly to one side of Botan's window specifically, two large swords were mounted on the exterior temple wall, crossed over each other. Botan could not tell if the swords themselves were black or if they just looked that way because it was so dark outside.

They were definitely new though.

* * *

After another routine day of duties that passed quickly – so quickly it was almost as though the day had not even happened at all – Botan again went straight to her room to ready herself for another visit from Hiei – but as soon as she entered her room, she found him already crouched in her window.

"Hiei!" she gasped.

She could not even remember having left her window open that day, and yet it was open wide, the curtains sucked outside.

"Yusuke is hosting some sort of party in the human world," Hiei said, sounding as though he was talking about something incredibly mundane. "I assume you will be going."

"When is it?" Botan asked, brightening and suddenly finding a second wind energising her.

"Now," Hiei replied.

"I've done all my work, I can go!" she said brightly, throwing open her wardrobe door. "I just need to find something to wear…"

She scanned through her outfits, but as she looked through them, a shadow fell over her, as though her light source were an overhead one rather than her window at her side, and as though someone was slowly moving a plate over the light to block it out. She slowly straightened back from her clothes, a small shiver passing down her spine: which was brought about by a combination of a sickening feeling in her stomach and the sudden cold that came with the darkness. She gripped her fingers into the edge of her wardrobe door, at first scared to move it, instinctively already knowing that what lay behind it was something she did not want to see.

"I thought this had stopped," she said quietly. "I thought everything was alright now."

"No," Hiei answered her, his voice containing a raw edge to it that did little to ease her mounting nerves.

"What's happening?" she asked.

"You're hallucinating," he answered her. "None of this is real."

Botan swallowed hard and slowly closed her wardrobe door. Her room was considerably darker, and from the corner of her eye, she could see that Hiei was no longer crouching in her windowframe, rather he was standing at her side. He was also no longer wearing his cloak. His hair looked askew, as though it was drying after being soaked wet.

"Hiei?" she said softly.

"Concentrate," he answered. "Just focus, and you can come out of this."

Botan slowly turned her head towards him. He was already looking directly at her, and his eyes looked strangely bright in the dimmer light, and because, for some reason, he had black paint around his eyes.

"Hiei?" she said, taking a step closer to him. "Are you okay?"

"Don't think about that," he answered.

Botan's eyes moved from Hiei's to his shoulder. His vest was torn there, a flap of fabric hanging down for no apparent reason.

"Is-is that what you're wearing to the party?" she asked.

"Party?" he repeated. "When have you ever known me go to a party, woman?"

Botan gingerly lifted the torn section of fabric and lifted it back into place, pressing it against him. As soon as her fingers pushed against him however, she felt a jolt of shock pass through them.

"Are you hurt?" she asked.

"No, stop that!" he snapped, grabbing her hand as her healing magic flared, brightening the room.

"I was trying to heal you!" she protested. "Don't you want me to heal you?"

"No!" he growled back.

"You are so stubborn!" she argued.

"As are you, you bloody-minded fool," Hiei snarled.

"Come on, Hiei!" Botan said, before sighing in frustration. "You can't very well go to Yusuke's party looking like that!"

"No."

Hiei closed his hand, forcibly forming Botan's hand into a fist inside of his. She frowned as she realised then how rough his skin felt against hers.

"What happened to your hand?" she asked.

"The same thing that will happen to your soul if you don't listen to me, woman!" he roughly replied.

"I am listening to you!" Botan protested.

"Good," he said, sounding almost sinister. "Listen carefully and do exactly as I say."

"I'm not your slave, Hiei," she flatly replied.

"I never said that you were."

His top lip twitched and he almost appeared to roll his eyes.

"It's not a sexual thing!" he snapped suddenly, tightening his hold on her hand to the point that it was almost painful. "Stop making light of this!"

"I never said it was!" Botan wailed.

"You, woman, listen," he said.

"I am listening, Hiei!" Botan snapped.

"Wake up!"

Hiei shouted each of the words into her face, saying them slowly and carefully. As he finished the last syllable, she suddenly felt herself falling backwards, her hand falling out of his. Her surroundings blurred, and the way she fell felt as though she was falling through water: and as though to confirm that suspicion, when she tried to breathe in, Botan felt as though she was sucking water into her lungs.

Botan fought and writhed around, gasping for air, and blinking her eyes desperately as she tried to focus. After considerable effort, she landed on solid ground, one hip hitting the ground first. She collapsed and rolled over onto her back, opening her eyes to find herself looking up at a black sky. A black, black sky. She took in a deep breath, finally managing to get some air into her body. The taste of the air told her she was in the human world. She tried to sit up, only realising then that she was swathed in something scratchy and white. She let out a short, sharp scream, before wriggling around again, whining as she heard squelching sounds and felt something slimy against her skin. She fought and fought until the material encasing her began creaking and ripping apart.

Once her arms were free, Botan sat up and began tearing open the material over her legs, making quick work of her task and immediately standing up and staggering away from the thing that had trapped her. She turned around to look at it, realising then that it was the same material she had woken up to find Kuwabara and Kurama freeing her from when the Lure had captured her.

Botan looked about herself. She was back in the park she had found the Lure in, the park where Kurama had killed the Lure.

The park where she thought Kurama had killed the Lure.

Botan slowly moved her eyes beyond the torn webbing she had escaped from, to the stone bench she had sat on alongside the little girl the Lure appeared as. She continued moving her eyes to the trees behind it, scanning up them, where she found the torn remains of a lair. Hanging upside-down from a tree branch – legs bent over the branch to supper its weight – was the Lure. The Lure. The Lure who had caught her, the Lure she had found again in the park. It looked almost the same as it usually did, and might have almost looked cute, hanging upside-down in its little girl body, shoulder-length black hair hanging down from its upside-down head, but there was something slightly off about its appearance.

Its eyes looked bigger, rounder, than usual. And they were staring directly at Botan.

"What are you doing, Botan?" the little girl asked, her voice as sweet and innocent as ever.

Botan slowly slid back a step, moving into a patch of even colder air. She slid back another step, the air becoming positively frigid, at which point Shizuru phased into sight in front of her, unusually bright and colourful against the surroundings of the park, darkened by the black sky overhead.

"This is gonna be a movie nobody will ever want to watch," Shizuru said.

She was holding the empty case of the video she had shown Botan a few nights ago – "The Evil Eye" – and the image on the cover was the one Botan remembered, of the lone figure on a motorbike.

"Shizuru?" Botan said, reaching out a hand towards her.

Shizuru gasped and dropped the video case, turning to look directly at Botan.

"Did you just say my name, sweetie?" she asked.

"Shizuru, can you hear me?" Botan asked.

Shizuru suddenly looked incredibly disappointed, lowering her head slightly before fading into a mist that disappeared into the air entirely. Once she was gone, Botan was left looking at what was beyond her: the Lure.

"What are you doing, Botan?" the Lure asked again.

"Getting away from you!" Botan replied defiantly.

"I don't think that's what you want to do," the Lure replied.

"It is!"

"Then go."

"I'm going!"

Botan held out her hand, and there was a dull, stunted spark, but otherwise nothing happened. She looked at her hand, expecting her oar to have apparated there, despite already knowing her hand was empty.

"Not that way," the Lure said.

"Okay," Botan said, nodding her head. "I see how it is."

"Do you?" the Lure asked. "Let me guess what your next move is: look for someone to come rescue you?"

"I'm perfectly capable of rescuing myself!" Botan argued.

"You're thinking about someone else rescuing you. Hiei, Yusuke, Kurama, Kuwabara, Shizuru… Maybe even Ayame."

"You leave my friends out of this!"

"I'll make a deal with you, Botan."

Botan narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Let me ask you a question," the Lure said, grinning in a way that looked unnaturally wide for a human mouth. "Answer it honestly and find your way out of here."

"This better not be a trick," Botan warned quietly.

"No tricks," the Lure replied, holding out her small hands to as though to show she was not holding any weapons. "Just one question. One choice. And then it's all over."

"Fine. Go ahead."

"Answering honestly – you must answer me honestly – would you rather Ayame came here and found you, covered in goo, a stumbling, stammering mess who wilfully succumbed to an addiction, or would you rather go to that party at Yusuke's house and… Dance with Hiei?"

Botan's face dropped.

"That's not a fair question," she whispered.

"I never said it would be," the Lure whispered back. "Will you answer, or should I take your initial response as all the answer I need?"

"The question was not fair!" Botan complained. "One of those things is my worst nightmare, the other is my…"

"Secret desire?"

"I…"

"Secret desire, that resides deep, deep down, in the deepest, darkest part of your subconscious, where you've been harbouring it, denying it, ignoring it and yet… Allowing it to grow and consume you?"

Botan swallowed hard.

"What happens now?" she asked quietly.

"Whatever that thing is telling you, it's not true, Botan."

"Hiei."

Botan spun around and found Hiei standing behind her, dressed in his usual clothes, his cloak covering most of his body, only his booted feet visible beneath it.

"You're hallucinating," he said. "This is just an after-effect of your encounter with the Lure. Concentrate, it will pass."

"I…I can't," she said, shaking her head. "I don't know what's real any more!"

"Yes, you do," Hiei replied.

"No, I don't!" Botan wailed.

"Here."

Hiei took a hold of her hand, and she instantly felt more at ease upon the familiar sensation of his warm skin against hers.

"Does this feel real?" he asked.

She nodded.

"How about this?"

Botan gasped as he pulled her to him and she stumbled awkwardly, colliding with him. She put her arms around him and turned her head toward him, feeling his hair on her lips the same way she had before.

"This is real," she agreed.

"Then don't think about anything else," he said. "Just come with me."

"Okay."

Hiei drew back from her, took her hand, and she was shortly running at his side, once more running as fast and hard as she possibly could. They ran for what felt like a lot longer than they had before, and although it was painful on her legs and she could hardly breathe, Botan managed to keep up, and when they stopped, she was not nearly as exhausted as she had been the last time he had made her run alongside him. She smiled at him as they stood together, but her smile faded when she looked in the direction he was looking, towards the destination he had brought her to.

They were standing outside the Kuwabaras' house, all the lights were on, and the muffled sound of music being played loudly within the house could be heard even from their position at the end of the garden path.

"This isn't real," Botan said quietly. "Because this was what I wanted."

"Are you sure about that?" Hiei asked her.

She looked down at him questioningly, but he nodded towards the house. Still holding hands, they continued down the garden path. Hiei opened the front door of the house and Botan winced as Kuwabara's rendition of his favourite Megallica song reached the falsetto bridge.

"This is what you wanted?" Hiei asked her. "To listen to that fool wail and scream in what he thinks is a romantic gesture?"

"Okay, I don't think even my own imagination would add that detail," Botan agreed.

They continued into the house and Hiei's hand slid from hers: though she did not mind, as Keiko caught her as she joined the group in the living room.

"I never know what I enjoy watching more," Keiko said into her ear. "Kuwabara enjoying himself too much or Yukina trying to guess how she's supposed to act when he does this."

Botan looked over at Yukina, who was smiling at Kuwabara in a gesture that was forced, her eyebrows twisted in a look that was a blend of confusion and strained patience. She was sitting on a wooden chair that had been moved into the centre of the room to allow Kuwabara to dance and sing around her – something that usually ended up happening at any gatherings the group had – and the remainder of the group were sitting around the walls in pairs. Keiko and Yusuke were standing together, Hiei had moved over to talk to Kurama, and Atsuko and Shizuru were sitting in the back corner of the room. Shizuru smiled at her father as he poured her a drink, before continuing around the room with the bottle, offering the others a top-up to their drinks.

Something seemed slightly amiss.

Botan moved over to the window at the back of the room, that looked out to the back garden. Atsuko and Shizuru were laughing over their drinks, both red-faced and merry, and seemed not to even notice Botan when she stopped near them to look out the window.

Outside, the sky was black.

Botan had never seen the sky in the human world so black, so plain. No hints of starlight or moonlight, no outline of clouds visible, just solid black. It was almost like the entire world was under the shadow of something large and monstrous.

"Do you need a light?" Botan heard Yusuke ask behind her.

"Yeah, this damn one is broken."

The quivering edge in Shizuru's voice when she spoke her reply made Botan turn her head. The room behind her was black too, everything, everywhere was black: except for Yusuke and Shizuru. Shizuru had an unlit cigarette in her mouth and she was battling with a lighter, her hands shaking so much, it seemed that, even if it did work, she would not be able to operate it.

"Here, let me," Yusuke said to her softly.

"I don't know what's wrong with this thing," Shizuru said awkwardly, trying to fake a smile. "I think the damn thing is jammed."

Yusuke flicked his thumb over the lighter and a flame sprung out of it. Shizuru choked out a bitter laugh, before leaning towards him to let him light her cigarette.

"Hey, I know you can handle this," Yusuke said, closing her lighter and spinning it over his fingers before offering it back to her. "But are you okay?"

"I'm fine, kid," Shizuru replied, taking back the lighter and working it back into her jeans pocket, a task that took far longer than it ought to have as her hands were still shaking.

She took a long draw on her cigarette before removing it and rolling back her head, closing her eyes and holding her breath for a long time. She was still shaking, but she managed to hold her breath, before slowly sighing out smoke and lowering her head, her eyes opening and moving to Yusuke.

"Thanks, Yusuke," she said.

"No problem," he replied.

"It's uh…" she began, a strange look appearing on her face along with a lop-sided, wry smile. "It's not true what they say. It's not easier the second time around. Watching it. Not knowing how to stop it."

Yusuke nodded.

"I thought it would be easier," she said with a sigh. "But in a way… It's almost more difficult."

She took another long draw on her cigarette.

"Which is weird, right?" she said. "But I think it's because I know how much it hurts when it gets bad. And… I'm scared."

"You're scared?" Yusuke asked, smiling warmly. "Didn't think I'd ever hear you admit to that."

"I'm scared of feeling that way again," she replied.

"We all are," Yusuke replied.

Shizuru gave him a strange look, but when he started to look confused, she turned from him, hiding her face behind her hair.

"Shizuru, are you okay?" Botan asked her.

Shizuru did not respond, remaining turned away, furiously smoking her cigarette with trembling hands. Botan turned to ask Yusuke what exactly they had been talking about, but when she turned to where he had been standing, she found herself looking at a red-faced Atsuko.

"Botan, sweetie!" Atsuko greeted her, giving her the typical clumsy, slightly too firm hug she always did when greeting her.

"Atsuko, how are you?" Botan asked her.

"Never better, Botan," Atsuko said, sitting back down and pulling Botan down beside her onto the sofa. "Now you tell me what my boy has really been up to lately – and don't cover for him, be honest!"

"Oh, well, I haven't seen much of Yusuke lately, Atsuko!" Botan replied.

"You're covering for him!"

Atsuko put her hand on top of Botan's head and rubbed her hair far too roughly, which Botan bore as best she could.

"Aw, you're a good girl though, Botan," Atsuko said.

"Thank you…?" Botan responded.

Botan looked about the room, at one point catching Hiei's eye – and she was sure that, for a brief moment, he gave her a small smile – before noticing Shizuru was sitting in a chair on the other side of Atsuko. Botan leaned forwards, craning her neck to see past Atsuko, intent on asking Shizuru if she was alright: but then, presumably just as an antic in her state of intoxication, Atsuko put her hands over Botan's ears, the move proving strangely effective, as it drowned out all sounds entirely.

For a moment Botan remained where she was, leaning forwards, trapped in silence by Atsuko's hands over her ears. She moved her eyes to the others to see if she could reason why Atsuko had decided to cover her ears, and she saw Kuwabara emphatically hold up two fingers and mouth out the word "two" several times. He was almost looking at her when he did it, but not quite, and she wondered if he had been gesturing to Atsuko. Were they planning some sort of weird surprise for her?

Botan froze as she began to hear violins playing, despite still feeling Atsuko's hands over her ears. It was all she could hear, and she reasoned someone must have put the song on: Kuwabara disliked the song but had purchased a copy of it and would occasionally play it at gatherings. It was Botan's favourite song. No-one else in the group really cared for it, but Botan had been drawn to it since the first time she had heard it.

As the singer began, Botan listened carefully to the words he was singing. She loved the music, but she also loved the lyrics. The words had always felt as though they reminded her of something. Or someone. The words sounded like something she could imagine someone saying.

Botan slowly moved her eyes to Hiei. She had loved that song for years, and only in that moment did it occur to her why: the lyrics were how she wanted Hiei to feel about her. It was a song about a man who was in love but knew not how to express his feelings in words and was hesitant to take action because he was unsure of the concept of traditional romance. It was the way she had always imagined Hiei would feel if he ever fell in love. It was how she had hoped he might feel about her, how he might eventually express his feelings to her: and that was the real reason why she loved it so much.

Hiei moved across the room towards her, leaning down to look her in the eye, bringing his face very close to hers. He gave her a curious look, and she understood why: she had tears in her eyes.

"I just love this song so much," she said softly.

"I know," she heard his voice say, the sound muffled by Atsuko's hands, but reaching her regardless.

Botan smiled. Maybe strange visions about the Lure were going to haunt her for a little longer, but she finally felt that they would pass, and, looking at Hiei, she remembered what he had said about the living world being the place they could be free to be together. Finally, it seemed like she might be able to have what she had always, deep down, wanted.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan and Hiei begin dating (in secret), and it soon becomes like nothing else matters. Botan becomes unaware of anyone or anything else around her. Everything seems perfect, but there is just one small thing Botan can't seem to figure out. **Chapter 12: I See You**


	13. I See You

**Last Chapter: **Hiei visited Botan in her bedroom in Spirit World for a couple of nights, before inviting her to a party in the living world. Before she got there, Botan had a strange moment of unreality, where she had an encounter with the Lure. Hiei arrived and took her away from the Lure, bringing her to the party. Everything seemed fine there on the surface, but Botan witnessed a disjointed conversation between Yusuke and Shizuru, and also could mysteriously hear her favourite song playing.

* * *

**Chapter 13: I See You**

"I'm gonna destoy it."

"Get in line, Kuwabara! I meant what I said about what I'm gonna do to it!"

"Talk all you want boys, but I'm gonna be the one who wastes this bird-faced motherfucker."

With her last remark, Shizuru took the gun from her brother and aimed it at the screen on the arcade machine. Botan could not really remember leaving the party the night before, or her day at work, but she knew they must have passed, as she was back in the living world, in the early evening time, at Genkai's old place, watching her friends play arcade games with sometimes a little too much competitive spirit. They were all there: Yusuke, Kuwabara and Shizuru were huddled around the same machine, Keiko was explaining one of the games to Yukina and Kurama was playing a game on his own. It was a pleasant place to be, amongst her friends, with no pressure of any pending danger or too-long tasklist.

But something still felt just not quite right.

Botan was starting think that she would never get over what the Lure had done to her.

She turned from her friends and moved outside, into the sun. It was quite windy outside – as it did sometimes tend to be in early Springtime – and the wind caught Botan's kimono and ponytail, pulling them out to one side of her. Overhead, the clouds were rolling by, colliding with each other and merging, before being torn apart again. The fast-moving, shape-shifting shadows they cast on the land below was hypnotic to watch, and watching it helped ease some of her concerns. It reminded her of simpler things, things that brought her happiness without making any great demand on her or having any hidden cost. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, enjoying the sweet smell of growing grass that was so unique to the season.

When she opened her eyes again she felt drawn to look up into the tall trees along the line of the forest that lay beyond the complex: and she was not entirely surprised to see Hiei standing on a branch three quarters of the way up one of the tall trees, his back resting against the trunk of the tree, his arms folded over his chest. He was not looking towards her, and actually appeared to have his eyes shut and his head angled downwards, as though he had fallen asleep standing up. Which, knowing Hiei, was actually a possibility. Botan held out one hand, her oar appearing in it with a soft pop. She hopped onto her mode of transport and quietly drifted up towards Hiei's location, all the while expecting him to say something or move before she reached him. But, surprisingly, he stayed exactly where he was, eyes still closed, and remained silent.

Botan hovered directly in front of Hiei, pouting as she was overcome by both curiosity and irritation at his lack of acknowledgement of her presence. He would usually acknowledge her, even if it was just to tell her to leave him alone because she had interrupted his moment of peace.

He looked tired. Not so much in the way he was standing, just something about his face. Slight signs of weariness tugged the corners of his mouth downwards and changed the angle of his eyebrows. Botan leaned closer to him, tightening her grip of her oar with her hands and the backs of her knees to allow herself to move her face closer to his. He slowly opened his eyes, looking directly into her eyes with a strange, almost childlike look of wonder on his face. His eyebrows twitched and he unfolded his arms, raising one hand in the air between them, his fingers moving until he was pointing at her with his index finger. His eyes never left hers, and likewise, the look of wonder never left his face. Botan wanted to ask him if he was alright, but she was strangely captivated by the way he was looking at her: his expression was so soft, he almost looked like an entirely different person.

She blinked in surprise when he lightly touched the tip of his pointed index finger to the tip of her nose, crossing her eyes to look at his finger. Her eyes quickly shifted back to Hiei's face however when she saw one side of his mouth curl up into a lop-sided smile, a strange sparkle – that almost resembled joy – passing over his eyes. He opened out his hand and his fingers lightly touched her cheek, sliding towards her ear until his thumb came to rest against the tip of her nose, whereupon the other side of his mouth curled upwards into a smile that was unusually warm and well-meaning for him.

Botan reached up her hand and pressed his hand to her face, the warmth of his bandaged palm against her skin almost leaving the rest of her body feel uncomfortably cold in comparison.

"This isn't supposed to happen," he said, his voice so quiet, it was barely a whisper.

Botan smiled.

"But it can happen here, remember?" she whispered. "Just like you said: this is the place where we can be together."

The look on Hiei's face changed then, into one Botan could not quite place. His eyes moved from hers to her lips, and she could have sworn she heard a murmur of a growl rumbling in his chest. He made a small snarling sound, his top lip twitching to momentarily expose his teeth before he lunged towards her.

"For fuck's sake, Hiei!" Yusuke yelled. "Put your dick away and concentrate!"

Hiei paused, his mouth slightly open, his head tilted to one side. He was so close to her that she was sure any movement on her part, no matter how slight, would bring her lips in contact with his.

"Put it away, Hiei!" Yusuke called, sounding almost taunting. "Don't make me climb this tree and kick you in the nuts!"

Hiei growled, this time clearly in anger, leaning back from Botan and closing his mouth into a mouthful of clenched, bared teeth.

"Any time, Hiei!" Yusuke added.

"How did you put up with him all those years he was the "Spirit Detective"?" Hiei whispered to Botan.

"I heard that, Hiei!" Yusuke called up to him.

Hiei sighed and narrowed his eyes before grabbing Botan's kimono at her throat.

"What are you doing, Hiei?" she asked.

"What do you think I'm doing?" he snapped back.

He shook his head and then pulled at her kimono, leaning back as he pulled. Botan was forced to lean fully forwards as he pulled, but she clung fast to her oar with her hands and legs and was able to stall the movement.

"Let go!" he yelled.

"I can't let go!" Botan cried back.

She shook her head – the look on his face was wild – surely this moment was another anomaly of reality, another disturbance of her perception of reality caused by the Lure.

"Hiei!" Yusuke called up to them. "Look out!"

Hiei grunted, the look on his face softening slightly, his eyes rolling upwards. A shadow fell over them and the wild look returned to Hiei's face instantly, his eyes and his bared teeth almost glowing as the shadow darkened everything else around them. He leaned back further, stretching back to the full length of his arms. He looked borderline insane and Botan wanted to ask him why: but just as she went to, his expression faltered, his eyebrows twisting and his grimace fading. A moment later, something black swiped over his face and he released Botan, falling through the tree and out of her sight.

"Hiei!" she cried, reaching out a hand in the direction he had fallen.

She turned and looked up at his attacker, finding what looked like an ordinary crow from the human world, hovering behind her head. Its feet were poised in the air ahead of it, its toes ending in talons unbefitting of any bird from the human world, every one dripping with blood. Botan summoned her bat ready to attack the bird, but it backed out of her reach, before flying off over the treetops and out of sight. With a sigh, Botan banished her bat again and quickly flew down the length of the tree, her concern rising as she passed broken branches that marked the path Hiei had fallen through. He must have fallen the entire way, as there was damage the entire length of the tree, and she eventually found Hiei sitting on the ground scowling at Yusuke, who was crouched at his side.

"Hiei, are you okay?" Botan asked, leaping from her oar, which vanished behind her with a pop.

He growled and turned his head from her, but she dropped to her knees at his side regardless.

"What happened?" she asked him.

"Nothing, I'm fine," he grumbled.

On his other side, Yusuke stood up and moved a few steps away to join Shizuru, who was standing apparently waiting for him, her weight leaned onto one foot, her arms folded over her chest in something of a sassy pose that caught Botan's attention.

"It's been a long day, kid, and we're all getting tired, but you have to stop," Shizuru said to him in a low voice.

"Aw, come on, Shizuru!" Yusuke said back, his voice also low, although not quite so low as Shizuru's.

"You have to stop now," Shizuru said firmly. "You have to stop talking about Hiei's dick and my tits."

Yusuke smirked and his eyes sparkled.

"Never thought I'd hear you say the words "tits"," he said with a grin.

"Just stop, okay?" Shizuru asked.

"You know uh… That was my first masturbatory fantasy. You, saying the word tits. Not in the way you just said, more in a sort of "look at my tits, and come have a–"

"Yusuke, give it a rest, okay?"

"Hey, nights in Demon World can be long and lonely. So, you know, this just gives me something else to think about on those, uh, long and lonely nights, if you know what I'm saying."

"Seriously, stop."

"Okay, I'll stop."

"Good."

Shizuru started to walk away from him.

"I mean, you've given plenty of material to work with as it is," Yusuke added.

Shizuru turned her head, glaring at him over her shoulder.

"That's nice too," he added, turning to look at her. "You, from behind, looking back over your shoulder at me."

"Consider yourself lucky I'm saving my energy for eviscerating that bird-faced motherfucker," Shizuru warned him.

"So maybe some other time?"

Shizuru sighed and walked on, and Yusuke made a small noise of self-satisfied triumph before following after her.

"Yusuke."

He stopped at the sound of his name.

"Leave her alone."

Yusuke spun on his toes, throwing Hiei a scrutinising look.

"I mean it," Hiei added. "Leave her alone. And stop making light of this."

Yusuke opened his mouth as though he had a smart comeback, but his face slowly changed, and he nodded, before turning away again and walking off.

"What was that all about?" Botan asked.

"Nothing," Hiei replied, standing up.

Botan rose to her feet at his side, watching him brush stray pieces of foliage from his clothing.

"Come on, let's go."

Hiei started to walk away and Botan hesitated at first, surprised by his words. Once her initial shock had passed, she hurried after him, falling into line alongside him.

"Where are we going?" she asked him.

"Somewhere we can be alone," he replied.

Botan smiled and tried to hide her gesture behind her hands.

"Okay, Hiei," she said.

They walked on in silence, but it was such a lovely day, Botan was happy to go that way. They walked side-by-side, and moved in a straight line the whole way, over lawns, through part of the forest and up a slight incline before reaching the edge of the treeline. There they stopped, and Botan finally realised where they were: they were back at the peak of a mountain, the other side of which was cut into terraced rice fields, all the way down to the valley below, the mountain at the other side of the valley likewise cut into rice fields. Seeing them in the daytime was no different from when they had visited them at night: they still acted as a mirror, reflecting the sky overhead. Botan took a moment to watch the reflection of the clouds, still racing and rolling by. Again, she thought that the fields looked so much like the sky, she felt as though if she stepped into one of them, she would fall through the sky itself.

Botan took out her oar and moved to the edge of the first cut, moving until the toes of her sandals were overlapping the blades of grass. The wind was still quite wild, and she had to grip with her toes as every gust threatened to make her lose her balance, to push her over the edge. Biting her lip in concentration, Botan reached out her oar, blade first, towards the nearest pool of water. She started to lean forwards, but doing so again threatened to send her over the edge, and so she kept her back straight: but then she could not quite reach the water, the tip of her oar falling just short of its goal.

She swallowed hard, her mind going blank for a moment. Then, only one thing appeared in her head: an image of herself, opening her arms and letting herself fall forwards, into the field below. When she hit the water there was no splash, she merely fell through, and into the sky beyond, free-falling through the air. It was not a descent like the kind she felt if she was thrown from her oar mid-air, rather it was a drifting sensation. Falling, but falling in a way that felt comfortable, relaxing, easy. It was a nice feeling.

Botan banished her oar and peered down into the fields below. She wondered how it would feel if she took a running jump off the edge, if she threw herself out over the fields further down.

She only realised how lost she was in the idea when she heard a noise behind her that drew her back to the present. She turned around to see Hiei unsheathing his sword. She turned around and moved over to join him. He held the sword in his dominant hand, but let it hang at his side, as though he had no real reason for having withdrawn it. Botan frowned as she looked down at the weapon. She had never noticed before that it was black. The hilt, the blade, the entire weapon was black. She wanted to ask Hiei if it was a new sword, but she also felt that nothing was different, and maybe she had just not noticed it before. She felt foolish that she had overlooked such a detail, and so she said no more.

"I like it here," she said.

"I know you do," Hiei replied.

"I could stay here all day, watching the clouds rolling by," she added.

"Yes."

Botan sat down on the grass and Hiei sat down beside her. She turned to look at him, and found he was sitting with his leg nearest her bent at the knee, resting his arm on it, his sword still in his hand. She wondered if he thought they were in danger somehow that he had chosen to hang onto his weapon so. When he did not respond, kept his eyes forward, kept hold of his sword, Botan decided to use his moment of distraction to shuffle closer to him. When he still did not respond, she leaned toward him and rested her head on his shoulder. He did not relax any, but he did not object to her action, and so she closed her eyes and let herself relax at his side.

* * *

Botan opened her eyes and, for a moment, was unsure where she was. She sat up onto one hip and discovered that she had been sleeping on the ground, at the top of the mountain, overlooking the terraced rice fields. She took a moment to look out over the reflection of the night sky, admiring the reflected moon and the stars – there seemed to be so many stars visible, she could even see them reflected in the distant fields near the base of the valley – before remembering that she had not gone to the fields alone. She looked about herself, but so no sign or trace of Hiei. She was a little irritated that he had left without waking her, but quickly forget about it when her attention was drawn back to the fields below. It was such a beautiful view, she felt that would be happy to stay exactly where she was until the end of time.

Botan moved onto all fours and crawled to the edge of the grass verge, rising up to her knees and shuffling them to the very edge. She reached an arm out in front of herself, looking down at the reflection of it in the water. It was strange, hard to understand why, but the air felt different on her arm, as though crossing that line at the edge of the field, moving out over the fields, was like entering another world entirely. She let her arm fall to her side, taking one last look out over the fields before hunching down over her knees and peering over the edge, moving her head out over the edge of the field.

Although she had expected to see her own reflection looking back up at her from the water below, Botan was strangely not at all surprised when that was not the case.

"Can you hear me?"

Hiei's face was clear in the water ahead of her, but his voice sounded strange. It almost sounded a little as though she was the one underwater, listening to him. It was that odd, muffled way voices sounded when she had her head underwater. Maybe she was underwater. The sky and the fields looked identical, maybe she was not looking down into the fields, but rather she was underwater in the fields, looking up at the sky.

"Can you hear me?" he asked again.

"I can hear you," she quietly replied.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I just woke up," she said. "I was just… Looking."

"You were doing more than looking."

Botan straightened her neck, drawing back a little from Hiei's face in the water.

"Why did you come here?" he asked.

"You took me here!" she replied.

He gave her a hard look before releasing a hint of a sigh.

"I see," he said. "That's not good."

Botan frowned and tilted her head to one side.

"You shouldn't have come here," he added.

"You took me here, Hiei!" Botan argued back.

"Well, you shouldn't listen to me."

Botan narrowed her eyes.

"Did you hear what I just said?" Hiei asked.

"You just told me to stop listening to you!" Botan argued. "Make up your mind, Hiei!"

"Listen to what I'm saying right now. But after that, don't listen to me."

Botan pouted.

"You're not making a lot of sense, Hiei," she complained.

"Stand up."

Botan did as he asked.

"Now move away from the edge."

Botan took a step back.

"All the way away. Leave this place entirely. Don't come back."

"But I like it here–"

"Go. And don't come back. No matter what."

Botan sighed and rolled her eyes, but summoned her oar and sat onto it, turning her back on the rice fields. She decided she might as well go back to Spirit World, back to her own bed, and sleep somewhere comfortable. She aimed herself towards the nearest portal – which, being as close to Genkai's temple as she was, was not far – and flew to it, pausing just before she passed through it to look back. From the portal, the rice fields were invisible, shielded from her view by the forest she had flown over to reach the portal. The full moon was still visible, hanging in the sky just above the treeline, in a point in the sky that would be around the middle of the rice fields.

Silhouetted against the moon was a bird, hovering in place. It might have been that crow from earlier, the one that had attacked Hiei in the tree.

Botan watched the silhouette, bobbing in place with the rhythmic beating of its wings. It was just a bird, far away, but she felt that, if she tried to go back, the bird would attack her too, just as it had attacked Hiei earlier.

Or had that bird attack been a hallucination?

Botan turned her head and passed through the portal, returning to Spirit World. It was dark in Spirit World, but the sky was not that oppressive black it had been the past few nights. The air felt a little freer too, and, even passing Ayame's window, and seeing her still up and still active, watching out her window as Botan flew by, lacked the feeling of guilt and failure that it had before. Botan gladly took herself to her room, pausing by her open window, her eyes slowly drifting upwards. As it was not quite so dark outside that night, she had a better view of the crossed swords mounted on the temple wall. They were in fact made of black metal, and, viewed from outside, they were much, much larger than they had looked from inside her room looking out. So large, in fact, that the point of one sword was only inches away from the top of Botan's windowframe – which made it all the more unusual that she had never noticed them before – and the other sword was likewise close to the top of another window further down the row.

It was directly above Ayame's window.

Botan decided she would ask Ayame about them in the morning, and took herself inside, closing her window, closing her curtains, and settling down to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Botan met Ayame when she was collecting her task list for the day. She flagged down the older ferry girl and nodded her head to indicate they should move away from the group. Ayame complied, and the moved to the side of the room.

"Ayame, what is the meaning of the swords on the temple wall outside our rooms?" Botan asked her, deciding just to come straight to the point.

"I think it has something to do with Hiei."

Botan's face dropped.

"Wh-what?" she muttered.

"What is it he says?" Ayame asked, unfazed by Botan's confusion. ""Live by the sword, die by the sword", right?"

"I don't think that's something Hiei says," Botan said quietly. "Also why would King Enma mount a giant homage to a demon on his temple wall?"

"Two crossed swords have a specific meaning," Ayame continued. "One is to protect the bearer, the other is to kill the bearer."

"I don't understand."

"It's "live by the sword, die by the sword"."

"Ayame, that doesn't make any sense."

"Think about it."

Botan opened her mouth to ask more questions, but Ayame walked away, leaving her reeling in confusion. She wished she had not bothered asking, as not only was she even less knowledgeable about why the swords had appeared on the wall, but she was starting to wonder if Ayame was losing her mind.

She headed out for the day, but passed it in a daze, all the while wondering if she had hallucinated her conversation with Ayame, as that seemed to be the only logical explanation for it. The only thing that brought her out of her reverie was when, near the end of her shift, she heard Hiei reach out to her telepathically, calling her to meet him at Kurama's house so that they could spend the evening together in the living world. Like a date, she told herself, her mood brightening for the remainder of her day.

Arriving in the living world at the end of her shift, Botan quickly found Hiei sitting on the doorstep of Kurama's house, looking strangely small and lonely: or maybe that was just how she perceived him, finding him there as he was. As she landed, he got to his feet, removing his cloak and tossing it to one side. Botan watched it hit the ground with a frown, confused as to why he would remove it to greet her. As he moved closer to her she shifted her attention back to him, blinking repeatedly in surprise when he walked up to her until their toes were touching, bringing himself so close to her, there was barely a sliver of air between them.

"Now remember Hiei, keep your dick in your pants this time."

Botan and Hiei both turned their heads to Yusuke, who had appeared behind and to one side of Hiei.

"Focus," Yusuke added.

A moment later he yelped and stumbled away from Hiei, leaving Shizuru standing behind him, her fist still poised in the air where she had punched him over the back of the head. He looked up at her and grinned.

"I like that too, you know," he said.

"You won't like it when I shove my fist down your throat and rip that smart-ass tongue out of your head," she warned him.

Yusuke straightened up.

"That wasn't sexy," he complained.

"Urameshi!" Kuwabara cried.

Botan and Hiei turned back to each other, and Botan wanted to ask him why there were so many people at Kurama's house – they had never had a group gathering there before, primarily because Kurama liked to keep anything to do with his demon life well away from his human mother – but as their eyes met, and she was reminded just how close Hiei was, Botan forgot all about the others.

"Can you see this?" he asked her.

He held up his hands by either side of his face, palms facing away from Botan.

"Your hands?" she asked.

"Yes," he confirmed. "Do you see them?"

"Yes…" she said slowly. "Is this some sort of test."

"Take my hands," Hiei immediately replied. "Both of them. Now."

"Okay."

Botan slipped her hands into his and he closed his fingers around her hands, at which point she realised something felt amiss: the bandages over his hands were torn and threadbare, and the skin on the palms of his hands and fingers was rough and cracked.

"You're hurt," she concluded.

"Never mind about that!" he said, almost shouting in her face. "Just listen to me."

"I'm listening," she replied.

"Listen carefully, and do exactly as I say, understand?" he said.

"I understand."

"You must do this."

"Anything."

"This is a simple thing. Just wake up."

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan wakes up and it seems like she was under the control of the Lure again. When she returns to Spirit World, it also seems that Koenma has lost a little of his faith in her as he deems her unsuitable to be left alone, and he tells her she must – much to her chagrin – be chaperoned by Ayame anywhere she goes until the Lure is caught. **Chapter 14: Just Wake Up**


	14. Just Wake Up

**Last Chapter:** Botan went to the rice fields with Hiei and fell asleep. When she woke up, she appeared to see him in the water, and he told her to leave. Back in Spirit World, she asked Ayame about the swords that had appeared on the temple wall, but Ayame's answer made no sense. Hiei called to her telepathically, and when she went to him, he told her to wake up.

* * *

**Chapter 14: Just Wake Up**

"Wake up?"

Botan paused, an unsettling feeling rising within her.

"Just wake up," Hiei said again.

"Wait," she said. "No, this isn't right–!"

Botan was cut off when Hiei dropped her hands and his body slammed against hers, his arms hooking under her armpits. She was pulled upwards and everything around her faded to black, including Hiei. She opened her mouth to ask what was happening, but she felt herself being tugged upwards again.

"Wake up!"

The voice that had spoken was unclear, Botan heard it as though she was underwater. The thought of being underwater made her think of the rice fields, and she wondered if she had fallen into them, if she was endlessly falling through the sky, drowning in a never-ending pit of water.

"Damn it Botan, wake up!"

Botan closed her eyes and her head lolled back.

"Shit, are you not done yet?"

Botan opened her eyes again but lacked the strength to lift her head. She could make out the blurry outline of Yusuke's face above her. His arms were hooked under hers, and apparently that was the only thing holding her upright. He hoisted her up again and she closed her eyes, feeling something slide over her feet.

"Got it!"

She opened her eyes in time to see Kuwabara stand up at her side, his hand forming a tiny, miniature version of his Spirit Sword.

"What do we do now?" Yusuke asked.

"Get her back to Spirit World," Kuwabara said. "I gotta go…"

"Yeah, good luck," Yusuke answered him. "Come on, Botan."

Yusuke slid one of his arms out from under hers and hooked it around the back of her knees, lifting her up into his arms and immediately breaking into a dizzyingly fast sprint. She closed her eyes and gripped a hand into his shirt. She vaguely heard him telling her to hang on, and the next moment he was laying her down on something soft.

"Make yourself useful, ogre!" she heard Koenma shout.

"Why don't you make yourself useful, Koenma?" Yusuke shouted. "Why the hell did you let Botan go back to that thing? And I thought you said you sent your best soldiers out to kill it! Another damn fine job by the useless assholes in Spirit World, huh?"

"Yusuke, this isn't helping anything!" Koenma argued back. "Where is that damn ogre!"

"I'm here, Sir," George answered.

"Botan, can you hear me?"

Botan opened her eyes and found Yusuke leaning over her.

"Botan?" he said, waving a hand in front of her eyes.

"Stop it," she moaned, slapping his hand away.

"Okay, good," he said. "You're back."

Botan froze, Yusuke's choice of words proving eerily familiar. When she connected it to the words Kurama had used when he and Kuwabara had rescued her from the Lure she immediately sat bolt upright, looking about herself in alarm. She was in Koenma's office, Koenma was standing on his desk, Yusuke was at her side and George was approaching her with a tray of tea.

"Back where?" she asked, glaring up at Yusuke.

"Back here," he answered. "In the real world. You were away in some other place, tripping your tits off, thanks to that damn Lure!"

"The Lure?" Botan repeated. "So… It is still alive?"

"Yeah, no thanks to some people!" Yusuke replied, turning his last remark on Koenma.

"Give it a rest, Yusuke!" Koenma shot back. "This won't happen again."

"It never should have happened in the first place!" Yusuke yelled.

"Glad we agree on something, Yusuke!" Koenma snarled. "Maybe, just maybe, if my two contacts in Demon World had responded to the initial reports of a demon in the human world, none of this would have happened!"

"Don't try to blame this on me and Hiei! This is your damn fault!"

"Really, it's Botan's fault."

Botan's eyes widened as all three other sets of eyes in the room turned on her.

"Why did you approach the Lure alone, Botan?" Koenma asked her. "And why did you go back to it, after it had already taken you? Look at yourself! Look what it's done to you!"

Botan looked down at herself. She was dressed in her usual pink kimono, but it was considerably dishevelled. She placed one hand on her opposite wrist and slid her sleeve upwards, exposing her arm and finding the tell-tale red circle left by the Lure. It looked redder and angrier than it had the last time around, the skin all around the wound pink and puffy, and she was sure she could see more veins in her arm than she usually could.

"I don't understand," she said softly, pulling her sleeve back down. "I only went back to talk to the Lure, and Kurama came and killed it."

"You went out with Ayame," Koenma said.

"Yes," Botan agreed.

"And as soon as she set off to collect her first soul, rather than go about your own duties, you sought out the Lure," Koenma continued.

"Yes," Botan agreed.

"You found it in a park."

"Yes."

"And it took you."

"It… Did? But… When?"

"You don't remember it actually taking you?" Yusuke asked.

He was pouring tea into a bowl for her from the tray George was still carrying. She shook her head and accepted his offer, lifting the bowl to her lips and sipping. It tasted terrible and she could not hold back the wince of disgust from her face.

"I told him to make it strong," Yusuke explained. "To help wake you up."

"I am awake!" Botan cried, looking around the others. "Aren't I?"

"Yes, Botan, you are awake," Koenma confirmed. "Now."

She sighed and looked down at her bowl, forcing herself to take another sip, shuddering at the bitter taste. There was a knock on Koenma's door and Botan almost physically deflated when Ayame let herself in. She was pushing a catering tray, covered with a perfectly pressed grey blanket. On the tray was an ornate teapot, gently steaming from the spout, a pretty bowl for tea, and a slender glass vase containing a single flower. It was so unnecessary. She quietly pushed the trolley towards Botan, her calm and collected po-face cracking when she noticed Botan was already drinking the tea George had brought her.

"What's this?" she asked, pointing at the tray of tea in George's hands.

"I made tea for Miss Botan," he said.

"No, no, this won't do!" she said, elbowing past him and snatching the bowl out of Botan's hands.

Botan did not protest, the tea had been foul anyway. Ayame sighed in clear disapproval and began pouring out some tea from her fancy teapot into the pretty bowl.

"Does it really matter?" Yusuke grumbled.

"I suppose not, to a cretin like you," Ayame muttered under her breath.

She stirred in some honey and lemon juice before passing the tea to Botan, who gladly accepted it: as much as Ayame irritated her, there was no denying she made a delicious cup of tea.

"What did you just call me, you uptight hag?" Yusuke spat at Ayame as she straightened away from Botan.

Ayame gave him a strange look but said nothing. Botan took a sip of Ayame's tea and sighed. She was not sure when she may or may not have been under the Lure's control recently, but the taste of Ayame's tea was not something even her own imagination could conjure.

"Is everything alright, Botan?" Ayame asked her.

Botan nodded.

"Is the tea to your liking?" Ayame asked.

Botan nodded again. On the inside she was groaning. As if Ayame even needed to ask that question: she was famous for her incredible tea brewing skills.

"Now Botan, I know this must all be very confusing for you," Koenma said. "If you have any questions, feel free to ask."

"Where is the Lure?"

The room fell silent and Botan took another sip of her tea.

"Is it still alive?" she asked.

"Yeah, unfortunately," Yusuke answered. "It got away again."

"Again," Koenma repeated.

"It's kinda hard to track it," Yusuke argued, glaring at Koenma. "The only time it gives off any sorta signal is when it's feeding on someone! The minute it lets her go, it disappears. It runs off, and we can't sense which way it went. And, in case you forgot, it looks just like an average little kid. Do you want us to go around rounding up all the little four-year-old girls in the area and locking them up someplace to see if any of them have a taste for brain?"

"Obviously not, Yusuke," Koenma replied. "Dial back the sarcasm, we're all tense. Now Botan, is there anything else you'd like to ask?"

"Where's Hiei?" Botan asked.

Koenma, Ayame and George all turned expectantly to Yusuke, who shrugged.

"I don't know," he admitted.

"What about Shizuru?" Botan asked. "Where is Shizuru?"

"Uh…" Yusuke began. "That I don't know either. She's probably at home though?"

Botan took another sip of her tea, trying to pretend it was not delicious, before continuing.

"Why were you talking to her about rude things?"

Yusuke's face fell.

"I heard her tell you to stop talking about Hiei's… Man parts," Botan explained. "And she also said you'd been talking about her… Boobies."

Ayame gasped, one hand flying up to cover her mouth and she shot Yusuke a horrified, disgusted look. George slid back from the group, apparently keen to avoid any further tension.

"I… Never said that," Yusuke said.

Botan nodded.

"I did hear you tell Hiei to put his you-know-what back into his pants though," she pointed out.

"Yusuke!" Koenma yelped.

"I never said that!" Yusuke responded. "Why would I say that?"

Koenma raised one eyebrow and thinned his eyes.

"I never said that, Botan," Yusuke said to her. "That must have been something you imagined. Because of the Lure. Although… Apparently the Lure only makes you see, hear and feel things you already think, so really, you're the one Koenma should be mad at. What are you doing thinking about Hiei's dick and Shizuru's tits, Botan? Something you want to tell us?"

"You can leave, Ayame," Koenma said to the ferry girl, who had gasped so much, she was at risk of fainting.

She nodded her head and bowed to him before taking her leave. George slipped out the door behind her, leaving Botan with Koenma and Yusuke.

"What are you gonna do about this?" Yusuke asked Koenma.

"That's funny Yusuke, I was just about ask you the very same question," Koenma replied.

"Okay, I am going to find that little bitch and deliver on a promise I made to her about her elbow," Yusuke replied.

Botan frowned.

"What are you gonna do?" Yusuke asked.

"Protect Botan," Koenma replied.

"Really, this time?" Yusuke pressed.

"Yes, Yusuke."

"Because you didn't do a very good job last time."

"And you haven't done a very good job of catching that Lure!"

"I'm on it."

"Make sure you are."

"Likewise."

Yusuke nodded his head in Botan's direction, before heading for the door.

"Take it easy, Botan," he called over his shoulder. "I'm gonna help Kuwabara and Kurama catch this thing."

Koenma watched Yusuke leave, waiting until the door had closed behind him before turning to Botan.

"Botan, I have genuine concerns," he said. "It's not typical for someone to become addicted to the Lure after only one encounter with it."

Botan straightened her back.

"You-you said it was," she protested. "You said it used "catch and release", that it caught people, showed them everything they wanted, and then they would go back for more!"

"You're extremely lucky Yusuke and Kuwabara found you as quickly as they did," Koenma replied. "But I can't risk you being taken a third time. You might not come back if you go again."

"Come back?" Botan asked.

Koenma sighed and looked thoughtful and then quickly relieved when there was a knock at his door and Ayame let herself back in.

"I forgot my bowl," she said, pointing at the bowl in Botan's hands.

"Oh, sorry," Botan said, holding out the bowl towards her.

"Oh, finish your tea first though, Botan," Ayame told her.

Botan nodded and drank down half the bowl.

"What did you mean, Sir?" she asked Koenma.

"Finish your tea," Koenma replied.

Botan narrowed her eyes at him, but did as he suggested, handing the bowl back to Ayame. She muttered a quiet thank you and let herself out again.

"Botan, there's a limit to how much any soul can withstand," Koenma said carefully. "And, when something like a Lure feeds off the more positive aspects of your soul, you could reach that limit very quickly."

"Are you saying the Lure will take my soul?" Botan asked.

"Yes."

Botan nodded.

"Why did you go back to it, Botan?" he asked.

"You don't understand," she replied. "I just… I needed to see it again."

"You needed to see the Lure again?"

"No, I needed to see… The things it showed me."

"What could it possibly have shown you that was worth risking your soul to get a second look at?"

Botan looked into Koenma's eyes, wondering if she ought to tell him that she was considering risking her soul for a third look.

"Get some rest," he suggested. "I'm going to arrange some counselling for you–"

"With Hiei again?"

Koenma frowned.

"Hiei?" he asked. "Again?"

"You arranged for Hiei to talk to me after my first encounter with the Lure," Botan replied.

Koenma slowly shook his head.

"That wasn't real?" she asked.

Koenma shook his head again.

"That's quite a strange thing for you to have imagined," he commented.

Botan said no more, not wishing to draw any more attention to her own confusion.

"I'll get someone to talk to you," Koenma said. "And in the mean time, I'm going to buddy you up with Ayame."

"Why?" Botan immediately asked.

"I'm going to move you into her bedroom–"

"No!"

"–and she will keep an eye on you round the clock from now on."

"I don't want that!"

"You don't have any other choice!"

"You can't make me do this! You're treating me like a child!"

"You acted like one when you chose to go back to the Lure!"

Botan wished she still had Ayame's stupid, pretty bowl, so that she could throw it against the wall and watch it shatter into a thousand pieces.

"I'm doing this for your own good, Botan," Koenma said, his voice softer. "I need to know that you'll be safe."

Botan nodded and stood up.

"Get some sleep," Koenma suggested.

"In Ayame's bed?" Botan asked.

"You'll probably have to sleep on the floor," Koenma began. "I doubt Ayame would want to share her bed…"

His voice trailed off as he seemed to realise that Botan was not receiving what he was saying very well.

"I will arrange for the staff to carry your bed through to Ayame's room," he corrected himself. "She has a big room, we'll be able to fit two beds in there."

"She has a big room?" Botan asked, picturing her own tiny bedroom and wondering if Ayame's was bigger.

"Oh, yes, it's much bigger than the rooms the other ferry girls have," Koenma replied. "She actually has a suite."

"A suite?" Botan echoed.

"Yes, she has her bedroom, a sitting room, a small kitchen, her own bathroom with a shower and a separate bath."

Botan gave Koenma a flat look, but he appeared not to realise what he was saying.

"If you need me for anything, come and see me," he told her.

She nodded and turned to take her leave.

"Uh, Botan, before you go?"

Botan stopped but did not turn around.

"Let me just get Ayame back here to escort you up there."

"You don't trust me to go to my room on my own?"

Koenma did not answer her, but he had no need to, she already knew her assumption was correct. She stayed where she was to wait for Ayame's return, which either took a long time, or it just seemed that way as she began to become aware that standing up was causing her a throbbing pain in the point in her legs where she knew she would have wounds from the Lure. Ayame finally returned and held the door open for Botan to leave. Botan did so, falling into step beside Ayame.

"How are you feeling?" Ayame asked her.

"Weird," Botan replied.

"You don't seem yourself," Ayame said. "We'll get you set up in my room, and you can have a nice sleep. After that, I'll make you breakfast, and we could go for a walk around the gardens, if you feel up for it."

"That all sounds very nice," Botan said.

"Oh good!"

It did all sound very nice, but Botan was not in the mood for nice. She began searching up her sleeves, her fingers desperately fumbling about, but she failed to find anything concealed there, least of all the one thing she wanted.

"Are you alright there?" Ayame asked her.

"I was looking for my communicator," Botan admitted.

"Would you like to borrow mine?" Ayame offered.

"If I say yes, would you have to stay with me when I made the call?"

"Who do you need to call?"

Botan and Ayame walked along in silence for a bit as Botan considered Ayame's question. She needed to find Hiei or Shizuru – or ideally both of them – but neither of them had a communicator. Her traditional way to reach Hiei was via Yusuke, and she usually just went to see Shizuru whenever she wanted to.

"Am I allowed to visit my friends?" she eventually asked.

"Of course you are!" Ayame replied with a warm smile.

"But you have to come with me?" Botan asked.

"We can visit the girls now, if you like?" Ayame offered.

Botan looked at her questioningly and Ayame then started to look as confused as Botan felt.

"You said you wanted to visit your friends?" Ayame tried. "We can go to the social room to see the other ferry girls now, if you like?"

"I wasn't talking about the other ferry girls," Botan replied. "I don't really think the other ferry girls are my friends. Not any more. Not since I was chosen to be Assistant to the Spirit Detective."

"The other ferry girls aren't really my friends either."

Botan nodded.

"Sometimes I wonder why Koenma picked me to be Yusuke's assistant," she admitted. "I sort of always thought it was just because I happened to be the one who collected his soul the day he died."

"Oh Botan, it was much more convoluted than that!" Ayame replied.

"Really?" Botan asked.

"Of course! You were chosen over all the rest of us for a good reason."

"What reason?"

"You were the only one of us who could have done that job."

Botan nodded. The other ferry girls were too scared of demons and Ayame hated demons too much. Botan had always been the only one to judge a soul based on how she found it rather than what it was or who it belonged to. Before she could give the matter any further thought – or indeed think about anything else – they arrived at Ayame's room, and Ayame held the door open for her. Botan took several steps in before realising Koenma had not been exaggerating about Ayame having her own suite.

Botan puffed her cheeks and collapsed into an armchair. She pretended that she had meant to sit down, but really it had been luck there had been a chair nearby to her in the moment that her legs had spasmed and given way beneath her. She still was not sure when she had started hallucinated and when she had stopped and she would not believe anything was real or otherwise until she had seen and spoken to Hiei and Shizuru: but it seemed she would not be able to see or speak to either of them as long as she was under Ayame's watch.

"So if you weren't talking about seeing the other ferry girls, who did you mean?" Ayame asked, almost on cue.

Botan narrowed her eyes, finding the question to have been almost too conveniently timed. Almost as though she was having an illusion, where everything fitted together a little too perfectly.

"Was it Yusuke?" Ayame asked, sitting down in an armchair that faced the one Botan was sitting in.

"No," Botan replied. "I meant my friends in the human world."

"Oh, you have friends in the human world?" Ayame asked.

"And also…" Botan began, trying to choose her words carefully. "My friends in Demon World."

A hand flew up to cover Ayame's mouth and Botan resisted the urge to respond.

"I can't go to Demon World with you," Ayame said. "But I could take you to the living world. Tomorrow, though. You should get some sleep tonight. We can go in the morning."

Botan nodded before looking around the room.

"This is a big space you have," she commented.

"For a long time, I was the only ferry girl in Spirit World," Ayame replied.

Botan refocused her attention on Ayame.

"You're a lot older than I thought you were," she commented.

Ayame smiled.

"Yes," she agreed. "In terms of my life, the other ferry girls are all quite young and new to the job. Especially you. You're the youngest and the newest."

Botan had never considered the fact that she had been the most recent ferry girl to join the team, but she supposed the others had all been in post when she had started her training, so that was probably correct. She supposed that was why Ayame was so aloof: she had been the only one for so long, she had been unique, until the others came along.

"Get some sleep," Ayame said. "You can take my bed."

Botan glanced in the direction Ayame indicated, towards a separate room, but shook her head.

"I'll just sleep here," she said, getting up and moving carefully over to a nearby sofa.

"That's a futon, it pulls out into a bed," Ayame offered.

"I'm fine," Botan lied, curling up on the sofa, turned towards the back of it.

She intended to wait until Ayame left before doing anything else, but consequently realised she must have fallen asleep before that happened, because the next thing she remembered was waking up to the sound of crockery being moved about. She sat up, her head spinning and body aching far worse than it had before she lay down, and shuffled around into a seated position on the sofa. She rubbed her eyes, but found that even that took effort, her arms feeling too heavy to be held in that position. She let her arms fall to her sides and blinked blearily, looking up at Ayame, who looked unfairly fresh and flawless.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Ayame asked her.

She was holding a butter knife in her hand, and Botan's eyes gravitated towards it. In the same moment that light from the window twinkled against the metal of the knife, Botan was on her feet and moving towards the window.

"Are you feeling better?" Ayame asked her.

Botan began fumbling with the catch of the window.

"You can open that, let some air in," Ayame offered.

Botan finally got the catch open and threw the window open as wide as it would go before hoisting herself up to sit on the edge of the window-frame.

"What are you doing?" Ayame gasped, dropping the knife with a clatter.

Botan held onto the window-frame either side of herself and leaned back, peering up at the exterior walls of the temple.

"Botan?" Ayame said warily.

Botan leaned back into the room and Ayame silently – but visibly – sighed with relief. Botan summoned her oar and dropped out of the window.

"Botan!" Ayame yelped, running over to the window.

Sitting a little clumsily on her oar, Botan drifted up, somewhat jerkily, inspecting the wall as she went.

"Botan, where are you going?"

Botan turned her head to find Ayame hovering in the air beside her.

"What happened?" Botan asked, pointing at the wall.

Ayame looked at the wall, scanning over it frantically.

"Nothing," she concluded. "Why, did you hear something?"

She looked at Botan, looking almost desperate.

"Where are the swords?" Botan asked her.

"What swords?" Ayame asked, shaking her head as she spoke.

"The big black swords," Botan asked, pointing at the vast, plain wall ahead of them. "There were two giant swords, crossed, on this wall."

Ayame shook her head.

"There was," Botan insisted. "I saw it."

"There's never been anything like that out here," Ayame said quietly. "Or anywhere on, or in, the temple."

Botan looked at the wall again.

"That doesn't make sense," she concluded. "Why would I imagine something like that? That's not something I want. I didn't like it. Looking at it made me feel funny."

"I don't know why you would imagine something like that either," Ayame said. "Unless it was something the Lure showed you to try to scare you."

Botan turned to look at Ayame again.

"That's not how the Lure works," she said.

"I think it is," Ayame replied.

Botan narrowed her eyes.

"The Lure shows its victims things that they want," she said.

"Yes, but it could also show you things you don't like, to deter you from trying to wake up," Ayame replied.

Botan turned fully towards Ayame.

"I know what I'm talking about," Botan told her.

"As do I," Ayame replied.

Botan gave Ayame a hard, scrutinising look, but she maintained her air of cool indifference.

"Have you ever been taken by a Lure?" she asked.

"No," Ayame replied. "But I have read about them. In a book."

Botan's face fell.

"When Lord Koenma said there was a Lure loose in the human world, I made a point of learning about them," Ayame continued. "Any time Lord Koenma tells me there is a demon in the human realm, I learn all I can about them. I could have met it while I was out performing my duties. I had to be prepared."

Botan nodded.

"What have you learnt then?" she asked.

"The Lure is a hybrid animal demon," Ayame replied.

Botan smiled.

"Yusuke would have enjoyed that," she said. "He loves it when the information Spirit World produce is so far from the truth."

Ayame frowned.

"The book I read told me the Lure is part spider, part–"

"It's humanoid," Botan cut in. "It looks just like a little girl."

"Really?" Ayame asked. "That wasn't in the book…"

"It does build a web though," Botan offered. "I suppose that's why the "scholars" of Spirit World thought it might be a spider."

"I see," Ayame said. "So it was part right."

"No," Botan disagreed.

"The part about the Lure having insect limbs was correct though."

Botan screwed up her face.

"What sort of little girls have you ever seen that have "insect limbs", Ayame?"

"And the feet of a–"

"Human, Ayame. It was human."

Botan drifted back in through the window and dropped off her oar, letting it vanish behind her. Ayame followed her back inside, banishing her oar and closing the window.

"I spent a lot of time researching that," Ayame muttered.

"Well you wasted your time," Botan flatly replied. "I could show you what it looks like."

Ayame paused, mid-step.

"I think I could probably find it again," Botan continued. "The last time I woke up, it spoke to me, and I was able to find it."

Ayame turned her head towards Botan.

"Are you saying you want to take me to the Lure?" she asked in a low voice.

"Just to show you what it looks like, of course," Botan replied.

Ayame shook her head.

"It could take you or me if we went anywhere near it!" she said.

Botan shook her head.

"I know what I'm doing," she said. "I'll be able to control it this time. I only went back to it to ask it a question, but I know the answer now. So if I met it again, I wouldn't have anything to say to it. I could meet it again and not let it take me."

Ayame's face flickered through a range of expressions.

"Are you saying you let it take you the last time you met it?" she asked cautiously.

Botan did not answer her, but mostly because she was not sure how to. She could not really remember how or when her last encounter with the Lure had changed from them sitting on the stone bench having a conversation to her being encased in webbing and out cold.

"It's too dangerous," Ayame said. "We'll stay here. Where it's safe."

Botan watched Ayame go back to preparing breakfast before turning her attention to the twin bookshelves her room was big enough to readily accommodate. She walked along them back and forth before stopping abruptly as she noticed something amiss. In any other bookcase, she undoubtedly would have missed what she saw, but Ayame's books were so rigidly aligned, arranged by title and each shelf hosting a different subject, the one shelf where some of the books were slightly squint stood out. Botan slid her hand into a gap between the bottom of two books, her fingers closing around a sealed plastic bag. She retrieved it, holding it up and inspecting the contents.

"What's this?" she asked, turning to Ayame with her find.

Ayame turned with a smile, but her face dropped, her eyes grew large and all the colour drained from her cheeks when she saw the plastic bag of crushed leaves, flowers and berries in Botan's hand.

"I pick my own tea leaves," Ayame said, hurrying over to join Botan. "That's why my tea tastes so good! This is my own special blend!"

She took hold of the bag and tried to pull it from Botan's hand, but Botan held onto it, glaring over it suspiciously at her fellow ferry girl.

"I save it for my friends," Ayame added, grabbing the bag with both hands and pulling harder.

"Why do you hide it?" Botan asked.

"Because if everyone tasted it, I would spend all my time just making tea!"

As Botan was still a little weakened, and only holding the bag in one hand, Ayame finally managed to wrestle it out of her grip. She hurriedly stuffed the bag back into its hiding place, realigning the books either side of it to conceal its location as best as she possibly could.

"Don't worry, I used it to make our tea this morning," Ayame assured her.

Botan turned to look at the tell-tale triangle cave between the books.

"Now I know you like tamagoyaki, would you like some toast with it?" Ayame asked, moving back over to her kitchen area.

Botan swallowed hard. She was still not really sure what was real and what was fake, but she knew that Ayame concocting secret blends of tea and hiding them was something that made no sense, something that seemed dark and sinister: something that seemed like the perfect imperfection her imagination mind impose upon an otherwise perfect person.

Botan held out one hand, her metal bat appearing in it. This was just a hallucination. She could hit Ayame as hard as she wanted. It would be alright. It was all fake.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan escapes Ayame and heads off to the living world to find Shizuru – because Shizuru is the only person she can trust to be real, right? But when Botan does find Shizuru, she finds her in a situation that seems even more deceitful and unrealistic than Ayame hiding secrets, and so Botan goes to see the only one who can definitively tell her whether she is awake or not: the Lure. **Chapter 15: In My Dreams**


	15. In My Dreams

**Last Chapter:** Botan woke up to find the Lure had taken her again, and Yusuke and Kuwabara were rescuing her from its lair. Yusuke took her to Spirit World, where Koenma decreed that Botan must stay in Spirit World from now on, and further stay under the watch of Ayame. Botan disliked the idea, and when she found Ayame was giving her tea from a secret stash of "special" tea she kept hidden, Botan concluded she was having a hallucination, and decided to assault Ayame to escape her.

* * *

**Chapter 15: In My Dreams**

Botan remained in the same position for several seconds, her arms outstretched, her bat held out in the air at the point where it had collided with Ayame's head. She had not expected Ayame to go down so hard from just one blow. She moved her eyes from her bat to Ayame, lying still and silent on the ground, and then over to the kitchen counter, where Ayame had just plated a still-steaming tamagoyaki. Botan banished her oar, stepped one foot over Ayame and grabbed up the warm egg roll. She took a bite and nodded her appreciation, stepping back over Ayame and moving to the window. She continued eating her breakfast with one hand whilst clumsily opening the window with the other. She hopped up into the windowframe and pushed the last of the food into her mouth, sucking the ends of her fingers before summoning her oar and leaping outside.

Botan flew swiftly and directly to the nearest portal, choosing the nearest one rather than the one that would take her where she wished to go, as she knew that she needed to get out of Spirit World as quickly as possible, before she was noticed missing. She arrived in the living world some distance from where she needed to be, and so elected to stay above the cloud-line until she was closer to her destination. She was still a little weak, and the wounds in her arms and legs ached, but her resolution was sound, and the determination gave her the strength required to fly fast and smooth. She spent a little time straightening out her dishevelled clothing as she flew, before tidying up her ponytail (although she acknowledged it was still messy) and finally dropping below the clouds as she moved over the skies of Sarayashiki city.

Continuing with her intention of hiding herself, Botan opted to approach her destination from a different angle to the one she would usually take. Rather than flying down to the front door of the house, she instead approached the side of the house, aiming for a window on the upper floor there. She was not sure what time of day it was or even what day it was, but she was hoping to find Shizuru in her bedroom. In that moment, there were only three people Botan could think of who could honestly tell her where she was – Shizuru, Hiei and the Lure – and Shizuru was the easiest to find, the safest to approach and would be the gentlest in both listening to her and giving her advice.

Botan slowed as she neared the window, but stopped completely when she saw Shizuru inside the room, pacing about, apparently talking to someone, as her mouth was moving. Botan drifted slightly closer, but remained back, as something seemed amiss. Shizuru eventually finished her speech, lowering her head and touching the fingers of one hand to her forehead. She held her position briefly before turning around and walking decisively to one side of the room. Botan drifted in the opposite direction, peering around the edge of the window-frame to see what Shizuru was doing. She had stopped in front of her bed, and another slight adjustment of position showed Botan why.

Hiei was sitting on the edge of Shizuru's bed.

He looked up at her and said something, an amused smirk appearing on his face as he spoke. Shizuru bent over, placing her hands on his shoulders. She said something directly to his face before kissing him on his bandana-clad forehead.

The wind burned tears into Botan's eyes as she raced through the air. Sometimes that was something the wind did. And, apparently, sometimes even the most senior ferry girl hated her, and her best friend betrayed her, and her boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend.

Within minutes Botan had reached Genkai's temple. It looked desolate, being uninhabited and the gardens dulled over by the January weather, but Botan knew it was where she needed to be. She dropped from her oar and marched on, letting it fall to the ground behind her. She continued up the path to the temple entrance, stopping several feet back from the steps as she finally spotted the little girl sitting on the top step, smiling at her in a way that made her look cute and harmless.

"Back again?" the Lure asked.

"Maybe," Botan replied. "It depends."

"On what?" the Lure asked.

"On where I'm coming back from," Botan replied. "Or… Where I'm going back to."

"Oh dear."

"Am I still hallucinating?"

"Do you feel like you are?"

"I-I don't know."

"Do you like what's happening in your life right now?"

"No."

"Did you like it when you were sleeping in my lair?"

"N-not really."

The Lure looked confused.

"The first time it was amazing," Botan explained. "But the second time… It wasn't as good. It… Felt just the same as this… Whatever this is…"

"Hm," the Lure said, nodding pensively. "I didn't increase the amount of venom I gave you. Maybe you built a tolerance. You must be more resilient than I gave you credit for. I didn't really enjoy hosting you, but I thought that was largely down to the interference of your friends."

"Well… Maybe you should…"

The Lure grinned, that too-wide to be human grin, and stood up.

"Maybe I should what, Botan?" it asked.

"Maybe you should…"

Botan placed a hand on her wrist, and slid up her sleeve, taking a moment to look at the wound on her arm. It looked less angry than it had the day before, but it was far from healed.

"Will it hurt…?" she muttered.

"No," the Lure softly replied.

"Not at all?"

"Not at all."

"Not even if…"

"If?"

"If you give me more."

"It won't hurt."

"I mean… Give me more venom."

"I can do that. And you won't feel any pain. Only pleasure. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Botan nodded. The image of her arm blurred, but that was just because there was still a strong wind stinging her eyes.

"Don't cry," the Lure said.

Botan let her sleeve fall, her eyes moving to the thick ropes of webbing snaking around her ankles.

"It'll all be over soon."

* * *

"Botan?"

Botan blinked, trying to focus her eyes.

"Hello?" Keiko sang. "Earth to Botan! Someone's awful dreamy today!"

Botan blinked and everything became clear. She looked across at Keiko, who was smiling at her expectantly.

"That wasn't bad news, was it?"

Botan looked down at her communication mirror, sitting open on her palm, the screen dark.

"The call from Koenma?" Keiko pressed. "What was it about?"

Botan opened her mouth, glancing back and forth between her communicator and Keiko.

"Hey, moon-face," Shizuru said, smiling at Botan. "Do you have to go, or can we finish this picnic?"

Botan looked around Shizuru, Keiko and Yukina, all watching her expectantly. She slowly closed her communication mirror and pushed it up her sleeve. A pretty floral picnic blanket was laid out in front of her, decorated with all the wonderful things Keiko had brought for Shizuru's surprise birthday picnic, and an ornate porcelain vase of beautiful flowers stood in the centre, a thoughtful contribution from Yukina.

"It was nothing," Botan said. "Let's finish the picnic."

"Oh good!" Keiko said with a sigh. "I was worried it was another mess Yusuke would get dragged into!"

"Yeah, my brother really doesn't need anything else distracting him from his studies right now," Shizuru agreed.

"Anything else?" Botan asked.

Shizuru and Keiko both nodded in Yukina's direction and Botan mouthed an "oh" of realisation.

"Have some cake, Botan," Keiko said.

Botan looked down to see a wedge of the multi-layered strawberry cream cake Keiko had made sitting on a plate in front of her. She picked it up, lifting the small cake fork from the plate and pressing it into the sponge, watching it bend and break under the pressure.

"The cake is delicious, Keiko," Yukina commented.

Botan closed her mouth over the chunk of cake on the end of her fork and smiled: delicious was an understatement. The sponge was so moist, the cream melted smoothly against her tongue, the taste blending to perfection with the tang of the strawberry she had bitten into within the sponge.

"The cake is divine, Keiko," she said through a mouthful of food.

"Thank you, both of you," Keiko replied.

"This is nice," Shizuru said with a sigh. "Thanks, girls."

The others nodded and continued eating as Keiko shared with them stories about Kuwabara and Kurama and how they were coping with life on campus. Once they were finished, Shizuru helped Keiko pack away her things, Yukina handed the flowers – in the vase – to Shizuru and told her to keep them as a gift, and Botan retrieved her picnic blanket, folding it up and cuddling it to her chest. Keiko drove Shizuru home and then took Yukina to Genkai's temple. Yukina got out the car and Botan followed her.

"It's quick for me to get back to Spirit World from here," Botan said. "Thank you, Keiko!"

Keiko bid them goodbye and set off. Botan and Yukina walked up the temple path together, stopping several feet short of the temple steps.

"Don't you get awfully lonely living up here on your own?" Botan asked Yukina.

"I have plenty to do here," Yukina replied. "I love tending the gardens, growing vegetables and fruits and cooking."

"I suppose," Botan agreed.

"And besides Botan, I'm not alone up here."

Botan frowned but Yukina smiled and purposefully moved her large eyes to one side. Botan turned her head in the direction Yukina indicated, where, after a few seconds of searching, she eventually noticed a pair of legs, in baggy black pants and short black boots, standing on a tree branch high up in a tree, the remainder of the figure hidden in the shadows. Botan nodded and turned back to Yukina with a smile.

"Take care, Yukina," she said. "I'll see you again soon."

Yukina nodded and started off towards the temple. Botan turned to walk down the temple path. She looked back over her shoulder, giving one last wave as Yukina disappeared into the temple. When she turned back, she saw a blur of motion and Hiei dropped out of the tree he had been (unsuccessfully) hiding in.

"She could see you, you know Hiei," Botan greeted him.

"I meant for her to see me," Hiei replied.

"Really?"

Hiei gave her one of his hard looks, and she knew that he was lying, too proud to admit that he had been found out.

"She's fine," she said, deciding not to push him any further on the matter. "She's happy."

"Yes," he said.

"But… It's nice that you still keep an eye on her."

Hiei maintained his hard look.

"I keep an eye on you too," he said.

"You do?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied. "In case you forget and tell her."

Botan nodded.

"I won't say anything," she said. "I promise."

"Yes, you do promise," Hiei replied. "But then you get all giddy, and you forget yourself."

"I don't get giddy!" Botan complained.

"You get giddy."

"No I don't!"

"You do."

"When?"

"All the time."

Botan gasped.

"Name one time!" she challenged.

"Two weeks ago," Hiei replied, without hesitation.

"Two weeks ago? That was… Christmas?"

"Yusuke kissed Keiko underneath a weed, and you got giddy."

"That was different."

"And then Kuwabara asked Yukina if she would step under the weed with him and you said he shouldn't ask her that when her brother was in the room."

Botan's face fell.

"Giddy," Hiei said.

"Tipsy," Botan corrected him. "I had a little drinky-poo… I blame Shizuru."

"Call it what you will," Hiei said. "It still means I have to watch you."

Botan nodded.

"But not all the time," she said.

"Just about," Hiei answered.

"Not when I'm in the shower?"

Botan swallowed carefully, hoping she had not physically shivered when a rush of feeling flooded her chest at the very idea of Hiei watching her when she was in the shower, naked, exposed, unaware.

"I check on your periodically," Hiei cryptically replied.

"But not when I'm in the shower?" Botan asked again.

"I check periodically," Hiei replied. "Sometimes I catch you speaking to Yukina and risking saying something you shouldn't."

"What about the other times?"

Hiei gave her what was as close as he ever came to a questioning look.

"You said sometimes you catch me talking to Yukina," she explained. "What about the other times."

"The other times you are doing things I don't need to make you stop doing."

Botan bit her lip and shifted her weight awkwardly.

"What sort of things?" she asked.

Hiei looked at her for a protracted moment before a glint appeared in his eyes and his mouth curled into that smirk he got when he was about to unleash a hidden move on an opponent who had underestimated his skill and strength.

"Don't worry, Botan," he said in a smooth voice that made her more worried than his usual tone would have. "I don't watch for too long."

Botan gasped and Hiei's grin widened enough to briefly flash his teeth before he leapt back up into the tree in a blur of black. Botan looked up, but he continued jumping from treetop to treetop, soon disappearing in the depths of the forest. Once he had disappeared entirely, Botan summoned her oar and rose up into the sky, taking one last look down at the trees, but failed to see any trace of him, his speed having taken him well out of her range already.

"He didn't say he doesn't watch me when I'm in the shower," she muttered to herself, before turning towards the nearest portal to Spirit World with a smile.

Back in Spirit World, the sky was that deep shade of magenta it turned in early evening, and although there were other things she could have done, Botan decided just to go to her room. On instinct, she flew around the back of the temple, towards the row of windows that belonged to the ferry girls' quarters. As she reached her destination, she noticed a series of things, each one making her feel more at ease. Firstly, there were no crossed swords on the temple wall. Secondly, all the rooms were in darkness, including Ayame's. And lastly, and most importantly, Botan could not access her room, because her window was shut, because she never left it open.

Finally, things made sense.

Botan flew around to the front of the temple again, diving down to the front entrance and hopping off her oar. She enjoyed a reasonably easy walk through the first corridor before reaching the central part of the temple, where, as expected, she was met with utter chaos. Botan smiled to herself as she dodged and weaved her way through the harried bodies racing around, finding it oddly satisfying to see such a typical sight. She smiled and nodded greetings to anyone who happened to look her way, skipping between and around them until she was out the other side. She ran up a flight of steps and turned off to one side, shortly passing through a door that led her back into the ferry girls' quarters. She skipped all the way to her own door, slipping inside and breathing a sigh of relief.

After a quick look around, she took herself into her small en suite, stripping off her clothes and stepping into the shower. She turned on the water and untied her hair before stepping fully under the flow of water. The water was just the perfect temperature and flow, and she closed her eyes, tilting her head back, smoothing her hands down the side of her head to ensure her hair was wet through.

In that position, she wondered if Hiei was watching her.

Botan slowly tilted her chin downwards, opening her eyes and blinking away the water from her eyelashes. Sometimes, just thinking about Hiei, especially imagining if he might be watching her, was enough to draw him to her. It had happened in the past: she had been thinking about how he might react if she said anything to Yukina about their relation and he had invaded her thoughts. Maybe if she thought about him when she was in the shower, he would hear her. Maybe he would see her. Maybe he would even come to her.

Botan licked her lips and drew in a shuddering breath of anticipation as she noticed a dark shadow on the other side of her frosted glass shower door. She was quivering – with excitement, with anticipation, with expectation – as she turned towards the shadow and reached out a hand to open the door. She licked her lips again and exhaled a steadying breath before sliding open the door and finding herself face-to-face with her towel rack.

Botan started laughing at her own ridiculousness, forgetting that the towels were hanging on the other side of the door. She stepped back, yelping as her bare back, warmed by the shower water, collided with the cold tile wall. She then laughed at herself harder, sliding the shower door closed and stepping under the water again. She felt silly, but in the best possible way.

And life felt good.

* * *

Botan woke up in the morning with a smile. She cuddled into her pillow and her bedsheets, taking a moment to remember the dream she had enjoyed while she had been asleep. She had dreamt about Hiei, that when she had opened the shower door the night before, the shadow behind the door had been him, and not just her towels hanging on the towel rail. He had smiled at her in that same dark, seductive way he had when he had teased her about watching her, and he had stepped into the shower towards her. She had stepped back to make room for him and his body had collided with hers, pinning her to the tiles as he moved in for a kiss. Underneath the onslaught of the shower, they had kissed, passionately, and he had run his hands down her sides and over the curve of her hips before reaching around the backs of her thighs and lifting her up. She had wrapped her legs around his waist and let him carry her to her bed, where he had thrown her down and leapt onto her, ravishing her body with kisses before making love to her.

It was a nice thought, but dreams were just that: dreams. And it had just been something she had seen, not something she had actually felt. And now that she had witnessed the idea, she wanted to act it out. She wanted to feel it.

Botan threw off her bedsheets and sat up in her bed, and from nowhere, the idea occurred to her that she could just lie down, close her eyes, picture her dream scene again, and touch herself.

Botan slowly swung her legs over the edge of her bed. That thought had never occurred to her before. Where had that come from?

Had Hiei put that idea there? Had he sensed her thinking about him – as he was prone to do – and implanted that idea? And if so, why?

So that he could watch her?

Botan squeezed her thighs together and bit her lip and tried to focus. A small part of her was already theorising that if she were to just lie down and start touching herself, she might soon get the answer to whether or not Hiei had put the idea in her head, because he might talk to her: telepathically or in person.

Botan looked at her bedroom window. She laughed, getting to her feet and throwing it open. It was literally impossible for Hiei to come to her via that route. Her window was so high off the ground and on such an expanse of flat wall, it was literally only accessible by flight. The only way Hiei could reach her bedroom window would be if Yusuke took him there on Puu, or if Kurama brought him there using his Floating Leaf. And that would be silly. They would drop him off, he would come into her room as she was touching herself, and what then? What would Yusuke or Kurama do?

Maybe they would watch.

Botan stepped back into her room and slammed her window shut. She cleared her throat and cleared her mind and set about getting ready for the day ahead. She was up quite early (mostly because she had gone to bed early to think about Hiei) and so she had time to go to the dining hall and have breakfast. It sounded like a nice idea, and so she followed through with it, filling a tray with food and moving over to join a table with five other ferry girls already at it. They made pleasantries for a bit before one of the girls asked a question that made Botan pause for thought.

"Should we ask Ayame if she wants to join us?"

Botan leaned to one side, peering past the girl directly across from her. In the very corner of the hall, at a small table with only the one chair, Ayame was sitting alone, one hand holding a spoon over a bowl of soup, the other holding a book she was apparently so engrossed in, she had forgotten to continue eating her breakfast.

"She's always busy with something," one of the girls commented.

Botan took the last mouthful of food from her tray and stood up, wiping the corners of her mouth on a napkin and then moving across the hall. She was not really sure that the other girls had been suggesting she should be the one to approach Ayame, but she felt that she ought to and so she did.

"Ayame?"

Ayame made a noise of acknowledgement but did not look up at Botan until she had finished reading the passage she was on, at which point she turned to Botan and dipped her spoon into her soup.

"Hello, Botan," she said.

"The girls and I were wondering if you wanted to join us for breakfast?" Botan asked, indicating the table she had come from with one hand.

Ayame sipped the soup from her spoon before smiling tightly.

"No thank you," she said. "I really have to finish this book."

Botan leaned to one side to see the cover of the book Ayame was so engrossed in. It was one of the ancient books from the restricted part of the Spirit World library, one of those with the etched leather jacket that smelled mouldy. An old, outdated book, that probably contained inaccurate information.

"Well, if you change your mind…?" Botan offered.

"No," Ayame said. "But thank you for the offer."

Ayame turned her attention fully back to her book and Botan turned her back on her. She wished Ayame would relax a little, learn to let go, to have some fun, to experience genuine excitement, to know the thrill of being a part of something bigger than the duties of a ferry girl. But, she supposed, Ayame was what she was, and what she was was a very plain-thinking, controlled person, who never felt – or indeed even wanted to feel – the highs and the lows of a more dynamic existence.

Botan cleared her dishes from the table and left the other ferry girls, heading out to collect her task list for the day. It looked reasonable, which was a pleasant surprise, as she had taken the previous day off for Shizuru's birthday, and she had expected to return to an increased workload. But she set out and was halfway through her list before long, only realising as she reached the next item on the list exactly where she was going.

She had been to that place so many times, collecting the souls of those who had unfortunately passed after accidentally crossing into Demon World, but it was rare that she ever saw Hiei there, and so when he was there that day, although she was surprised to see him, she was a little anxious at the prospect of facing him, especially after their last encounter: and the fact that she had been thinking about him so much the night before and that morning.

"You're late," Hiei commented as she slid from her oar to his side.

"No I'm not!" she protested.

Hiei turned his head to one side and Botan followed his gaze, finding the girl's soul was running around on the hillside in a panic.

"Oh," she said. "Perhaps I am a little behind schedule…"

"Maybe if hadn't spent so long in the shower this morning," Hiei muttered.

"I didn't have a shower this morning!" Botan immediately replied, hoping that, by correcting his false accusation, the redness would fade from her cheeks.

"Not literally."

Botan opened her mouth to ask what he meant, but before she could lend voice to her thoughts, her mind flooded with exactly what she had done that morning after she had woken up: she had laid in her bed recalling a dream she had enjoyed the night before about Hiei arriving in her shower and carrying her off to ravish her.

"You don't know that for sure," she said quietly, looking down at her feet as she poked the toe of her sandal at a stray pebble.

"I do," he replied. "You're still thinking about it now."

"Only because you brought it up!" Botan wailed.

Hiei moved his eyes to her, regarding her with a sidelong look she found accusatory.

"It was a dream, Hiei!" she protested. "I just dreamt that you whisked me out of the shower and carried me to my bed and had your way with me! I can't control what I dream about! And I was only thinking about it this morning because I had just dreamt it, and it was the first thing on my mind when I woke up! And then I only thought about it just now because you brought it up!"

Hiei blinked and a hint of a smile appeared on his face.

"Don't tell Yusuke or Kurama that I liked the idea of them watching me touching myself for you," she said quietly.

Hiei turned fully towards her, a dark grin spreading over his face, his eyes brightening.

"It's really unfair of you to watch me like that, Hiei," she said with a sulky pout. "Without my permission. Sneaking into my private thoughts… It's rude."

"I wasn't watching you," Hiei replied. "I haven't looked into your thoughts at all in the last couple of days: but as you can see, I don't need to. You tell me it all regardless."

Botan's jaw dropped with a horrified gasp.

"Hiei!" she squealed.

"You've always had a big mouth," he replied. "Maybe you should think about better ways of using it."

"Like what?"

Hiei slowly raised his chin, and the change in angle of his face reminded Botan of a thought she had enjoyed once before, of her stripping off her clothes while he watched her, and then kneeling down in front of him. She licked her lips and he let out a small chuckle.

"You know exactly what," he said.

"Don't look at me like that, Hiei!" she moaned. "You put that idea in my head!"

"I didn't need to," he replied with a smirk.

He ran his eyes over her before making a grunt of amused self-satisfaction and turning towards the glimmering tear between the human and demon worlds.

"You can't go!" Botan cried, reaching out a hand towards him. "Not now! Not like this!"

He looked back over his shoulder at her, none of the smug confidence gone from his eyes.

"You can't just…" Botan began. "Leave me like this!"

"Like what?" he asked.

"Like this!"

Botan waved her hands up and down the length of her body.

"Your lack of willpower is your own problem, not mine," he plainly replied, turning his head from her.

"You can't tease me like that and just walk away!" she snapped.

Hiei turned around to face her.

"You're a little indisposed at the moment," he said.

"No I'm not!" Botan argued.

Hiei pointedly looked in the direction of the teenage girl's soul that was still running rampant around the hillside.

"Well, I only have…"

Botan retrieved her list and scanned it over.

"Another…" she said slowly. "Twenty or thirty souls to collect."

"In that case, some other time," Hiei said, taking a step back, moving himself closer to the portal back to his home world.

"You knew I was busy!" she wailed. "You did that deliberately!"

"I haven't done anything. You're the one working yourself into a frenzy over your own lack of self-control."

"I do not lack self-control!"

Hiei took another step backwards, the portal shimmering around him as his back touched against it.

"You can't leave me here like this!" Botan yelled.

"Maybe you're the one torturing me," Hiei replied in a low voice. "Did you ever consider that?"

Botan started to ask him what he had meant, but her voice trailed off and her eyes wandered downwards, and she was once more left with the thought that it was unfortunate Hiei wore such slack pants, because they made it impossible to verify what she was sure he meant.

"You're a dirty girl."

Botan gasped and lifted her eyes back to Hiei's face, but she only caught a glimpse of his smirk before he disappeared through the portal, returning to Demon World.

"Well you are a dirty boy, Hiei!" she yelled, despite knowing he would no longer be able to hear her.

She bent down and retrieved the pebble she had been kicking and threw it at the portal. It merely passed through the air and landed a short distance beyond the point where Hiei had disappeared. Not satisfied with this, Botan grabbed up handfuls of grass and threw them pointlessly at the portal, yelping in frustration as blades of grass rained down around her. She eventually dropped to the ground, sitting there pouting at the disappearing portal ahead of her.

"So mean…" she grumbled.

"What is happening?" a voice to her right cried out. "Why is my body over there?"

Botan turned her head to see the soul she was due to collect still tearing around the hillside. She sighed and got to her feet, brushing the grass from her clothing and picking pieces from her ponytail. She felt infuriated, frustrated (in more ways than one), impatient and tortured. It was awful and it was wonderful. She hated it and she loved it.

She had never felt more alive.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan is living in a fantasy (pardon the pun), living a fairy tale where she is the heroine (poorly chosen pun). Life is exciting and fantastic, Hiei is flirtatious and sexy and life is one big party. Spirit World is fun, Botan earns another day off to go to a dinner party and she convinces her friends to give her a sexy makeover for seeing Hiei there. **Chapter 16: Alive**


	16. Alive

**Last Chapter:** Botan attacked Ayame and sought out the Lure (again), where, for the first time, she asked the Lure to take her. She then found herself back at Shizuru's birthday picnic, where everything was perfect. After a flirty encounter with Hiei, and encountering a typically distant Ayame in Spirit World, she bumped into Hiei during her duties, and found him even more delightfully flirty.

* * *

**Chapter 16: Alive**

After finally finishing her shift for the day, Botan returned to Spirit World, entering the busy central part of the temple just in time to catch a large pile of papers an ogre was in the process of dropping. He thanked her profusely as she helped him reorganise the papers into two manageable piles, one on each of his arms, and she welcomed his praise with a smile. Once he was secured and back on his way, Botan continued through the melee, wending her way towards the staircase that led to the wing of the temple her room was located within. Again, it was very early for her to be retiring to her room already, but she was keen to have another shower and go to sleep early. And possibly dream some more.

Once inside her room, she wasted no time throwing off her clothes and getting into the shower, standing under the perfectly heated and pressurised water that no shower in the human world ever truly matched. As the water fell over her body, she smoothed her hands over her stomach, stopping as the tips of her fingers neared the apex of her thighs. She started to think again about touching herself – and again she was sure that was somehow Hiei's fault – and as the thought filled her mind, she let one hand slide down between her legs, her fingers hovering just shy of their goal. It was an exciting idea, but not nearly as exciting as the idea of Hiei being there. Catching her. Calling her a "dirty girl" like he had earlier.

Botan shivered all over at the thought, turning her head slightly to look at the dark shape through the frosted glass of her shower door. She knew it was her towels on her towel rack but imagining that it was Hiei made the moment seem more tantalising. She bit her lip and took a deep breath, readying herself to do it, to touch herself, to imagine it was Hiei's hand guiding her pleasure. The moment before she moved her fingers, the dark shape outside her shower moved.

Botan gasped, her hand shooting up to her chest. When the shape moved again, she whipped open the door, watching as her towels slide a little further, before falling to the ground entirely. She looked down at them on the floor for a moment before laughing at herself and closing the door again. She shook her head at her own silliness and finished up in the shower before getting into her pyjamas and tucking up her hair. She moved over to close her curtains but paused for a moment, looking out over the back of the temple. It was early evening, twilight hour, and everything looked soft and warm. It was a lovely view, but the only thing Botan could think about was how unfortunate it was that she was so high up. It was a vista that was only visible from height, but she wished she had a room down in the orges' quarters, overlooking nothing but another wall of the temple, because that way, with a ground level window, it would be possible for Hiei to sneak into her room in the middle of the night, and she did really, really like that idea.

Too bad it was impossible in reality, and would only ever be something she had imagined during a hallucination.

Botan sighed and closed her curtains, before turning and crawling into her bed. She settled down and closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep. Maybe she would dream about Hiei coming to her window. It was maybe impossible in reality, but anything was possible in her dreams.

"Kurama, do we really have to send him back in there?"

Botan was at the Dark Tournament, dressed and ready to be Team Manager. Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara were standing ringside, ahead of her.

"Yes, Yusuke," Kurama answered.

"He's not ready to go back in there!" Yusuke argued. "He's still messed up from the last fight!"

"But he is the only one of us who can go," Kurama reminded Yusuke.

"There's gotta be some other way," Yusuke tried.

Kurama shook his head.

"It's too bad he's so stubborn," Kuwabara commented. "I'm sure my lovely Yukina would have helped him heal that wound."

"I don't think it works like that, Kuwabara," Yusuke said, sounding uncharacteristically dark.

"I don't know if that would have worked or not," Kurama said, when Yusuke turned to him expectantly.

"Hearing you admit you don't know somthing is never a good feeling," Yusuke muttered.

Botan lifted her eyes from them to the ring ahead. For whatever reason, Hiei had climbed into the ring from the opposite side – the side belonging to the enemy team – and he did, as Yusuke had implied, look like he was still suffering from an earlier battle. His shirt was torn in several places and clinging to his body, slick with blood. His bandana was equally drenched in blood, so much so that small rivulets of blood were trickling down either side of his nose from it. His head was forwards, but angled slightly downwards, casting his face mostly in shadow. Despite his condition, his eyes were bright and clear, staring forwards with determination. He took a few steps towards Botan and the boys, but he was dragging one of his legs, the smear of blood left behind on the ground by every drag indicating he had been extensively wounded in that leg somewhere too.

"Could he die?"

Botan turned to Kuwabara upon his question.

"Don't be ridiculous, Kuwabara!" Yusuke said. "That bug-eyed, beaky bastard ain't strong enough to kill Hiei. Right, Kurama?"

Botan turned to Kurama, the solemn, hardened look on his face, combined with his lack of a response to the question, doing little to ease her mounting concerns.

"Kurama?" Yusuke asked, his confidence gone from his voice.

"We must hope this is the final round," Kurama eventually answered.

It was an answer, but it neither confirmed nor denied that Hiei's life could be in danger. Botan turned her attention back to Hiei, watching as he raised one hand, reaching it out in front of him. A shadow crept over the ring, emanating from somewhere behind Botan. The shadow was just a mass at first, but then it changed shape, taking the shape of something long and pointed. Botan slowly looked up – though she already knew what it was, before her eyes landed on it, she instinctively knew – seeing a long, gleaming black blade stretching over their heads and reaching out towards Hiei. It moved slowly, so slowly it was agonising to watch, the tip aiming directly at Hiei, who remained exactly where he was, one arm outstretched, his eyes staring intently. The tip of the blade eventually touched the middle of the thigh of his uninjured leg, pressing until the fabric of his pants began to move inwards with it. It finally burst through skin and flesh, blood pumping out of the wound it was slowly, slowly creating. The blade continued pushing, boring right through Hiei's leg and out the other side. The blade came to a thin point at its tip, but it increased in diameter further up its length, and as it continued pushing through, it was widening the hole it had punctured into Hiei.

But he still just stood there. The tension in his face, the tightening around his eyes indicated that it was painful, that it was difficult for him to bear, but bear it he did. His shoulders started to visibly move with every breath he took, and, as his punctured leg began to quiver and falter beneath him, his outstretched arm fell to his side.

It felt like he was losing the fight.

Botan sat up, looking about herself. It was daybreak, the night over already. She frowned, feeling unsatisfied and a little down after having such a horrible dream – especially after she had enjoyed such a titillating dream the night before – but she decided she might as well just get up and get moving, as a day's work would surely clear it from her mind.

When Botan saw the length of her task list for the day, she almost regretted wishing for a long day's work. As she was mulling over the length of it, she became aware of something at her shoulder, turning her head to see Ayame craning her neck to see her list.

"I have a lot to do today," Botan told her.

"You'll manage it," Ayame said, smiling sweetly. "You're always so upbeat, nothing ever gets you down: not even a task list as long as that!"

Botan nodded, deciding Ayame was probably right: if she approached it with a positive outlook, the day would pass a lot quicker and easier.

And, it did. Botan completed her task list and was back in Spirit World at the same time as Ayame, who had taken out a much shorter list.

"I knew you could do it," Ayame told her as they landed by the temple gates.

"It wasn't so bad," Botan said with a shrug.

"You're so resilient, Botan," Ayame said.

"Yes, I am," Botan agreed, holding her head high as they continued towards the temple.

Botan shortly lost Ayame as they became separated by the chaos in the central area of the temple. She could have stayed with Ayame, walked with her, but she had not especially cared to, and so was neither up nor down when she realised that she had lost her along the way. As she neared the end of the area, Botan heard something she never had before.

"Botan, report to Koenma's office, Botan to Koenma's office."

She stopped and turned with a frown. A nearby ogre paused by her side, looking at her expectantly.

"When did we get a loud-speaker system installed?" she asked him.

"It's always been there," he replied. "You've never been called on it before?"

Botan shook her head, and although she never had been called on the system before, she accepted that meant little, and that the system probably had always been around. It made sense, it was a much more convenient way for Koenma to summon people rather than the way he had summoned Botan in the past: sending George running all over the temple.

Botan took herself up to Koenma's office, knocking on the door and pushing it open, peering her head around it tentatively.

"You called for me, Sir?" she asked.

"Yes, come in, Botan," he replied.

Botan entered his office but was cautious about approaching his desk. He usually only summoned her when there was a problem, and she was looking forward to an easy, early night after the demanding day she had just endured.

"Kuwabara has invited you and I to a dinner party," Koenma said.

Botan sighed in relief and let her tense shoulders relax.

"Just the two of us?" she asked.

"No, it's for everyone," Koenma replied. "All our friends will be there."

"All our friends," Botan repeated.

"Yes, you know: Kuwabara, Shizuru, Yukina, Keiko, Yusuke, Kurama and Hiei."

Botan smiled and nodded.

"That sounds nice, Sir," she said.

"It's tomorrow night, but I've decided you can tomorrow off," Koenma replied.

"Really, Sir?" Botan asked.

"Yes, you've done a lot of work today, and you didn't complain about it at all, I think you've earned a day off."

Botan squealed involuntarily in excitement.

"Thank you, Lord Koenma Sir!"

She bowed to him and spun on her toes, racing from his office. She ran all the way back through the temple until she reached a point where she was allowed to fly, at which point she summoned her oar, still running, and leapt onto it at speed, flying through the sky and through the nearest portal to the living world: after all, she was not going to wait around in Spirit World and risk having her boss change his mind. She flew fast and direct, only slowing when she had her destination in her sights. She circled the two-storey house twice before determining that her fastest approach would be through an upstairs window. She flew to the window and began knocking on it frantically, ignoring the fact that her actions made Keiko yelp and drop the pile of neatly folded laundry she had been carrying into her bedroom.

"Botan," Keiko said as she opened the window. "I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow!"

"Can I stay the night here?" Botan asked, gliding into the room.

"I suppose so," Keiko replied. "We could get into our pyjamas and watch romantic movies!"

"No, I need to find something to wear for dinner tomorrow," Botan flatly answered.

"Oh, well, I could lend you something, if you like?"

Botan was well ahead of Keiko and had already thrown open her wardrobe to inspect the contents.

"I have a really pretty dress that's the same colour as your kimono," Keiko offered. "Only… I bought it for me, so I'm not sure it will fit you."

"Of course it will!" Botan replied, finding the dress in question and whipping it out of the wardrobe.

"You are a bit taller than me, remember," Keiko advised.

"It'll be fine!"

Botan began taking off her kimono as Keiko tidied up the pile of laundry she had dropped when Botan had given her a fright earlier.

"It'll be nice to have everyone together again," she commented as she gathered her things.

"We should go early," Botan suggested. "To help get everything ready."

"I was gonna go round to Yusuke's first, see if Atsuko wanted to come too," Keiko said.

Botan suspected that maybe Keiko was going to see Yusuke to have some alone time with him ahead of dinner, but, as she pulled on the dress Keiko had suggested, she let go of the idea.

"Yeah, it's a little short," Keiko said.

Botan eyed herself over in the mirror mounted on the wardrobe door.

"It is, but I think it's okay," she said.

"Turn around," Keiko suggested in a strange tone.

Botan did as she asked, bringing herself face-to-face with Keiko.

"Look at your back in the mirror," Keiko suggested, pointing over Botan's shoulder.

Botan looked back over her shoulder.

"Oh my!" she gasped. "That is a little short."

"Yeah," Keiko said, nodding her head. "You won't be able to bend down or even sit down without everyone being able to see… Well, everything."

Botan turned her head back to look at Keiko.

"I have other things you can try, don't worry," Keiko said with a wave of her hand.

"I want to wear this dress," Botan replied.

"I have another dress that's pretty similar, only it's much longer," Keiko offered.

"But I want to wear this dress," Botan insisted.

Keiko gave a questioningly look, slowly shaking her head.

"But it's too short," she said quietly.

"I think I pull it off," Botan quietly replied.

"I think you're not considering things like a gust of wind, or walking upstairs ahead of someone else," Keiko pointed out.

Keiko was correct: Botan had not considered either of those things. But, after hearing Keiko mention them, she started to think about them. She started to think about a gust of wind lifting her dress, or someone walking upstairs behind her. It was just like that fantasy she had enjoyed when she had been hallucinating.

"I'm going to wear this dress," she concluded.

"Okay…" Keiko said slowly.

Botan spun around to face Keiko, smiling at her.

"Let's get into our pyjamas and watch romantic movies," she said.

"Really?" Keiko said, brightening into a big smile herself.

Botan nodded and Keiko hurriedly put away the rest of her laundry, reciting a list of movies they could watch. Botan had seen them all before, but she knew Keiko loved them, and she knew Yusuke hated them, so she was okay with sitting through them with her friend.

It was strange, but Botan never really felt any connection to the romance movies Keiko liked. They were not bad films, but something about them just never quite hit the mark for her. She loved romance, and she loved other peoples' romances (like Yusuke and Keiko, or Kuwabara and Yukina) but something about the movies just never quite connected, never quite gave her that feeling that real-life relationships did. The movies were great, but they were obvious. There was drama, but the ending was always obvious from the very beginning. They lacked something, a certain raw edge, something to bridge that gap between "romance" and "love".

As Botan settled down beside Keiko, both laying on their stomachs, watching the small television that sat on top of a chest of drawers in Keiko's bedroom, she realised that she had never considered before that the words "romance" and "love" had different meanings. The films Keiko watched were "romantic", but that song Botan was so fond of was about "love". The films were about people having feelings and acting on them, but the song was about that push and pull of dealing with feelings, processing them, being overcome by the realisation that it was possible to feel so strongly about one person, and learning how to express it, how to share it, how to acknowledge the love of another person.

Love was actually quite a scary concept. Romance was safer, easier, more fun. Botan supposed that was why the movies were about romance. It was more entertaining, more easily digestible. Just like the song implied, romance was big gestures and symbols, but love was confusing, vexing, frightening and all-consuming.

Love was bigger. Love felt impossible. Although, Botan thought darkly, with Hiei, even romance was impossible.

Suddenly the movie she was watching took on an entirely different tone, and by the time it was ending, both she and Keiko were in tears: though for entirely different reasons.

* * *

"Are you absolutely sure about that dress?"

Botan nodded, ignoring the strange look Keiko was giving her.

"Well, I'm off to see Yusuke," Keiko said.

She turned to look out the front windscreen of her car and Botan suspected – again – that Keiko's visit to Yusuke was about a lot more than just extending an invite to the dinner party to Atsuko.

"I'll see you later," Keiko said.

Botan waved her off and turned to take herself up the garden path to the Kuwabaras' front door. She was a couple of hours early of dinner time, but was hoping to use the time to ready herself for the evening. She raised her hand to knock at the door, but before her knuckles made contact, the door was whipped open, and she found herself looking at a beaming Yukina.

"Botan, I'm so glad you came early!" the ice maiden greeted her.

"Actually, I came early to ask Shizuru if she would help me do something a little different with my hair," Botan confessed.

"Will you let me do your make-up?"

Botan frowned.

"I've been practising, Shizuru and Keiko said I've gotten really good at it!" Yukina insisted.

"Well, okay then," Botan said with a shrug.

It seemed odd that Yukina would be at all interested in something like make-up, but the ice maiden did occasionally paint, and showed quite an artistic flair, so it was logical that she could have extended that skill to applying make-up. Botan followed her to the bathroom, where Yukina indicated that she should sit on the corner of the bath – which was not the most comfortable position to be in – and she then produced a bag full of products.

"Can you give me something…"

Botan's voice trailed off as Yukina met her eyes, and she realised she was about to ask Hiei's sister to make her look sexy for her brother.

"Grown up?" Botan tried.

"I choose what I use," Yukina said, with a strange determination in her voice. "I'll decide, and it will be the best choices for you."

"Oh," Botan said, nodding slowly. "Okay…"

Yukina rolled up her sleeves and Botan tilted her back head, the feeling of Yukina's cool hands and the silky foundation against her skin proving to be quite a soothing sensation.

"Are you excited about tonight, Yukina?" Botan asked.

"Of course," Yukina replied. "I like it when we can all be together."

"Yes, that was why I was worried you might get lonely sometimes," Botan pointed out.

"I like it when we're all together, but it's nicest when we just do it sometimes," Yukina said. "I like time alone, to do the things I like to do on my own. And I like it when I'm just spending time with you, Shizuru and Keiko. And I like it when it's just Kazuma and me. Sometimes it's nice to be with lots of people, sometimes it's nice to be with just one, and sometimes it's nice to be by myself."

Yukina smiled shyly.

"Does that sound silly?" she asked.

"No, sweetie, of course not!" Botan replied. "I completely understand what you're saying! I like a bit of variety too."

"Kazuma is excited about tonight," Yukina said. "He's been recording mixtapes for the last two days."

Botan giggled and Yukina joined in with her.

"Does this mean Kuwabara will be singing for us tonight?" Botan asked.

"I hope so," Yukina replied. "I know you all think he's silly, but I like it when he sings to me. I like to see him enjoying himself, and he's so passionate about his favourite songs and…"

"And you?"

Yukina smiled but did not answer: not that she needed to. She continued her work in silence, and Botan simply enjoyed the feeling of her cool little fingertips working over her face. Once she was done, Botan turned to the mirror, pleasantly surprised to see that what Yukina had done looked better than anything she would have asked for herself.

"Thank you, Yukina," she said.

"Is it my turn now?"

Botan turned to the bathroom door with a smile, where she found Shizuru standing with a curling iron in one hand.

"Excuse me, Yukina," Botan said.

"I'm going to help out in the kitchen now anyway," Yukina replied.

Botan gladly followed Shizuru through to her bedroom.

"So, that's what you're wearing tonight?" Shizuru asked as she closed them into her room.

"Yes," Botan replied, smoothing her hands over the her rear-end, a small part of her acknowledging that the dress even felt short when she did so.

"Any particular reason why?" Shizuru asked, plugging in the curling iron and pulling out the chair at her desk for Botan.

"I like it," Botan replied, sitting down onto the chair.

She let out an involuntary yelp as she sat down: she had forgotten to tuck the dress around herself, leading to her sitting onto the cold metal chair with her bare thighs.

"It is pretty," Shizuru said as she began sectioning Botan's hair.

"I like it," Botan said again.

"Well, that's really all that matters," Shizuru said with a shrug. "No point in trying to be something you're not just to get attention. Because if you do that, you're gonna get the wrong kind of attention, and that would only leave you feeling way worse than being ignored or overlooked ever would."

Botan swallowed carefully.

"You're very direct, Shizuru," she said.

"I thought I was being indirect," Shizuru replied with a smirk.

"You're right though," Botan said. "And I am happy."

"Good," Shizuru said.

Shizuru finished styling the front of Botan's hair before wrapping the back up in large curlers.

"We should let that set for a bit," Shizuru told her. "I've given you loose curls in the front, and I've curled it tighter in the back, it looks softer that way."

"What should I do while it sets?" Botan asked.

"What do you want to do?" Shizuru asked.

Botan looked about the room before smiling as an idea occurred to her.

"Lie on your bed with you and talk about the weirdest spirits we've ever seen?" she suggested.

"That sounds like a great idea," Shizuru said. "But I have a better one."

"Oh?"

Botan turned in the chair to face Shizuru.

"It involves you, me, knives and vegetables," Shizuru said.

"We should help with food prep?" Botan asked.

"Come on, it won't be that bad," Shizuru insisted. "We can play "guess who this potato looks like"."

Botan laughed and accepted Shizuru's offer of her hand, letting her friend guide her through the house to the kitchen, where they found Yukina already working on something over the stove. Shizuru led Botan to a colander of freshly washed carrots, cucumbers and radishes.

"Help yourself to a knife and get chopping," Shizuru told her.

Shizuru moved further down the same length of kitchen worktop and began preparing dashi. Botan turned to her other side, where she found a set of knives, in a wooden block. She reached for what she guessed was probably the one she would need, closing her hand around it and sliding it out of the block. The blade was a little longer than she had expected, and the depth of the blade was much shallower than the handle had implied it might be. In fact, from the handle, the entire thing tapered away to a very slender point – so slender, the very end of the blade looked useless as a cutting implement. It looked more like it was designed for skewering than chopping. Botan took out a radish and placed it on the chopping board, her hand holding the knife hovering over the vegetable.

She was unsure if she could do it.

The knife would not chop. She would have to pierce the pointed end into the radish and press downwards, hopefully getting a cut that way. It was such an odd design for a knife. And, although it was gleaming, it was unusual that the blade – and the handle, the entire thing – was black. And triangular. It was triangular. It was a V-shape. It was not actually a knife. It was an inverted V-shape, two blades, two sharp edges, joined together with a smooth bend. It definitely would not cut through.

Botan touched the tip of the knife to the radish. The radish looked so white. It was the colour of dead skin. The colour of skin that had been denied blood for too long. A corpse, or a severe wound.

Botan pushed the pointed end of the knife into the radish and rich, deep red blood welled up around the point she had inserted the knife, pooling there for a moment before spilling out in every direction, leaving trails of blood all over the surface of the white, white radish.

Like dead skin.

Botan opened her hand and drew it back. The blades of the knife were not really blades. Not like the blade of a knife. More like the blade of a saw. They did not have a solid edge, rather they were serrated, made up of small hooks or teeth that slanted backwards. She had pushed the teeth into the radish easily, but pulling the knife back out would tear a bigger hole, as the jagged, angled teeth would tear through everything on the way back out.

Like a million tiny arrowheads. It was designed to enter swiftly and easily and deeply, but cause massive damage when removed.

Botan took a step back as the radish continued to burgeon blood, the kitchen falling into darkness until all that remained was the chopping board, the white radish, the red blood, and the black knife.

From the corner of her eye, in about the same place Shizuru had been standing only moments ago, Botan could see something. A shadow. Black, white and red. She swallowed carefully, the action making her realise that she had become so tense, even her throat had just about ceased up. She lifted her chin slightly and slowly, very slowly, allowed her eyes to drift from the radish to her left, in the direction of the shadow.

It was a figure.

It was someone.

Botan turned her head, as slowly and carefully as she had moved her eyes, until she was looking fully, directly at the figure standing a short way to her left, facing her. She opened her mouth to say his name, but she was unable to speak. The look on his face was unreadable. Hiei was wearing his usual clothing, dark pants and boots, white scarf around his neck, the majority of his body – including his arms – hidden beneath a black cloak. The white bandana around his forehead had a small mark on it, around about where the centre of his Jagan Eye would be beneath it. Botan focused her attention there, watching as a small red dot bloomed outwards until his bandana was so soaked in blood, it was trickling down the length of his nose, down either side of his nose, down over his temples.

There was blood dripping from his cloak.

Botan looked into Hiei's eyes, those irises the same colour as the blood trickling down his face. He was looking directly back at her, but there was something odd about his pupils: they were dull and smoky, as though he was unconscious.

Or dead.

Botan took another step back and felt cold. She tried to talk to Hiei, but again, it was as though she had no voice to use. His eyes were still on hers, they had moved, fractionally, to maintain contact with hers as she moved back. She felt that he wanted to tell her something, but he was as unable to speak as she was.

She reached out a hand towards him, but he was beyond her reach. She would need to take at least two steps towards him to reach him, but, just as she knew she could not use her voice, she realised then that she could no longer move her feet. She grabbed at the air a couple of times before her hand suddenly closed around something solid, and in a rush of colour and sound, she was suddenly back in the kitchen, holding a radish Shizuru had just passed her.

"You're gonna have to chop a lot faster, Botan," Shizuru told her.

Botan blinked at her curiously, before leaning to one side to look beyond her, partly expecting to find Hiei still standing there somewhere.

But he was gone.

She turned to the chopping board, and found a single yellow radish, chopped in half, and a regular, silver metal knife in her hand.

"Come on, chop-chop!" Shizuru said to her.

Botan forced a laugh and went back to her task, working through it quickly, the odd moment passing from her mind as quickly as it had come over her, her focus shifting entirely as her senses were assaulted by the smell of warm food, the buzz of chatter around her and the bright colours of the fresh vegetables she was chopping. As soon as she had finished, Shizuru told her it was time to go, and she let Shizuru guide her back upstairs to remove the curlers from her hair and finish primping it. They then started back down the stairs, Shizuru and then Botan. The stairs turned two corners as they descended, and as Botan turned the first corner, she heard voices in the hall below. As she neared the second corner, she peered down through the railing, and saw Yusuke, Keiko, Kurama and Hiei had arrived.

Yusuke, Keiko and Kurama glanced up and called out a greeting to Shizuru and Botan. Hiei looked up, his eyes moving immediately to Botan and that dark, sly smile appearing on his face. He was wearing a vest, his arms and shoulders bare, save for the bandaging over his right arm to contain the Dragon of the Darkness Flame. As she rounded the last corner, Botan gained a full-length view of Hiei, whereupon she saw that he was wearing a pair of tight-fitting black jeans that hugged onto every bulge.

The bulge of his calf muscles, the bulge of his thigh muscles, the bulge of his read end and every bulge. Every single one.

Botan stepped down off the last step, and Hiei's eyes swept over her, the look of feral appreciation on his face giving her all the validation she had ever wanted, or ever needed.

She wished the moment would never end.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Dinner, laughter, music and dancing – of the horizontal variety, please – all combine to make a perfect evening. At the end of the night, Botan finds herself alone with Hiei in a place she loves, and she begins to think it's time to TAKE THE DIVE. **Chapter 17: Here I am**


	17. Here I am

**Last Chapter:** Botan had a dark dream and an even darker vision, but quickly forgot about both to enjoy being at a dinner party with Hiei in his tight, tight pants.

* * *

**Chapter 17: Here I am**

Yusuke and Kuwabara were entertaining everyone with competing tales of their adventures, both before and after Yusuke became the Spirit Detective, but their words were largely just background white noise to Botan's ears. Her attention was almost entirely focused on Hiei. He unfortunately was not sitting next to her or even directly across from her, and so it was not easy for her to look at him without a little effort: but he looked so perfect that night, she was prepared to make whatever effort was required to keep her eyes on him for as long as possible. Frustratingly, he never looked back at her, mostly keeping his eyes on his food: which brought to mind an interesting idea for Botan. She had never really given the matter much thought before, but, watching Hiei push food around his plate, she realised then that she had never actually seen him eat. She had seen him drink tea and water, but never touch anything else. Did he eat at all? She began to think that maybe he survived on water and energy from the sun, and as though to prove her point, none of the food placed in front of him ever left his plate. Even when Yukina and Kuwabara were collecting in everyone's plates, they did not acknowledge his untouched meal.

After everyone else had finished eating – a meal Botan had found delicious and satisfying, but, no matter how much she had eaten, she had never felt like she had over-eaten – they all moved through to the living room, where, as she had expected would be the case, Kuwabara hauled out the karaoke machine he was so fond of and went through his usual routine of asking if anyone wanted to stand up and sing – which of course, nobody did – before kicking off with a round of his favourite tracks himself.

"Atsuko would have liked this, it's too bad she didn't come along," Keiko said to Botan partway through the performance.

"Yes, she's probably the only one of us who can match Kuwabara's… Style…" Botan agreed.

Inwardly, she suspected Keiko was just making the comment to try to prove that she had gone to invite Atsuko along to the dinner party and not to enjoy some alone time with Yusuke, but she was right nonetheless: Atsuko did enjoy karaoke, and she and Kuwabara did often perform belting duets at group gatherings.

"Are you gonna have a go?" Keiko asked Botan.

"I don't think so," Botan said with a shake of her head. "Are you?"

"Maybe," Keiko replied.

Botan turned to her, surprised by her response.

"It depends, hold on," Keiko added with a grin.

Botan watched with curious interest as Keiko waved a hand to catch Shizuru's attention. They exchanged a brief, hushed conversation before Keiko turned her attention back to Botan.

"Let's go up next," she said.

"You and me?" Botan asked.

"All three of us," Keiko replied. "You, me and Shizuru!"

Botan looked past Keiko at Shizuru, who gave her that sort of smile she wore when she was playing a trick on someone.

"What's the song?" Botan asked. "I don't know the words to many songs."

"There's one in there you know really well, don't worry," Keiko assured her.

"Oh, okay."

As Kuwabara finished one song, Botan found herself being pulled to her feet by Keiko and dragged over to the karaoke machine.

"We have to share the mic," Shizuru reminded them.

Botan started to ask her what they were singing, but when she music started playing, she got her answer. It was a silly but fun song, that often come on the radio in Keiko's car when the girls were out on a road trip. They would always sing along and laugh at how ridiculous it was, and although Botan always enjoyed it, there was a world of difference between singing a stupid song with her friends in a small contained area where nobody else could hear them and standing up in front of Hiei and making a fool of herself. She leaned closer to Keiko so that all three of them could share the same microphone, but began singing with less enthusiasm than either of her friends, and far less enthusiasm than she usually had when singing in the car. At first, she did not dare look at Hiei, but, after a few bars, she dared to look in his direction, unsure if she was pleased or not to find him looking directly at her. She had wanted him to look her way all night, so a part of her was pleased to finally have his attention, but an equal part of her was mortified that she had gained his attention by doing something she was sure he would disapprove of.

The look on his face was not one of outright disapproval or disgust, but it was actually quite hard to tell exactly what the look on his face meant. There was an air of scrutiny to it, a hint of condescending amusement: but no obvious signs that he was completely put off by her performance.

Maybe he was distracted by the way she looked. Maybe he was torn between his disgust at her for behaving like a fool and his primal instincts upon seeing her made up so well in a dress that was so risqué. She sensed he was toying with her. Maybe because he knew what she had been thinking about him lately. Maybe he was looking at her, thinking about all the things she had been thinking about. Or maybe he was looking at her and thinking his own thoughts about her. His own animal thoughts.

When the song was over, Keiko hugged Yusuke and Shizuru handed the microphone back to her brother, who readily accepted it. Botan quietly slid out of the room and continued out into the back garden, drawing in a deep breath of the sweet, evening, human world air. It smelled a little different that night. It was not the smell she normally associated with the human world: or at least not the smell she normally associated with a city. The air smelled like moss and a little like the pink liquid Keiko used to remove her nail polish. That pink stuff always reminded Botan of something else. Every time she caught the odour of it in Keiko's bedroom, it reminded her of something, but she could never quite pinpoint just what. It was a scent she occasionally caught in the air, though she could not really remember where, when or why. When she tried to puzzle it out, she heard the music inside the house change to a slower song, one Keiko liked, one she usually dragged Yusuke up to dance with her to.

"Some of the things the humans sing about are embarrassingly ridiculous."

Botan turned her head to see Hiei standing at her side, looking out towards the back of the garden.

"I didn't want to sing, Keiko made me do it," she said.

"This song makes everyone behave in ways that are degrading," Hiei replied.

"This song?" Botan asked. "This is a romantic song. For slow dancing."

Botan paused, before daring to voice the question that then welled up in her mind.

"Would you like to dance, Hiei?"

"Dance?"

"Yes. Now. With me. To this song."

"You and I may have a different definition of the word "dance"."

"It means move rhythmically to the music."

Hiei turned his head slightly towards her, looking up at her from the corner of his eye with a smirk that bordered on the dark one she had been seeing him wear do often lately.

"Yes, that's what it means," he agreed.

"Yes," Botan said, wondering what she was missing.

"Move rhythmically to the music," he repeated. "Vertically, or, more commonly, horizontally."

"Horizontally?" Botan echoed with a smile. "Oh Hiei, what sort of dancing is done horizontally? If we were dancing horizontally, we'd be lying down on the… Ground…"

Hiei's smirk curled a little further into his cheeks and his eyes took on that teasing glint.

"Hiei, you're mean to me," Botan complained, turning to look out across the garden.

"If you're not ready to dance, maybe you'd prefer to walk."

"What?"

Hiei started walking down the garden, and after a moment's hesitation as she considered how odd Hiei's choice of words was, Botan hurried after him, falling into step at his side as they neared the back fence. The back fence was a high fence, made of wooden planks so close together, it was impossible to see through. They were painted white, though the grain of the wood was still apparent through the paint, and, as they were just coming out of winter, the white was a little faded in places due to the more inclement weather of the season past. Hiei reached out a hand and pushed, a gate Botan had been unaware of opening in front of him.

Botan had always thought that the Kuwabaras' house backed onto another house, that the end of their back garden adjoined the end of a neighbour's: but as she stepped through the gate behind Hiei, she found herself suddenly out in the countryside.

The sun was low over the other side of the valley, turning the rice fields nearest her into shimmering plates of gold.

"I like it here," she said.

"I know you do," Hiei replied.

Botan wondered what it would feel like to jump into one of the pools of water reflecting the sun, to fall endlessly through the warm, glowing golden light. She summoned her oar and sat onto it, turning herself around to face Hiei.

"Do you want to come with me?" she asked.

He grunted and leapt onto her oar, standing with the sort of perfect balance only he could possess, on the handle of her oar just above the blade. Botan drifting out over the fields, which fell away from her as she flew. Once she was a few stepped fields down the hillside, she turned to one side and began flying parallel to the rows of fields, letting herself slowly sink as she went, until she reached the point that her toes were dragging along the surface of the water. She looked down, so that she could enjoy watching her toes stir the golden water below: but the sight that greeted her made her slow to a complete halt.

The sun was rapidly sinking, darkness was creeping over the reflected sky below, and the reflection of Hiei, standing on her oar at her side, had changed. He was no longer wearing the tight pants she had been enjoying so much, but rather he was back in his usual, loose-fitting pants. His vest was the sort of easy-fitting shirt he usually wore, only it was torn in several places. His head was down, his face invisible, obscured in shadow.

The sound of a small droplet landing in the water below drew Botan's attention there, and she saw a single droplet of blood slowly disperse into the water. It was shortly followed by another and then another. There was a constant dripping of blood, from her oar at her side, that was slowly staining the water red.

Botan slowly lifted her eyes, her head soon following, shifting her gaze from the water to her oar, to Hiei's booted feet, slick with blood, up his legs, past tears in his pants, to his shredded vest and up to his face, still shrouded in darkness. She opened her mouth, intent on asking him if he was alright, but her voice failed her. He swayed a little before his feet slipped on her blood-slick oar and he fell into the water below.

"Hiei!" Botan screamed, grabbing desperately at the loose fabric of his pants.

His weight caught on her hold and she was jolted over, barely managing to cling to her oar with the back of her knees, her arms pulled underwater. She held onto him, but she was sinking, her face coming closer and closer to the water. She could not see Hiei beneath the water, the surface still showing a mirrored reflection of everything above, concealing everything below entirely. She balled her hands into fists as tightly as she could in a desperate bid to blindly hang onto him, but his weight was slowly, slowly dragging her down. Botan tucked her chin in, letting her forehead touch the water first instead of her nose. Her legs were starting to slip from her oar but she thought that maybe if she changed the angle she was flying at, she might be able to lever him back out with her.

Botan's oar vanished and she fell, hitting the water and sinking rapidly.

It was dark underwater, and the water was unendingly deep. There were twinkling lights, like the reflection of stars, that blinked in and out of existence all around her as she fell, but there was no sign of Hiei. She looked all around herself, finding that all she could see was darkness and the occasional twinkling star. She tried to figure out which way was up and which way was down, and when she realised she was barely moving, and every direction looked the same, she also realised that she needed to breathe, and when she tried to, she drew in water.

As she choked on the lack of air, a sense of panic set in, and she began to fight. She thrashed around and struggled and pushed with her legs and pulled with her arms, moving all around through the water until finally her head surfaced. She drew in a deep breath and fell under again, but finally she could see the surface of the water, the edge of the line between the sky and its reflection, and after a few more desperate movements of her arms, one hand surfaced and grabbed a handful of turf by the edge of the field. She gripped it tightly and hauled herself towards it, managing to grab on with her other hand and drag her head and shoulders out of the water.

Botan hung onto the edge as she caught her breath, looking about herself for any sign of Hiei, any sign of any of her other friends from the party, or even the Kuwabaras' house. When she failed locate anything she had been looking for, she reaffirmed her grip on the turf and hauled herself up out of the water, stepping up onto the ledge at the edge of one row of the field, teetering around on her toes to look back up the hill. It was the middle of the night, the sky dark but filled with stars and a brilliant full moon. She looked down at her feet, her toes at the edge of the water. She dared to poke the toes of one foot into the water, the way it rippled seeming odd somehow. She watched the ripples until they disappeared before slowly moving her foot out over the surface of the water and slowly, carefully, lowering her foot down. As her foot became submerged, Botan dared to step off the ledge with her other foot, stepping down onto solid ground, finding the water was barely any deeper than her ankles: just as it should be in a rice field.

Although it made no sound, as she watched the water by her feet, Botan saw the reflection of something dark flying over her head. She looked up, seeing a crow flying towards the top of the hillside, towards the trees beyond. Although she could not be sure why, she felt she ought to follow it, and so waded her way through the field, and stepped up to the next level, continuing in that manner until she reached the top of the hill. She had long since lost sight of the bird, but she felt sure it had flown in a straight line, and so continued her journey that way, over the brink of the hill, and down the other side through a wooded area. As the trees thinned, she found herself stepping out onto a wide grassy area that looked familiar somehow. She walked on, noticing then just how silent it was – no sound of wind, wildlife or even her own footsteps – moving over a grassy area towards a building in the centre of the open area.

The crow fluttered down to the ground to a point Botan could not quite see, but after a few more steps, she saw where it had landed. On the point it had landed, stood a lone figure, facing Botan as she approached.

"What are you doing here, Botan?"

Botan did not stop or answer the question until she was close enough to the person to make out every feature on the small face looking at her curiously and with a vague sense of amusement.

"I don't know," she admitted. "Shouldn't you be telling me that?"

The little girl, her hands behind her back, shrugged her shoulders.

"You're back here for a reason," she said.

Botan blinked, her mind going blank.

"You said it would be perfect this time."

Her ears heard her voice speaking, but her mind took a moment to register the words she had said, to acknowledge that, in fact, she felt cheated.

"The only limits here are the limits of your own imagination," the Lure casually answered her. "If your own mind can't imagine happiness for you, I can't make you feel it."

"That's exactly what you're supposed to do," Botan complained. "You lied to me."

"I didn't lie to you," the Lure disagreed. "I said I push you into your subconscious, to confront your deepest desires. How they manifest and how you experience them is down to you, not me."

"You've wronged me."

"What is it that you want, Botan?"

"You don't already know that?"

The Lure shrugged, looking up at the sky as though pondering the question.

"Seems to me like you want sex more than anything," it concluded, moving its eyes back to Botan.

Botan's mind went blank again.

"Am I wrong?" the Lure asked.

"No," Botan replied quietly.

"You've thought about it."

Botan felt nothing.

"That's what this is."

Botan shook her head.

"Shall we continue?"

Botan nodded.

"Then come closer to me."

Botan walked forward, her footsteps falling softly on the lawn, every stride taking her closer to the little girl, with arms outstretched, eyes a little rounder than seemed human, smile a little wider than seemed possible. As she neared the girl, she closed her eyes, focusing on the sound and feeling of her feet, walking along the dewy grass.

"Botan?"

Botan let out a small questioning noise.

"Botan, are you listening to me?"

Botan opened her eyes, blinking a few times to focus on the more colourful, illuminated scene she found herself looking at.

"If you don't pick one, I'll have them both for you."

Shizuru smiled at Botan upon her last remark. Botan blinked again, looking along the table at her friend, who was holding a small glass bottle in each of her hands, one pink and one yellow.

"You snooze you lose, Blue," Shizuru said, putting down the yellow bottle and sliding it along the table to Botan.

"I prefer the pink one!" Botan protested.

Shizuru smiled and cracked open the pink bottle, taking a swig from it. Botan pouted as she opened her own bottle of soda, but when she lifted the bottle to her lips, she smiled: it tasted just like the pink one she preferred. As she swallowed down the delicious drink, she looked around the table at her friends. Being in their company always gave her a sense of joy and ease that nothing else ever did, a happiness that was natural. She felt alive.

As she took another drink from the pink bottle in her hand, Botan noticed Hiei slip away from the table, somehow managing to sneak away unnoticed by anyone else present. Botan waited until he had left the room before making an excuse herself and following after him, telling herself that she just wanted to see where he was going. She caught sight of him again as she stepped outside, finding him standing in the middle of the back garden. She continued towards him until she was almost level with him, at which point it occurred to her she had no idea what she was going to say to him.

"I'm not interested in going back inside there to listen to Kuwabara make a fool of himself all night," Hiei said.

Botan slowly took a few more steps forward, stopping once she had brought herself level with Hiei.

"Unless there's some other reason you've come out here after me," he added.

Botan turned her head to look at Hiei, but he kept his head forward.

"I thought you were leaving," she told him.

"These "dinner parties" usually only go downhill after the actual dinner," he flatly replied.

"You usually always sneak off after dinner," she noted.

"Yes."

"Which is odd, because I've never actually seen you eat at one of our dinner parties."

"Hn."

"Or ever. I've never seen you eat."

Hiei finally turned his head, though only slightly, his eyes moving to look directly at Botan.

"Are you still questioning me about the human food that gets put in front of me?" he asked.

"Oh, well, I suppose you don't much care for human cuisine," she said. "Kurama once told me the food in Demon World is usually more… Raw."

For some reason, Hiei appeared to smile slightly when Botan said the word "raw".

"He said human food is too heavily prepared," she continued. "Too dry, I suppose."

"Are you asking me now if I prefer it raw and wet?"

Botan hesitated long enough to fully appreciate the way Hiei was looking at her.

"I was still talking about food," she said quietly.

"Were you?" he asked.

"Yes, I… I think I was."

"You think you were?"

"I don't know."

Botan turned to look out across the garden. The sky was black, but there were stars visible all around. Despite the conversation she had just had with Hiei, and the awareness that he was still looking at her from her side, she found herself unable to look away from the sky for some time. In all the years she had been visiting the human world – through her work and socially – she had never seen so many stars in the sky before, least of all in from the middle of a city. There were more stars, bigger stars, more clusters of stars than she had ever seen. It was such an unusual and captivating sight, it almost made her forget about Hiei entirely.

"You didn't see me out here."

"Hmm?"

Botan turned to ask Hiei why he had said what he just had, but by the time she turned her head, he had disappeared, leaving behind only a gust of air to indicate that he had moved upwards. She looked up and about herself, catching a glimpse of him as he moved over the peak of the roof of the house.

"Come back inside, Botan!" Keiko called out to her. "Shizuru has a new movie for us to watch!"

Botan watched the roof for a moment longer, partly expecting Hiei to reappear, but when he did not, she turned her attention to Keiko, smiling and jogging over to the door to join her.

"It looks good," Keiko greeted her, holding up a video case.

Botan looked down at the case in Keiko's hand. One half of the cover was half of a man's face, up close, and the remainder was white, but depicted a small image of a hand, raised in the air, with a long, gleaming black blade stabbed through the centre of the palm.

"What is that?" she asked quietly.

"It's called "Hybrid Animal Demon"," Keiko replied. "It's the sequel to "The Evil Eye"."

Botan took the case from Keiko, studying the cover more closely. The longer she looked at it, the more the half-face on the cover started to look like Hiei. She noticed his eyes were red, subtle shaping around his jawline and cheekbones were unmistakably like Hiei's.

"What's it about?" she asked. "Is it scary?"

"You can sit with me, sweetie, I'll keep you safe."

Botan looked up from the video case in her hand and found herself looking at Shizuru, already sitting on her bed, her back resting against the wall, her legs crossed in front of her. Keiko and Yukina were sitting on the floor in front of the bed, picking through an assortment of soda cans and foil packets of snacks. Botan looked about the room, wondering when she had moved from the back door to Shizuru's bedroom.

"What's this about?" she asked again.

"I don't feel in danger, Shizuru."

Botan turned to Yukina, who's remark seemed out of place, especially as she kept her head down and continued sorting through cans of soda on the floor.

"You're not, sweetie," Shizuru said. "But just… Sit here with me, okay?"

"You think I'm too fragile to be here," Yukina said.

Botan frowned, unsure if she was missing something. Although it sounded like Shizuru and Yukina were talking to each other, they were not looking at each other, and Keiko seemed entirely unaffected by their conversation.

"I'm glad that you're here, Yukina," Shizuru said. "It's important that you are. But please, just sit down here with me."

"You don't need to protect me," Yukina said.

"Well… Maybe I want you to sit here to make me feel a little safer," Shizuru replied.

"Now you're mocking me."

Yukina sounded unusually irritated and tense.

"Okay sweetie, cards on the table," Shizuru said with a sigh. "I'm getting tired, and the cold helps me stay awake."

There was a short pause before Shizuru continued.

"I need you here to keep me awake," she said. "Please, sweetie."

"Alright."

Botan hesitated, expecting Yukina to move over beside Shizuru. When she did not, when instead she remained where she was, on the floor, organising soda cans by flavour, Botan moved over to the bed, crawling onto it and taking her place at Shizuru's side.

"This is going to be weirdest film ever," Shizuru said as Botan rested her head on her shoulder.

Botan rolled her eyes up, looking up at Shizuru as she aimed the remote at the television. Shizuru did not acknowledge her though, keeping her eyes ahead. Botan eventually copied her, looking over at the television as it flickered to life: and the first clear image that appeared made Botan cling to Shizuru's shirt in alarm.

The movie was a scary one.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** After watching a movie that Botan feels is almost speaking to her directly, she goes back to Spirit World for another day of work. During her duties she comes across someone who has a favour to ask of her, but she's not sure she can oblige. **Chapter 18: Can't Let Go**


	18. Can't Let Go

**Last Chapter:** After an odd dinner party, that seemed to reset halfway through when it didn't go the way Botan wanted it to, Botan started to watch a scary movie with a FAMILIAR title.

* * *

**Chapter 18: Can't Let Go**

Botan gripped her fingers into Shizuru's shirt, the satin creaking beneath her grip. Shizuru, Keiko and Yukina seemed unaffected by what was on the television – they almost seemed bored by it, disinterested entirely – but Botan could feel herself sweating, the dampness on her forehead making her all the more aware of the bitterly cold air around her.

"Can you hear me now, woman?"

Botan tried to gulp, but she found herself incapable even of that simple action. Hiei – or at least someone who bore striking resemblance to Hiei – was on the television, dressed in a long overcoat, his hands in his pockets, his eyes staring out of the screen and directly into Botan's eyes. Directly into her soul.

"You're in deep this time. Very, very deep. I can get you out, I can help you, but you have to be willing. You have to want it. You have to rise up. You have to meet me halfway."

There was a long pause, a long silence. Botan noticed then that someone had switched out the lights in the room. She had not noticed anyone move towards the light-switch, but the room was dark. The curtain was open over the window, and although it was too dark to let in any light, from the corner of her eye, Botan could see the sky outside was still scattered with stars. So many, many stars.

"Answer me, woman."

Botan looked up at Shizuru to see if she thought it was odd that the movie so far only had one character, and all he seemed to be doing was talking directly to the camera: but when she looked at where she expected Shizuru to be, she only saw pillows and bedsheets, bunched up and in her arms. She frowned, slowly opening her arms and letting the linen fall to the bed before shuffling onto her knees. She moved onto all fours to peer over the edge of the bed, finding the cans of soda and packets of snacks neatly organised, but no trace of Keiko or Yukina there.

When she heard the clinking sound of something knocking on glass, she looked up, across the room at the television, where she found the main character from the movie knocking on the other side of the screen.

"Untie your pink panties and focus your attention over here, idiot."

Botan felt something drop in her chest, that feeling she got when she had been caught doing something she knew she ought not to be doing.

"I'm tired. I'm pissed off. I've been humiliated. I have no patience left."

"Did-did you ever have any patience?" Botan asked warily. "Ever? For… Anything?"

The character smiled, a lop-sided smirk that misaligned his eyebrows.

"Well now that I do have your attention, maybe we can strike a deal," he said.

"Shizuru promised me this wasn't going to be a scary movie," Botan complained.

"Forget about that. Just listen to me. I will do something for you if you will do something for me. Understand?"

Botan crawled awkwardly off of the bed and across the bedroom floor, stopping a few feet short of the television. There she sat back onto her heels, looking up at the television screen, which appeared almost unbearably bright as the room seemed to be getting darker with every passing second. The television, however, remained bright, the image of the man's face – that looked remarkably like Hiei's face – remained perfectly clear.

"I will look up your skirt as often as you like, in any situation of your choosing," he said. "But you must first swim."

"Swim?" Botan repeated.

"You've fallen under," he replied. "I can't reach you down there. It's a wonder you can even hear me."

"I can hear you," Botan said, nodding her head. "Can-can you hear me?"

"Yes, I hear you," the face on the television confirmed. "I hear it all. All of it. Even when you think I don't, I can hear you. I can see you, too. You probably don't think that I can. I'm sure this ugly mongrel bitch tells you otherwise. And I can see that you've fallen under. You need to swim back up."

"S-swim back up? But I'm not – I'm not underwater."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not–"

The television blinked into darkness and Botan suddenly became aware that she was drifting in the air. She looked about herself, but all she could see, in every direction, was a night sky full of stars. She moved her arms and legs experimentally, and found that it almost felt as though she was underwater, but she felt more like she was drifting, hovering, high in the sky. She turned herself around in the same way she would if she was floating in water, before performing a somersault, the sensation again feeling more like she was underwater than in the air.

"I don't know which way I'm supposed to go!" she called out.

She expected the television – or at least the character from the movie – to appear before her again with an answer. She kept moving, around to the side, around over herself, looking about the entire time: but she neither saw nor heard the character from the movie again. Eventually, when she saw no way out of where she was, she started to move downwards. Or at least, she thought she was moving downwards. If she stopped, she could feel herself slowly, slowly sinking, and so she assumed the direction she was naturally moving in was down. She had to swim to move, but it still felt as though she was moving through the air, falling through the sky, only at a much, much slower pace than gravity would normally dictate.

Botan continued moving, the activity feeling effortless, but her mind growing weary as she went, as though she had been awake too long. The more she thought about it, the more tired she became, and the more she longed to just go to bed – her bed, her own bed in Spirit World – and sleep.

And then, as though her greatest wish had somehow manifested into reality, Botan drifted down into her bed.

She cuddled into her bedsheets, and fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

Botan awoke with a jerk, her entire body flinching as though she had just collided with the surface of her bed. She looked about herself, finding that she was in her bedroom, and the only unusual thing was that she was still fully clothed, and lying on top of her bedsheets rather than under them. She pushed herself up and bent her knees up under herself before sitting back onto her heels and looking about the room.

Everything looked the same. Everything felt the same.

She moved over to the edge of the bed and placed her feet on the ground, noticing then that her feet were bare. The wispy shag on the rug that ran alongside her bed felt ticklish between her toes. She curled her toes around it, seeing little tufts poke out between each toe. It was a soothing sensation, a feeling of being home.

Although, she was not entirely sure how she had gotten home: she was sure she had just been at the Kuwabaras' house, at a dinner party.

Botan shook her head, shaking off the thought, and set about getting ready for another day of work, shortly heading out to the living world to commence collecting souls. The first soul she was due to collect was in a multi-storey shopping mall. Apparently it was an older man that worked nightshift as a security guard there, who had fallen asleep on the job and passed away at his desk. Botan knew the place well: although the mall was not in Sarayashiki, it was in a nearby, larger, city, and it was somewhere she occasionally visited with her girlfriends for a day out. Knowing it as well as she did, she flew in through the multi-storey carpark, into the adjoining mall proper, and into a corridor that led to the security office. Inside the sizeable office, she found her target slumped at his desk, in front of multiple television screens, all showing various images around the mall.

One of the screens flickered as Botan started across the room. Then another. And Another. By the time she was halfway across the room, all the screens had dissolved into a bluish grey static. Then, just as they had flickered to static one at a time, the screens all began to flicker to something else. Every screen, gradually, changed to show exactly the same thing. By the time Botan reached the desk, she was looking at three rows of seven screens, all showing the same television programme. Or film. Or footage.

It was the image of a man, standing, the camera looking up at him from the ground. Or lower. Below his feet. Below the ground.

Beneath the water.

He knelt down, his face coming closer to the screen, his features distorted by the ripples surface of the water. His hair was flattened down at the sides of his head, he looked wet, as though he had just come out of the water, and was looking back down into it. The camera filming him was beneath the water, looking up and out at him.

Botan was beneath the water, looking up and out at him.

He moved his mouth, but his voice was distorted, the muffled noise of hearing someone speak from underwater. Botan made to take a step closer to the screens, but found that her legs were already hard up against the desk and she could not move them. His face came closer to the surface of the water, closer to the screen, and his features became a little clearer.

"H-Hiei?"

Botan's voice was so soft a whisper, it sounded ghostly to even her own ears. The man on the screen – who looked like Hiei and also that actor from those movies Shizuru kept making her watch – said something, the sound louder, his mouth movements suggesting he was shouting, but his words were unfortunately no clearer, still reaching her ears as that muffled drone of listening to something from underwater.

"I-I can't hear you," she said.

From the corner of her eye, she became aware that the man's spirit had left his body, and was hovering in the air above, and to one side, of her.

"Who are you talking to?"

The voice had come from the direction of the spirit, but the voice that had spoken was not that of an old man. It was the voice of a young girl. It was the voice of the Lure.

"I can't hear you, Hiei!" Botan shouted at the screens, desperately looking between every one of them, hoping that one of them might be real somehow.

"It's just a film," the Lure's voice said to her, again seeming to come from the spirit hovering over her. "No-one on that screen can hear you."

Hiei – of the actor who looked just like Hiei – shouted again, speaking slower and more carefully. Although Botan's ears still could not make out his words, his face was close enough to the surface of the water that she could read his lips: it seemed like he was asking her to take his hand. She shook her head.

"I-I can't!" she shouted back at him. "You're on the other side! I can't reach you!"

She tried to lift an arm, to reach a hand out towards the screens to demonstrate the distance between them: but suddenly her arms felt as though they were pinned at her sides, contained in place, just like her legs, pressed against the desk.

"You're hallucinating, Botan."

Botan resisted the urge to look at the spirit hovering at her side, even though its last remark did tempt her to look. Although she was stuck, although she could not hear Hiei, she could see him, in three rows of seven screens, three rows of seven copies of his face, and his eyes, looking directly at her, regardless of which screen they were coming from, looking into her eyes so intently.

There was a sudden eruption of noise, like a large boulder striking water, and water shot out from every screen, splashing over the console and desk, barely missing Botan. She blinked a few times in alarm before focusing on the centre screen, the screen in the very middle of the middle row of screens, where she saw a hand reaching out towards her. Everything around her fell into silence as she focused her eyes onto the fingers stretched out towards her face. The bandaging around Hiei's hand was scorched and torn, stray lengths of bandaging floating around his hand, which itself looked wounded, the skin dark, dry and cracked, and small, hairline cuts randomly over his fingers, hand and arm. Small clouds of blood were floating up from the cuts. A bubble rolled around the tip of his middle finger before shooting up the length of his arm and into the screen beyond, where it broke on the surface of the water.

She was underwater, and Hiei was at the surface, reaching a hand down to her.

"If you can see my hand, take it!"

His voice sounded as though he was still talking to her from outside of a body of water she was apparently immersed in, but she could make out his words this time.

"Take it now!"

With a little effort, she managed to lift an arm, reaching her hand out to his. She touched her palm to his, but her fingers would not close to secure her hold: however Hiei did not hesitate to close his hand around hers, his grip firm, his skin warm despite being under cold, cold water. He started to pull, but she was caught fast by her legs. She strained to wrap her fingers around Hiei's hand, a sharp jolt passing down her hand and into her wrist as she did so.

"You're hurt," she said.

"If you can feel that, you can swim to the surface!" Hiei answered her.

His voice sounded raw, tired, irritated, desperate. It was not a tone she often heard him use. Something really bad must have happened. She clenched her hand around his and placed her free hand onto the desk to steady herself. As she tried to lean forward, her hand at first slipped under her: the desk was still drenched with water. She moved her hand to a small lever, taking hold of it and hoisting herself up, using her arms to pull her weight until she was able to get one knee up onto the desk. Her knee skidded a little, unstable on the slippery surface, but Hiei's grip on her hand was unwavering, and he had pulled her arm higher, forcing her foot that was still on the ground onto her toes.

"Faster, woman!"

Botan made a noise of complaint that turned into a squeak of pain as he pulled on her hand, her shoulder straining. Her back foot lifted off the floor and she quickly bent her knee, bringing it onto the desk beside her other knee. From there, she shakily stood up, yelping in alarm as her own hand disappeared through the middle television screen.

It was at that moment, as her hand burst through the surface of the water, that Botan realised she was the one underwater.

Her hair was loose, floating around her, the sleeves of her kimono were like wings as she moved her arms through the water. She opened her mouth, but doing so drew in water, into her lungs, pushing out any air. She started to choke and panic, and Hiei jerked her arm again, as though reminding her which direction she needed to move. The television screen was too small, she would never fit through it, but she was moving towards it regardless, her arm through the screen up past her elbow already. She tried to speak, tried to tell Hiei that she would get stuck, but she could not even breathe, let alone talk, and so she moved closer, helplessly, hopelessly, to the screen.

There was another, mighty roar of water and Botan's face broke the surface.

She tried to breathe in, but immediately began choking. Hiei was still holding her hand, still pulling her upwards. Her entire body lifted out of the water and for a brief moment, she teetered on her feet, upright, on the edge of a row in a rice field, before losing her balance and falling forwards. The force of her landing knocked the water from her lungs, which she coughed up over Hiei's face.

He closed his eyes, wiping a hand down his face before opening his eyes again, fixing them onto hers.

"Sorry," she managed to choke out as she continued to cough a little.

"Idiot!" he snapped back at her. "Do you have any idea how close you came to hitting the bottom?"

"Wh-huh-what?" Botan coughed.

"You've been sinking the entire time," he snarled back. "Falling deeper, and deeper. It's taken me far too long to reach you!"

"I did-didn't even kn-know I was uh-under water."

"You're not under water. But you are drowning. And you will lose a lot more than your breath if you don't stop this!"

Botan finally managed to steady her breathing a little, crossing her eyes to focus on Hiei. She was lying on top of him, his body half submerged in the water of the rice field, the night sky reflected all around him. He looked tired, exceptionally angry – even by his own worst standards – and his face was covered in small cuts.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

"Nothing," he replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm, as though she had just asked a ridiculously obvious question.

"You're hurt," she pointed out.

"Not as hurt as you're going to be if you don't stop this!"

"I'm not doing anything."

"You're doing everything! All of it!"

"I didn't give you those cuts on your face… Did I?"

"Physical wounds are meaningless, and nothing compared to the mental torture I've had to endure!"

Botan put one hand onto Hiei's chest and pushed herself up a little, to better focus on his face, intent on asking him what he was talking about: but when his face changed, she hesitated. His eyes widened and his pupils shrank. His eyes darted between her hand on his chest and her eyes.

"What is this now?" he asked, pointedly looking at her hand as he said "this".

"I was just steadying myself," she replied.

"You need to get your hormones in check, woman!" he snapped.

"Hormones?" Botan echoed. "But I'm not… Unless… Wh-what are you implying?"

"I'm not implying anything! You're the one who's fantasising about me in tight pants because you want to get a better look at…"

Botan frowned and tilted her head, unsure what Hiei was implying.

"You want to try to figure out the size of my…" he tried, his voice trailing off again.

In the distance, Botan could have sworn she heard Yusuke calling out the word "dick". Hiei growled, baring his teeth like an animal, the gesture somehow only making the weariness in his eyes more evident.

"Alright, listen to me, and don't think about anything else other than what I'm saying to you, understand?" he said.

"I didn't want you to wear tight pants so that I could look at – well – you know," Botan said quietly. "I just wanted to know what your legs look like. You always cover them up."

"I could say the same thing to you."

Botan frowned as something in Hiei's expression notably shifted. His eyes, which were still looking directly into hers, almost seemed to change shape, and she actually saw his pupils dilate.

"What?" she muttered.

"You don't – you don't wear form-fitting clothing on the lower half of your body either," he mumbled back, as though trying to make his voice both quiet and difficult to understand.

"I have those… Striking blue leggings," Botan quietly pointed out.

"You never wear those around me."

"I did one time."

"With a long damn coat that came to your knees. What sort of cruel trick is that?"

"Well, I always wear them with something long. They're quite… Sheer… Keiko said she could see my underwear through them, she said I should wear long tops and coats over them."

"Why the hell are you letting that woman tell you how to dress?"

"Keiko is very fashion conscious."

"She dresses like a librarian in a nunnery."

"What does a – how do you even know what that is?"

"Why does that even put you off? I thought you liked it when others can see your underwear."

"I never told you that."

"You showed me it often enough!"

"Why are you getting angry about it?"

"Because you showed me it, but you never showed me it!"

"What?"

"You want me to see and I want to see it, and you're showing it to me, but you've never shown it to me! I've been hanging here all day in the cold and I still haven't seen you flashing your ass in my face!"

"Hiei!"

Botan's head snapped up, and she looked about herself in confusion: Yusuke sounded so close.

"Put your fucking dick away and finish this!"

Hiei growled, the sound so close to Botan's ear, the rumbling vibration of his efforts passing into her hand, still pressed against his chest.

"Look at me, woman!"

Botan looked into his eyes, finding his pupils had shrunk, his gaze once more focused and determined.

"You have to wake up!" he said.

"Wake up?" she repeated. "But I'm not asleep! I was underwater and-ah!"

Botan yelped as Hiei vanished beneath her with a pop, her body dropping into the flooded rice field with a small splash.

"H-Hiei?" she said, reaching a hand out to the surface of the water around her.

She touched one finger into the water, rippling the reflection of the sky overhead.

Or was she looking directly at the sky already?

Was she lying on the water looking at a reflection of the sky, or was she lying on the surface of the water looking up directly at the sky?

Or down at the sky?

Botan yelped again as any sense of solidity beneath her passed and she began to fall. This time it was not through water, it was through the air, through the sky, falling down and falling fast. As she fell, she heard voices, but they sounded a little as though she was wearing them from under water.

"Where the hell are you going?" she heard Yusuke shout.

"You shouldn't be going anywhere!" she heard Yukina say, with surprising determination.

"It's not working!" Kuwabara said, sounding frantic.

She could hear air rushing by her ears, she was still falling, moving faster than ever.

"Please stop!"

Botan frowned, her head twitching. She had never heard Ayame sound so distraught in all the time she had known her.

"You don't have to do this! Let me do it! Give me one more chance, please!"

Botan tried to say her name, tried to ask her what was wrong: but she could not make her voice project or her mouth move to form the words she wanted to say.

"Get that," she heard Koenma say. "And that."

"It's so small, Sir," an ogre answered him.

"I don't care, get it!" Koenma snapped back.

Botan thought her descent was slowing and finally it stopped. She had landed on something soft, but she was still surrounded by darkness. Everything went quiet, and it stayed that way for a long time before she started to hear the sound of crockery being moved around clumsily, the sound arriving at her ears so suddenly, it was almost painful to listen to. She moaned and writhed around and blinked her eyes several times before finally finding herself looking at something definable.

"Botan?"

It was Ayame.

"Oh, Botan!"

Ayame collapsed to her knees at Botan's bedside.

"I didn't think you would ever wake up!" she gushed.

Botan slowly looked around the room. She was back in her bedroom, but the room felt unusually warm, there was a buzzing sound resonating around the room, a sound she recognised from somewhere, somewhere bad.

"I'm making tea," Ayame said, pointing over her shoulder.

Botan looked in the direction her fellow ferry girl had indicated and found herself looking at Ayame's pretty floral teapot, two bowls for tea and an urn of hot water.

And a zip-lock bag of crushed leaves, flowers and berries.

"I… What happened?" Botan asked.

"You were taken by the Lure, Botan," Ayame replied. "It was holding you… It was holding you in a…"

Ayame covered her mouth with one hand and she appeared to have tears in her eyes.

"Ayame?"

Botan made to sit up, but her arms would not support her weight. She gasped in momentary panic, watching as Ayame, with pale, clammy, shaking hands, slid up one sleeve of her kimono to expose her arm.

Botan stared for a long time at the round open wound on her arm. Seeing it, she could then feel it. On the arm she was looking at, on her other arm, on each of her legs. It was a hole, an indentation, in her arm, deep, dark red in colour. The skin around it was swollen and rosy pink, stretched tight into a raised ring all around the wound. The veins in her arm were pronounced and dark, and visible like bolts of lightning, emanating from her wound.

"It put its…" Ayame began. "It injected the same spots as last time. And the time before. I wanted to heal the wounds for you, but–"

Ayame stopped abruptly, turning her head sharply to the door. Botan followed her eyes, finding that her bedroom door was wide open, and, as she watched the open doorway, one of the large, foreboding guards from the Spirit World prison stepped into sight, his body so large, the top of his forehead was hidden behind the doorframe, his shoulders also so wide they were partially hidden behind the doorframe.

"Visiting hours are nine to five, Miss," he said in what almost sounded like a threatening tone.

"I'm making tea," Ayame answered him.

She was trying to sound brave but she was quivering all over like the last leaf clinging to a tree branch on a blustery autumn day.

"You have five minutes," he told her.

"I won't leave before then," she said, her voice starting to quiver. "And I will be back tomorrow."

She stood up and walked a little stiffly back, picking up her teapot, and clanking it awkwardly against a bowl, where it rattled in her shaking hands, as warm, golden brown tea poured from the spout.

"Visiting hours?" Botan asked, looking at the guard, still standing in her doorway.

He moved his eyes to her, a look of disgust appearing on his face.

"Why are you standing there?" she asked. "This is – this is my bedroom. This part of the temple is for ferry girls only. You're not allowed up here."

"Yes, that's right!" Ayame said, sounding almost as though she had started crying. "You shouldn't be here! You're not allowed to be here!"

"Miss, I said the same thing to Lord Koenma," the guard said, moving his eyes back to Ayame. "But he insisted we detain her here. I said we should have thrown her into a cell with all the other petty criminals, but Lord Koenma insisted that she should be detained here instead."

Botan stared at him for a moment, but his eyes remained on Ayame. She turned her attention to her colleague, who rapidly shook her head as their eyes met.

"You're not being detained, Botan," she said. "And you're not a "petty criminal"!"

"She's addicted to Lure venom," the guard said to Ayame. "That's something not even demons are dumb enough to get involved in. She's reckless and dangerous. She assaulted–"

"She did nothing wrong!" Ayame argued. "Now please, stop wasting the time I have left with her with your disgusting lies!"

Ayame began pouring tea into the second bowl and the guard sighed before stepping to one side, disappearing from Botan's line of sight.

"Ayame?" Botan asked. "What's happening?"

"It's nothing, Botan," Ayame lied. "Don't worry about it. I made us some lovely tea. Here."

Ayame brought over a bowl and placed it on Botan's nightstand. She then picked up the second bowl and lifted it to her lips, taking a sip.

"It tastes bad," she said, almost sobbing. "I got it wrong!"

Botan shook her head.

"Your tea is always lovely, Ayame," she said. "Can you pass me mine please?"

Ayame looked hesitant, but eventually put down her own bowl and brought over Botan's lifting it to her lips to help her drink it. The warmth was welcome, and, despite having felt as though she had been underwater a lot lately, Botan felt suddenly dehydrated, and she drank eagerly. Ayame withdrew the bowl after a few gulps.

"More," Botan said to her.

"Take your time," Ayame replied softly. "You're still sick. You might bring it back up. You need to keep it down."

Ayame looked down into the bowl.

"Does it taste okay?" she asked.

Botan could not taste anything. She just knew that she was thirsty and Ayame was holding a bowl of liquid rehydration.

"It tastes incredible," Botan replied, trying to keep the irritation and desperation from her tone. "More, please."

"It still tastes bitter," Ayame muttered miserably as she lifted the bowl to Botan's lips again.

Botan began gulping down the tea, finding the strength to lift her hand to Ayame's, forcing her to tilt the bowl further, allowing her to finish the drink.

"I tried my best," Ayame said.

"It's perfect," Botan insisted.

"No it's not," Ayame said miserably, before taking a sip of her own bowl. "I can't even get this right…"

"If you don't want that, give it to me," Botan said.

Ayame frowned but Botan nodded encouragingly. Ayame slowly moved the bowl towards her, and again Botan found the strength to lift her arm and guide the bowl to her mouth, quickly finishing Ayame's drink. She was a little unsure what was happening or how she had ended up in her bedroom, but in that moment, all she cared about was how thirsty she was and just how good Ayame's tea tasted.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan is back in reality, but she has been confined to her room, contained there under the same conditions prisoners of Spirit World are contained. Koenma tells her it's for her own good, to stop her going back to find the Lure again, but Botan is so weak from her encounter with the Lure, she couldn't possibly go after it. Ayame seems hopeless and hapless and Botan wonders what it wrong with her, especially when it's revealed that she has done something very, very bad. **Chapter 19: You Have to Wake up**


	19. You Have to Wake up

**Last Chapter:** Botan watched a scary movie that sent her into a freefall that only ended when she woke up in her own bed in Spirit World. She tried to head out to do her job, but her first task took her to another unusual movie, one that (literally) pulled her in, bringing her to the rice fields, with Hiei. Hiei told her to wake up and she was sent into another freefall, that again ended with her in her bed in Spirit World: but this time she found she was apparently under watch from a prison guard.

* * *

**Chapter 19: You Have to Wake up**

Botan awoke with a start as she heard something metallic clanging nearby her, her entire body jerking in her bed, her eyes snapping open. Ayame was standing by her open doorway with a fresh kettle of hot water, but a thick arm across the doorway was blocking her access.

"I already told you, visiting hours are nine to five," the guard told her, the remainder of his body somewhere beyond Botan's line of sight, in the hallway outside of her room.

"Let her in," Botan said.

Her voice sounded thirsty.

"It can't be long past five," she added.

After she had drunk all the tea Ayame had in her room, Ayame had left with the empty kettle, and Botan must have drifted off to sleep, because she could not remember anything else after that.

"It's ten to nine," the guard said.

"Ten to nine?" Botan echoed. "Already? You said it was five o'clock when Ayame left!"

"It was," the guard replied. "When she left. Now it's ten to nine."

"This is ridiculous!" Ayame argued. "You can't hold her prisoner here like this!"

"That's exactly what I can do, Miss," the guard answered her. "Lord Koenma's orders. Be thankful you're here, in your own room, and not in a prison cell, like you ought to be."

"She is not a criminal!" Ayame insisted. "And you have no right to treat her as one!"

"We already went over this yesterday," the guard replied.

"Yesterday?" Botan asked.

"You can't restrict visitors to the same hours applied at the prison!" Ayame said. "And even if you must, I am but ten minutes early!"

"Ten-ten minutes e-early?" Botan echoed. "D-don't you mean four hours late?"

"It's eight fifty in the morning," the guard replied.

Botan's face dropped and she slumped into her bed.

"Let me in, please!" Ayame said to the guard.

"If I make an exception this time, you'll keep expecting it, and start pushing for more," he replied.

"Let her in!" Koenma's voice suddenly barked.

The guard's arm dropped out of Botan's line of sight and Ayame hurried into the room, placing down the kettle and wiping her hands on her kimono. She turned around, pressing her back against the desk she had laid out the items for making tea on.

"I'm ready for more tea now, Ayame," Botan said, grabbing at her bedsheets and hauling herself up.

Her arms and legs were weak and the points where she knew she had wounds throbbed and thumped in rhythm with her rising heartbeat, but her throat was painfully dry, and her need for hydration overtook every other sense. She managed to get herself up into a sitting position, her back resting against her headboard.

"Tea, Ayame," she said, weakly holding out a hand towards the ferry girl. "Please."

"Make her some tea, it's fine," Koenma said to Ayame as he entered the room.

Ayame gave Koenma a strange look.

"Make me a cup too, while you're at it," he added.

"But Sir, I…"

Koenma and Botan watched Ayame expectantly as she fidgeted uncharacteristically, her face slowly turning pink.

"You took a big enough kettle of water," Koenma pointed out.

"I only have the two bowls, Sir," she said, her voice sounding forced and pained.

"Ogre!" Koenma yelled.

George's head appeared in the doorway.

"Go to the common room and fetch another bowl for me," he instructed.

"Yes Sir," George agreed with a nod of his head. "Right away, Sir."

Ayame held up a finger, but George was gone before she could speak.

"I'm not sure I have enough for three people, Sir," she said.

"Don't be ridiculous, Ayame," Koenma dismissively replied.

Ayame opened her mouth, but said nothing. Koenma watched her until she turned around and began hovering over the kettle of hot water. Koenma pulled out the chair from the desk and hopped up into it, but Botan kept her eyes on Ayame for a moment longer. She had never noticed before that the three pins Ayame had in her hair were not exactly the same. Two were regular hair pins, but the middle pin was of uniform thickness and much shorter than the two pins: almost like it was not a pin at all.

"Now Botan, Yusuke assures me he's hot on the trail of the Lure," Koenma began.

Botan turned her attention to her boss.

"The Lure is still alive?" she asked.

"Yes, Botan, it is still alive," he confirmed. "And still at large in the human world."

Botan turned to look at her window.

"Which is why you are being contained here," Koenma said.

Botan slowly turned back to look at him.

"My father wanted to hold you in a prison cell," he said solemnly. "He was angry when he heard you had approached a Lure alone, he was irate when he found out you went back and sought it out again, and now, now that you've gone back to it twice, he is inconsolable. I had a long, hard fight with him to convince him to let me hold you in your room. He is angry that I'm using a prison guard, that I've taken a resource from the prison, but I've done it to support you, Botan. I've done everything I can to help you, and now you need to help yourself. Do you understand?"

Botan slowly shook her head.

"You can't even so much as think about looking for the Lure," he explained. "Or looking for any other Lures."

"I wasn't thinking that," Botan lied. "But… I don't understand what happened."

"You found the Lure, at the start of the mission," Koenma patiently explained. "It took you. Kuwabara and Kurama freed you and took you back here, and when I put you back out to work the next day, the first thing you did was go to find the Lure. It took you again, and Kuwabara and Yusuke freed you and took you back here. I put you under Ayame's supervision, but you escaped and went looking for the Lure, where it took you a third time."

"So… Nothing that happened to me was real?" Botan asked. "Nothing at all?"

"Most of what you've experienced over the last few days has probably just been an illusion," Koenma replied.

"I saw some strange things."

"The Lure will have shown you your ideal life."

"It showed me a lot of bad things."

"Bad things?"

"It made me think I'd assaulted Ayame with my metal bat."

Koenma said nothing. Botan moved her eyes to Ayame, who was still standing over the teapot. One of her hands was fluttering by her head, but she quickly lowered it to the teapot when she noticed Botan looking at her.

"That was real, Botan," Koenma said.

Botan froze.

"You were really so desperate to go back for more from the Lure, you took leave of your senses and assaulted your best friend," he added.

Botan looked over at Ayame, who did not respond.

"I-I didn't mean to do that," she said quietly.

"I know that," Ayame quietly replied. "I'm not angry. I don't blame you."

Botan slowly shook her head.

"But I would never…" she tried. "I thought I was hallucinating… I would never intentionally hurt you, Ayame!"

"I know that," Ayame said turning to face her with a smile that Botan felt was far kinder than she deserved to be on the receiving end of.

"I'm so sorry, Ayame," Botan told her, Ayame's smiling face blurring before her as tears burned her eyes.

"Don't cry, Botan," Ayame said gently, touching a hand to her shoulder. "You don't have to apologise. I know you didn't mean to do it."

"Alright, well, I have to go," Koenma said. "Ayame, don't stay here all day, you still have duties to perform yourself, remember."

"Yes Sir," Ayame answered him, bowing politely as he walked past her. "Of course, Sir."

Koenma approached the door as George appeared there, holding a bowl for tea.

"Too late, ogre," Koenma said to him. "As usual…"

Koenma continued out of the room and George hesitated in the doorway for a moment, fumbling awkwardly with the bowl before dashing back in the direction of the common room, presumably to return it.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Ayame asked.

"Tired, thirsty, confused," Botan admitted.

She turned to look at Ayame at the exact moment the older ferry girl slid a zip-lock bag of crushed leaves, berries and flowers from one of her sleeves.

"That's…" Botan began, pointing at the bag.

"My special blend," Ayame replied with a smile. "I save it for my friends."

Botan watched Ayame move over and pour out the contents into the teapot. As she added water from the kettle, Botan found herself unable to think of anything other than the one, slightly sinister, idea that arose in her mind.

"You didn't want to share that tea with Lord Koenma," she said, voicing the idea to gauge Ayame's reaction.

"Koenma already has access to all the finest food and drink in our world," Ayame casually replied. "We deserve something special just for us, right?"

Botan took a moment to think about what was happening. Ayame had made that same blend of tea the night before, but she had also drunk it herself – although she had not taken much of it, and had seemed displeased with the flavour – and she had served it to Botan before. Possibly more than once.

"What's in it?" she asked.

"Just some leaves, some berries – for sweetness – and some flowers," Ayame replied.

"Berries for sweetness?" Botan asked.

"Yes," Ayame confirmed.

"What are the flowers for?"

Ayame paused before answering, and although her pause was brief, it was enough of a lag in the conversation to arouse even more suspicion in Botan.

"Depth of flavour."

"To take away the bitterness?"

Botan remembered Ayame had been upset the night before, concerned that the tea tasted bitter.

"Exactly, yes," Ayame replied.

"The bitterness of what?" Botan pressed.

"The leaves."

Ayame turned around, stirring a bowl of tea.

"I never thought of tea leaves as being bitter before," Botan said, eying Ayame suspiciously.

"Here you are."

Botan accepted the offer of the tea, the scent wafted up to her nostrils and the combination of the sweet scent and her uncomfortably dry throat overtook any other concern she had. She lifted the bowl to her lips and gulped down half the contents before she could stop herself. It tasted as delicious as it always did, and it seemed especially satisfying, the warmth travelling all down her chest, the relief to her dry throat making her sigh and relax a little.

"It still tastes bitter," Ayame muttered.

Botan looked up at Ayame as she took another sip from her own bowl, her lip curling as though she disliked the taste. Botan meant to ask her why she thought it was substandard, but before she could, she found herself finishing her own bowl. Ayame took another sip but her face changed, and her eyes shifted as three other ferry girls appeared by Botan's open doorway.

"This isn't a show, girls," Ayame said to them coldly. "I'll thank you to move along now."

Two of the girls looked concerned and moved on as asked, but the third smiled and took a step closer, moving herself into the doorway.

"You should be careful what you say, Ayame," she said smugly.

"As should you, Izanami," Ayame replied, lowering her bowl of tea.

Izanami's smile widened, as though Ayame had just said something amusing and ridiculous.

"I saw you," she said.

Ayame put her bowl down on Botan's nightstand at her side, a little more for forcefully than seemed necessary, some of the tea sloshing out over the sides.

"Yes, that's right," Izanami said. "You think you're better than all of us, but you're just the same. King Enma wants to lock up Botan because a demon attacked her and took control of her, but that wasn't her fault. What you did yesterday absolutely was your fault, and I don't see anyone locking you up."

Ayame clenched her fists at her sides.

"You don't know what you're talking about," she said quietly. "And you should mind what you say. Starting dangerous rumours like that could land you in a lot of trouble."

"Are you threatening me, Ayame?" Izanami asked, stepping into the room. "Seriously?"

"I'm telling you to stop being foolish," Ayame coldly replied.

"I was there, Ayame," Izanami said pointedly. "I saw what you did."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes I do. And so do you. If King Enma thinks Botan needs to be locked up for trying to fight a demon, what do you think he would do to you if I told him I witnessed you making a deal with a demon."

There was a short, tense, pause. Botan became aware that she had, at some point during the exchange she was witnessing, picked up Ayame's bowl of tea and already consumed half of it. She started to drink some more, but almost found herself choking on it in alarm when Ayame suddenly, and with a brutal amount of force, slapped Izanami across the face. The younger ferry girl stumbled into Botan's wardrobe, took a moment to wince at the pain of the blow, but then righted herself and smiled at Ayame again.

"I saw you, Ayame," she said. "I saw you making a deal. I saw you giving one of the ancient books from the Spirit World library to a demon in exchange for–"

Izanami was cut off as Ayame slapped her again, hitting her hard enough to send her crashing to the ground.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Ayame said sternly. "And if I so much as think you've repeated any of your nonsense to anyone else, you will be the one in a prison cell. Is that clear?"

Izanami awkwardly got to her feet, one hand touching the side of her face she had been hit on. She gave Ayame a harsh look, but Ayame stood her ground, the look on her face positively terrifying: Botan had never seen Ayame show so much emotion, and for it to be anger, an emotion she seemed too in control of herself to succumb to, only made it all the more shocking to behold.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Ayame said quietly. "Is that clear?"

Izanami nodded solemnly before scurrying out of the room. Ayame took a step back before leaning to one side a little, as though looking for the guard she knew was outside the door. She then darted into Botan's bathroom, sitting onto the edge of the bath and covering her face with her hands. Botan finished her tea and readjusted her position to better see Ayame. She was shaking all over, her breathing loud and ragged. After a few moments of sitting that way, she bolted up, threw up the toilet seat and vomited into the toilet.

"Ayame?" Botan called to her. "Are you okay?"

With a shaking hand, Ayame wiped her mouth, flushed the toilet, and moved over to the sink, splashing cold water on her face. She wiped her face clumsily with a towel and then came back into the bedroom.

"I don't know how you do it, Botan," she said faintly.

"Do what?" Botan asked.

"Deal with demons."

Botan tilted her head questioningly, but Ayame took the bowl from her hands and refilled it with tea, bringing it back over to her.

"Thanks," Botan said, keenly accepting her offer. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Botan began drinking her tea, watching Ayame expectantly. She nodded shakily.

"You're really brave, Botan," she said. "I don't know how you do it. I never could. I can't even handle talking to demons. I could never be courageous enough to fight one."

"…Really?" Botan asked.

Ayame nodded, sitting down a little roughly onto the chair from Botan's desk. She put her face in her hands again and, as she finished her latest bowl of tea, the thought occurred to Botan that Ayame admitting to failure, seemingly acting guilty when accused of making a deal with demon, and Koenma ordering a guard from the prison to contain her in her bedroom all seemed like unreal concepts.

"Am I awake?" she asked, more in the expectation that the Lure might answer her than anything else.

"Yes, Botan, you're awake," Ayame answered her.

Botan turned to look at her, and, after a moment, Ayame met her eyes, smiling softly, despite the fact that her hands were still shaking, and her face was still sickeningly pale.

"Is it true?" Botan whispered to her. "Did you give a book to a demon?"

The look on Ayame's face was all the answer Botan needed.

"Don't worry about it," Ayame whispered. "It's all over now. You're back, and you're safe."

Botan looked over at her open doorway. The guard was nowhere to be seen, but she was sure he was just out of her line of sight.

"Why did you do it?" she asked, looking at Ayame from the corner of her eye.

"Don't worry about it," Ayame said again. "Lie down, get some rest. You'll heal up quicker after a good rest."

Ayame stood up and Botan placed down her bowl onto her nightstand. She intended to make herself more tea once Ayame had gone, but found her plan spoiled as Ayame gathered up the bowls, teapot and kettle, and took them with her when she left the room. Botan watched her go, waited what she thought was a reasonably long amount of time and then threw off her bedsheets. She scrambled out of bed, but groaned involuntarily when her feet hit the ground and the wounds in her legs throbbed painfully. She took a few steadying breaths before turning towards the open doorway. The guard stepped back into her line of sight then and she smiled at him falsely before turning away and moving into her bathroom.

Botan hid in the bathroom, listening carefully until she heard the guard moving. She then peeked back out into her bedroom, ensuring herself that he was out of sight before leaping towards her window and fumbling with the catch. She quickly and quietly opened it, throwing open the window. She summoned her oar – something that took a little more effort than she cared to admit – and sat onto it, levitating up and aiming herself towards the opening.

The second the end of Botan's oar passed the windowframe, the entire window flashed white and a jolt of energy shot through her. Her oar popped out of existence and she fell to the ground, her entire body hissing and smoking from the shock.

"The window is protected with a barrier," the guard called in to her.

"Yes, thank you!" she called back sarcastically. "I see that!"

She tried to stand up, but between her wounds and the shock she had just received, she found her limbs failing to support her weight.

"If you've got any sense, you'll sleep this off, then beg for forgiveness," the guard advised her. "Maybe if you spend the next century keeping your nose clean and doing any task asked of you without hesitation or complaint, you might be forgiven for what you've done."

Botan clenched her hands into fists in frustration. She had to be hallucinating. Koenma would never confine her to her room under the supervision of a prison guard. Ayame would never give a book from the Spirit World library to a demon. Izanami – or any of the other ferry girls – would never dare try to bribe Ayame. Ayame would never panic and throw up.

"You-you've cheated me again," she said, looking about herself, expecting to see the Lure's little face appear at any moment. "You've never given me what you did the first time – you promised to, but you didn't!"

Botan received no answer and she sighed, slumping down against the floor.

"Botan."

She groaned and closed her eyes.

"Botan."

The Lure sounded far, far away.

"Botan."

It was probably in the living world. It was probably at the rice fields. The only way out would be to find it, to confront it, to demand that it either fulfil its end of their deal or release her.

"I just wanted to be happy," she said miserably, her voice muffled by the floor.

"Come to me, Botan."

Botan groaned and pushed her face into the floor.

* * *

Botan awoke with a start. She was on the floor, slumped into a ridiculous position, underneath her bedroom window. She lifted herself up to sit on one hip and looked about herself. Her room was dark, the sky outside was barely dark, as though the sun had just set. The last thing she could remember was trying to fly out the window after Ayame's visit, which she was sure had been at nine in the morning, and yet it appeared to be nine at night already. She glanced over at her desk in the off-chance Ayame might have left her some tea, but unfortunately found nothing.

Botan slowly stood up, turning as she stood.

Her bedroom door was closed.

She slowly, silently, crept towards the door, stopping inches short of it and turning her head, craning her neck to bring her ear as close to the door as possible without actually making contact. As her ear got closer to her target, she started to hear that buzzing sound again, and the air became warmer. Her hair began to prickle, and shorter strands were drawn towards the door from the static energy she could feel around the doorframe.

There was a barrier over her door. Just like how she had earlier discovered there was a barrier over her window. The guard was likely gone – she could not hear anything outside of the door – but with a barrier that powerful blocking the door, there was no need for him to stay.

But the door and the window were not the only ways out of the room.

Botan backed up, all the way to her bathroom, glancing at the window and the door one last time before backing into the room and approaching the laundry chute. It would be an uncomfortable fall, but if she jumped into the laundry chute, it would take her down to the ground floor of the temple, to the laundry room. If the sky outside was any indication, it was late evening, and the laundry room would be empty. Once there, she could sneak out, through the back corridors, around the ogres' quarters and out the back of the temple.

She reached out a hand towards the hatch to the laundry chute, the air getting warmer around her fingers and a buzzing sound starting up: apparently Spirit World had foreseen her attempt to escape that way and put a barrier over the laundry chute access hatch. She retracted her hand with a growl of irritation and began looking about herself. There had to be another way out, a way nobody else would have thought of.

"Botan."

The Lure had quite an annoying voice sometimes, Botan thought to herself as she gritted her teeth and frantically tapped on the tiles on the bathroom wall and poked her toes at the floor, in the vain hope that she might find a secret hatch somewhere.

"Come to me, Botan."

Botan growled and gripped her hands into her hair at either side of her head, squeezing her hands into tight, tight fists, strands of her hair snapping as they were pulled out from the root, her fingernails biting into her palms.

The fan.

Botan slowly opened her fists and relaxed her stance – which had been slightly crouched and hunched and tense – and her eyes moved up to the circular fan high on the bathroom wall above the shower. She fumbled up her sleeves, retrieving the Psychic Spyglass. She held it over one eye, a smile growing on her face at what it revealed: behind the fan, behind the wall, the space opened up and joined a ventilation system that moved in the direction of the back wall of the temple. It was a short distance from the fan to the exit, but the path was very tight and twisted at sharp, rigid angles, seemingly joining up with vents from fans in the adjacent rooms.

She stowed the Psychic Spyglass and quietly retrieved a nail-file from her bathroom cabinet. She then stepped into the shower cubicle and stretched up to quietly unscrew the screws attaching the fan to the wall. She had the covering off in under a minute, and, after experimentally reaching a hand into the cavity in the wall, she found that there was no barrier to block her exit that way. She would just need to jimmy a few tiles from the wall and collapse some of the plasterboard to create a hole big enough to climb through.

The tiles around the edge of the hole were not very well attached to the wall, and the first one came away with only a little force. The second tile eventually came loose, but not before Botan had bent her nail-file out of shape. She carefully placed the tile down on the toilet cistern and crept over to the sink, where she had a small box of tools. The most useful one she could find was a flathead screwdriver, which she took with her, grabbing a full bottle of bath oil, which she wrapped in a towel. She then looked for small, hairline cracks in the grouting, placing the sharp end of the screwdriver against them and hitting it with the bottle of bath oil. The towel helped muffle the blows, allowing her to hit quite hard, breaking away the tiles slowly, painfully, piece by piece.

Her arms ached, and holding them above shoulder-height to work was torture, but she knew she could not stop. She was unsure how long it took her, but she eventually had created a jagged hole big enough to crawl through. She placed down her tools and grabbed the wall, hoisting herself up and pushing her head and shoulders through the gap. She reached her arms deeper into the wall, into the air duct, clawing for purchase to haul herself up and into the space entirely. Her left leg rose through the gap no bother, but her right leg, coming through the slightly shallower side of the jagged hole she had created, caught. She winced and moaned and jerked herself forwards, slamming the wound in her right leg into the edge of a tile.

Botan balled her hands into fists and pressed her forehead to them as she broke out into a sweat, the sickening pain of her action overwhelming her for several seconds. But it was not like she could stop, it was not as though she could just let herself slide back down to the floor and crawl back to her bed, to sleep, to drink more tea, to heal.

She had to get back.

Botan steeled herself and began crawling, on her belly, along the air duct. She had to move carefully, the space so small every movement threatening to be loud enough to be heard in other, neighbouring, rooms. After just a few wriggling movements, she reached the first bend, which turned to the right and angled downwards. She reached her arms around the corner and let gravity assist with pushing her weight down and around. As her legs rounded the bend, her still aching right leg was forced to scrape against the join between two sheets of metal on the wall of the duct, bringing out a fresh burst of sweat over her body, the pain so intense she had to hold her breath to stop herself from crying out.

She eventually slid to the next bend, a sharper bend to the left, that continued at the same height, so lacked the advantage of a slope to ease her progress. She had to hook her elbows, one at a time, around the corner and push down on them, making the wounds in her arms throb – particularly, the swollen bands of skin around her wounds, which felt as though they were filling up to bursting point – to pull the top half of her body around the bend. Once she was around as far as her waist, she began scrambling with her feet, wincing every time she unintentionally kicked the side wall, sure that every thump and bang she made would betray her location. She was torn between desperation to get out as quickly as possible and the need to be discreet.

Finally, she got the lower half of her body around the bend and began crawling, still on her belly, towards the opening to the outside. Thankfully it was just a hard, plastic flap, and it took little effort to push it open, finally bringing the sky beyond into her line of sight.

It looked lighter outside.

How long had she spent breaking down the tiles and crawling through the airduct?

Botan wriggled forward further, pushing the flap open and pulling her head, arms and chest out of the opening. It was a long, long drop down, and she would need to fall out, as there was no room for her to get onto her oar. She held onto the frame of the exit with one hand and reached out her other hand, attempting to summon her oar. It took effort to summon it, her spirit energy apparently still being drained dealing with her wounds.

If she concentrated hard enough, she could re-channel it. She could leave her wounds to fester and gain the energy she needed to summon her oar, leave Spirit World, and find the Lure.

The Lure had not called on her since she began her escape, but it did not need to: she needed no motivation, no encouragement, beyond her own burning desire to get back.

Botan swallowed down her tension, drew in a deep breath, and concentrated. Drawing her spirit energy together, focusing it into her hand, her oar popped into existence almost instantly. The feeling of it in her hand was reassuring, the presence of something solid, something real. She reached her other hand out and grabbed onto it, adjusting each of her fingers in turn to ensure she was gripping on as tightly as she possibly could before willing her oar to move away from the temple. Slowly, her oar drifted away, dragging her body out of the air-duct. Once she had the top halves of her legs free, she bent her knees and leapt out, leaving herself dangling in the air, hanging from her oar. She started to perform a pull-up, to lift herself up onto her oar, but it quickly became apparent that she would not be able to complete the action. She looked about herself desperately, her eyes eventually landing on the rows of bedroom windows above her. She willed her oar upwards, taking herself to her own bedroom window, aiming herself onto the narrow ledge, to balance her feet there.

With great care and precision, Botan steadied herself on the narrow ledge, passing her oar into her dominant hand and moving it around behind her legs before sitting back down onto it with a sigh of relief.

The sky was definitely lighter: apparently, she had awoken just ahead of dawn rather than just after dusk. Not that it mattered. Time was not an issue. All that did matter was getting back.

Botan flew straight up. Up, up, high into the sky, to be sure nobody would see her from below as she navigated to the correct portal. She wanted to make her journey as short and fast as possible, and the most efficient way to do that was to use the closest portal to her chosen destination, rather than just go through the nearest portal and then have to cross miles and miles of the living world.

The Lure had said nothing, shown her nothing, but she needed no clues. She knew exactly where it was. There was only one place it could be, after all. And, fortunately, there was a portal at the exact location it would be.

After a few minutes of brisk flight through the increasingly lightening pink skies of Spirit World, Botan shot through the portal to the living world, bursting into a clear blue sky, the sun rising on one side of her, casting long shadows across the land below. It was bitterly cold, the whitening of the bare trees below telling her it had been frosty overnight. She flew over a massive expanse of frozen trees before passing over Genkai's temple, whereupon she descended a little, bringing herself down to just above the height of the trees as she passed the complex entirely and continued over more forest. She rose up a little as the land sloped upwards, eventually coming to a peak, at which point the trees stopped, the land falling away beneath her.

The rice fields were as blue as the sky overhead.

Botan lowered herself down until her toes were almost touching the water, partway down the first slope. She looked about herself before slowly, sickeningly, becoming aware of eyes watching her. She looked back up the hill, up to the line of trees, where she saw a little girl, standing, her arms folded behind her back, the smile on her face unnaturally wide. Pointed, almost.

"Back again," she called down to Botan. "Of course. This will be last time you do come back to me. You realise that, right?"

Botan nodded.

"Good," the Lure said. "Then come to me. Come to me. Your demise will be exquisite. I'll take you to the peak of ecstasy and then I'll devour your soul."

Botan started to drift towards the Lure.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan has returned to the Lure, for one final time. One final time, she falls under its thrall, and this time is like no other: this time it's paradise, pure perfection. Botan finally has everything she ever wanted, and so she continues down, deeper and deeper. **Chapter 20: Walk on by **


	20. Walk on by

**Last Chapter:** Botan was being held in her room in Spirit World, under the supervision of a prison guard, with barriers blocking her (obvious) exits. Ayame made her more tea and had an unusual encounter with another ferry girl, where it was revealed that Ayame made a deal with a demon. Botan, however, could hear the Lure calling her and needed to go back to it, and so she set about doing exactly that.

* * *

**Chapter 20: Walk on by**

"Before I end you, is there anything you want to say? Any last requests?"

Botan stopped, hovering in the air above the uppermost level of rice fields, facing the Lure.

"Ayame called you a "hybrid animal demon"," she said. "Why did she say that?"

"Because it's true," the Lure replied. "I am a hybrid animal demon. I am a demon with the characteristics of two different creatures."

Botan tilted her head to one side.

"I use this form because I find it easier to lure in my victims, if you'll pardon the pun," the Lure added.

"What do you really look like?" Botan asked quietly.

"Does it matter?" the Lure returned.

Botan shook her head.

"I guess the fact that you are just means the book Ayame read in the Spirit World library was right about you," she conceded.

"Come to me, Botan," the Lure said softly.

"Okay."

Botan drifted closer, slipping off her oar to land on solid ground at the edge of the rice fields. A tear rolled down one side of her face, though she was sure she was not crying.

"You love it here," the Lure told her. "This is your favourite place in all three worlds. Turn around."

Botan gladly obliged, preferring to look out over the glowing, mirrored valley than at the just slightly inhuman face of the Lure.

"Now walk forward," the Lure instructed her. "Keep going until you get there."

Botan stepped down onto the first row, her feet splashing into the ankle-deep water.

"Get where?" she asked.

"You'll know," the Lure replied. "When you get there."

The answer to her question made no sense, but Botan was beyond sense and logic. She continued walking, her feet splashing through the shallow waters, until she reached the end of the field. She then stepped down into the next row below, and continued on her way. The sun was starting to crest over the hills and spill into the valley, and although it brought little warmth with it, the golden light it cast over the fields gave the illusion of warmth. Botan smiled as she reached the edge and stepped down to start her way across the next row. Her foot entered the water and kept going.

Botan slipped and fell under the water, falling down. She was looking back up at the light, but it was fading fast as she fell down, down, deep into the darkness. As the darkness spread, she began to see the sparkling stars that always appeared when she was under. She did not try to fight it, did not try to change direction, she just let herself fall. It was a slow, gentle descent, a slow sinking, her body fully supported by the water, all stress and strain on her wounds and weakened muscles eased. She closed her eyes and relaxed into it, and soon, everything had become dark.

For a long, long time, Botan saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing. The first sense to return to her was her hearing. The sound of music, softly playing nearby her. Then she regained her sense of touch, her sense of balance, a sense of reality. She opened her eyes and was not surprised to see herself looking at the ceiling of Shizuru's bedroom. She turned her head to one side, and saw Keiko and Yukina asleep on Shizuru's bed, and Shizuru sprawled on the floor nearby where she – Botan – was also laid. She turned her head to the other side and saw that the television was still on, the sound of music coming from there.

"It's the DWB Show!" a voice cheerfully announced.

The title appeared on the screen, the style of the font implying it was an animated show.

"The adventures of Dango the cat, Worthy the dog and Boring the mouse!"

Botan frowned. Those were odd names for a cat, a dog and a mouse. It was obviously a cartoon, and quite a strange one at that.

"In today's episode, Boring the mouse is sad," the narrator explained, as an animated brown mouse appeared on the screen, standing on its hind legs, its front paws wringing together by its nervous, whiskered face.

"He betrayed me," Boring said. "He lied to me. I put myself in great danger because of him!"

"Don't worry, Boring."

A large animated dog – an Afghan Hound – appeared on the screen beside Boring.

"I've got you covered," Worthy the dog said confidently. "I've already told him I'm going to send him to his mother in a thousand pieces."

"You're really quite something, Worthy," Boring said.

"What are you two prattling on about?"

A bristled white cat appeared on the screen, on the other side of Boring the mouse.

"Stop wasting your energy," Dango the cat scolded the dog and the mouse.

"We're fine," Worthy said. "We're ready."

"I know you're ready, Worthy," Dango said. "It's this one I have doubts about. You're a miserable little mouse, Boring. You better not let Worthy down."

"I-I won't, Dango!" Boring said. "I promise! I'm ready."

"You don't look ready," Dango replied.

"I am," Boring said. "I brought a pen."

Dango growled, sounding more like a lion than the common domestic cat he was.

"How reassuring," he said sarcastically. "The little mouse is going to save us all with a pen. I feel so much better. How about you, Worthy?"

"Go easy on her, Dango," Worthy said gently. "If she's brought a pen than that's all she needs."

"What did you bring?" Dango asked.

"My feet," Worthy replied.

"Your feet?" Dango repeated.

"My feet are all I need," Worthy said confidently.

"You better not fail me, Worthy," Dango warned. "And you had better bring something more useful than a pen, Boring."

Boring cowered under Dango's glare.

"Don't worry, Boring," Worthy said sweetly. "I believe in you. You've done so much already. I know you can do this."

"I have my pen," Boring said.

Dango slunk off the screen, and Worthy watched him go before turning back to Boring.

"What does the pen do?" she asked the mouse.

"It writes," Boring replied. "In ink."

"Fuck."

The screen popped and went blank.

"Hey sweetie, you awake?"

Botan turned her head to see Shizuru turned towards her at her side, smiling at her in that soothing way she did.

"Yes, I'm awake," Botan said with a smile. "And it feels fantastic."

"Fantastic, huh?" Shizuru asked, slowly sitting up with the heel of one hand pressed against her forehead. "Obviously you weren't drinking last night."

Botan's smile widened and she sat up at Shizuru's side.

"Good night, though," Shizuru said. "Surprised that even Hiei joined us – well, not that he actually participated in the karaoke, or the meal, or the conversation…"

Shizuru chuckled.

"I wonder if we're the first ones up?" she mused.

"Well, we are, yes," Botan answered her. "Keiko and Yukina are clearly still asleep."

Shizuru looked over at their two friends, still sleeping soundly on her bed.

"I wasn't talking about those two," she said. "I meant the boys."

Shizuru turned to Botan with a smirk, and Botan's mind shifted immediately to the idea that if all the girls were in Shizuru's bedroom, then, logically, all the boys must be in Kuwabara's bedroom.

"I'll go check," she said, rising to her feet.

"Get me an aspirin while you're up, would you Botan?" Shizuru asked as Botan stepped over her legs.

"Sure thing, Shizuru," Botan agreed.

Botan padded over to the doorway, looking down at herself briefly before she opened the door. Whereas Keiko and Yukina were in their pyjamas, Botan, just like Shizuru, was still dressed in the clothes she apparently had been wearing the day before. She was wearing the blue leggings Keiko always told her to be wary of, a pair of enormous, thick, woolly yellow socks and a loose yellow dress, tied at the waist with a thick belt that was the same shade of blue as her leggings. Touching a hand to the side of her head, she suspected her hair had been in pigtails, but it had fallen loose and was a little dishevelled. She opened the door and moved out into the hallway, smoothing her hands over her hair. She took a deep breath and started towards Kuwabara's bedroom, but, after just a few steps, the door opened.

"I'm gonna go take a shit, don't eat the all the udon before I get back."

Botan stopped short as Yusuke stepped out into the hallway, yawning and stretching his arms above his head.

"Hey, Botan," he said as he turned away from her and started down the hallway.

Botan whimpered and covered her face with her hands.

"Shut up, Botan, don't act like you haven't seen it before," Yusuke called back to her.

Botan dropped her hands to her sides, her eyes immediately landing on Yusuke's naked backside as he entered the bathroom.

"Why can't you at least put some underwear on?" she complained.

"I told you before, Botan, I sleep naked," he called back. "Only way I can get comfortable."

Kuwabara poked his head out into the hallway, making a noise of alarm as he caught a glimpse of Yusuke before he closed the bathroom door.

"Urameshi! What if Yukina sees you like that?"

Kuwabara stepped out into the hall, looking scruffy, but at least wearing long boxer shorts and a vest.

"Sorry about that, Botan," he said meekly.

"Oh, it's not your fault, Kuwabara," Botan assured him. "And he is right. I've seen him naked far too many times…"

Kuwabara gave her a strange look.

"I believe she is merely referring to the fact that Yusuke often sheds his clothing when we all stay the night here," Kurama said as he joined them in the hall.

He was wearing blindingly white pyjamas that were so perfectly pressed, it looked impossible that he could have slept in them.

"Good morning, Botan," he greeted her.

"Good morning, Kurama," she answered him.

He stepped forward, and Botan noticed something moving behind him. A moment later, Hiei stepped out from behind him and started down the hallway towards the top of the stairs.

"Where are you going, Hiei?" Kuwabara called after him.

Hiei was fully dressed, even still wearing his boots, and he was carrying his cloak and scarf in one hand.

"Hey, Hiei!" Kuwabara called.

"I'm not interested in staying for breakfast," Hiei said, without looking back or breaking stride.

"That's rude, Hiei!" Kuwabara called after him.

"I have no desire to watch you dribble again," Hiei said as he began moving down the stairs.

"I don't dribble when I eat!" Kuwabara yelled over the railing at him.

"I wasn't talking about when you are eating."

"Huh?"

Kuwabara scratched his head in confusion and Kurama hid a small smile behind his hand.

"Is he just leaving?" Botan asked, moving over to the railing and peering down as Hiei left the stairs and started towards the front door.

"Don't worry, Botan, he's that rude to everybody," Kuwabara grumbled.

Botan moved along the upper hallway, keeping Hiei in her line of sight as he continued out the front door. She stopped at the top step, flinching as he slammed the door closed behind himself. He had not even looked at her. It was just the way he usually treated her: he did not even notice her. She had often felt that way about Hiei. Most of the time, when the group were all together, for whatever reason, Hiei would stand back. He never looked directly at her. He barely acknowledged her, even if she approached him. It was like she did not even exist as far as he was concerned: she could be standing right in front of him and he would just walk on by.

Botan snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the toilet flushing, turning and hurrying back along the corridor.

"A wise decision," Kurama said to her as she slipped past him and Kuwabara.

"Is it morning?" Yukina said as she appeared in Shizuru's bedroom doorway.

"Get back inside the room, Yukina!" Kuwabara cried.

"Come on, Yukina, you don't want to see what the boys are up to," Botan said, holding up her hands and backing Yukina into the room.

"Yusuke having a wardrobe malfunction again?" Shizuru asked, before lighting up a cigarette.

"Oh, Botan, he didn't…" Keiko groaned.

"It's fine," Botan assured her. "Like Yusuke said himself, it's not like it's anything I haven't seen before…"

"You didn't look, did you?" Keiko asked.

"No, I never do," Botan replied.

"Not front on, anyway," Shizuru muttered.

"You look at him when he turns away?" Keiko asked.

"N-no," Botan lied. "I just… Look away. And… Think of Spirit World."

Keiko gave Botan a scrutinising look as Shizuru chuckled from her position still sitting on the floor. Yukina glanced between them all before settling her attention on Botan.

"What are you all talking about?" she asked.

"Don't worry about it, sweetie," Botan assured her.

"Did you get my aspirin, Botan?" Shizuru asked.

"No," Botan replied.

"I'll go," Keiko said with a sigh. "It's not like I haven't seen it all before."

Botan stepped back to allow Keiko to pass her. A moment after she had stepped outside, she began shouting at Yusuke. Kuwabara leaned into the room and offered to lead Yukina to safety, and she took his hand and let him lead her out of the room.

"Close the door, Botan," Shizuru said once they had gone.

Botan did as she asked and moved over, kneeling down by Shizuru's side, already knowing that her friend had asked her to close the door in order for them to discuss something privately.

"Still not looking at dicks, huh?"

"What?"

Shizuru looked at Botan from the corner of her eye as she took a draw on her cigarette.

"It would be rude to look!" Botan said.

"True," Shizuru admitted, nodding her head. "But most people would. Natural curiosity, and all that."

"He's my friend. And he's Keiko's boyfriend!" Botan argued.

"I've looked."

"What?"

"It's no big deal, Botan."

"Are you saying Yusuke has a small–"

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying it's just a little… Odd."

"What is?"

"That a girl obsessed with what boys and girls get up together has never seen a penis before."

"Well, I've never had the chance to see one!"

"You just had a chance."

"I don't want my first time to be with Yusuke!"

Botan froze as she realised that someone had opened the door behind her during her last statement.

"Damn Botan, and here I thought I'd get first shot at you, being a former Spirit Detective and all," Yusuke's voice said behind her.

Botan wailed and dropped her face into her hands.

"Come on, I'm making breakfast," Yusuke added.

"Come on Botan," Shizuru said, standing up.

Botan sighed and took the hand Shizuru was offering her, letting her friend help her to her feet.

"Yeah Botan," Yusuke said as she started towards the door. "Let me put something hot inside of you."

"Yusuke!"

Botan swung at him but he darted out of her reach.

"That was your fault, Shizuru!" she complained.

"Yeah, of course it was," Shizuru said with a smile. "It's absolutely my fault that a… How old are you again?"

Botan gave her a flat look.

"A woman of your age and with your fascination in dick has never seen one," Shizuru finished regardless of Botan's lack of a reply.

"I don't want to be looking at just any old…" she started.

Shizuru started to laugh.

"It's not funny!" Botan complained.

"Right," Shizuru said. "You definitely don't want to be looking at just any old dick."

Botan shook her head, but found herself laughing too.

"I didn't mean it like that!" she said.

"I know, sweetie," Shizuru assured her. "Come on, I really need that aspirin."

Shizuru put her hands on Botan's shoulders and guided her along the hallway to the top of the staircase. As they started down the stairs, Botan quickly forgot about her misunderstanding with Yusuke, the memory of Hiei slipping out earlier proving to be more concerning to her. She felt it was a cruel thing that the Lure had done, to awaken an idea in her, to show her a Hiei that was interested in her, when in reality, he barely seemed to notice her. If she never saw him again, she doubted he would even give her another thought. Even seeing him as often as she did, she was almost sure he never gave her a thought.

Except when she was talking to Yukina, and came close to accidentally mentioning the relation between the two. He was always quick to think of her then.

Botan sat down at the dining table, deciding that, as soon as she found the perfect opportunity to, she would pretend to tell Yukina about Hiei. That would bring him back. She poured herself a coffee and stirred in a spoon of sugar, looking around the table as she waited for her chance.

"Do want some of my cream with that, Botan?"

Botan looked up at Yusuke, who winked at her.

"We weren't talking about what you think we were, Yusuke!" she wailed.

"What?" Keiko asked, looking back and forth between Botan and Yusuke. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Keiko," Botan quickly answered her.

Yusuke continued serving up breakfast and Botan remained silent, waiting for her moment, waiting for the perfect time to pretend to betray Hiei's confidence.

"You got a hangover, Botan?" Yusuke asked her, partway through the meal.

"No," she replied.

"You're weirdly quiet," Kuwabara pointed out.

"I'm fine," she lied. "Maybe Hiei had a hangover. Maybe that was why he left."

"I don't think Hiei was drinking last night," Kuwabara said, shaking his head.

"Maybe he left so that he wouldn't make a fool of himself," Botan continued blindly, deciding this was as good an opportunity as any to summon Hiei. "In front of his little–"

Botan was cut off when Shizuru pushed a piece of toast into her mouth.

"Don't forget to try some of this bread, Botan," she said.

Botan made irritated noises as she chewed through the dry toast, trying to chew it up and swallow it down as quickly as possible, to allow her to continue with her plan. She was a little surprised that Hiei had not interrupted her sooner, usually just thinking about mentioning his relation to Yukina was enough to have him scolding her telepathically.

"As I was saying," she said, once she had finally swallowed down the toast. "Hiei probably left to avoid embarrassing himself in front of Yu-ow!"

Botan's jaw dropped as she glared across the table at Yusuke.

"In front of me," Yusuke finished for her. "Cause Hiei knows I never give him any peace when he has a hangover."

"Yeah, he's so grumpy," Kuwabara agreed.

Botan sneered at Yusuke as she reached a hand down to rub her shin where he had kicked her under the table.

"I was trying to say something," she complained.

"Maybe don't try so hard," Shizuru advised her.

"Yeah, Botan," Yusuke added. "Relax."

Botan sighed and decided to give up on her plan. If Yusuke and Shizuru would not let her carry out the idea, she could simply come back later, go to Genkai's temple when Yukina would be alone, and try again then. And, with that thought in mind, she relaxed into the moment and enjoyed her breakfast.

* * *

After deliberately using the shower last at the Kuwabaras' house, and then taking her time getting dressed – she had apparently had the foresight to bring a change of clothes, as she found a set of clothing in her overnight bag – Botan managed to time her exit such that Kuwabara returned to the house after taking Yukina back to the temple at the same time that Botan left to go visit her. She took her time flying to Genkai's temple, partly because it was a lovely bright (if cold) day, and partly because she was in no hurry to return to Spirit World. She had her communication mirror with her, and she knew that, if he needed her urgently enough, Koenma would call her, and she had already decided to remain in the living world until exactly that happened.

As she neared the temple, Botan started to slow, ultimately stopping to a static hover. She was flying high enough in the air that she could see well beyond the temple from the point she was. She could see miles and miles of trees, the open grounds of the temple, and the edge of the treeline at the top of a valley.

Botan looked down at the temple for a long time, her mind blank. When she started to move again, she soon moved past the temple, over the trees, and began to descend as she found herself above the rice fields.

"Back here again?"

Botan paused, a few feet above the water, four levels down from the top of the valley.

"Yes, I knew you would come here. Your predictability at least makes this task easier for me."

Botan slowly turned around, where she found herself looking at a lone figure, sitting on the edge of the first field, feet dipped into the water below. She drifted over, stopping a few feet away.

"It's a very quaint choice of location to will your own demise."

Botan frowned.

"I might have guessed you'd have chosen something a little more… Colourful and feminine."

"Feminine?"

One side of Hiei's mouth curled up into an amused smirk.

"A field of flowers, perhaps," he said.

"I prefer it here," she answered him. "I can see the sky in the fields. That's prettier than a field of flowers."

"Curious," he responded. "I've never especially cared for the sky, though of course I don't spend as much time in it as you do."

"I suppose the sky isn't exactly a place you'd like to be. Didn't you fall from the sky when you were–"

"Yes, well, this isn't about my preferences."

Botan drifted further over, stepping off of her oar and sitting down onto the ground beside Hiei. She was not quite brave enough to sit directly next to him, and so left about a foot between them. She then removed her ankle boots and socks, rolled up her jeans to her knees and lowered her bared feet down into the water, just as Hiei had done.

"It's just so peaceful here," she commented as she looked out at the view she adored so.

"Peaceful is one word for it," Hiei replied. "Another might be isolated. I never thought of you as the sort who enjoyed isolation."

"I live in a part of King Enma's temple that's very small," Botan explained. "Really quite cramped. I share a kitchen and a lounge with nine other ferry girls. I don't often get time to myself. I like to come here sometimes, to enjoy the view, enjoy the silence."

"Hn, it's funny how even I have made incorrect assumptions about you."

Botan turned to look at Hiei. He was looking up at the sky, a hint of an amused smile on his face, but a strange sense of sadness in his eyes. She was waiting for him to explain his last remark, as it had seemed leading, as though he was expecting a specific response from her, or as though it marked the beginning of something more substantial he intended to say. She kept watching him, her attention shortly drifting to how he looked. He had that same pale, almost tight-looking skin on his face that Yukina had. He also shared her pronounced and precise cheekbones and jawline. Sometimes, he looked so much like his twin, Botan wondered how it was that Kuwabara and Keiko had never made the connection. The only striking difference in appearance was their hair colour. Hiei's hair was so dark, and looking at it then, she remembered how it had felt against her face, against her lips, when she had held him in her arms.

"I didn't think you even thought about me at all," she admitted. "It feels that way. Like most of the time you don't even notice whether I'm around or not."

"And you had to come to the Lure to change that?" Hiei asked, turning to look at her.

"Yes, I did," she replied.

"Hn," he grunted, his expression hardening. "Then I suppose this is as much my fault."

Botan frowned. It was not often that Hiei admitted he was at fault. In fact, she was not sure she had ever heard him admit to being at fault for anything.

"Does this mean you'll stop ignoring me?" she asked.

"I didn't think I ever was ignoring you," he replied.

"Well, you've got a funny way of showing it!" she complained.

"I understand."

Botan was a little surprised at his response, especially because of the soft, almost submissive tone he had delivered it in.

"I have to go," he said. "Stay out of the water."

Hiei stood up at her side and Botan scrambled up at his side, but by the time she was on her feet he had gone, with no hint of which direction he had left in, almost as though he had literally vanished. She looked out over the valley for a moment before summoning her oar and flying away.

If Hiei was not there, she had no reason to stay.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Life might just be one endless party, as Botan wakes up in the living world and gets to spend another fun-filled day with her friends. Everything is light and easy, and Hiei is being exceptionally warm and approachable. Everything is perfect: except for that weird cartoon that keeps playing on the television. **Chapter 21: All I Know**


	21. All I Know

**Last Chapter:** Botan went back to the Lure ONE LAST TIME, and was transported to a world with an odd cartoon and a lifestyle that seemed to allow her to never have to report for her duties in Spirit World. She thought Hiei seemed distant, but when she tracked him down at the RICE FIELDS he seemed very different, and they had a nice talk.

* * *

**Chapter 21: All I Know**

Botan awoke to the sound of music playing in the room. She opened her eyes and sat up, frowning as she looked about herself. She was sleeping on the floor, next to Shizuru, and Keiko and Yukina were sharing the bed. Apparently, they had all spent the night at the Yukimuras' house. Botan could not remember going there the night before, but, equally, she could not remember where she had gone at all the night before, and so she accepted her situation as she found it.

As she stretched her arms above her head, she looked over in the direction of the music, finding that Keiko's television was on.

"It's the DWB Show!" a voice cheerfully announced.

"This again?" Botan muttered.

"The adventures of Dango the cat, Worthy the dog and Boring the mouse!"

"Stupid names," she grumbled.

"In today's episode, Dango the cat is angry," the narrator explained, as the white cat appeared on the screen, looking as bristled as he usually did.

"Make yourself useful, Boring," Dango said.

Boring the mouse appeared at his side, looking as nervous as she usually did.

"Boring has been making herself useful, Dango," Worthy the dog said, appearing on Dango's other side.

Dango swiped up something from the ground with one paw. It looked like a dirty rag.

"You call this useful?" he asked.

"I've been making them," Boring replied.

"With your "pen", I suppose," Dango sarcastically replied, flinging aside the rag.

"We've got this, Dango," Worthy insisted.

"No, Worthy, I have this," Dango told her. "You are here merely to guide me. And Boring is here to clean up."

"Clean up?" Boring echoed.

"Just be glad you are actually useful to me for once, Boring," Dango viciously answered her. "Rather than just turning up instead of her."

"You might want to consider calling her something better than "Boring"," Worthy whispered to Dango.

"I'll stop calling her "Boring" when she shows me that she's worth my effort to learn her name," Dango whispered back.

"I'd rather you didn't always call me Boring," Boring said.

"You are named for what you are," Dango told her. "You are named Boring because you are boring, and Worthy is named Worthy because she is worthy."

"Do you know why we named you "Dango"?" Worthy asked.

"I don't even know what "dango" is," Dango replied.

"It's a sweet dumpling, served on a stick," Boring explained.

"Oh I see," Dango sneered. "I suppose you both think it's amusing to see me humiliate myself. To see me skewered like a piece of human food."

"There's more to it than that, big guy," Worthy said. "It's also because you're actually quite sweet."

"I thought it was because he's actually quite soft?" Boring asked.

Worthy started to giggle, and Boring shortly joined in.

"Yes, laugh it up, you pair of hags!" Dango spat angrily. "After I crush this spider, I don't ever want to see you again, Boring!"

"What about me?" Worthy asked him.

"I can tolerate you," he answered, somehow making his words sound like an insult.

"Steady with the charm there, Dango," Worthy said. "I don't think my poor knees can take it."

"I hate both of you," Dango grumbled.

The screen popped and went blank.

"Botan?"

Botan turned around to see Yukina was sitting up in bed and rubbing a hand at her eyes. Although her face still looked sleepy, she had that thing that Botan only ever noticed on demons: her hair fell flawlessly, as though she had not just been sleeping on it.

"Good morning, Yukina," Botan greeted her. "Are we… Did we have dinner here last night?"

"No," Yukina answered, shaking her head. "Or, at least, I didn't. I just came here later, with Shizuru, for the sleepover."

"Oh, okay," Botan said, nodding her head. "And today, we are…?"

"Going shopping, having lunch at the food court, going to a movie and then having dinner here," Yukina replied.

"Those are all my favourite things to do," Botan mused quietly.

"Mine too!" Yukina said, smiling sweetly.

It struck Botan as odd that she had been granted two consecutive days off work to do as she pleased, but she was not about to question the blessing. Koenma must have forgotten himself to have made such a mistake.

"I'm going to make breakfast for everyone," Yukina said, picking her way over Keiko and stepping into a pair of slippers at the bedside.

"I'll give you a hand," Botan offered, standing up.

A quick glance around told Botan that, again, Keiko and Yukina had gone to sleep in a shared bed in their pyjamas and she and Shizuru had fallen asleep on the floor in their clothes, but at least this time it was just a sleepover with the girls, and she would not have to worry about any comments from the boys about her condition. For the sake of her dignity, she smoothed her hands over her hair as she followed Yukina through the house to the kitchen.

Once they reached their destination, it became apparent to Botan that they were alone in the house: Keiko's parents were usually up early, and the fact that they were not already up and about could only mean that they were not at home. Yukina certainly seemed to know her way around the kitchen however, as she quickly and quietly took out everything she needed to make a cooked breakfast. Botan watched her arrange everything before turning on the spot to look for some way she could assist.

Her eyes landed on a block of knives.

Botan slowly moved over to the knives, something about their presence, about their black handles, drawing her in. There were five of them in the block – it always seemed to be the way that they came in blocks of five – and she reached for the one on the top right, the one she felt she needed to retrieve. She slid the knife from the block, the sound of the blade pressing against the wooden block sounding louder than seemed natural. Once she had it free, she turned the knife around, looking down at the wide side of the blade. The blade was silver, and she could see her own face reflected back at her. The blade was sharp and smooth.

"Are you going to help me or not?"

Botan looked up from the knife to find Yukina giving her a slightly tense look. Yukina could, on occasion, be quite abrupt. And, when those occasions arose, she had a tendency to adopt a facial expression that made her look unmistakably like her twin brother.

"Yes, of course!" Botan answered her.

Yukina pushed a bowl and a box of eggs along the kitchen counter and Botan moved over to start preparing the food.

"Yukina?" Botan began. "When you woke up this morning, did you notice the television was on?"

"No," Yukina plainly replied.

"So then you didn't see that cartoon?" Botan asked.

Yukina gave her a slightly odd look.

"You were watching cartoons?" she asked.

"No, it just happened to be on," Botan replied. "At the same moment that I happened to look."

"That's what you said about that time you were caught in Keiko's wardrobe when she had Yusuke in her bedroom."

Botan paused.

"I didn't believe you then. I don't believe you now."

Botan sighed and put on her cutest cat face.

"Sometimes a girl just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time," she said.

"You said that then, too," Yukina flatly replied.

Botan began mixing the eggs in the bowl.

"Nothing gets by you, does it Yukina?" she said.

"No."

Botan smiled to herself: she knew one glaring thing that had gotten by Yukina, one thing that continued to get by Yukina every day. But, other than that one thing, the ice maiden could be very perceptive. Oftentimes when she stayed quiet it was not because she knew nothing about a given situation, but rather she was being tactful and choosing not to talk about it. Botan felt that maybe that was something not a lot of people really knew about Yukina, not even Hiei. It was a side of her that Botan felt only she and Shizuru ever really saw.

"Oh, Botan, Yukina! Why didn't you wake me up?"

Botan turned to see Keiko shuffling into the kitchen in her slippers.

"You're my guests, I'll make us breakfast!" she insisted, taking the bowl of eggs from Botan.

"I like cooking," Yukina told her.

"You can sit down, Yukina, I'll make for everyone," Keiko offered.

"No, you two make breakfast, Botan and I will make smoothies for us," Shizuru said, moving into the kitchen and grabbing Botan's arm.

Botan started to ask Shizuru what she meant, but when she looked out a blender and began gathering fruits together, it became apparent that she had meant exactly what she had said.

"Yes, this will be nice," Botan said instead, loading fruits into the blender. "Something to enjoy on our day out together!"

Shizuru gathered four bottles and, after waiting for the blender to finish, she poured the contents into two of the bottles and closed them up, before placing the jug back on the blender and switching it on again. Botan frowned at her questioningly, but Shizuru just smiled and winked at her, before slipping a hip flask from a pocket somewhere and adding most of the contents to the blender.

"Let's just make this day a little more fun for us, right Botan?" she whispered.

Botan smiled as Shizuru switched off the blender and poured out their drinks. She gave one of the enhanced drinks to Botan and took one for herself, leaving the other two for Keiko and Yukina.

"I have the whole day planned out," Keiko announced. "And we're on a schedule."

Botan was suddenly glad Shizuru had spiked her smoothie.

"This will be nice," Yukina said. "To have a day together."

"Yes, absolutely," Botan agreed.

Keiko began serving up breakfast and Botan gladly started on hers. Something about food had felt different lately, like she could really taste every flavour, really feel the texture of every different type of food. It made being in the human world so much more delightful than usual.

* * *

"I can't make up my mind," Keiko said, eying herself in the mirror.

Botan took a quick swig from her smoothie, pushing down the idea that she wished she had gone with Shizuru and Yukina instead of Keiko. The group had split up upon arrival at the mall, and Botan had only offered to go with Keiko to save her being alone: but she was beginning to regret her choice.

"Keiko, you look wonderful in both outfits," she tried. "Why not just get both?"

"I can't buy that skirt, it rides up too much," Keiko replied, pointing at a skirt she had discarded onto a nearby seat.

"I think you maybe over-think things like that," Botan said. "Sometimes it's okay to wear something a little shorter."

"I'm sick of Yusuke making digs at me about the size of my… Well, you know…" Keiko replied. "I don't need to wear a skirt that makes it look even bigger."

"Oh Keiko, he doesn't mean it as an insult!"

"Well, you know what the say about women with big…"

"Some men find that very attractive."

Keiko turned around and gave Botan a glare she felt was too harsh, given the situation.

"Women with big asses are whores," she said.

"What?" Botan yelped.

"It looks whorish," Keiko complained. "And I always knew it would happen to me."

Botan took another sip of her smoothie.

"Because my mom has a big ass."

Botan almost choked on her drink.

"But Keiko," she pointed out. "That means your mom…"

"I bet she was a whore before she met my dad."

Botan snorted but quickly clapped a hand over her mouth when Keiko rounded on her.

"It's okay, Botan," Keiko assured her. "I think it's pretty funny too."

Keiko sat down next to Botan with a small sigh.

"Sometimes I'm really jealous of you and Shizuru and Yukina," she said.

"Why?" Botan asked.

"Well, it just seems easier for you," Keiko said. "You're all so much more comfortable in your lives than I am in mine."

"I don't know if that's true, Keiko."

"It seems like it is. I feel like I'm the only one of us who's always struggling to be better."

"At least you know what you want and you're working towards it. I had to get attacked by a demon to know what I really want, and, rather than being brave enough to try to get it for myself, I just… Went back."

Botan swallowed, with difficulty, past the lump in her throat, and fumbled for her smoothie. It had never really occurred to her before that moment, but, suddenly, she found herself overwhelmed by the thought that she had been drifting, directionless, until the Lure showed her an ideal existence: and everything she had done since then had only made it impossible for her to ever have anything she had seen herself with.

She was never going to get promoted to another role in Spirit World – she had seen to that when she had wilfully gone back to the Lure, and reaffirmed it when she had attacked Ayame – and she was never going to be able to enjoy life with her friends again – they would surely think less of her for continually going back to the Lure.

Where were they?

The mall, Keiko, the light, all became swallowed into darkness, and Botan found herself alone, in a still darkness. She was still in a seated position, but she felt as though she was floating – maybe sinking – through space. But the only thing she could think about was her friends. Where were they? In between times she had been to the Lure, she had seen no-one. Kuwabara, Yusuke and once Kurama had helped her back to Spirit World, but after that, only Ayame had consistently been around. Where were the others? Had they disowned her? Neither Koenma nor Ayame had mentioned anyone asking for her. Were they really that ashamed of her?

And where was Hiei?

"We have a schedule to keep, stop daydreaming, and come on!"

Colour and light flooded in around Botan as Keiko grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. She stumbled a few steps but shortly caught up with Keiko, realising as they left the shop that, at some point during her moment of distraction, Keiko had purchased three bags of clothes. From three different shops.

"I bet Yusuke wishes he could zone out like that," Botan muttered.

"What was that?" Keiko asked her.

"Oh, nothing!" Botan replied through an awkward laugh.

Keiko appeared to accept Botan's reply, despite how guilty she had sounded, and they continued to the food court, where they reunited with Shizuru and Yukina. Once they had their food orders and chosen a table, Botan sat down next to Yukina, noticing then that the ice maiden had chosen a selection of small dishes, which she then meticulously pieced together onto a single plate. Yukina had some odd habits – perhaps because she was a demon, or perhaps because she was an ice maiden – but there was something quite controlled and measured about most of the things she did. The way she ate, the way she cooked, the way she tended the gardens around Genkai's temple.

"That looks nice," Botan commented.

Yukina paused to look at the sandwich in Botan's hand.

"Probably nicer than what I have," Botan added.

"I can share with you, if you like?" Yukina offered.

"Oh, that's so sweet of you!" Botan gushed. "But you don't have to do that."

Yukina nodded and continued assembling her meal.

"How do you do it, Yukina?" Botan asked her.

"Well, I choose ingredients I like," Yukina began.

"No, not the food," Botan interrupted her. "I mean, how do you stay so calm all the time? Don't you ever get angry, or wish things were different?"

Yukina paused, and looked thoughtful for a moment, before shaking her head and smiling.

"I don't have anything to be angry about," she concluded. "And there's nothing I would want to change."

"Nothing?" Botan asked. "Nothing at all?"

"Nothing at all," Yukina confirmed.

"But… What if you did want something to change. Something that you couldn't control. Like… Don't you wish you could find your brother?"

"Well, yes, that would be very nice. But I'm not unhappy about not having found him yet. I'll find him one day. And when I do, we'll have lots to talk about."

"You don't know that you'll ever find him."

"Yes I do."

"How?"

"Hope."

Botan nodded slowly, before taking a bite out of her sandwich. Hope was something not to be underestimated, she thought to herself. And, if someone like Yukina could hold onto hope as confidently as she did, it was something everyone should be able to do.

"You never doubt it?" Botan asked.

"No," Yukina calmly replied. "I've seen sadness. And I've experienced happiness. I know which is the better path, and that's the one I choose."

Botan nodded.

"That's good advice," she said. "You're very wise."

Yukina giggled softly.

"You make me sound like an old lady!" she said, when Botan gave her a questioning look.

Botan smiled. Although Yukina was young – especially so for a demon – she was arguably the wisest of all four sat at the table. She had seen and done more than Shizuru, Keiko and Botan combined: but she rarely spoke about the trials she had overcome to leave her village and come to the human world, or how she really felt about her struggle to find her brother.

It was really quite sad that Hiei would not tell her who he really was. It was sad for Yukina, as she was left wondering, and it was sad for Hiei, as his failure to tell her came down to the fact that he considered himself unworthy of being her brother.

"You can't change the past," Yukina said, as though she had been reading Botan's thoughts. "You can't change who you were in the past. You can only look forwards, to the future, and try to do more now and be more now."

Botan paused.

"Does that sound silly?" Yukina asked her.

"No," Botan replied, shaking her head. "That might actually be the least silly thing I've ever heard."

Yukina smiled, that sweet, genuine, warm way that she did, and they carried on eating. Once they had finished their meal, the group went back to Keiko's car to stow their shopping bags before heading off to the cinema. As they neared the entrance, Botan finished her smoothie, turning to Shizuru expectantly.

"Yeah, me too," Shizuru said to her, shaking her own empty bottle to demonstrate her point. "But I've got us covered."

She patted a back pocket on her pants, which seemed to be in the shape of a hip-flask. Botan smiled and together they continued into the cinema. Botan did not notice which movie they were going to see until it started. As they usually did, Yukina and Keiko sat together, one row from the back, and Botan and Shizuru sat behind them in the very back row. When the title told Botan it was not only a movie she had seen before, but also a very cliched one, she groaned, but brightened a little when Shizuru pushed her hip flask into her hand. Botan gladly took a drink, and, before long, could feel the warmth in her face of having had a little too much to drink.

"This film is crap," she said.

Keiko rounded on her with a look of horror on her face.

"She was joking," Shizuru quickly explained.

Keiko gave Botan a hard look before turning back in her seat.

"I wasn't joking," Botan whispered to Shizuru.

"Keiko likes it," Shizuru whispered back. "Just let her have it."

"She only likes it because this is how she expects Yusuke to behave," Botan complained.

"Sweetie, you have no idea how that boy behaves behind closed doors with her," Shizuru said. "Maybe he's a hopeless romantic when his friends aren't watching, and he doesn't need to keep up his tough guy act."

"No, he's not."

"You don't know that."

"I do know that. I watch them."

"Come on, Botan."

"I'm not kidding! I've seen them alone together. It's not romantic. Most of the time, it's not even exciting. They just kiss, and the second he puts his hands under her clothes, she slaps him away."

Shizuru sniggered into her hand.

"I'm not joking, Shizuru!" Botan insisted.

"I know, that's what makes it so funny!" Shizuru replied.

"Shizuru, I think you've had too much to drink. Gimme that."

Botan took the flask forcibly from her friend.

"You can talk," Shizuru snorted. "You're drunk too."

"That's as may be, but I look cute when I'm drunk."

"And I don't?"

"Not as cute as me."

Keiko turned in her chair again, glaring at Botan and Shizuru in turn.

"Neither of you look cute!" she hissed. "And talking all the way through my favourite film is definitely not cute either!"

"Sorry, Keiko," Botan said, patting her on the head.

"Don't do that," Shizuru said, pulling Botan's arm away.

"Just be quiet, both of you!" Keiko growled, before turning away again.

Botan turned to pout at Shizuru.

"That was your fault, Shizuru," she said. "You got me in trouble."

Shizuru gave her a sceptical look.

"This movie is so boring though!" Botan moaned.

"I think it's kinda cute," Shizuru replied.

"Ugh, no you don't!" Botan grumbled.

"Actually, I kinda do," Shizuru replied.

Botan pouted and thinned her eyes, but Shizuru shook her head.

"Think about it," she said. "It's about a girl who is happy enough with her life, but then meets a boy who shakes her up, and makes her realise she's been missing love this whole time. You don't think that's cute?"

Botan paused to mull over Shizuru's words. She had never really thought about the overall premise of the movie before, but, hearing it summarised the way Shizuru had just summarised it, it did sound much better than it usually seemed when she was watching it.

"The jokes are terrible," Shizuru offered. "And it's twenty years old, and those jokes have not aged well."

"Not at all," Botan agreed.

"But the overall story is still pretty cute," Shizuru added.

"I suppose it is," Botan agreed.

"Come on, Botan. You're just like the girl in this movie. You have friends, you like your job, you're happy with your life, but are you really telling me you wouldn't want some guy to swoop in and sweep you off your feet with some big romantic gesture?"

"There are no big romantic gestures in this movie."

"At the end of the movie, the boy gets all the girl's friends to help him break her out of the cubicle she works in so he can take her on a dream date, where he proposes to her."

"Yes, well, there's that… It's not very sexy though."

"I never said it was sexy! I said it was romantic!"

Botan paused.

"You do know the difference between sexy and romantic, right Botan?" Shizuru asked.

"Yes, and I suppose I've seen a little bit of both, but…" Botan began.

"But what?" Shizuru pressed.

"But they weren't as satisfying as I thought they'd be. I don't even know why…"

The cinema suddenly seemed very dark – darker than usual – until Botan was no longer able to see Shizuru at her side, or Keiko and Yukina sitting in front of her. For a long, silent, moment, she found herself floating in darkness. The Lure had never really delivered on its promises to her, she thought to herself. It made it seem like it had, but it never had. Not really. It had never really let her experience anything that she considered fantastically sexy or romantic.

Botan sneezed harshly, and light and colour flooded back into her world: and she found herself flying on her oar, down towards Genkai's temple. She looked to her side and found Yukina sitting there.

"Today passed really quickly," Botan commented.

"It was a nice day though," Yukina replied.

"I thought we were having dinner at Keiko's house," Botan pointed out as she landed outside the temple.

"We are," Yukina replied. "I made a cream cake. I have to fetch it from inside."

"Oh, okay," Botan said, nodding her head.

She could not remember agreeing to take Yukina to collect a cake but decided just to go with the flow. She watched Yukina enter the temple before turning her head to one side, towards the treeline. She glanced back at the door, still closing behind Yukina, biting her lip as she weighed up her options: she was sure she had the time, she was sure it would take Yukina a few minutes to collect the cake, and a few minutes was all the time she needed.

Botan leapt onto her oar and bolted through the air, across the temple grounds, over trees, up a slope and out over a valley that looked exactly the same as the sky above her.

She flew down, smiling when she noticed a lone figure, standing in one of the flooded fields, a few steps down from the top of the mountain. She removed her shoes and landed at the edge of the field, banishing her oar and placing down her shoes before wading into the water. As she neared the centre of the field, Hiei turned to face her, looking her straight in the eye, and smiling softly.

"I thought I might find you here," she explained.

"Likewise," he replied.

"You came here to look for me?" she asked.

"Yes."

Botan smiled.

"I had a nice day today," she said. "I spent the day with all my best friends: Shizuru, Yukina and Keiko."

Hiei's eyes moved to one side, and a hint of a frown flickered over his face.

"They're more than just my friends," Botan said as he moved his eyes back to hers. "They're more like my sisters. Shizuru is the big sister, the rebel, who I can have grown-up fun with. Keiko is like my twin. She's a little bit competitive, but she keeps me on my toes. And Yukina is like my little sister. My sweet, kind, caring little sister."

Hiei sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure you have friends in Spirit World too," he said in a strangely forced tone.

Botan shook her head.

"No, not really," she said. "No-one I would trust like my sisters."

"I see," Hiei said.

"We're just like you and the boys," Botan added.

"I doubt that," he replied.

"It's true," she insisted. "Shizuru is like Yusuke. She's the strongest of us–"

"What makes you think Yusuke is stronger than me?"

"–and she's the one that gets me into trouble all the time. Keiko is like Kuwabara. She's the weakest of us and feels left out sometimes when the rest of us can see and sense things that she can't. And Yukina is like Kurama. She's so wise, and so calm, but she carries with her a painful past."

"And I suppose that means you think you and I are alike?"

"Hmm?"

"You just likened all your friends to all of mine. The only ones left are you and me."

"Oh… Yes, I see what you mean."

Hiei gave Botan a slightly sad look.

"In what ways are you and I alike?" he asked.

Botan touched her index finer to her chin and adopted a thoughtful look. She had not really thought through her analogy until she reached the end of it and she had not intentionally meant to leave herself as the equivalent of Hiei within her own group of friends.

"Stubborn, repressed and angry," Hiei said, his face set into a sneer.

"What?" Botan echoed.

"Those are things you and I have in common," he said in a tone that bordered on sarcastic. "Apparently."

"I'm not stubborn!" Botan complained. "And I'm not an angry person, I'm a happy person!"

"You are stubborn," Hiei replied. "And you can be angry."

"Well I'm definitely not the other thing! What was it?"

"Repressed."

"Right. I'm not repressed."

"Have you and I ever had sex?"

Botan froze.

"We've never had sex, right?"

Botan slowly searched Hiei's eyes for some sign that she had either misheard him or he was playing some sort of strange game with her.

"Don't you wonder why that is?" he asked.

"Why what is?" she asked.

"That we've never had sex," Hiei replied.

"That's what I thought you said…"

"You probably don't understand why. It might have even happened in your dreams."

"Have you been reading my mind when I'm asleep?"

"I don't need to. I know enough of the limitations of the Lure to know why. You're a virgin."

"What?"

"Am I wrong?"

Botan could feel her face burning, but Hiei was giving her such a plain, unaffected look, she found it difficult to get as outraged as she felt.

"It's none of your business, Mister!" she eventually retorted.

"If you weren't, we would have had sex by now," Hiei plainly replied.

"Why are you assuming I would just have sex with you?" Botan cried.

"Because you've been fantasising about seeing me naked, idiot!" Hiei spat back. "You've been wishing for me to steal my way into Spirit World and snatch you out of the shower and have my way with you! If you weren't a virgin, that would have actually happened! You wouldn't have just imagined it, it would have happened. I would have shown up, and – shut the hell up and let me do this!"

Botan frowned. Hiei had suddenly turned his head to one side to glare at something she could not see, his last remark apparently having been directed that way.

"I don't understand," she said.

"The Lure relies on accuracy to make your illusions binding and desirable to you," Hiei explained, moving his eyes back to hers, his tone softer once more. "The only limitations your illusions have are those of your own reality. The Lure cannot make you experience something you don't understand. You would know it was fake. You've never had sex in any of your illusions because you are a virgin. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you now?"

"I think so."

"Good."

"But you could have been more polite about it."

"The point is, you are repressed."

"Well so are you!"

"Yes, but in a different way."

Botan baulked: she had not expected Hiei to agree with her.

"You desire sex because it's forbidden for you," he said, his tone again surprisingly soft. "It's something sacred in your world. It's not sex, it's "love-making", and it only happens when and where love exists. The rules in my world are a little different."

"Is this about oral sex?"

Hiei gave Botan a tense, irritated look.

"You're much more of a pervert than I ever thought you were," he growled.

"I've always been curious about oral sex though," Botan mused.

Hiei's face changed, a spark of something akin to curiosity appearing in his eyes.

"Giving or receiving?" he asked in a low voice.

Botan frowned.

"I-I never thought about receiving it before…" she whispered.

"So… You fantasise solely about giving it?" Hiei asked.

For a moment, they stood looking at each other curiously before Hiei groaned and sighed.

"Never mind," he said dismissively. "My point was…"

"Did you forget?" Botan asked him.

"I'm trying to concentrate, and you're putting ideas into my head, woman," he groaned.

He growled and smoothed his hands over his hair, which stayed slightly flattened afterwards. When his hands fell to his sides, Botan noticed that they appeared to be smeared in blood. She frowned, taking a step forwards, intent on asking him about it: but her movement made him look her in the eye with renewed focus.

"My point was that the Lure will never let you experience sex in an illusion because you have no point of reference from reality that it can base it's falsehood upon," he said. "And the fact you don't know what sex feels like is what makes you repressed: you want it – clearly quite badly – but you've never had it, because your world has taught you it's only possible when love is involved. In my world, there is a similar thing. And that's what makes me repressed."

"You're a virgin too?"

"No!"

"It's okay if you are…"

"Sex isn't frowned upon or difficult to come across in Demon World."

"Then I don't understand."

"It's not sex I can't have, it's kissing."

"Kissing?"

"In Demon World, a kiss is something that can only happen where love exists. Just like how you have never experienced sex, I have never experienced a kiss."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because if you really want sex as much as you seem to, you need to understand that the only way you will ever experience it is in the real world. Away from the Lure. It's something you want so badly, but it's one of the few things the Lure can never give you."

"But… You can?"

Hiei's pupils shrank as though he had just been startled by something.

"I didn't say that," he quickly said.

"I thought you were offering to–"

"No."

"Oh."

"Just… Think about what I've said."

Botan nodded. She turned to look back up the mountain.

"I should go, Yukina will be wondering where I am," she said. "But I…"

Botan's voice trailed off as she turned around to find that Hiei had vanished. She turned on the spot, in two complete circles, but saw no trace of which direction he had left in. She sighed, summoned her oar, and started back to collect Yukina.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan and Yukina rejoin Shizuru and Keiko for dinner, but the meal turns into a night of adventure when they are joined by some extra guests. Botan cringes when the karaoke machine makes an appearance, but quickly changes her mind when her favourite song – that song about LOVE – starts to play. **Chapter 22: Something in Your Eyes**


	22. Something in Your Eyes

**Last Chapter:** Botan awoke to another day in the human world (and another instalment of that odd cartoon). After spending the day with her girlfriends (and each of them giving her something to think about), she found Hiei in the RICE FIELDS once more, where he told her the Lure's powers are in fact LIMITED and she can only experience things realistically in her illusions if she's EXPERIENCED THEM IN REAL LIFE

* * *

**Chapter 22: Something in Your Eyes**

Botan was helping Shizuru set the table for dinner when she began to become aware of music playing in the adjacent room. She turned to Shizuru, but her friend either did not hear it, or did not care for it, as she did not respond, rather finished her task and moved back to the kitchen. Botan turned to the source of the noise, taking herself into the living room. The curtains were drawn, and the lights were out in the living room, and so the television screen seemed especially bright as it displayed a familiar logo.

"It's the DWB Show!"

"Again?" Botan groaned.

"The adventures of Dango the cat, Worthy the dog and Boring the mouse!"

"Such ridiculous names," she grumbled.

"In today's episode, Dango the cat is worried," the narrator explained, as the white cat appeared on the screen, looking smoother than he usually did and a little bit sleepy.

"What happened the last time you did this?" he asked.

Boring the mouse appeared on the screen next to him, looking at him worriedly.

"I asked you a question, you miserable mouse!" Dango snapped.

"Take it easy, big guy," Worthy the dog warned, walking onto the screen.

"I-I don't understand the question," Boring said in a small, meek voice.

"The last time you did this," Dango said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and barely restrained patience. "What happened?"

He swiped up a rag in his paw and threw it at the mouse, who cowered away from it.

"What difference does it make?" Worthy interjected. "Obviously she knows what she's doing. Let her worry about what she's doing, you just concentrate on what you're doing. And try not to get yourself killed while you're at it. We'd rather you stayed a dango and didn't end up a stain on the ground."

"The only stain around here is her," Dango spat back, pointing a paw at Boring. "Boring, you have done this before. Tell me how many times you have done this and tell me you are capable of doing it quickly."

Boring gulped audibly.

"Oh shit Boring, you've never done this before?" Worthy asked, sounding suddenly, unusually, alarmed.

"I read about it in the book!" Boring wailed. "It was all in the book! I did exactly what it said in the book! I've seen others doing it, I've just never actually done it myself!"

"We're fucked," Dango growled.

"No, we're not fucked," Worthy disagreed. "Boring, you can do this. I believe in you. And I know you will do it–"

"And do it quickly," Dango cut in.

"And do it quickly," Worthy repeated. "Because I trust you. Okay?"

Boring quivered all over.

"That's a lot of pressure," she squeaked.

"You've dealt with demons before," Worthy said.

Boring slowly shook her head.

"This is why she is boring," Dango said to Worthy. "This is why she will never be anything more than a miserable, pathetic, dismal, underwhelming excuse for…"

Dango turned his head sharply, his eyes staring directly out of the television screen. Worthy moved closer to him and copied his action, and, for a long moment, Botan felt unable to blink as she stared back at the cartoon eyes staring out of the screen directly at her.

"Boring cares about her just as much as you and I do," Worthy said in a gentle voice, before turning her eyes back to Dango.

"Care?" Dango hissed, turning to glare at Worthy. "Care is a human word. It's empty. It doesn't describe anything. This isn't about caring. This is about…"

Dango stomped across the screen and Worthy edged closer to Boring.

"This is about someone who can't deal with any emotion that doesn't land neatly on the spectrum from irked to unholy rage," she whispered to the mouse.

Boring brightened a little then.

"Stupid four-letter words that are supposed to encompass everything so neatly," Dango muttered. "It doesn't work like that. It isn't neat. It's messy. It's big. Much bigger than one stupid little word."

Worthy and Boring leaned closer to each other with knowing smiles and, in unison, whispered a single word.

"Love."

The screen turned black with a pop.

"Sweetie, are you okay?"

Botan turned to see Shizuru standing behind her.

"You're not still tipsy, are you?" her friend asked under her breath.

"No," Botan replied, shaking her head. "I'm fine now."

"Good," Shizuru said, turning her around and putting an arm around her shoulders. "Because this smells like it's gonna be amazing, and it would be a waste if you threw it all up, right?"

"Right," Botan agreed with a smile.

Botan sat down at the table, looking around the steaming plates of food.

"This was a lovely day," Yukina said.

"Yeah, it was nice," Keiko agreed.

Botan started eating, once more finding herself enjoying the taste and the texture of the food so much. Food had been tasting so great lately. Usually, she would find at least one thing she was not too keen on, but that evening, everything was perfect. Even at lunch, even choosing a plain sandwich, she had enjoyed her food. Life just felt more fulfilling, more complete, less flawed.

"I wish I could stay another night," Keiko commented sadly.

"You have to go back to school?" Shizuru asked.

"Yeah, unfortunately," Keiko replied.

"That means my little brother should be going back too," Shizuru commented.

"Didn't he go back earlier today?" Keiko asked.

Shizuru shook her head.

"He went out with Yusuke and Kurama," she said.

"Do you think they went looking for a demon?" Keiko asked, starting to look worried.

"No, but I do think they went out looking for trouble," Shizuru said.

"They'll be okay if Kurama is with them," Botan offered. "He's sensible, he'll make sure they don't get up to any mischief."

"I don't know if we can trust Kurama, either," Shizuru said, her voice sounding strange suddenly. "He's not exactly pulled through for us so far. If I'm being honest, I don't trust anyone right now. Except you, sweetie. You and Dango."

Botan dropped her spoon with a clatter against her plate, her eyes doubling in size as she fixed them onto Shizuru.

"What did you just say?" she asked.

"I said you're right," Shizuru said, smiling at her. "Kurama knows how to behave himself, he'll keep the boys in line. I trust him."

Botan slowly shook her head, but Shizuru carried on eating.

"Dango," Botan said. "You-you spoke about Dango."

"We're not having dango, I made a cream cake, remember Botan?" Yukina said.

"No, not that kind of dango!" Botan said. "Dango the cat!"

"Dango the cat?" Keiko repeated. "Gees, Kuwabara sure does like giving his cats dumb names…"

Botan shook her head.

"When did Kazuma get a new cat?" Yukina asked.

"He didn't," Shizuru replied.

When Keiko and Yukina gave Botan strange looks, almost as though they thought she was talking utter nonsense, she stopped, deciding that she must simply have misheard Shizuru.

"Cream cake is better than dango," she said weakly.

The others nodded, and they continued on with their meal: but Botan could not shake from her mind what she was sure she had heard. She also could not get past the fact that there was something slightly sinister about that odd cartoon that kept playing on the television. It was clearly not meant for children, and nothing of any substance ever seemed to happen in any given episode: but it had a palpable atmosphere of something much darker, as though something was happening just beyond the limitations of the television screen, something terrible, something dark, something awful.

Just as Botan was falling deeper and deeper into the idea that something was missing, a loud knocking sound snapped her back to the present moment.

"Who could that be?" Keiko asked, wiping her face with a napkin and rising from her seat.

Yukina looked confused, but Shizuru looked as though she knew exactly who it was that had just knocked on the front door. Botan started to ask her who she thought it was, but before she could finish her question, Keiko had opened the door, and Yusuke's louder than polite greeting gave her the answer she sought.

"I smell food," Yusuke said, making his way into the house. "Nice, I'm starving."

He sat down in Keiko's chair and began helping himself to the food on her plate.

"Urameshi, don't be rude!" Kuwabara complained as he joined them.

"There's enough for you if you'd like to join us, Kazuma," Yukina offered.

"Alright my lovely!" Kuwabara said, melting into a goofy smile and pulling up a chair to sit next to Yukina.

"My apologies, I hope we are not interrupting," Kurama said as he entered the room.

"No, it's fine," Keiko said with a sigh. "There's enough for everyone, you might as well join us."

Botan turned in her chair as Hiei moved into the doorway. He stopped there, crossing his arms and leaning one shoulder against the doorframe.

"I thought you might have gone home," he said.

Botan turned her chair to face him fully.

"I'll go home later," she said.

"Because…"

He looked about himself, before his eyes once more settled on hers.

"You needed to be here to watch Unworthy make a fool of himself in front of Yukina?" he asked.

"Unworthy?" Botan repeated.

"You need to be here to watch Yusuke eat like an animal?" Hiei asked.

"Did you just call Kuwabara "Unworthy"?"

"Why didn't you go home?"

Botan pushed her chair back further and stood up from it, moving over towards Hiei.

"What's the point of this?" he asked. "This is just eating human food in the human world. You can do that any time. Why now?"

"I'm spending time with my friends, Hiei!" Botan replied, her tone becoming indignant as she began to suspect that he was trying to make her feel bad about her choices.

"You did this already," Hiei said. "You ate human food and then watched these idiots playing with their karaoke machine."

"Oh hey, karaoke!" Kuwabara called over. "That's a great idea!"

"That's a terrible idea," Hiei said to Botan. "Why are you letting him say that?"

"He always wants to get out the karaoke machine," Botan replied.

Hiei backed out of the doorway as the others began to move towards it, and Botan shortly found herself being bustled through the house.

"But Keiko doesn't have a karaoke machine," she said.

"I don't think that matters," Hiei groaned.

As they stepped into the living room, Botan looked about herself curiously. She had never noticed before that the living room in Keiko's house looked exactly the same as the living room in Shizuru's house. Maybe it was the living room in Shizuru's house.

"You wanna sing us a song, Botan?" Yusuke asked.

Botan shook her head.

"It's too embarrassing!" she wailed.

"Yes it is," Hiei agreed.

"Really?" Yusuke asked, looking far too pleased with himself. "Hey Kuwabara, you've still got that CD, right?"

"Right here, Urameshi!" Kuwabara replied, producing a CD from seemingly nowhere.

"Put it on," Yusuke said, grinning in a way that made Botan apprehensive. "Track two, wasn't it?"

"Oh yeah, right!" Kuwabara said.

Botan turned her head as she suddenly became aware that Hiei was at her side, glaring at her intensely.

"No," he said quietly.

She frowned.

"No," he said again, shaking his head. "Not this. Anything but this."

"I don't want to sing!" Botan answered him. "It's so embarrassing!"

"Is-is that what it is now?" Hiei asked, looking strangely unsure of himself. "Is that what it will take? Humiliation? Allowing myself to be gored in ten places by this beak-faced bastard isn't enough for you?"

"Come on, Hiei!" Yusuke called over. "We all know you know the words just as well as Botan does!"

Botan turned more fully towards Hiei.

"You know this song?" she asked.

"How could I not?" he replied. "You ask for it to be played every time we all get together and it's always in your head. You're obsessed with it!"

"It is lovely," Botan said.

"This is what you want," Hiei said.

"Yeah, this is what she wants, Hiei," Yusuke said. "Now quit stalling and start singing."

Botan froze as Yusuke handed the microphone to Hiei.

"You understand this is not something I would ever really do," he said in a low voice.

"But you are really doing it," Yusuke said.

"You're not really going to…?" Botan asked, pointing weakly towards the karaoke machine.

"I don't make the rules around here, you do," Hiei growled back.

Botan opened her mouth and reached out a hand towards Hiei, but words failed her when he lifted the microphone to his mouth. Yusuke and Kuwabara were cheering (or perhaps jeering was a more accurate description) him as the music reached the point where the vocals would normally start. Hiei muttered something barely audible that seemed to line up with the first line of the song.

"Come on Hiei, we all know you know every single damn word!" Yusuke shouted at him.

Hiei muttered his way through the second line and Botan started to feel that she should make it stop, it was too ridiculous, too humiliating: despite her having always wanted him to express himself to her the way the song expressed love, being faced with that actually happening was too much.

But her hand fell to her side and she forgot everything when he did actually start to sing.

"I was meant to tread the water, but now I've gotten in too deep."

Yusuke started to make a catcall, but was cut short when Shizuru slapped him over the back of the head.

"For every piece of me that wants you, another piece backs away. Cause you give me something that makes me scared alright. This could be nothing, but I'm willing to give it a try. Please give me something, cause someday I might know my heart."

The sounds of Keiko, Yusuke, Kuwabara and everyone else quietly talking in the background dissolved into a darkness that flooded in around Botan, until all she could see or hear was Hiei.

"I can say I've never bought you flowers, I can't work out what they mean. I never thought that I'd love someone, that was someone else's dream."

Botan reached a hand out towards Hiei again, but this time her action somehow pulled her closer to him, until she could almost touch him.

"Please give me something, cause someday I might call you from my heart – but it might be a second too late. And the words I could never say, are gonna come out anyway."

Hiei started to reach out a hand and Botan looked towards it, expecting to take hold of it: but before she could act, he grabbed her hand – a little harshly – and pulled her forcefully forwards. His hand was warm, his skin rough, the bandaging around his palm frayed and uneven. She stumbled a few steps before her feet splashed into water, deeper and deeper until she was in above her knees. Then, and only then, the darkness faded, and Botan found herself standing in the middle of a rice field, with Hiei standing in front of her, still holding her hand.

"What happened?" she asked, looking about herself. "We were having dinner, and you were singing–"

"Don't think about that," Hiei interrupted her. "You need to focus on this."

"Focus on what?" she asked.

"This."

Hiei held up his hand, still holding hers, in the air between them.

"I don't understand," Botan said, shaking her head. "We were having dinner. We were all having a nice time, why are we here now?"

"I'm trying to make a connection, and you're not helping," Hiei replied, sounding a little irritated.

"Make a connection?" Botan repeated. "You were making a lovely connection back at the party when you started singing–"

"Forget about that, I'm trying to break the connection!"

"You just said you were trying to make a connection."

"I am!"

"Then why did you just say you're trying to break a connection?"

Hiei groaned and tightened his hold of her hand, to the point that it was almost painful.

"I'm trying to break the connection between you and the bird, and I am trying to make a connection between you and me," he said.

"Me and the bird?" Botan repeated. "Are you talking about Puu? Does that mean you're talking about Yusuke?"

"No! Focus!"

"It's a little hard to when you were just singing."

"I did that to get your attention. And it worked, didn't it?"

"Did it?"

"…Maybe not."

Hiei again tightened his grip on her hand, and Botan started to complain, but when he suddenly turned his head to one side, his eyes thinning and his top lip curling, she forgot about the pain, and instead glanced back and forth between his growing sneer and the direction he appeared to be looking. They were standing halfway down the mountainside, surrounded by nothing but rice fields, dappled with starlight, but he appeared to be glaring at something very specific.

"When it's Yusuke's birthday, and we all gather in the human world, do you ever wonder why we sleep in two separate houses?" he asked in a strange voice, slowly moving his eyes back to Botan.

"What?" she echoed.

"You go to Keiko's house with Shizuru and Yukina, and I stay with Yusuke, Kurama and Unworthy Kuwabara at Yusuke's mother's apartment. Don't you find that odd, when any other time, we would all just sleep at one house?" Hiei asked.

Botan found the timing of Hiei's question to be incredibly odd, but he had made a good point: Yusuke's birthday was literally the only time the whole group got together but then went to two separate places to sleep.

"It's because after you leave – after all the women leave – Yusuke spikes Kuwabara's orange juice with alcohol, he spikes Kurama's water with fruit of the past life, and, as soon as the two of them are insensible enough, all four of us sneak into your room while you sleep."

"Fuck you, Hiei!"

Botan looked about herself in alarm: Yusuke had sounded so close, but she could not see any trace of him on the hillside.

"Kurama would never normally go along with it, but Yoko will," Hiei continued. "And Kuwabara pretends that he comes along to make sure we don't rummage through Yukina's underwear, but the truth is, he's just as curious as the rest of us."

"Why are you telling me this?" Botan asked.

"Revenge," Hiei replied. "It's only fair they should be humiliated as badly as I have been."

"I don't believe you," Botan said, narrowing her eyes sceptically. "I don't believe any of this."

"You own a pair of black lacey panties. You always take them with you, but you never actually wear them."

Botan narrowed her eyes further.

"Shall I mention Keiko's bra size or are done being lousy bastards?" Hiei roared, again turning his head and directing his question at something Botan could not see.

"Who are you talking to?" Botan asked him.

"Never mind," he said, turning back to her.

"I just don't understand why you felt you needed to make up a story about doing fun things with the boys," she said haughtily. "It feels like you're just trying to compete with all the drinking games I play with the girls on Yusuke's birthday."

The tense, focused look on Hiei's face faltered.

"What-what sort of drinking games?" he asked quietly.

"Like the name game," she replied.

"I thought you meant something interesting."

"Where we name body parts."

"What?"

"On you boys."

"What?"

Botan had literally never seen Hiei look so captivated by something she was saying. The look in his eyes as he stared at her expectantly was almost childlike: it was the same face Yukina wore when she discovered a new human item or tradition.

"I named yours," she added. "But when I think of the three names I used, it feels silly now. Now that I'm sober, and you're standing right in front of me, and I'm looking at the parts of your body I named…"

Hiei gave her a slightly strange look.

"But…" he said slowly. "You're looking me in the eye…"

"Yes, it's so silly," she said with a sigh. "I named them Winky, Blinky and Soul Stealer."

"You named my eyes?"

"Yes. Because you have the Jagan Eye, and it's evil."

"My eyes?"

"Yes. Why, what did you think I meant?"

"You said you named three parts of my body, I just assumed…"

A long, awkward silence passed between Hiei and Botan before Hiei shook his head.

"Never mind," he said quietly.

"Keiko named Yusuke's thighs Crushy and Squeezy, but I think that's because he squishes her face during fellatio."

"Huh?"

Hiei's hold drastically loosened on Botan's hand, to the point that he almost let go entirely.

"I think," Botan added.

"Is that where your obsession with legs comes from?" Hiei asked.

"No, my interest is more to do with sexual intercourse."

Hiei tilted his head in an almost animal fashion.

"Strong thighs are better for thrusting."

Hiei dropped Botan's hand as though it had burned him.

"I can't do this."

Botan frowned.

"What?" she asked.

"I see what it is now," he said quietly. "But… I can't do it."

Hiei took a step back, and, right in front of her eyes, he faded out of existence.

"Hiei?" Botan said tentatively.

She waded through the water, bringing herself to the spot he had been occupying, looking about herself for any trace of where he had disappeared to.

"Hiei!" she yelled.

She turned around on the spot, looking around, up and down, but finding no sign of life. She tried to move forwards, stepping into the place Hiei had backed into: but doing so made the ground fall away beneath her.

Botan sank into the water fast, and, just as it always was underwater there, it was dark. The sound of the water, of bubbles rushing past her and bursting around her filled her ears for a few moments before everything became quiet, her descent slowed to a gradual drift, and everything almost felt peaceful. Botan closed her eyes – just for a moment, just to focus – but when she opened them again, she found that she was no longer alone in the water.

"What the hell are you doing?"

It was Worthy the dog.

"I saw it. I saw what it takes. It can't be me."

Botan turned her head slightly to see Dango the cat.

"Let me help you."

Boring the mouse drifted into her line of sight.

"What is it?" Worthy asked Dango.

Dango shook his head.

"Tell me what it is!" Worthy shouted at him. "Whatever it is, you have to do it! And if not, then someone else has to – but either way, you have to tell me what it is and who can do it if you can't!"

"Oh, I think I know what it is," Boring said.

"Shut up, you," Dango growled at her.

"Sorry," Boring said, cowering away.

Worthy looked back and forth between the cat and the mouse before settling her attention on the mouse.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I think he has to use the actual word. I think he has to say that he–"

The cat, the dog and the mouse dissolved into the water and Botan was momentarily left in silence before she felt hands on her waist, pulling her back up through the water. She did not fight the force, but nor did she look back to see who it was. There was no need. She already knew who it was.

Botan broke the surface of the water and rose up into the air, all the way to the top of the mountainside, before the hands finally lowered her, planting her on her feet, on the firm ground several feet back from the edge of the first row of fields.

"What are you doing, Botan?"

"I don't know."

Botan chewed at her lip. She knew the Lure was standing behind her, but she could not bring herself to face it.

"I always wanted Hiei to sing that song to me," she said.

"And you got your wish," the Lure answered her.

"Yes."

Botan drew in a deep breath and steeled herself, turning on the spot to face the little girl already looking up at her.

"Then why don't I feel happy?" she asked. "I just want to feel happy! I get so close, but I'm never really, truly happy! I haven't been happy since…"

"Since what, Botan?"

"Since that first time. When you made me get a promotion, and my friends told me Hiei had always had a crush on me… But none of that was real. And none of it ever will be again. Not there, not here, not anywhere."

"If you liked that first vision so much, why didn't you go back to it when you came back to me the first time?"

"I don't know! You tell me!"

The Lure thinned its eyes.

"There's something wrong with you," it said.

Botan shook her head.

"It's not me, it's you," she said. "You told me you would give me more venom. You told me it would be perfect."

The Lure smiled.

"I can give you more."

"Then why haven't you already?"

The Lure gave her a slightly strange look before placing both hands on her abdomen and shoving her backwards forcefully. Botan was launched into the air by the blow, flying backwards a short distance before arcing downwards, down the stepped side of the mountain before landing with a splash, back into the water. As she fell, she could feel her arms and legs pulling into her sides, and soon found herself pressed into a rigid position, her body straight and streamlined, seemingly held that way by the water itself. She fell down through the water that way for a long time, through the darkness, before landing with a bounce onto something soft, and suddenly finding she had control of her arms and legs again.

She sat up, frowning as she looked about herself to get her bearings: she was in a room with Shizuru, Yukina and Keiko, who were all still asleep. They were each laid in a separate futon, but only Keiko and Yukina were in their pyjamas, Botan and Shizuru were still fully clothed. Botan was sure she recognised the room, but, just to be sure, she stood up, and quietly moved to the door, sliding it open and poking her head out into the hallway beyond, looking up and down the length of it before satisfying herself that she was, in fact, in Genkai's temple.

Botan slowly slid the door closed, and paused there for a moment, one hand on the door and one on the doorframe, as the sound of a familiar jingle began to play softly behind her. She thought it was odd, as she was sure there were no televisions – or even any electrical points – in the room she was in. She slowly turned her head, looking back over her shoulder, the sight that greeted her appearing both unsettling and underwhelming, as she had expected to see what she did, but not in the way it displayed itself.

She turned around and pressed her back to the door, looking across the room at the opposite wall expectantly.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Confusion continues for Botan, and so does that weird cartoon show. Botan finds herself consistently coming back to the rice fields and ultimately finds herself unable to leave. She is not there alone, and one of the others there has something important to tell her: something that brings with it disastrous consequences for everyone present. **Chapter 23: Captured my Soul**


	23. Captured my Soul

**Last Chapter:** The DWB Show continued, the girls' dinner party was crashed by the boys, Botan is pretty sure Hiei was singing karaoke – but then he took her to the rice fields and told her a random story about games the boys play when they think the girls don't notice. Botan fell underwater and SANK, but found herself landing in a bed and getting up to another round of darkness and oddities.

* * *

**Chapter 23: Captured my Soul**

Botan flattened her hands against the sliding door at her back, keeping her eyes on the wall across from her. There was no apparent source for the projection that was almost filling the wall, which made its slightly flickering appearance all the uncannier, but she had already been partly expecting to see what was displayed there. As slightly crackling music played softly from another invisible source, the wall displayed a familiar logo, and an equally familiar voice announced its significance.

"It's the DWB Show!"

Botan was starting to find the show a little creepy to watch but found herself unable to look away.

"The adventures of Dango the cat, Worthy the dog and Boring the mouse!"

A quick glance around the others told Botan they were all still sound asleep and unaware of what was going on.

"In today's episode, Worthy the dog is sad," the narrator explained, as the long-haired dog appeared on the screen with her head hanging low.

"I feel like I'm losing," she said. "Again. It's the same monster, the only difference is that this time, it has a face."

"We can still win," Boring the mouse said, appearing at her side. "I believe in you, Worthy."

"You and I aren't the ones who need support right now," Worthy said sadly, looking up. "It's him. If he doesn't survive this, we all lose."

"I did offer to help him," Boring said. "He refused my help. You heard him refuse my help."

"Yeah, he probably was right though. You need to conserve your energy. You need to be ready. I'm not sure this thing can't fly."

"That's alright. We can still pursue it if it does."

"It's not that we can't pursue it, it's more that something moving across three dimensions is a lot harder to pin down than something only moving across two dimensions."

Boring nodded.

"Do you really think Dango might die?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know," Worthy said, shaking her head. "He feels so far away right now. Before I could feel his energy, but I can barely feel him at all now."

"Maybe that's just because he's… In there?" Boring said.

Worthy shook her head.

"I don't know what's harder," she said softly. "Feeling his energy slipping away, or when it felt strong. When it was strong, it was that same feeling. That feeling of fighting because I had to. That feeling of trying not to feel anything, even though I was overwhelmed by everything. That feeling of trying to win something I had already lost. He hasn't accepted it's over, but maybe it already is."

"But he's so strong," Boring said. "But then again, there is so much blood."

The projected image flickered, at first so briefly, it was impossible to make out the image that was flashing onto the wall. But then the flickering slowed a little, long enough that the image blinking in and out of visibility became clearer: it was Dango the cat, suspended in the air, white fur stained almost entirely red with blood, and ten black blades pierced right through him, holding him aloft, the projected image almost as big as Botan herself.

"I didn't think I'd ever have to watch this happen again," Worthy said when the screen finally stopped flickering, and focused back onto the dog and the mouse. "And it is worse the second time around. It's worse because I already know how it ends, and I feel even more helpless, and I'm more able to help this time and I should be able to help, but I still just have to watch."

"Is there really nothing else we can do?" Boring asked.

Worthy tilted her head, looking thoughtful for a moment.

"There's one thing I haven't tried yet," she said. "I didn't want to have to do it in front of my brother, but we're running out of options. I think… I think I'm going to have to tell her the truth. I think if I can make a connection – Dango said he needed to make a connection – I can bring her back. I just… Didn't want to ever have to relive this. I've never spoken about it before, to anyone. I just try not to think about it most of the time. But I think reliving it, retelling it, is the price I have to pay to end this."

The projection snapped off, leaving the room in semi-darkness and a still silence. Genkai's temple was usually quite a soothing place to be, but the atmosphere felt tense, almost electric, and Botan wanted to get out. She looked around her friends again, all still sleeping, their peaceful faces and rhythmic breathing seeming like a soothing visual and yet doing little to unnerve her. She carefully and quietly turned around on the spot, sliding open the door again and stepping out into the hallway beyond. She reached her hands behind her back and slid the door closed behind her, before starting down the hall. In her socks, her footsteps were virtually silent against the wooden floors, making it all the easier to keep her exit as stealthy as she wanted it to be.

Before long, she had reached the front door, and, after she slid it open, she was surprised to find that it looked like the middle of the day outside, with the sun high in the sky. The air was warm and smelled of spring blossoms, a gentle breeze bringing with it the green scent of the forest. It was a welcoming air, and she gladly stepped outside into it, moving down the steps and onto the lawn. She turned into the breeze, inhaling deeply and walking through it. It felt easy, it felt soothing, it felt right.

She continued across the lawn and into the trees at the edge of the property, moving through them and up a slope until she reached the other side: the end of the tree cover and the peak of the mountain. The rice fields looked glorious, pools of perfect blue. Where the breeze was rippling the surface of the water, white sparkles of sunlight twinkled over the peaks in the water's surface. She inhaled deeply and sighed: but the feeling had changed.

That smell was back.

Botan sniffed tentatively at the air. It was that pink smell. That smell of the pink stuff Keiko had in pretty bottles in her bedroom. It had a cosmetic purpose, but the exact purpose escaped her in that moment. But it was also a smell that occurred in other places, stemming from other sources. Botan moved to the very edge, lining her toes up to the first cut down to the first row of fields, and dared to inhale deeply again.

Nail polish remover, she thought to herself as she sighed out the air again. It was the scent of nail polish remover.

And something else.

Botan looked about the bright, colourful valley before turning around and slowly moving back towards the trees. Halfway between the fields and the trees she stopped, tilting her head slightly as she tried to remember. Visually, it was almost impossible to tell, but she could feel herself being drawn in the direction she needed to go, and side-stepped a few times before continuing to the start of the trees. She paused again there, before taking a few more steps to the side. Then again, she felt as much as saw, that she was moving in the right direction, as the air became distinctly colder. She took two more steps to the side, each step bringing a pointed drop in temperature and a shift in lighting.

She stopped, on a point where the cold was almost unbearable. She looked up, up the length of the trees in front of her, to the sky above. It was dark, but not fully dark, more as though the sun had just set, or was just about to rise.

The smell was stronger.

Botan inhaled and closed her eyes, and her mind showed her only one thing: corpses. It was the smell of death. It was that strange smell that lingered around humans close to death, the smell of unbalance in the body.

It was coming from the body behind her.

Botan lowered her head, looking into the trees before her. She could leave. She could run back through the trees, back down the other side of the mountain, back to the temple, and back into the room she had woken up in. In the cold, cold place she now found herself, the thought of crawling back into bed was tempting, but she already knew that would not happen. She knew that she would turn around. And she knew what was behind her. She could not see it, but she had already seen it in her mind.

Slowly, she turned on the spot. The sky behind her was semi-dark, and although dulled by the hints of sunlight, the sky was extraordinarily filled with stars. Once she had turned to the point where her back was turned completely to the trees, she saw it. From her vantage point, it was just a ragged shadow, suspended in the air, a short distance from the dip of the mountainside. Botan found herself aware then that she was still just wearing socks, and the ground felt hard beneath her feet, the grass wet, hints of damp seeping through the stitching and reaching her feet. She felt it would be uncomfortable to walk forwards from where she stood, but she did so regardless, moving towards the flying shadow that was drawing her in.

She moved until she reached the edge, lining her toes up with the cutaway edge of the drop down to the first row of fields. The shadow was still out of her reach, about level with the third row down, but it was at the same height as Botan herself, hanging in the air, motionless. Botan looked down, seeing her own face reflected back up at her in the water. She shuffled forwards, curling her toes over the edge, gripping into the turf to steady herself, before looking up again, towards the shadow. As she watched it, one of her questions was answered: apparently it was dawn and not dusk, as the sky was oh-so-gradually lightening. As the stars faded out of existence and the sun crept up towards the top of the mountains, light began to spill into the valley of rice fields. When the golden sunlight hit the top of the shadow, it still appeared black. The light slowly spread downwards, revealing that most of the figure was black anyway.

Hiei always had preferred dressing in black.

His eyes were open, but his pupils large and unfocused, his head tilted downwards. His black clothing made it hard to see, but he was covered in blood. It was dripping from him, slowly, gradually, from the toes of his boots, which were the lowest point of his body. He was suspended by an invisible force, his shoulders at a slightly awkward angle, but otherwise his entire form was limp.

He looked like he was dead.

"Hiei?" she said quietly.

The sunlight edged up a little further, and she could see there were two distinct lines of blood, glistening and fresh, down either side of his nose.

"Hiei?" she said again. "Hiei, are you okay? Can you hear me? Hiei?"

"Botan?"

Botan clutched her hands to her chest and let out a whimpering gasp at the sound of his voice – husky, faint, raw – saying her name.

"Hiei, you're hurt!" she said.

"Don't-don't think about that," he said, his mouth barely moving as he spoke.

His eyes moved a little, just enough to look directly at her, his pupils regaining a little bit of light as they focused onto her eyes.

"I need you to listen," he said. "Carefully."

"I'm listening," she replied.

Botan held her breath as a hand appeared on Hiei's left shoulder, and, before her very eyes, a person that hand belonged to phased into existence, apparently sitting in mid-air at Hiei's side.

"Shizuru?" Botan whispered.

"Botan sweetie, can you hear me?" Shizuru asked.

Botan nodded. Shizuru looked sad and worried. She stared at Botan for a long moment before turning her head to Hiei.

"Can she hear me?" she asked him.

"Yes," he answered.

"I can hear you, Shizuru!" Botan quickly added.

Shizuru moved her eyes back to Botan and smiled, letting out a small, breathy laugh: but her eyes were filled with a sadness that was difficult to behold.

"Sweetie, I have to tell you something," she said. "And it's really hard for me to tell you this. It's something I've never told anyone. I never wanted to tell anyone. But I need to tell you. Now. Before it's too late."

"Too late?" Botan repeated.

Shizuru nodded, and her eyes thinned a little, blurring slightly as though she was desperately holding back tears.

"I've lied to you," she said sadly. "I've lied to everyone. Well, I don't know if it's exactly a lie, it's more like everybody made an assumption, and I never told them they were wrong."

She gulped audibly, her throat visibly moving with the strain of the action.

"Everyone thinks that Kazuma and I inherited our spiritual awareness from our dad," she continued. "Because our dad is pretty aware. He's certainly more aware than the average human. And spiritual awareness is an inherited trait. But our dad wasn't the one who made us strong. If anything, he was the one who made us weak. Because my dad, my brother, me… You put us all together, and it would still be nothing compared to the gift my mom had."

Botan's face fell. She had never heard Shizuru talk about her mother before. She had never asked, partly because there were no photos of her mother in the house, and no member of the Kuwabara family had ever volunteered any information on her. Literally the only thing Botan did know was that the siblings, Shizuru and Kazuma, both had the same mother.

"My mom was so gifted," Shizuru said. "She drew spirits of all kinds to her. And, just like most other people who have that sort of gift, she sought out others who shared her gift. That's how she met my dad. In college, they both joined a group of people who all thought they were psychics. My mom and dad were the only two in the group who could actually see spirits and demons, and that was what brought them together. My mom was never scared of her gift. At least, not until she had me. She said she never thought about it until I woke her up one night crying, and she found a demon in my room. She started to panic. And it got worse after she had my brother. My dad sent her to counselling, but it didn't help, because nobody believed her or understood what she was seeing. So my dad treated her the only other way he knew how: he introduced her to pot."

Shizuru paused, turning her head away from Hiei and appearing to look at something for a moment as she swiped her free hand at the corner of one eye.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this," she whispered, before turning back to Botan. "They did it together. And when my mom got high, she felt calm. And my dad thought that was the end of all their problems. The truth was, that was just the beginning. Over the years, gradually, really, really gradually, my mom would get more mellow than my dad, and she would be affected a lot longer than he was. It built up so gradually, that he didn't notice it. The first sign he got that something was wrong was when he noticed she couldn't straighten one of her legs one day. She wore stockings most of the time, so the veins in the back of her knees were an ideal place to inject heroin unnoticed. The pot had helped her, but it was never strong enough, she said. She'd gone out looking for something stronger, and she found it. The crazy thing is, that first night my dad found out, he agreed she could continue doing it. She convinced him she had it under control, that it gave her peace, it let her be a "normal" mother to her children. He loved her so much and he was so laid back, he just went with what she said."

Shizuru looked down for a moment, her long hair falling over her face. She snivelled a little, her hand on Hiei's shoulder gripping into him a little before she lifted her head again, a smile so sad on her face that Botan found so hard to look at, she felt herself start to tear up.

"Then she started spacing out," Shizuru continued. "For long, long periods of time. I would come home from school, and she would be lying on the couch, all her equipment on the floor around her. Most of the time she'd vomited on herself. I would tell Kazuma to go find the cat and bring it in, and I used the time to clean her up, hide her stuff, throw a blanket over her. I never let my brother see it. He wouldn't have understood. And it was around this time my dad started to switch off too. He didn't want to admit how bad it was getting. He didn't want to tell her no, to tell her to stop, but at the same time, he didn't want to see her the way I almost always found her. So I had to start hiding it from my dad too. I would come home, clean her up, cover her up, hide her stuff, send Kazuma to feed the cat and do his homework, and I would do the housework before my dad came home from work. That was about the time I started to fall behind with my own homework and my own school work. Pretty soon, I could tell in the morning what sort of day it would be. I would know if I could go to school for the whole day, or if I would need to sneak out early, or if I would need to just walk Kazuma to school and turn around and go home.

"I was ten years old – which is crazy when I think about it – when it happened. The day started out pretty bad. My dad didn't say anything. I made breakfast for him and for my brother and myself, I made a lunch for my dad and my brother, I saw my dad into his car and I walked my brother to school. I went straight back home. And when I got home, my mom was passed out on the couch. I was expecting that. What I wasn't expecting, was that she'd stopped breathing."

Botan touched a hand to her mouth as a tear slid from one of Shizuru's eyes and she drew in a shuddering breath.

"I was ten years old," she said. "I was just a kid. I tried to revive her. I tried so hard. I called for an ambulance, and they had to call our neighbours in to help get me off, because I never stopped trying. But it didn't work. She was gone. My dad came home from work. The only thing he said to me was that he wanted to tell Kazuma. He didn't want me to do it. And he did. He told Kazuma that mom's heart stopped beating. That was all he said. That was all he needed to say to a kid. And, that was probably the last thing my dad said for months. He stopped functioning. He would stay in bed all day. I took over getting my brother ready for school, looking after the house, shopping for groceries. I missed most of school, and, over the next few years, I failed my way out of school altogether. I always wanted to be a mechanic. I was gonna work on motorbikes. But I didn't have the education or the time for it any more. I had to take any work I could get, because my dad couldn't hold down a job for the next several years. I never spoke about it, because my dad couldn't handle it, and my brother didn't understand it. And I wanted to protect them from the pain I felt.

"Now you probably think you know why I'm telling you this, but you're wrong. Nobody else here is saying anything, but I know what they're thinking. And what they're thinking is the reason why I've never told anyone any of this before: they think I'm mad at my mom. They think I hate her. They think I resent her. I lost my childhood, right? I lost my dream. I was forced to become a wife to my father and a mother to my brother. I was forced to become an adult overnight. I must hate her, right? Because she chose to do heroin. Nobody else made her do it. It was totally her own decision. She researched it, went out and found it, and abused it to the point that she lost herself and then we lost her. But that's the thing, Botan. I'm not mad. It doesn't matter that she was an addict: she was my mom, and I love her. And Botan, sweetie, I would give anything to bring her back. I don't care what I went through, or what I lost. I just want my mom back.

"I pretend that I'm okay with it, but really, it was tough growing up with two men. I didn't have a mom to talk to about all my problems. And that's why I value so highly the relationships I have with the girls in my life. When you were talking about us, when you said we're like sisters, that meant so much to me, sweetie. Because I feel that way too. You, Keiko and Yukina are so important to me. We are a complete unit, the four of us, and if even one of us falls, the whole dynamic changes. We all need each other. We all need you, Botan. And we're not mad at you. We love you. And we just want you back. Please, Botan, I lost my mom to addiction, please don't make me lose you the same way. Please just come back to us. Nobody's mad at you, nobody blames you. We all love you and we all just want you back, with us, being your usual, zany, voyeuristic, random, feisty, cheerful self."

Shizuru swiped her free hand at both sides of her face to clear tears she was freely shedding.

"I love you too, Shizuru!" Botan wailed.

Shizuru smiled – but again, it was that sad, almost painful smile.

"Botan, sweetheart, can you see me?" she asked.

"Yes," Botan said, nodding her head enthusiastically. "I can see you!"

Shizuru held out her free hand, palm upturned.

"Can you see my hand?" she asked.

"Yes!" Botan said.

"Then take it," Shizuru said. "Take my hand, and come home with me."

Botan nodded and reached out her hand towards Shizuru's. They were still too far apart, but, stretching her arm out, their hands seemed to be moving closer together. It was slow, but an unseen force seemed to be drawing them together. The sun was rising higher and the valley was starting to glow, the fields were turning blue as the sky lightened overhead, and Botan could feel the warmth of the sun.

There was something in the water.

Botan's eyes were still on Shizuru, but, in the watery field between them, she could see not only the reflection of their hands, moving ever closer together, but also the reflection of something else. Something long, black, glistening, that came to a tapered point.

Botan looked down.

And then she immediately looked up: it was right above her head.

She was looking up at the underside of it. It was triangular, just like it always had been. A hollow triangular shape. Like a long, straight talon. But the sharp blades the two sides of the hollow triangle formed were not smooth, they were jagged, like little teeth that curled backwards.

The black blade was deigned to stab in, to glide in, but then cause massive damage on the way back out, as those little serrated hooks tore through skin and flesh.

"No," Botan said faintly, shaking her head.

"It's okay sweetie, don't look at it," Shizuru said. "Just take my hand. Just come with me. It can't hurt you, I promise you are safe. Please just take my hand."

Botan's hand began to shake, but she focused her attention back onto it, stretching out her fingers. She saw a shadow forming over Shizuru's upturned palm and dared to smile, dared to believe that she was almost close enough to grab on.

But then the tip of black blade, the pointed, thin, tip, touched the base of Shizuru's palm, just above her wrist.

"Come on, Botan!" Shizuru urged. "Just a little further!"

"No," Botan gasped as the tip of the blade pierced, slowly, slowly, into Shizuru's skin.

Shizuru did not so much as flinch when she first began to bleed. The tip of the blade was so thin, so small, barely more than a needle: but it quickly widened, and those serrated teeth quickly grew. And, as the blade slowly, slowly pushed under her skin and began to push up her wrist and forearm, she broke.

Shizuru cried out and gripped her hand into Hiei's shoulder.

"Let go, you idiot!" he shouted at her.

She cried out a ragged "no", but her face was contorted in agony and the blade was starting to tear open her wrist and forearm as the tip passed the bend in her elbow and moved into her upper arm.

"Stay back!" Hiei yelled over his shoulder.

Shizuru let out a cry that made something inside of Botan snap. She screamed out herself and leapt up, grabbing the black blade in both hands. Hiei began shouting at her frantically, telling her to stop, but she could barely make out his words. She tightened her grip around the blade, the two sharp, serrated edges biting into her palms, blood freely spilling down over her wrists. With one hand positioned slightly in front of the other, she let out another ferocious cry of desperation, releasing every ounce of spirit energy in her body into her hands. Her hands flared white and she began twisting one hand down and the other up. The blade creaked in her hands. She paused only for a moment, when she felt a dull pressurising pain in one finger, but it passed quickly, adrenaline and desperation overriding any other sense, and, with one more cry, she twisted her hands forcefully, snapping the blade into two.

The base of the blade retracted out of Botan's left hand with a horrifying shriek, and the end she had broken off fell out of her grip. The sun vanished, the sky turned dark and Hiei and Shizuru dissolved out of existence. Botan took a step forwards, stumbling into the water, slipping in, finding herself submerged to her waist. She looked all around herself for any sign of Hiei or Shizuru, only looking down once she was sure she was alone.

Her hands were so covered in blood it almost looked like she had lost a finger.

Botan looked up again, looking at what she was sure was the point where Shizuru had been sitting in the air. She waited for a moment before screaming out a desperate cry of "no". Although she could no longer see her friend, she could still almost feel that she was in pain, that blade still embedded in her arm.

Botan looked about herself, but her mind was focused on just one thing: there was only one thing left for her to do.

She bent her legs, submerging herself up to her chin, before launching herself up and flipping over so that she could dive under.

This time she rocketed down into the dark, dark depths of the water: and this time, she actively swam towards it.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Botan finds herself in a new world, one that is dark and warped and unpleasant. She appears to have been maimed, and the pain of her injury is her only comfort in the place she finds herself. After catching up with the latest episode of that odd cartoon, Botan bumps into Hiei: but what starts as a pleasant encounter becomes strange and strained, and, finally, Botan finds herself somewhere truly terrible, somewhere she had only ever heard about in Spirit World legend. **Chapter 24: You Need to Wake up**


	24. You Need to Wake up

**Last Chapter:** Botan was at a sleepover at Genkai's, but felt herself compelled to go out to the rice fields, where she found a broken Hiei and Shizuru appeared. Shizuru told Botan about how she had lost her mother to addiction, but that she didn't blame her mother, and likewise didn't blame Botan for where she is now. Shizuru tried to reach out to Botan, but was attacked. Botan tried to save Shizuru, but lost sight of her and Hiei, and decided it was time to DIVE UNDER.

* * *

**Chapter 24: You Need to Wake up**

Botan was close to the bottom. She could not see it, but she believed it, and that was determination enough to keep her swimming down, down. She was focused, intent, her conviction unwavering.

"You know, if looks could kill…"

Botan stopped instantly at the sound of a voice, talking so clearly. She looked about herself but could see nothing but darkness.

"I'm still pissed at you," Worthy the dog said tensely as she gradually came into sight in front of Botan.

"It was an honest mistake, I promise you."

There was a fox beside her, talking to her.

"I didn't think you made mistakes," she said sternly.

"Likewise," he answered her.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she snarled.

"I think it would be wise for you to accept help right now," the fox calmly answered her.

"Wise, huh?" she said. "Like it was wise for you to give more drugs to someone already under the influence?"

"I do still believe it was for the best."

"You're an arrogant son of a bitch. Just admit you were wrong, asshole."

"Worthy?"

Boring appeared at Worthy's other side. Worthy gave her a wary look.

"Let me help you," Boring said gently. "Please?"

"Absolutely no way, Boring," Worthy said. "You need to be at one hundred percent."

"As do you," Boring said.

"No," Worthy said. "I can still fight. I lost an arm, but I gained a weapon."

A length of black blade appeared in the air between Worthy and Boring.

"I still have my dominant hand," Worthy added.

"You aren't seriously going to use that as a weapon?" Boring asked.

"Why not?" Worthy replied. "It hurts like a bastard. I'm gonna stab this thing into one of its eyes."

"I don't think you should even be touching it."

The blade lowered out of sight and Worthy looked at Botan – but not directly at her, not into her eyes, rather in the direction of her throat.

"It hurts like a bastard," she said again. "I don't know how he does it."

Botan realised then that she had stopped moving. Altogether. Not only had she stopped trying to swim down, but she had also stopped sinking.

"I think it's like he said," Boring said. "It isn't neat. It's messy. And it's much bigger than the size of the word that describes it."

Worthy made an amused grunt.

"Yeah, I think you're right, Ayame," she said. "And that's part of the problem. I think they only way Botan's coming out of there this time is when Hiei gets his shit together and actually says the word."

"He doesn't like the word," Boring said.

"I noticed," Worthy replied.

"Demons are much more complicated than I ever thought they were."

Worthy nodded.

"I don't know how Botan does it. Dealing with spirits, humans and demons…" Boring said.

"I think she does it by not differentiating based on which category the soul in question falls into," Worthy replied.

"Gees, Shizuru, you're starting to sound like Kurama!"

"Don't do that. I'm still mad at him."

Boring nodded.

"Yes, me too," she agreed.

Botan reached a hand out towards the images of the dog and mouse in front of her, but her hand passed right though them, blurring them into the water itself. Something about them was giving her an uneasy feeling. She felt as though something really bad was about to happen, and if she just watched the cartoon, she was somehow allowing it to happen.

Botan no longer wanted to be at the bottom.

She began thrashing around in the water, the thought occurring to her that she was not even breathing down there, panic striking when she realised she was in complete darkness. She could not even see her own hands in front of her face. A myriad of thoughts raced through her mind, including the idea that she may have gone blind, before she felt that maybe there was something above her head: and so, without any further hesitation, she began swimming upwards towards it.

She tried to breathe, but drew in water, and her limbs felt weak and useless as she swam, her mind screaming at them to work harder, to get her to the surface faster. She thought she could see a white circle of light above her, and it was growing and brightening the more she moved, and her desire to reach it became frantic. It seemed to take a lot longer to go back up than it had to swim down. The weight of the water was pushing down on her and it felt mocking, as though it was trying to show her it would be easier to let go, to sink back down to the bottom. She was not even sure why she was still fighting it, but something felt wrong, and she had always acted in her instincts in the past.

Eventually, after some time of fighting, the white light took shape, and she realised it was the moon, on the other side of the water. It was becoming clearer and the bubbles around her were becoming higher in pitch, so she knew she was close. The last part of her journey felt the most oppressive, the water felt the most resistant, eventually forcing her to start throwing her arms up and grabbing at what she hoped was the row of grass at the water's edge. Her hands slapped against rocks and mud a few times before her left hand finally found purchase in the turf. She gripped her hand into a fist and hauled herself up, slapping her right hand onto the grass as her head finally broke the surface. She gasped in the air and clung on with both hands, hauling herself out to her waist before slipping back down a little.

Something was wrong.

Botan grunted in confusion, gripping at the bank of grass and pulling herself up. She only moved a short way before pausing, looking down at her arms. Something felt odd in her right forearm when she gripped the bank. Like something was not connecting properly. She relaxed her grip a little and then gripped again, a sickening realisation dawning on her as she felt her fingers pressing into the soggy earth. She tightened her grip with her left hand and then opened out her right hand, straightening out her fingers and looking down at them.

Most of the ring finger on her right hand was gone.

She frowned, curling and uncurling her fingers on her right hand experimentally. It looked as though her finger had been torn off, quite crudely, from the second knuckle.

She used her good hand to haul herself up again, raising the top half of her body out of the water and bending at the waist to anchor herself there. She paused long enough to steady her breathing before moving her arms out ahead of herself and grabbing at the grass with her good hand, kicking her legs up until her knees reached the edge and she could crawl free of the water. Once she was free of the water, she scrambled to her feet, holding out her hands in front of herself and looking down at them. Looking at the backs of her hands, other than the fact that most of one of her fingers was missing, they looked normal. She slowly turned them over, palms facing upwards, revealing two ragged cuts across each of her palms. The cuts – and presumably the wound to her finger – had been caused when she had grabbed that blade.

Botan slowly looked up, looking about herself apprehensively. It was night time, the sky was black, though still filled with stars, which lent a bit of light to the land below, which made her visibility reasonable enough that she could see there was nothing over her head: but she could feel something was there.

She looked down at her hands again. The cuts across her palms were clotting, but the stub of finger she had remaining was still weeping blood. She slowly curled her fingers around until they covered the cuts on her palms, and then she turned her hands over, looking down at the backs of her closed fists. From that angle, her hands appeared to be uninjured: but the deep, dull aching in her finger and the stinging on her palms told her the injuries were very real.

"Unreal," she said quietly.

She opened out her hands and turned them over, exposing all of her wounds to her view.

"Real," she said.

She closed her fists and turned them over again, concealing all of her wounds from her view.

"Unreal."

Botan looked about herself before starting towards the trees. She moved briskly but cautiously, the distinct feeling that there was still something hovering in the air above her lingering no matter how far she went. Moving down the slope and through the trees, she could not even feel the ground beneath her feet, despite walking in just socks over rough undergrowth: but she was keenly aware of the sting of her lacerations and the deep, dull pain in her dismembered finger.

At the end of the tree cover, at the edge of the lawns around Genkai's temple, Botan stopped as she noticed a large bird poised on the temple roof. It was a silhouette, only its outline definable, but she felt as though it was there to stop her going any further. She waited for a moment, watching it carefully for any sign of hostility. It did not move, but the feeling of malevolence emanating from it was undeniable. The idea grew stronger in her mind that she ought to turn around and go back, but she also had a burning desire to find out what the bird was protecting. She needed to go inside the temple. She needed to see if her friends were still where she had left them, sleeping so peacefully.

Botan started forwards, keeping her eyes on the bird as she moved. As she drew closer, other than the bird appearing larger due to perspective, it remained unchanged. As she stepped onto the paved approach to the temple front entrance, she began to feel that the bird was very unhappy with her coming so close, but it remained still, and so she continued on, up the steps, and through the front door.

Inside the temple was black. It was dark, but it was also black. The walls were black, the individual wood panels still clearly definable, but no longer warm shades of brown, rather they were black. The roof was black, the floor was black, and all the doors were black. Botan could hear her footsteps as she moved – slightly soggy, muted thumps – and she could feel her heartbeat in her chest. The cuts in her hands were still stinging a little, but it was nothing compared to the dull ache where she had lost a finger. The pain was making her feel a little nauseous, but she pushed it down, and pushed on, moving through the temple to the room she had woken up in.

As she turned a corner and the door she sought came into sight, Botan became aware that she was being watched. The feeling started as a mild idea, but grew in intensity rapidly, until she felt more as though she was being stared at, aggressively, rather than watched.

Botan slid open the door and found the room empty. Even the beds were gone, the entire room just a hollow black space. She curled her fingers into the doorframe, wincing as the pain of her amputated finger throbbed. It was close.

She slowly slid the door closed and turned around to leave.

But that was where it was.

Botan turned around and quickly moved further into the temple. She twice quickened her pace, but her efforts made no difference, as she knew it was keeping pace with her, regardless of what she did. Her heart began to beat faster, until it was pounding louder and more rapidly than the thump of her footsteps against the floor. In her increasing panic, she unintentionally brought herself to a dead end, which forced her to turn around and face it.

In the dark, all she could see was two eyes and teeth. The eyes were round and bulging, pupils small and piercing, the eyes possibly without eyelids due to their shape and the way they never seemed to blink. The teeth were jagged and curved, off-white and every one on both the top and bottom rows visible, the mouth they were set in wide and slightly triangular. Although she could not see the mouth the teeth were set in, the shape of the gumline made it look as though the mouth was shaped like the beak of a bird of prey.

Botan carefully took a step forwards, towards it. It seemed to remain the same distance away from her. She took two steps together before pausing again, but still it seemed to remain the same distance away. Just as it had followed her when she had moved away from it, it seemed to be following her movements still, maintaining the same distance regardless of which direction she moved in. Despite not wanting to get any closer to it, despite every instinct within her urging her to turn her back to it, she kept facing it and kept moving towards it, until she reached another branch in the hallway, and could then turn away.

She ran, all the way out the back door of the temple. It was still behind her, still the same distance away, still watching her, intensely, unblinkingly. She did not need to look at it to confirm that, she could feel it burning into her. She could also feel that it wanted her to move a certain way, but she was intent on going the way it wanted her to go regardless. She ran back, across the lawn, through the trees, up the slope to the top of the mountain and out of the trees again, only stopping when she saw what she had already expected to find there, by the start of the valley of rice fields.

She waited for a moment, trying to steady her breathing. It was still the middle of the night, the landscape still dark. She looked down at her hands, and, even though they were shaking terribly, she turned them upwards, looking down at her wounded palms and the remains of her maimed finger.

"Real," she said quietly to herself.

She closed her fists and turned her hands over, hiding all traces of her wounds from her eyes.

"Unreal."

She drew in a shuddering breath and walked forwards, still aware that it was behind her, watching her, following her, urging her towards the edge. She looked down as she walked, moving until her toes were lined up with the edge of the grass, touching the drop down to the first rice field. Once she was sure she was as close to the edge as she could safely be, she lifted her head, surprised to find that Hiei was closer to her than she had expected him to be. He was hanging in the air, already looking at her, held up by an invisible force.

"Hiei?" she said.

"I'm here," he replied.

He sounded tired. He looked tired. He looked and sounded much the same way he did after releasing the Dragon of the Darkness Flame. His hair was a little flatter than usual and looked dull and matted. She slowly reached out a hand, touching his hair just above his forehead. His eyebrows inverted and his jaw tensed, and as she moved her hand backwards a little, her skin began to stain with blood.

"Does it hurt?" she asked quietly.

"Hn," he scoffed, smiling that smile he wore when an opponent was goading him.

"Does it hurt, Hiei?" she asked again. "It-it must hurt."

"There's nothing I can do about it," he replied.

"Does it hurt?" she tried again.

"I can't defend myself, of course it hurts."

Botan bit her lip.

"Then-then why are you doing it?" she asked.

"Idiot," he said through a bitter laugh. "You shouldn't even need to ask that question."

She smiled, sliding her fingertips down one side of his face. She had intentionally used her left hand to touch him, keeping her right hand balled into a fist, her missing finger hidden from her sight.

"I know what you want," he said.

"Really?" she asked. "Because I don't think I know what I want."

"You do know," he replied. "And so do I. But it's not that simple. I need you to know that."

Botan stuttered out a dry sob.

"I don't know anything any more," she said.

"You want me to say it," he said. "But I can't. Because it's not enough."

"Not enough?" she repeated.

"No," he confirmed. "How can it be? I hear it being said and I see how it's used. And it's not enough. It never was, but it definitely isn't now. And never will be again."

"I'm so confused."

"I won't say it, because it feels cheap. It's not enough. But I understand now that you need to know it. So just listen to me now."

Botan shivered. It was moving closer. She could feel the heat of its breath on the back of her neck, hear the rattling sound it was making, almost like a whispered growl.

"I don't think those words say enough for how it is," Hiei said. "But you need to know that I do love you."

Botan get out a shuddering gasp, reaching her outstretched hand up a little until she was touching the side of his face. He looked at her for a long moment before touching his hand to hers and leaning towards her. With her sock-covered feet, she curled her toes over the edge of the bank to steady herself so that she could lean towards Hiei, closing the gap between them, bringing her lips to his.

Kissing him felt completely different to how she had imagined it in the past. His lips were warm and soft, but he put a keen amount of pressure into them. The reassurance of the physical connection momentarily made it seem like nothing else mattered. He was surprisingly gentle and restrained – though Botan could not be sure why that surprised her, only that it was not how she had imagined he might proceed the first time they did engage her in a kiss. It was a relatively short gesture, barely a few seconds long, and only the pressing of their lips together, but she felt there was a sense of desperation on Hiei's part, and when they drew back she was almost sure she could see a look of frustration on his face. His mouth twitched a little and, for a moment, she was sure he would move in for a second kiss: but his eyes drifted up, to a point above her head, and his expression hardened. Botan copied his action, looking up to see those jagged teeth, in that triangular mouth, hanging over her head.

"I'm scared, Hiei!" she wailed. "I don't know what to do!"

Hiei lowered his eyes, looking into hers with a renewed look of determination.

"You need to wake up," he said.

"I don't understand what you mean!" she wailed.

"Please Botan, just wake up."

Botan gasped and spluttered and slipped at the edge of the water. She expected to fall, to sink into the dark depths again, but Hiei grabbed her hand by his face, holding on tightly.

"You need to wake up," he said again.

Botan was hanging by her arm, Hiei's grip of her hand to only thing holding her up. She had sunk into the water up to her thighs. She looked up at him, his eyes barely visible in the dark, but she could see enough to see the odd sadness in them, a sadness that stood stark against the hateful, evil glare from the bulging eyes hovering over him.

"Just wake up," he said, his tone sounding broken, defeated.

"I want to–"

Botan's voice broke off as her hand slipped out of Hiei's and she fell.

She plunged under the water, sinking down, down into the darkness. She sank slowly, she sank quickly. Her senses slowly faded, until she could not see or hear anything, only feel the sensation of herself falling, quickly, slowly, quickly, slowly.

Suddenly.

Botan cried out as she clattered against unforgiving stone, her elbow and hip on her right side having taken the brunt of her fall. She groaned, but the noise was difficult to make, her mouth so dry her tongue felt as though it was stuck to the roof of her mouth. She put her right hand on the ground and pushed herself up onto her right hip, blinking blearily at the fuzzy white and grey images before her. She touched her left hand to her forehead, mostly because her head was aching, but the sensation of ragged cloth against her skin made her retract her hand, moving it down into her line of sight.

Her left hand was bound up in bandages.

The middle of her left forearm was bound up in bandaging.

Her arm was otherwise bare.

Botan blinked a few more times, before looking down at her legs, curled up at her side. There were bandages around both her thighs. She was dressed in shorts and a vest. Her right arm also had bandaging around the forearm. She rolled onto her backside, lifting her right hand from the floor to hold it alongside her left, finding that it too was bandaged around the palm.

Her right hand was also bandaged over a space where one of her fingers ought to be.

Botan felt her heart start to beat faster, harder, louder in her chest. Her breathing hitched, despite the discomfort it caused her to breathe so deeply when her throat was so dry. She began picking at the bandaging around her right hand, frantically trying to remove it: but she stopped short at the sound of a familiar voice admonishing her.

"Leave it. You take that off again, you'll only cause yourself more pain."

Botan lifted her eyes to look directly forward. She was sitting on the floor of a small room with a stone floor and stone walls. To her right was the small, plain, basic bed she had just fallen out of. And to her left, was an open space.

Botan slowly turned her head to her left.

"No," she said faintly, shaking her head. "Oh please, no."

"I'm delighted to see you again too."

The enormous guard looked less disproportionate standing over the entrance of a prison cell he would usually have been guarding.

"Am I…" Botan said weakly. "In prison?"

"Turns out fourth time's the charm," the guard answered her. "Not even Prince Koenma could convince King Enma not to lock you up here where you belong."

Botan's jaw fell. For a horrified moment she was frozen on the spot. But, as she noticed a bulky man who almost looked entirely human pacing about in the cell opposite her own, she broke. She scrambled to her feet and stumbled up to the seemingly open space where her cell ought to have a fourth wall.

"No," she said. "This can't be!"

She reached out her left hand towards the open space, the buzzing sound and the feeling of the small hairs at the base of her scalp prickling warning her that she was getting too close to the barrier that was containing her.

"But… I haven't done anything wrong…" she said.

"Except going to a Lure four times," the guard answered her.

Botan shook her head.

"I'm the laughing stock of this unit, thanks to you," he continued. "After your little stunt picking your way out through the extractor fan in your shower, everybody else down here thinks I can't even handle a pathetic little ferry girl."

"That's not true," Botan said.

"That's right it's not," the guard said. "They should have locked you up here the first time you went near that thing. What sort of ferry girl goes to a Lure in the first place, huh? What can a Lure even do to you? What sort of dreams have you got that a Lure can even work with?"

Botan clenched her fists, but the action did not bring the sense of satisfaction she had been hoping for as the bandaging around her palms was so thick. But feeling that bandaging reminded her of its presence, and she went back to unravelling it, ignoring the insults of the guard outside her cell. She did not stop until she had removed all the dressings from both of her hands, then forming them into fists, looking down at the backs of her hands.

"Unreal," she said to herself.

She then opened out her hands and turned them over, her palms facing upwards, revealing two red welts across her palms that looked like the scars of healing cuts, and the ring finger of her right hand was missing from the second knuckle upwards, the stub she was left with smoothed over but still purple in places where the skin had clearly been patched over the wound.

"Real," she said.

She looked up at the open space, but the guard had gone. She looked down at her hands again, closing her fists and turning them over.

"Unreal," she said.

She opened out her hands and turned them over, the sight of her scarred palms, the growing sensation of a lingering dull pain in her maimed finger proving to be oddly reassuring.

"Real."

She moved her eyes to the bandages on her forearms and thighs. She just had to remove those, to expose the wounds she had there to make everything real.

"Botan, you're awake."

Botan turned her head, looking out of her cell as Koenma walked into her line of sight, looking alarmingly out of place in his small toddler form, walking amongst the gigantic ogre guards.

"You've been out for a while," he told her. "It's good to see you finally up."

"This isn't real," she told him.

He frowned slightly.

"No, Botan, this is real," he said. "You've been under the thrall of the Lure, but you're back with us now, back in the real world."

Botan shook her head.

"No," she said. "This isn't real. It can't be."

Koenma looked up at her guard, who simply looked back at him plainly.

"I can barely feel anything," Botan said. "That's the difference between reality and a dream, right? If I can't feel anything, then this isn't real."

"This is real Botan," Koenma quickly corrected her. "Maybe you just don't feel much because we've had to treat your wounds."

Botan looked down at the scars on her palms. They were real. She then moved both her hands towards the barrier, pushing through the point where she could hear the buzzing of energy and feel the static of the forcefield, before grabbing her hands into fists, light illuminating around them as she closed her hands around a line of a barrier net.

"Botan, what are you doing?" Koenma yelped.

"I can feel this," she plainly answered him. "It hurts. This is real."

"I already told you this is real!" Koenma wailed. "Let go! Before you really hurt yourself!"

"It doesn't feel like it can really hurt me," Botan flatly replied. "It hurts just enough that I know it's real."

Botan held on, the sensation of pain sublime, feeling overwhelmed by physical pain finally giving her a sense of relief.

"You know what this means, right?" the guard said to Koenma.

Koenma shook his head, but the horrified look on his face seemed to suggest he did know what the guard was talking about and he was shaking his head more because he did not want it to be true.

"It's what you should have done the first time it happened," the guard frankly told him.

He then turned and eyed Botan over.

"Or maybe even before that."

Botan sighed as the pain in her hands reached a plateau where her hands were the only part of her body she was aware of. The guard began to walk away and Koenma ran after him, pleading with him frantically: but his words were just a blur of noise to Botan's ears as she closed her eyes and let the darkness take over.

* * *

**Next Chapter**: Botan wakes up in a new place, and it's actually worse than waking up in the Spirit World prison. The only consistent thing in this new place is regular – if short – visits from Ayame, who at first appears as diligent and duty-bound as always, but shortly appears to be up to something nefarious, something that plateaus when, on one particular visit, she brings, amongst other things: a demon, a stowaway, a pen and a whole lot of pyramid-shaped items. **Chapter 25: My World is Gone**


	25. My World is Gone

**Last Chapter: **Botan was sinking under water, but fought her way back out after seeing (yet another) vision of some cartoon animals. After she got out of the water, she discovered she had been left with injuries after trying to stop the black blade that had been attacking Shizuru. She went back to the temple but found it dark and empty, and came to the realisation that a monster was watching over her. She fled back to the rice fields, where she found Hiei, and, after a heartfelt plea and a kiss, he told her to wake up. She fell under the water again, but this time hit solid ground: in the form of waking up in a Spirit World prison cell, where her odd behaviour did not impress the guards.

* * *

**Chapter 25: My World is Gone**

This, Botan told herself, was death. Souls she had collected had spoken about death – the moment of death, the moment between their mortal lives ending in the physical realm and their immortal afterlives commencing in Spirit World – and this was exactly what they had all, consistently, described to her. It was an unending darkness, a soft silence, and a vague sense of floating. It was the loss of all senses, literally only her own conscious thoughts still present: though even that was weak. It felt peaceful, but there was a sense that it was temporary, a sense that it would end and something significant would follow. It was the eye of the storm. She could not remember the past, could not think of the future, and could barely even remember herself. Maybe she was being prepared for a rebirth.

The floating feeling was replaced suddenly with the stomach-flipping sensation of dropping downwards that ended as quickly as it started with a jolting pain in her right wrist and ankle, a pain that did not subside. She groaned – and the sound reached her ears, the first sound she had heard in a long time – and her left arm swung loosely at her side, her knuckles hitting against a soft, cushioned surface as they fell down as far as she could reach on that side.

Botan opened her eyes. She was hanging off the edge of a bed in a strange room. She tried to right herself, but the pain in her right wrist and ankle bit into her skin. She turned her head and gasped when she saw the reason why: she had been shackled to the bed she was lying in. She began to thrash and panic, eventually managing to pull herself up onto the bed properly. Her restraints would not allow her to sit up to assess her surroundings, but, laid on her back, she could move her head enough to see all that she needed to: she was in a small, white room, with cushioned walls, floors and ceiling, with just the bed she was lying on and a small metal toilet.

"Help," she said faintly.

She took a few shuddering breaths and then, with all she had, she shouted for help. She had no idea where she was, but she was sure that it was a bad place. This was not how she had expected to find herself when her senses returned: death should be followed by eternal bliss. Or at least, that was what the world she represented had always told her. She kept shouting until she heard noise outside the room. She looked in the direction the noise was coming from, but, as the room had no apparent doors, she was unsure who had heard her and if they could even reach her.

Suddenly, a part of the wall swung open towards her and she fell silent, watching the space with wide eyes.

"You are literally the lowest ranking, lowest form of creature in Spirit World," a gruff voice said. "You understand that, right?"

A short but well-built ogre lumbered into the room, though he was looking at something beyond the door.

"Well, if that's true, I'm surely not smart enough, or capable enough, to bring anything other than water here in this glass. Wouldn't you agree?"

The voice that had answered him was tight and tense, haughty but a little apprehensive, but, above all, unmistakably familiar. Ayame stepped into the room with a tall, clear glass of water.

"Knock yourself out," the ogre told her.

"You had better leave me the key," Ayame answered him.

"I don't think so," he said.

"She can't even sit up," Ayame argued. "Either leave me the key or remove her restraints."

The ogre neither did nor said anything in response to Ayame's request.

"Surely the restraints are unnecessary," Ayame tried. "Botan is, after all, a ferry girl, just like me. And you have spent the last several minutes telling me why all ferry girls are useless and worthless, so I hardly see how she is any threat to you."

"She's a threat to herself," the ogre replied.

"She can't leave this room and she can't hurt herself in here," Ayame pointed out.

"King Enma's orders."

"Don't you find it insulting?"

"Huh?"

"That a man of your calibre and physical prowess has to restrain a ferry girl this way. It almost seems as though King Enma doesn't trust you to contain her yourself. Is that the case? Do you require to keep her bound because you are incapable to containing her?"

The ogre narrowed his eyes and gave Ayame a scrutinising look. She kept her back straight and her face stoic – though Botan recognised the tell-tale indent below her bottom lip that indicated she was clenching her jaw and on the verge of cracking.

"No funny business," the ogre warned, before approaching Botan.

Botan tried to move away from him, but he casually leaned over her, almost pinning her to the bed, and opened the manacle on her wrist and then the one on her ankle. He then moved over to the opening in the wall, throwing one last glare at Ayame before taking his leave. Ayame started to push the soft-of door closed, but the ogre shouted back at her to leave it open, and with a sneer of displeasure, she conformed.

"I brought you some water," she whispered, approaching Botan's bedside with the glass of water.

Botan scrambled to get into a sitting position, noticing as she did so that she was still in the same outfit she had been wearing when she had awoken in the prison cell.

"I thought you must be thirsty," Ayame offered.

Botan looked about herself before looking up at Ayame, who moved the glass closer to her. Botan nodded and took the offer from her, the weight of it feeling almost excessive, causing her to cradle the glass in both hands as she lifted it to her lips. The water was perfectly cooled and had that particular smoothness to it that only water from Spirit World ever did. She had intended to just sip at it, but found herself drinking it down, only occasionally pausing to breathe.

"Is it good?" Ayame asked.

Botan nodded.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Ayame whispered. "I thought we were too late. I didn't think you would ever wake up."

Botan finished the glass and moved her eyes to Ayame.

"Wake up?" she asked.

Ayame nodded.

"They told me you woke up as soon as they started cutting you free the first time," she whispered. "And the second time it was almost as quick. And the third time, you sort of drifted in and out. But this time, the fourth time, you were completely unresponsive. Do you remember anything at all?"

Botan looking down into the empty glass in her hands.

"I remember you made me tea," she said. "From your special blend…"

Botan looked up at Ayame again, suspicious that the older ferry girl had once again appeared with a drink for her: but when she saw the look on Ayame's face, any animosity she had felt vanished instantly.

"I didn't know, Botan," Ayame whispered, her voice quivering as tears blurred her eyes. "He didn't tell me. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay," Botan assured her. "But… Sorry for what? And who told you what?"

Ayame took the empty glass from Botan – which she was silently glad of, as her arms were quite weak and holding it had been quite tiring – and looked back over her shoulder.

"I can't," she concluded, turning back to Botan. "It's not time yet. We have to… I'm sorry, we can't just yet. But soon, I promise."

"Promise what?" Botan asked. "What are you talking about?"

Ayame looked over her shoulder again.

"I have to go," she said. "But I will be back, I promise. Just… Please just hold on."

"Ayame, you're not making any sense!" Botan cried.

Ayame hurriedly moved to the door, where she was met by the same surly ogre from before.

"Are we done?" he asked her sarcastically.

"For now, yes," she tersely replied. "But I will be back to serve her dinner."

"We serve her food," the ogre replied. "She's on a bland diet. She can't have anything that might stimulate her."

"That's fine," Ayame said. "You can supply the food, but I insist that you allow me to bring it to her. An important part of her rehabilitation is to bring order and duty back into her life, and the responsibility for that lies with me."

"How much "order and duty" is involved with picking up dead spirits from one place and dropping them off someplace else?" the ogre asked.

"Considerably more than you might think."

Ayame and the ogre exchanged irritated looks before both stepped away and the door closed behind them, disappearing as it did so, leaving Botan alone once more in the small, soft, white room, devoid of doors or windows. She was at least unshackled, and so she shuffled around to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Where am I?" she quietly asked.

It was a strange room, one she had never seen or heard of before. The fact that an ogre and Ayame had come to her told her she was likely still in Spirit World – and the water Ayame had given her was undoubtedly from Spirit World – but she felt she was somehow at the very edge of Spirit World. She felt as though she was somewhere and nowhere all at once. In fact, other than having her physical senses returned to her, she felt no different to how she had felt in the darkness.

And, with that thought in mind, she crawled onto the bed, curling herself up into a ball and closing her eyes, allowing herself to fall back into the darkness.

* * *

Botan awoke suddenly, her initial thought being that she could not remember falling asleep or even that she had been asleep. Her second thought was the thing that had awoken her: she sat up and noticed that she was still in that odd white room, and the disappearing door had appeared, and was open, and Ayame was in the room with her.

"You're awake!" Ayame greeted her. "You slept right through dinner last night."

Botan had no concept of time to really appreciate or know how to respond to what she had just heard, and so she stayed silent.

"Here's your breakfast," Ayame presented a bowl of sticky white sludge to Botan, who peered into it, sniffing at it tentatively.

"What is that?" Botan asked.

"Tofu and bean pudding," Ayame replied. "I think…"

Botan lifted her eyes to Ayame.

"What do I do with it?" she asked.

"Eat it?" Ayame replied.

Botan accepted the bowl from her, but let it rest in her lap, her eyes drifting over to the toilet, the place she intended to dump the contents of the bowl as soon as Ayame left the room.

"You're done," a gruff voice called into the room. "Get out."

"I'm not finished here!" Ayame said sternly over her shoulder. "I have to fix her bedding!"

Botan looked about herself. The bed she was sitting on was a little dishevelled, but hardly looked as though it required "fixing". She turned her attention back to Ayame, who was aggressively fluffing her pillow. Partway through Ayame's exaggerated actions, Botan noticed the twinkle of something silver slipping out of one of her sleeves and into the pillowcase.

Botan narrowed her eyes and slowly moved them to Ayame's face. As their eyes met, Ayame gave her an awkward wink and then dropped the pillow.

"Enjoy your breakfast," she said, bowing her head. "I'll be back at lunchtime."

She left the room, the last glimpse Botan caught of her being as she stopped just beyond the doorway to glower at the short ogre waiting there. The door closed, and, as before, it disappeared into the wall.

Botan stood up, a little shakily, and moved over to the toilet, whereupon she upturned the bowl in her arms, letting the contents drop into the toilet bowl. She flushed away the sludge and put the bowl down on the ground before approaching the bed and carefully picking up the pillow. It felt heavier than she expected it to and when she turned it around, she noticed a cylindrical lump in the pillowcase. She carefully placed the pillow down on the bed, with the lump facing upwards, before cautiously poking at the anomaly with one hand.

It was warm.

Botan pinched the edge of the pillowcase and lifted it up, leaning her head down to peer inside. As her eyes landed on the foil-wrapped cylinder she drew in a deep breath and felt herself turn into an illogical animal. She thrust a hand into the pillowcase and grabbed the warm foil roll, retrieving it and tearing it open frantically. The smell of the still steaming tamagoyaki was intoxicating and, without shame or pretence, she devoured the whole thing, before sucking each of her fingertips in turn to ensure she had consumed every last morsel. She moved over her left hand and then onto her right, starting with her thumb. She got to her middle finger before she realised something was wrong.

Botan slowly removed her finger from her mouth and lowered her hand, looking down at it. Her palm was bound in bandaging and part of her ring finger was missing.

She paused.

She had lost that finger when she had tried to stop the attack on Shizuru.

"Real," she said to herself softly.

She looked at the torn mess of foil at her feet.

"Real," she said again.

She held out both her hands, seeing that her left palm was also bandaged.

"Real," she said. "Real, real, real."

She closed her fists.

"Real."

She began to breathe more heavily. It was real. The wounds were real. How she had suffered them was real. Shizuru's pain was real.

"Shizuru," Botan said, looking in the direction of the disappearing door.

She started to move towards where the door ought to be but fell to her knees before she got there. She was physically weak, but it was not a physical weakness that had caused her fall.

It was all real. Everything. The pain, the darkness, and that creeping shadow that had attacked Shizuru.

For the first time, Botan found herself awake and no longer wanting to return to the Lure. It was a little odd, because, before, the desire – the need – to return to the Lure had been overwhelming, but this time, she knew she would not go back. Something had changed, but nothing had changed the fact that something terrible had happened to Shizuru, and, stuck in that odd little room, Botan had no way of knowing what.

And then, from nowhere, Botan remembered something she had thought about before: she was alone. Every time she had woken up, she had ended up alone. Nobody had come to see her. The fact that King Enma had become involved and decided to put her into prison was not good, but that, combined with how the prison guard had treated her, left her wondering if everyone felt that same way he had. She wondered if everyone thought she was terrible for going back to the Lure so many times. The Lure created illusions of hope: maybe that moment when Shizuru had spoken about dealing with her mother's addictions and telling Botan that she cared about her and forgave her was just another illusion of hope the Lure had created.

Botan let herself slump to the floor, finding that lying there was at least as comfortable as lying on the bed due to the padded flooring. She closed her eyes and felt a tear roll down one side of her face.

She had no idea what had been real and what had been an illusion, but, as she lay there thinking about it, she supposed that anything that had happened after she met the Lure was probably false. The very fact that she was so very isolated in that strange room was really all the answer she needed. Nobody else was there because everybody else had given up. In a way, she felt they were right. If anyone she knew had wilfully chosen a false existence over real life so many times, it did seem pointless to intervene. The only person who, in any way, she could genuinely say had appeared to care was Koenma: at least he had tried to fight her being detained in prison, tried to stop her move to the place she now found herself.

With her eyes closed, in darkness, she had felt safe: but she was no longer sure feeling safe was enough any more.

* * *

Botan groaned and rolled over as something pushed up against her. She heard Ayame enter the room and talk about a meal, and, even without opening her eyes, Botan already knew it was more of that white mush. Ayame then stood over her and spoke about leaving an important book for her to read, and argued with the ogre outside the room that the contents of the book were an important part of ferry girl duties. Ayame hovered over Botan for a little longer, but Botan kept her eyes shut, not really wishing to get into any sort of conversation with her. She waited until the door had closed and the room was silent before finally opening her eyes and sitting up.

She was still where she had fallen, on the floor, by the temporary, disappearing door. There was another bowl of white mush on the floor by her bed, and, alongside it, was a thick, hardback book. Botan moved onto her hands and knees and crawled over, hooking a hand over the book and pulling it towards herself. The cover told her it was "The Principles for Correct Behaviour and Protocol Between Officers of the Spirit Realm and Departed Souls of the Living Realm". Botan sat back onto her heels and laid the book on her thighs with a sigh. Maybe reading it would be a comfort. Maybe reading and thinking about something so dry and mundane would be a welcome distraction. Holding the book – one of the ancient, leather-bound and gold-leaf detailed tomes from the upper echelons of the Spirit World library – did give her a strange sense of purpose. It was the sort of official relic of a book that only Ayame was ever entrusted to touch, and so the fact that she had it in her hands did give her a small sense of reassurance that she was being trusted.

Botan opened the book.

Botan closed the book.

She gave a small shake of her head, blinked purposefully a few times and opened the book again: but a second look changed nothing. The inside of the book – the very pages themselves – had been desecrated. A square hollow had been cut into the pages, destroying almost every page in the book, in order to create a space for hiding something. Botan reached a hand into the hole and lifted out a small plate, which was barely supporting an enormous slice of strawberry cream cake and a small cake fork.

Botan briefly contemplated the fact that what was happening was more like an illusion than anything else she had experienced recently, but the thought faded when she began eating the cake, shortly tossing aside the tiny fork and using her fingers to polish off her meal. The cake – just like the tamagoyaki Ayame has brought to her earlier – was one of her favourite foods. Which was a fact she was sure Ayame would not be aware of. And yet Ayame had been the one to serve her both meals. In secret. In ways that could have gotten her into a lot of trouble. Botan looked down at the defaced ancient book on her lap and concluded that Ayame still could get herself into a lot of bother. Ayame was not the type to defy Spirit World, to risk her reputation, to destroy a valued book for anything; least of all for delivering preferred food items to Botan, an apparent prisoner.

Something had been strange about Ayame since the very start of the mission involving the Lure. And it was strange that she was visiting Botan in the strange room she was in. It was clearly a part of Spirit World, but also clearly not a very nice part, and Ayame was not usually the type to do anything that strayed from her regular duties. The only reason Botan could possibly think that Ayame might be acting so unusually was that she was following orders from Koenma. Ayame was always very dutybound, but one thing that may make her do something unconventional or unexpected would be if Koenma asked her to as a personal favour. It was reassuring at least to think that Koenma was looking out for her, but, as she closed the book and placed it back down on the ground, she wondered how the destruction of a sacred item would be handled. It was something that Botan was surprised even Koenma would do: she wondered if Koenma had placed the cake and given the book to Ayame without telling her. Despite her personal loyalty and attachment to Koenma, it was doubtful Ayame would have carried the book in the condition it was. It would be more like her to refuse or else to report the act of vandalism.

Botan got up and moved over to the bed, climbing onto it and wrapping herself up in the bedsheets. The book and the food had been a welcome distraction, but her mind quickly moved past them to her situation. Wherever she was, she knew it was a bad place, and she had no idea how she would ever come back from it. It was possible King Enma might decide to leave her there forever. The room was quiet, plain and contained nothing to do or think about: though she supposed that was deliberate, as it was forcing her to think about what she had done. She closed her eyes, but sleep evaded her as her mind raced between a physical need to get up and run and a physical need to stay where she was, enveloped in the bedsheets and relatively safe. She shortly found herself obsessing over finding a way out, obsessing over the if and when she would ever leave the room.

And in a way, she was glad of the distraction that obsession gave her, as the other idea lingering at the back of her mind was the absence of her friends, and the idea that, if she ever was released from where she was being held, by then, all of her friends may well be long gone.

* * *

Botan awoke suddenly, at first mostly surprised that she had been asleep. She sat up – a little awkwardly, as she was tangled up in bedsheets – and turned towards the one wall where the intermittent door was. There was no sign of the door at that moment, but, at that moment, she could hear muffled voices beyond it. They sounded frantic.

She impatiently unwound herself from her bedding and stood up, but stopped there as the outline of the door appeared and Ayame entered the room, pushing a large food trolley, covered with a grey blanket: but rather than food, the trolley was supporting a small television and video player.

"Why did you open the door?" the angry ogre shouted at her.

"I already told you, I am here on duty," Ayame answered him.

"You can show her your dumb ferry girl training videos any time!" the ogre argued. "We're in the middle of a crisis here!"

"I have a duty to do," Ayame said.

"You've opened every door on your way in here!" the ogre cried. "You let that monster in!"

Botan felt a cold jolt of panic stab into her as, for one brief, horrifying moment, she thought that maybe the Lure had gotten to Ayame, and somehow convinced her to let it into Spirit World.

"You can't come in here!" the ogre yelled at something outside the room, beyond Botan's line of sight. "You shouldn't even be in Spirit World, demon!"

Ayame calmly pushed the trolley over to Botan's bedside and plugged the television and video player into a wall socket Botan had never noticed before.

"What's happening?" Botan asked her.

"I've come to show you some videos," Ayame replied. "To help with your rehabilitation."

Botan looked over at the open doorway, at the aghast ogre.

"What's going on out there?" she asked.

"Oh, yes, he did insist on coming with us," Ayame replied.

Botan wanted to ask Ayame who she was talking about and what she meant, but she struggled to find the words, and shortly found herself dropping into a sitting position on the edge of her bed at the sound of a familiar voice.

"I don't care about your rules. Your rules are as dumb as you are ugly."

The ogre stepped back out of Botan's line of sight and a demon she knew only too well stepped into his place. He turned his head to look into the room, offering a cocky smirk as his eyes met hers.

"Hey Botan," he greeted her. "Nice digs you got yourself here."

"You can't come in here," Ayame told him.

Yusuke, his hands in his pockets, casually stepped through the doorway and looked about himself.

"Did you hear what I just said?" Ayame said, her tone sterner. "You can't come in here. You must leave."

Yusuke sniffed and gave her a disinterested look.

"Now," Ayame added.

Yusuke looked back over his shoulder before facing her again to address her directly.

"Nice," he said quietly.

She gave him a strange look, one that did little to settle Botan's mounting suspicions of her.

"In here!" the ogre called out.

Captain Otake of the SDF appeared in the open doorway, looking stoic and poised: but when he caught sight of Yusuke looking back at him, he visibly faltered.

"Y-you!" he gasped. "What are you doing here?"

Yusuke turned back to Botan.

"I did come to see you," he told her. "But I guess I gotta go already."

"It's very disrespectful of you to just barge in here the way you did!" Ayame admonished him.

"You let him in!" the ogre complained from beyond the door.

"I can take a hint," Yusuke said with a sigh.

He then reached a hand up to his mouth, removing a piece of chewed gum.

"I'll see you soon, Botan," he said, pressing the gum onto the top of the television set as Ayame glared at him in abject horror. "Until then, enjoy the show."

He pointed at the television screen and then turned to walk away. Botan reached out a hand, wanting to say something to stop him, to ask him where the others were, if they were alright: but her hand fell as he stopped in the doorway, his hands still in his pockets.

"By the way," he said over his shoulder. "It's the ass muscles that give the power, not the thighs."

He pushed his hands further into his pockets, tightening his jeans around his backside, before slowly taking his leave. Botan was so confused by his words that she momentarily forgot all about his very presence there, only returning to the oddity of the situation when Ayame crept up to the open door and peered out into the hallway.

"What is–"

"Shh!"

Botan fell silent upon being hushed by Ayame, but she only felt more suspicious than she had before. Outside the room, she heard Yusuke casually commenting on things around him that were making Otake and the ogre increasingly irritated.

"What's this for?" he asked.

"Don't touch that!" Otake cried.

"What's this little room all about?" Yusuke asked. "Oh. It this where you spy on the girls' locker rooms?"

"You can't go in there!" the ogre yelled frantically.

A few more voices joined the protest, but Yusuke remained unaffected: even after Otake called out for "all available units to provide back-up". At the sound of footsteps running, Ayame quickly and quietly closed the door, sealing the room once more, with herself inside it. Botan made to ask her what she was doing, but again, Ayame shushed her. Botan then watched in a state of bemusement as Ayame slid one of the pins from her hair – the central pin, the one that was of uniform thickness, and not tapered, like the other two – and moved to one corner of the room. With a clicking sound, she revealed that the pin was in fact a pen, and with it in one hand, and summoning her oar in the other, she quietly lifted herself up until her head was almost touching the roof, whereupon she began scribbling over something in the very top corner of the room. Curiosity getting the better of her, Botan took a few steps closer to Ayame, squinting up at the object she was colouring over with black ink.

It was the lens of a camera.

Ayame held a finger to her lips to indicate that Botan should stay quiet, before drifting down and retrieving the lump of chewed gum Yusuke had deposited onto the television set she had brought in with her. Completely consumed by curiosity, Botan watched intently as Ayame stretched out the gum in her fingers and drifted up to another corner of the room, where she pressed the piece of gum, moulding it around what appeared to be a microphone.

"Someone's been filming and recording me in here?" Botan asked.

"Yes," Ayame replied, slipping off her oar and banishing it behind her. "But now we're clear."

She grasped the grey cloth covering the trolley she had pushed into the room, yanking it clear from the trolley in one smooth movement that managed to remove it from under the television and video player without knocking them over. Ordinarily, Botan would have been impressed with the trick, but she was distracted by what lay underneath the grey cloth: a white cloth emblazed with a familiar symbol. Ayame touched a hand to the cloth and, after a soft blue glow illuminated it entirely, the mark faded from the cloth.

"Clear!" she said.

Botan stumbled back as the cloth on her side of the trolley flew outwards, and a body rolled out from under the trolley, alone with a pile of pyramid shaped boxes.

"I don't know what was worse: being stuck in such a small space for so long or listening to your hammy acting."

Ayame touched a hand to her mouth as the figure shook off the pyramid boxes and stood up.

"I thought I did a very convincing job," Ayame said.

"Not really. Though I guess your audience weren't exactly the brightest."

The figure turned from Ayame to Botan and Botan felt tears burn her eyes before falling into the arms that opened for her. She gladly buried her face into a silky shirt and squeezed her arms around a familiar form, inhaling that distinct scent of menthol cigarettes and violet perfume that always made her feel just that little bit safer.

"Hey, it's okay," Shizuru said softly. "Don't cry."

"I didn't think I would ever see you again!" Botan wailed.

"Yeah, you nearly didn't," Shizuru said, in what seemed like an inappropriately light-hearted manner.

Botan leaned back, holding her at arms' length and meeting her eyes.

"But you saved my life," Shizuru added. "Do you remember that?"

"It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen," Ayame gushed.

Botan glanced back and forth between the two of them.

"I tried to talk to you when the Lure had you," Shizuru explained. "It seemed like you heard at least some of what I said."

Botan momentarily felt numb.

"That was real?" she asked faintly.

Shizuru nodded.

"You said… You said you forgave me," Botan said.

Shizuru smiled and planted a hand on top of Botan's head.

"There's nothing to forgive, silly," she said warmly. "We're all just glad to have you back."

"You are?" Botan asked. "But… I went to the Lure!"

"Yeah, I know."

"I went back to the Lure. Over and over!"

Shizuru moved her hands to Botan's shoulders and looked her straight in the eye.

"Hey sweetheart, do you remember when Tarukane kidnapped Yukina?" she asked.

"Of course I do!" Botan replied. "But what does that have to do with–"

"He tortured Yukina, do you remember that?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Right. Some twisted bastard hurt her. Did any of us blame Yukina for bleeding when that monster hurt her?"

Botan shook her head.

"Well, it's the same thing here and now," Shizuru said. "None of us blame you for what the Lure did to you."

Botan shook her head.

"I promise," Shizuru added.

"But I chose to go back!" Botan said.

"I don't really think you did," Shizuru answered. "I think you tried to fight it the first time you met it, you realised it was tougher than you thought, you tried to call for help, but it had already got you. Then what it did to you left you in a way that you couldn't stop yourself going back. Not even if you wanted to."

Botan gripped her hands into Shizuru's shirt, partly to reassure herself that she was real, before her mind switched focus to something she had just heard.

"I did call for help," she said. "I called everyone, but no-one came!"

She could remember that much clearly at least: during her very first encounter with the Lure she had tried to call for help to fight it, but everyone she had called had mocked her.

"Yeah, my brother picked up the call," Shizuru said. "But you weren't there. That was how we first knew you'd been taken."

Botan frowned, tilting her head slightly as she tried to remember back, through all the wild experiences she had been through, to that moment when she had called for help. She remembered calling Koenma, and him telling her she could not possibly have found the Lure; she remembered calling Kuwabara, and Kurama doubting her and then Kuwabara telling her she should back off; she remembered calling Yusuke and him telling her that she could not possibly have found the Lure, as he and Hiei were tracking it and they were heading in the opposite direction to her.

"Kuwabara told me to go home when I called him," she concluded aloud.

"No," Shizuru said, shaking her head. "That's not what happened. He answered your call – I was with him when you called him – and you weren't there. Kurama told us it looked and sounded like the Lure had taken you and your communicator into its lair."

Botan searched Shizuru's eyes for any indication that she was telling any sort of lie: but the determination in her expression was unwavering.

"As soon as we got the call, we came to you," Shizuru continued. "Me, Kazuma and Kurama – we were all together – we ran to where you were."

"You-you did?" Botan asked. "But when I woke up that first time… There was only Kuwabara and Kurama with me."

Shizuru nodded.

"Look, it's a long story," she said gently. "And that's why I'm here: I figured you wouldn't have known what's been happening out here in the real world all that time you were inside the Lure's lair. So… That's what these are for."

Shizuru took a step back, releasing Botan, and together they looked down at the small pile of pyramid-shaped boxes on the floor.

"Did you get an adaptor alright?" Ayame asked.

"Yeah," Shizuru said, with a flat look on her face. "Don't tell Unworthy, but it turns out the "adaptor" is just a couple of triangles to make the shape right."

"He was right? Oh, that's so silly!" Ayame said.

Botan, although curious about what was inside the boxes at her feet, turned her attention to Shizuru, frowning at her curiously.

"What did you just say?" she asked.

"Oh, I'll explain later," Shizuru replied with a wave of her hand. "We probably don't have much time, so we should get to it. Will you guard the door, Boring?"

Botan's face dropped.

"On it, Worthy!" Ayame replied.

"What?" Botan whispered.

Shizuru turned to her and smiled.

"Oh, it's just a thing we started," she said, waving a finger back and forth between herself and Ayame.

"You and Ayame?" Botan asked.

"Yeah," Shizuru said, smiling fondly at Ayame. "You know you've got a pretty great Spirit World sister right there."

Botan looked over at Ayame, who was smiling at her warmly.

"I-I do?" Botan asked.

"Yeah, you do," Shizuru confirmed, bending down and picking up one of the pyramid boxes. "Now check this out."

She opened the box and removed what looked like a video cassette with the top corners shaved off the make it triangular-shaped.

"What's that?" Botan asked.

"This is the sort of cassette a Chekhov's video camera uses," Shizuru replied. "And unfortunately, I had to use eight of them to get the whole story."

Botan looked down at the seven remaining pyramids on the floor.

"I don't understand," she concluded.

"Kurama had this crazy idea," Shizuru explained. "He said I should film the fight with the Lure. I didn't understand why at first, but the more time passed, the more I was glad that I did. I think the answer to all the questions you have – and all the questions you didn't know you needed to ask – will be on these tapes."

Botan pointed a shaking finger at the triangular cassette in Shizuru's hand.

"That's a recording of me with the Lure?" she asked.

"Yeah, it is," Shizuru replied. "But you really have to see this."

Botan shook her head.

"I don't want to!" she protested. "I don't want to ever think about that thing ever again! I don't want to have to watch myself being stupid all over again!"

"Well, I could argue you are the least stupid person on these videos," Shizuru said.

"Least…?" Botan began. "Who else is on there?"

"We all are," Shizuru replied.

Botan shook her head.

"I know it probably sounds awful, but trust me Botan, you need to see what is on these tapes," Shizuru insisted. "I'll sit with you through it all. But you do have to see this."

"Why?" Botan asked. "Why do I have to see it?"

"Because some of the stuff that's on here is so unbelievable, you really are gonna have to see it to believe it."

Botan narrowed her eyes warily, but Shizuru pulled two small plastic triangles from the pockets of her jeans and clicked them into place on the triangular cassette, making it the size and shape of a regular video cassette. She then moved over and inserted it into the video player on top of the trolley, before wheeling the trolley around so that the television was facing the bed. She picked up the remote and crawled onto the bed, moving herself around to sit with her back against the wall and her legs crossed in front of herself.

"Come on, sweetie," she said, holding out her left hand towards Botan.

Botan hesitated, looking down at her friend's proffered hand, finding the gesture all-too-familiar: it was the same way she had held out her hand that night by the rice fields, right before she had been attacked.

"What happened to your arm?" Botan asked, slowly crawling onto the bed.

"This one?" Shizuru asked, holding up her left arm. "I nearly lost it. But then some badass babe jumped in and saved me."

Botan paused, on her knees at Shizuru's left side, frowning down at her.

"If you don't know what that means, you should make yourself comfortable, because the answer is on one of these videos," Shizuru said.

Botan sighed and tucked herself up at Shizuru's side in the way she always did when they were watching scary movies. Shizuru put an arm around her shoulder and Botan rested her head on Shizuru's shoulder, turning wary eyes to the television screen as it blinked to life.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** I took an artistic decision around chapter 7 of this fic that I would not write out the contents of the videos. Instead, the next few chapters jump back to the Lure's first appearance, and the story is told from Shizuru's point of view, watching on: showing which parts of Botan's illusions were actually real. **Chapter 26: Stay with me**


	26. Stay with me

**Last Chapter: **Botan woke up in a strange room, where she was very much alone, save for a few odd visits from Ayame, culminating in a visit where Yusuke followed Ayame into Spirit World, and, as he was being chased out, Ayame revealed that she had smuggled Shizuru and some video tapes into Botan's room. Botan was hesitant to watch the tapes, but Shizuru insisted, as they were recordings of her encounters with the Lure.

* * *

**Chapter 26: Stay with me**

Shizuru opened the door ahead of her younger brother and Kurama, who slowed to a halt halfway down the garden path. Kuwabara doubled over, grasping his knees and breathing hard. Kurama was, she suspected, just as exhausted, but he did a considerably better job of hiding it.

"Shizuru, my apologies for the intrusion," he said, his voice slightly uneven as he tried to disguise his breathlessness. "Especially today, on your birthday."

Shizuru folded her arms across her chest and leaned to one side, resting her shoulder against the doorframe.

"What sort of demon is bothering us now?" she asked.

"A very ancient, rare, and dangerous one," Kurama solemnly replied. "And Kuwabara had an idea – an idea that, at first, I thought sounded absurd, but with some consideration, I believe it may well prove to be beneficial, for future learning purposes, if nothing else."

"Did you just…" Kuwabara began, talking between breaths. "Call my idea… Dumb, Kurama?"

"No," Kurama smoothly answered him, before turning back to Shizuru. "We need to borrow your camera, Shizuru."

Shizuru smiled in spite of herself, one eyebrow stretching upwards.

"I understand it sounds like a ridiculous request," Kurama said.

"You are saying it's a dumb idea, Kurama!" Kuwabara complained.

"You want to film yourselves fighting a demon?" Shizuru asked Kurama.

"Yes," Kurama replied. "I think it could be beneficial to have a record of what we find when we find the Lure."

"Sure," Shizuru said. "Let me just go get it."

Shizuru turned away from the door before rolling her eyes. She could not decide if her brother wanted to film himself to prove some sort of point about his strength to his all-demon friends (who she often suspected he felt inferior to since the Demon World Tournament) or if he was just trying to prove to her that his present to her was actually of value: whatever the case was, she was certain Kurama would soon see sense and talk Kuwabara out of continuing once the fox demon saw exactly how big and heavy the camera was.

The camera was still in the bag Shizuru had used to carry it to her picnic party, and so she collected it from the hallway and took it to the porch.

"Aw, the camera was just there?" Kuwabara asked, pointing back into the house. "You didn't take it upstairs to your bedroom?"

"Not yet, baby bro," Shizuru wryly replied. "I was just about to do some stretches and a warm-up lap before you got here."

Kuwabara looked confused, but Kurama appeared to understand as he eyed the bag over critically.

"My apologies again, Shizuru," he said. "I had thought the camera was a portable, handheld one."

"It is!" Kuwabara wailed.

Kurama gave him an awkward look before addressing him with his usual clipped diplomacy.

"I'm sure it is," he said carefully. "But it would hardly be practical for you or I to carry it and still go into battle. Holding something large and aiming it appropriately, ensuring it is in focus–"

"I'll carry it."

Kurama and Kuwabara both turned their heads abruptly to Shizuru.

"I'll carry it," she said again, removing the camera from the bag. "I know how it works, I don't need to keep my hands free to fight, and I've never met a demon that I've had to exactly worry about, so I'll film for you."

"No way, sis!" Kuwabara argued immediately. "It's too dangerous! Right, Kurama?"

"I think perhaps someone as grounded and assured as Shizuru is the most resistant of us all against a Lure," Kurama replied. "Alright Shizuru, you can film this, but first, I'm going to need you to eat this."

Kurama removed a green roll from his pocket that unfurled into what appeared to be half of the leaf of a cheese plant.

"No thanks," Shizuru replied.

"Darn it, Shizuru, eat it already!" Kuwabara yelled.

Shizuru shot him a warning glare that he cowered back from.

"Please, sis!" he whimpered. "I don't want that Lure to hurt you!"

Shizuru sighed, before reluctantly accepting Kurama's offer.

"This looks completely inedible," she commented.

"Best just to get it down quickly," Kurama advised.

Shizuru nodded and tore the leaf piece in two, balling up one piece and cramming it into her mouth. The sensation disgusted her long before the taste did, and when she did chew through the greenery and released the juices within the leaf, it took considerable effort for her not to retch. Appreciating the validity of Kurama's advice, she chewed it twice more before swallowing it down and stuffing the remainder of the leaf into her mouth. After a few more quick chews to soften it a little, she again swallowed whole, letting out an involuntary shudder.

"Not the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth, but not far off the mark," Shizuru said to Kurama with a smirk.

He let out a slightly awkward laugh and she thought his face changed colour ever-so-slightly, as though embarrassed by the implications of her joke: but before she could tease him about it, she heard a familiar sound and turned to her brother at the moment he produced a small device from his coat pocket, bearing the Spirit World logo.

"It's Botan!" he said, flipping open the communication mirror. "Hey, Botan."

His greeting was answered with static and he looked confused.

"Botan?" he said again, leaning a little closer to the mirror. "Are you there, Botan?"

The static continued for a moment longer before ending with a sharp blipping sound that left Shizuru's ears ringing. She could see that Kurama had been bothered more by the noise, as he was wincing visibly.

"That was weird," Kuwabara said, looking between Shizuru and Kurama. "The call said it was coming from Botan, but she wasn't there. It was just grey fuzz and that scratching sound."

Kurama suddenly sobered up, a rare look of alarm appearing on his face.

"I'm guessing that wasn't static," Shizuru said to him.

"What did it look like, Kuwabara?" Kurama asked Kuwabara.

"Huh?" Kuwabara echoed.

"The grey fuzz on the screen, what did it look like?"

"Like… I dunno, grey fuzz?"

"Did it look like someone was dragging a thick layer of cobwebs over the screen?"

Kuwabara slowly closed the mirror with a click.

"Oh great, a spider demon," Shizuru said with a sigh.

"It's the Lure," Kurama said breathily. "It contains its victims within a web. If that call came from Botan's communication mirror then that means–"

"The Lure's got Botan?" Kuwabara interrupted him.

"I'm afraid so," Kurama replied. "Call Yusuke and Hiei and tell them to meet us–"

Kurama stopped talking abruptly, but Shizuru barely noticed as the air around her suddenly became so heavy that she stumbled forwards, ultimately landing on her knees on the grass, her arms falling to her side, no longer able to hold up the weight of the camera. The air felt damp and cloying, and an all-consuming sense of dread was filling up inside of her. She could hear voices whispering, at first sounding something like the sound that had been coming from Kuwabara's communicator, but shortly becoming clearer. It was just one voice, talking quickly, repeating the same thing, over and over.

"Go to sleep."

Shizuru felt her head droop, but a hand on her shoulder brought her back to her senses.

"We have to go," Kurama said to her. "Give the camera to Kuwabara and climb on my back, we need to get to Botan before it ensnares her entirely."

Kuwabara clumsily took the camera from Shizuru and started running. Shizuru watched him go, noticing then that the sky was full of black tendrils, and her brother was running towards the point they appeared to be emanating from. Driven by sisterly instinct, she got to her feet and accepted Kurama's offer, knowing that he could carry her to the destination much more quickly than she could run there herself. As soon as she was on his back, Kurama began to run, as though she weighed nothing. She had to hold onto him with all her strength, her long hair streaming out behind them and Kurama's hair only held in place because of how tightly Shizuru had her arms around his shoulders. He somehow managed to catch up to Kuwabara, who himself was clearly sprinting as fast as he could. They continued together in silence, only slowing pace when they entered a large field.

Shizuru looked up as they slowed, a sickening, cold sweat breaking out over her as she saw that the entire sky had turned black. They were moving through a muddy field, that already looked bleak due to the wintry season, and they were heading towards a small clump of trees, ahead of which Shizuru could see a number of things happening. Yusuke and Hiei were apparently fighting, and behind them was a giant spider's web, glowing with a strangely misplaced positive energy.

"Put me down," Shizuru demanded, fighting her way off of Kurama's back.

Kurama and Kuwabara started to warn her not to continue, but she ignored them, stumbling to the ground and running at top speed. She ignored the increasingly damp and heavy air, she ignored the sensation of something sinister warning her away telepathically, and she ignored Hiei, punching Yusuke and telling him he was an idiot. She did not stop until she was standing directly in front of the densest clump of web, which was wrapped around a body, encasing it entirely except for the face.

Botan appeared to be dreaming, her eyes twitching and her mouth and eyebrows twitching through a variety of expressions.

"I'll get you out, Botan!" she said, reaching for the webbing.

"Don't touch that!"

Kurama grabbed his arms around Shizuru's waist and pulled her just out of reach of her goal. She moved her hands to his, locked together over her abdomen, and clawed into them to fight him off: but she hesitated when the voice spoke to her telepathically again.

"Stay out of this, Shizuru," a little girl's voice said, sounding so close and so clear, Shizuru looked about herself, expecting to see a child somewhere very close by.

"What is this thing?" she asked anyone who would answer her. "It's hurting Botan!"

"We can't just wade in and break her free!" Kurama replied. "It's too late!"

"What the hell are you talking about, Kurama?" Yusuke asked, spitting out blood as he appeared at Shizuru's side.

"The fox is right, Yusuke," Hiei snarled. "It's too late. The Lure has her now. There's nothing any of you can do."

"Shut-up, Hiei!" Yusuke snapped at him.

"You and I will continue this later," Hiei said to him darkly.

"Continue what?" Kuwabara asked.

"He's pissed off because the Lure caught someone before we got to it," Yusuke replied.

"You said we should let it catch someone!" Kuwabara argued, pouting at Hiei.

"I said we should allow it to capture a human!" Hiei argued back. "I never said we should give it a victim!"

"No-one gave Botan to the Lure, Hiei," Kurama said.

"Shut-up, Kurama," Hiei replied.

Kurama sighed softly.

"Shizuru, the best thing you could do for us is to film this," he said to Shizuru, releasing her finally.

She turned to face him, unsure that she had actually heard him correctly.

"You want me to film this?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied. "If you would please."

"What exactly am I filming?" Shizuru asked, grabbing the camera from her brother and hoisting it onto her shoulder. "Because if you brought me here to film a spider demon eating my friend, I'll feed you to it next."

Kurama held up his hands, his expression suggesting that he was taking her threat entirely seriously.

"Please, I do believe it will be useful," he said. "And I promise you, we can, and we will, get Botan out of this in one piece."

"She better be in one piece, Kurama," Shizuru warned as she turned on the camera and began filming. "Or else I'll be delivering you to your mother in a thousand pieces."

Shizuru hesitated before pointing the camera at Botan as she noticed Yusuke smiling at her.

"This isn't funny," she warned him.

"I'm not laughing," he said with a shrug. "I was just thinking it was kinda hot watching you get so angry about your girlfriend like that."

"Shut-up, Urameshi!" Kuwabara cried, his voice cracking.

"All of you shut-up and get out of my way!" Hiei declared.

Shizuru pointed the camera at him, finding that he had removed the bandana from his head, exposing his Jagan Eye.

"What are you going to do, Hiei?" Kurama asked him.

"What do you think I'm going to do, Kurama?" Hiei replied sarcastically. "I'm going to draw her out of there."

"I don't recommend touching the–"

Kurama stopped short and everyone – including Shizuru – winced as Hiei grabbed the webbing around Botan's face and pulled it out of the way. Smoke hissed angrily from his hands, his skin reddening and then turning a sickening shade of purple that blossomed slowly outwards from the point of contact with the web. Fine strands of web occasionally snapped loose, every length whipping out at Hiei, cutting his arms and face, leaving small, thin lines of blood in their wake. He closed his eyes and opened his Jagan Eye: and the air changed. The oppressive, damp air around them suddenly became still and empty, as though they had all been transported into another dimension entirely, a space devoid of everything, an abyss of nothingness.

Shizuru looked into the lens of the camera, but even looking through the lens, she could see Hiei hanging onto the web around Botan. Then, to the surprise of everyone present, as expressed by a collective gasp, Botan spoke.

"Hiei," she said, her voice sounding as though she had just woken up.

"What have you done?" Hiei asked her, his voice low, his tone intense and probing.

Shizuru suspected he was partially keeping his voice so low because he did not want to be heard by those standing behind him, but the fact that he had managed to reach Botan was a reason to hope that she would soon be freed, and so Shizuru upheld her role, and continued filming their interactions.

"I caught the Lure," Botan said.

Her eyes were still closed, her head still clearly only held up by the webbing around it, but her voice was much clearer.

"You shouldn't have touched it," Hiei quietly, but firmly, answered her.

"Somebody had to catch it. I did call for help–"

"They shouldn't have let you come out here."

Yusuke groaned.

"Yeah, nice one Hiei, keep blaming me for the fact Botan was dumb enough to get caught!" he complained.

Hiei, however did not respond at all, apparently deep in the connection he had created with Botan, seemingly oblivious to the world outside of him. Botan's eyebrows twitched into a frown, her eyes still closed, and still twitching as though she was still deep in her own dream.

"But it's fine," she said. "I've caught it now and–"

"You didn't understand what it was capable of," Hiei interrupted her. "Koenma shouldn't have sent you out here like this."

"Koenma didn't specifically ask me to fight the Lure," she replied. "But I managed to–"

"You're lucky we found you as quickly as we did."

Botan remained quiet for a moment, her face twitching as though she was listening to a voice only she could hear.

"Why did you fight it on your own?" Hiei asked her, drawing her focus back to him.

She frowned, and then appeared to almost look indignant.

"None of you answered my call for help!" she said forcefully.

Shizuru swallowed down the sickening sensation that rose within her upon hearing those words: Botan had tried to call for help, she had tried to call Kuwabara, but the Lure had taken her communication mirror from her before she could talk.

"The mirror," Shizuru said to Kurama. "Botan must have been trying to call you for help. That thing took it. Didn't you say there were webs on the screen?"

"Yes, the mirror is likely somewhere in there too," Kurama agreed, nodding towards the webbing all around Botan.

"Then let's get it!" Kuwabara said, taking a step forwards.

"Idiot, didn't you see what touching that stuff did to Hiei?" Yusuke said, slapping a hand against Kuwabara's chest to halt his progress.

"Oh, yeah, right…" he muttered.

"You could have been seriously hurt," Hiei said to Botan. "You shouldn't have approached it alone."

"This thing couldn't hurt me!" Botan replied, sounding so cheerful and proud of herself, it almost brought tears to Shizuru's eyes. "It couldn't hurt a fly!"

"You're bleeding."

Shizuru frowned, adjusting the camera lens to zoom in a little, finding that, upon doing so, Botan appeared to have a bloody scuff mark on her left temple, as though she had fallen against something and scraped the skin.

"I-I'm fine," Botan said. "It's just a small scratch, I didn't even feel it happen."

"You shouldn't have fought it alone," Hiei answered her.

Kurama moved forwards, planting a hand on Hiei's shoulder, a spark of energy jolting out from Hiei's body, clearing hurting Kurama. The fox demon kept his hand in place though and addressed Hiei evenly.

"Hiei, we should focus on bringing her back," he said,

Hiei shrugged off Kurama's hand. Kurama started to reach out to him again but stopped short when Hiei suddenly released the web and turned around, all three of his eyes open.

"What is she doing here?" he asked through a hiss.

The others turned and Shizuru followed, panning the camera around: though she almost dropped it when she saw a familiar cobalt blue car slowly bumbling across the muddy field towards them, the vehicle clearly not fit for off-road purpose, but being driven by a face the zoomed in camera lens showed to be determined and a little angry.

"Damn it, is that Keiko's car?" Yusuke said. "She thinks I'm in Demon World right now, she's gonna be mad if she finds out I came to this world and didn't visit her."

"I'm sure she'll understand, Urameshi, you're helping out," Kuwabara answered. "She only came here because she cares about you, you should be grateful that your woman is risking her life – and her car – coming all the way out here just to check up on you!"

"Get her out of here, now!" Hiei shouted, marching up to Yusuke.

"I didn't ask her to come here, calm down, short-ass!" Hiei shouted back.

"He's not talking about Keiko," Kurama said quietly to Yusuke.

Although nobody asked Kurama to clarify that statement, thanks to her camera, Shizuru did not need to ask: Yukina was sitting in the front passenger seat, her hands clasped together by her chin, her eyes large and glistening with worry.

"Damn it, that's the last thing we need," Yusuke grumbled, apparently realising that Keiko was not alone.

"Get her out of here, Yusuke!" Hiei insisted. "Don't let her get any closer!"

"What's your problem with Keiko, Hiei?" Kuwabara asked. "That's what a real woman who cares about her man does! She comes out, into dangerous situations – why the heck has Keiko taken Yukina out here, doesn't she know how dangerous this is?"

Kurama sighed and Yusuke rolled his eyes.

"I'll get them out of here," Yusuke conceded. "But Hiei, you have to get Botan back."

"I don't need you to state the obvious!" Hiei snapped irritably.

"We'll stay here too," Kurama added. "Just get them to safety."

Yusuke nodded and started across the field, waving his arms above his head. Keiko kept driving, only stopping when Yusuke clattered onto the bonnet of her car. She then rolled down her window and stuck her head out, shouting at him to get out of her way. They began arguing, and Kuwabara remained distracted watching them, but Kurama nodded at Shizuru, who turned the camera back to Botan, as Hiei started towards her again.

Hiei slowed as he neared Botan, his movements looking as though his body had suddenly become much heavier, as though he was wading through a thick marsh, every step a strain. It took him some time to get close to Botan again, and this time, as he reached for the web, static flashes reached out towards him, burning his skin before he even made contact. A strand of web snapped loose and slapped him hard across the nose, leaving a noticeable bloody welt: but he persisted, once more getting hold of the web and closing his eyes.

"Hello Hiei," Botan said, sounding eerily normal amidst the abnormalities around her. "What brings you here?"

"You know why I'm here," he answered her.

A frown flickered over her face.

"Yes," she said, sounding a little unsure of herself.

"Why did you tackle it alone?" he asked.

"The Lure?" she asked.

Something dark stirred deep within the web behind Botan, and that damp, cloying sensation once more took hold of Shizuru. A hole opened up in the web above Botan's head and, to Shizuru's surprise, the head of a little girl poked out of it, peering down at Hiei.

"Well, that's your opinion, and you are of course entitled to it," Botan said. "But I think I handled the situation with aplomb: and so does Lord Koenma. In fact, he's offered me a promotion."

"A promotion?" Hiei repeated. "That's what it is?"

"Yes, that's what it is," Botan affirmed. "I suppose you think working for the Border Patrol is demeaning, somehow, but you do it too!"

The little girl above her reached out an arm, stretching out her fingertips towards Hiei. She was well short of her goal, but appeared not too concerned about it.

"Why did you tackle the Lure alone?" Hiei asked. "Did you think defeating it was a way of proving yourself somehow?"

"No!" Botan cried.

Shizuru's mouth opened soundlessly as the little girl's fingers turned black and began to extend downwards. As they grew, they took on an insect-like appearance, hard and shiny, crooked and platelike, much like the pincers of a dung beetle. Kuwabara took a step forwards but Kurama grabbed his arm and shook his head, holding him back as the pointed tips of the girl's black fingers touched Hiei's forehead.

"You are impossible," he said softly. "I can't reason with you."

The tips of the black fingers penetrated Hiei's skin, bursting into his forehead all around the edges of his Jagan Eye.

"We have to do something, Kurama!" Kuwabara protested.

"No," Kurama sternly replied. "If you move in, you risk Hiei getting hurt and you risk losing Botan entirely. We have to stay back. Only Hiei can do this now."

"Seriously?" Kuwabara wailed.

Kurama nodded and Shizuru swallowed hard as blood began to trickle down over Hiei's closed eyes: but still he held on.

* * *

"Are you still rolling?"

Shizuru nodded in answer to her brother, but her eyes were fixed on the scene ahead of her, which she was still barely managing to point the camera at. Her arms ached, her wrists, elbows and shoulders almost locked into position in their fatigue from holding up the heavy camera for so long. It was getting dark, most of the day had passed, and, being early January, the setting sun and onslaught of nightfall was causing the temperature to plummet. Kuwabara and Kurama were standing either side of Shizuru, and all three were standing facing a scene that was close to reaching them: a trickle of blood had wended its way towards them.

Hiei was hanging, limp, his clothing slick and dripping blood. The only thing keeping him upright was his tenacious grip on the webbing around Botan's face. The Lure was no longer a little human girl with long black fingers: it had reverted to what Shizuru supposed was its true form, and every one of the long black claws it had for fingers was pierced painfully into Hiei. The fingers of one hand were pierced into his torso, shoulders and upper arms, and the fingers on the other hand had been inserted under the top layers of skin on his forehead, the middle, longest finger piercing into the pupil of Hiei's Jagan Eye: which was bleeding more than any other part of his body under assault. The Lure's true form was sickening to behold. The little girl's face had changed shape, and although still essentially humanoid, it had unnatural features that were unsettling to look at. Its forehead had enlarged, swelling outwards, but its hairline had not followed, leaving it with a balding appearance. Its eyebrows had disappeared, its eyes had become round and seemed to be protruding from its face, surrounded by dark circles and with small, staring black pupils and irises. Its nose appeared to have been flattened, the nostrils appearing as long, downward slits. Its cheekbones were sharp and pronounced, sticking outwards over the top of the V-shaped mouth the creature had: a wide grimace that spread almost to its ears. It had an unnaturally long neck, its arms looked like the bony appendages of a pterodactyl, and its legs were still the same colour as the skin on its face, but they had become scaly, its feet bursting out of the shoes it had been wearing, more closely resembling the feet of a bird, the toes forming black talons as vicious as the ones it had for fingers.

"It's been quiet too long, Kurama!" Kuwabara complained. "We can't just stand here and watch this thing kill Hiei and torture Botan!"

"You must not interfere, Kuwabara!" Kurama sternly replied.

Kurama's voice had become hoarse, an unusual sound to Shizuru's ears, but she knew it was only because he had spent the entire day telling her brother to stand down. She knew her brother was impetuous, she knew it must be difficult for him not to rush in, and, the fact that she was finding it difficult not to rush in herself, was the only reason why Shizuru was not also scolding her brother every time he complained. The scene before them had been still and tense for so long, the only slight respite they had enjoyed was when Yusuke had called on Kuwabara's communication mirror and told him he was going to stay with Keiko and Yukina, to keep them safe until the Lure had been dealt with.

Kuwabara groaned and clenched and unclenched his fists, and, just when it seemed like he might have another outburst of frustrated impatience, Hiei's body lurched for no apparent reason, and the Lure tilted its ugly head as it regarded him with its enormous, exposed eyeballs.

"What the hell is this?" Hiei said, speaking for the first time in several hours.

The Lure leaned closer to him.

"What is this?" he asked.

Botan's lips, turned white now, moved, but no sound came out. Her eyes twitched beneath her closed lids and her entire body, still encased in webbing, jerked forwards. The Lure looked down at her, clearly not expecting the movement.

"Hiei?" Botan said. "You wanted to see me?"

Shizuru held her breath as she watched on, her brother and even Kurama equally spellbound at her sides.

"Yes," Hiei said. "I need to tell you something, and you must listen to me very carefully."

"Okay," Botan said, her head moving slightly as though she was trying to nod in agreement. "Should we stay here, or go somewhere more private?"

The Lure hissed and jerked its arms forwards. Hiei was forced outwards, barely hanging onto the webbing around Botan's head. The purple glow flared around his hands, which were blackened, his bandages long since disintegrated by the harmful energy the web was emitting. The trickle of blood began to move again, stretching across the ground until it came to rest against the toe of one of Shizuru's shoes, where it pooled until it had covered part of her foot. She could feel it, she could see it on the edge of her vision, but Shizuru still could not take her eyes off of what was unfolding ahead of her. Hiei appeared to have been overwhelmed by the Lure after managing to momentarily reach Botan again, but the sky overhead had changed, the air was changing: the Lure was weakening.

"What?" Hiei grunted, his voice still low and clear, but with a slight edge of confusion.

"Nothing!" Botan said, sounding almost like her usual self, the sound so sweet to Shizuru's ears her eyes blurred with tears upon hearing it. "I was just trying to preserve my modesty!"

Shizuru choked out a short laugh in spite of herself. Even under the spell of an evil demon, Botan was still her usual, wonderful, non-sensical, silly, lovely self.

"What?" Hiei said, sounding ever so slightly embarrassed then.

"I was worried when the wind took my dress, you might have been looking at my underpants."

Kuwabara made a squawking, awkward protest, and again, Kurama told him to stay back. Hiei turned his head – as much as he could with the Lure's talons embedded into him – and growled back at Kuwabara, flashing his teeth in a warning gesture. He then returned to facing Botan and addressed her directly.

"I wasn't looking at your underpants, woman!" he told her sternly.

"I never said that you were!" Botan replied with gusto.

"Is this really where you go?" Hiei asked her.

"I'm not going anywhere!" Botan responded. "Where do you think I'm going? I'm not going somewhere rude or dirty, if that's what you mean, Hiei!"

"I don't mean anything. You started this."

"It was just that I thought you might have been sneaking a look up my dress."

"Gees, what the heck is going on?" Kuwabara wailed.

Hiei turned, managing to turn his head to the point that he was almost facing Kuwabara. Although his eyes were still closed, his punctured and bloodied Jagan Eye glared at Kuwabara in a way that made Shizuru and even Kurama take a step back. Hiei snarled and bared his teeth, showing fangs Shizuru had never noticed in his mouth before.

"Never mind about that," he said as he turned back to Botan.

"I don't mind," Botan replied.

There was a short pause, and before she knew what she was doing, Shizuru found herself taking that step forwards again, somehow doing so in sync with both Kuwabara and Kurama.

"I wasn't looking at you like that, woman," Hiei eventually said.

"Okay," Botan replied. "But… If you were–"

"I wasn't!" Hiei cut her off.

"I wouldn't mind," Botan said, almost appearing to smile. "If you were."

The Lure pushed downwards, pushing Hiei down away from Botan. He finally lost his grip on the webbing by her face, but he grabbed at the webbing around her body as he fell, blinding sparks of searing demon energy blasting from every impact point. He finally steadied himself by her waist, gripping his fists around into the webbing and hanging on with everything he had.

"Botan," he said. "I need you to listen to me."

The sound of his voice made Shizuru shiver. The Lure was starting to look concerned.

"This is important," Hiei said.

"Okay, I'm listening," Botan said. "But – for the record – I really wouldn't mind if you did look up my dress–"

"Botan!" Hiei shouted, one of his fists biting through the webbing.

Kuwabara gasped and Shizuru's jaw fell open, watching as Hiei's hand and wrist disappeared into the webbing, emerging again seconds later, taking one of Botan's hands with it. The harmful demon energy that had been searing his hand vanished on that side. It continued assaulting his other hand, but died away completely as part of Botan's arm emerged from within the cocoon.

"Let me heal that for you."

The Lure hissed upon hearing Botan's words, shrieking a horrendous noise when Botan's white spirit energy flared from her hand, engulfing Hiei's wounded hand.

"Are you-are you doing that on instinct?" Hiei said incredulously. "You're using your healing energy instinctively."

"I don't want you to be in pain, Hiei," Botan said. "I care about you."

The Lure slid one hand back, its long, bony fingers sliding out of Hiei's body.

"You shouldn't be doing this right now," he said.

"I don't mind," Botan answered him. "I don't mind doing this for you. I don't mind doing anything for you. Anything you want me to."

The Lure drew back its other hand, releasing Hiei entirely.

"There's just one thing I want you to do," Hiei said.

The Lure crept backwards and upwards, up over the top of its disgusting lair.

"Anything," Botan said.

The Lure turned around, and, in the blink of an eye, it was gone.

"I want you to wake up," Hiei said.

"Wake up?" Botan asked. "But I'm not–"

Botan stopped short as the cocoon of web she was enveloped in fell to the ground. Hiei landed on top of her but quickly got to his feet, opening his eyes and closing his Jagan Eye. He staggered back from her, pressing a hand to his still bleeding third eye.

"Now, go now!" Kurama said.

Kuwabara took off in a sprint, leaping onto the Lure's lair, intent on chasing down the demon: but he was blasted with the same purple energy that had been burning into Hiei, and he was thrown back to the ground, landing on his back. Kurama hurried over to Hiei's side, but Hiei backed away from him and waved away his offer of assistance.

"Leave me alone," he growled. "Just… Take care of her-get her out of here-just don't… Just leave me alone."

Hiei stumbled about a little before turning and running. Usually, when he ran, Shizuru quickly lost sight of him, as he was simply too fast for her eyes to track, but this time, weakened by his battle with the Lure, she saw him go, watching him (and inadvertently pointing the camera at him) until he was out of sight. She then turned back to Botan and moved closer to her as Kurama grabbed the webbing around her face. The same purple energy flared violently, the heat from it so intense that Shizuru was forced to stumble back a step: but not before Kurama managed to start tearing open the cocoon, strands of webbing whipping loose, one of which bit into Shizuru's thigh, cutting her skin painfully even through her clothing.

"Kuwabara!" Kurama growled. "Use your Spirit Sword to cut this!"

Kuwabara crept over, rubbing a hand at the back of his head as he eyed Kurama's reddening hands warily.

"Cut what?" he asked.

"The web, dingus!" Shizuru snapped. "Cut it open, get Botan out of there!"

Kuwabara summoned his Spirit Sword, the green glow indicating he had formed it ready for cutting through barriers.

"Um…" he said, looking back and forth between the long glowing blade of energy on his hand and Botan.

"Idiot, make it shorter!" Shizuru barked at him. "Like a knife. Then cut her free!"

"Oh, good idea, sis!" he brightened.

The length of energy shortened and Kuwabara knelt down on one side of Botan, aiming his Spirit Sword at the webbing between Kurama's two hands. As Kurama stretched the webbing apart and away from Botan's body, Kuwabara began carefully cutting down the length of it, slowly opening it out. Shizuru, finally feeling reassured that Botan was safe, suddenly became aware of just how heavy the camera was and just how sore she was from holding it aloft so long. Her arms fell to her sides and the camera clattered to the ground. Kurama threw her a glance over his shoulder.

"You should go too, Shizuru," he said.

"You're going to get her out in one piece, right Kurama?" she asked him.

"I swear to you we will," Kurama said confidently. "Please, go. If you can, find Hiei."

Shizuru nodded and started to run in the direction Hiei had fled. She knew she had no hope of catching him, but something told her she would not need speed to catch up to him. She was cold and weary and sore and emotionally drained, and not even running at half the speed she could manage if she put any great effort into it, a pace that would look laughable to a high-speed demon like Hiei: and yet, after just a few short minutes, Shizuru caught up to Hiei.

"Hey, Hiei," she said as she slowed to a halt at his side.

"Leave me alone," he growled.

He was on his knees, his head hanging low.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Shizuru asked him.

"I'll be fine," he grumpily replied. "Something as weak as a Lure can't really hurt me."

Shizuru quirked an eyebrow at him, and even though he could not possibly have seen the gesture from the angle he was at, he responded as though he had.

"I'm not hurt!" he snapped irritably. "You just think I am because you are a human, and your standards of pain are so much lower than mine!"

"Okay big guy," Shizuru responded. "If you're still able to trash talk me, I'm gonna assume you'll be just fine."

"I will be!" Hiei grumbled.

"Okay, well, good. And, I know you don't put any stock in anything a measly human says to you, but, for what it's worth, thank you."

"Hn."

"Really, Hiei, thank you."

"I don't care what you think."

Shizuru narrowed her eyes, glaring down at the back of Hiei's head. His hair was wild and matted with blood, but he was no longer dripping blood, he was sounding a lot more like his usual self, and she was not about to feel sorry for him.

"Yeah," she said slowly. "I guess there's not even any point in me thanking you."

"No, there isn't," Hiei replied.

"Because you didn't do what you just did for me," she continued.

"Of course not," he confirmed.

"Or for Spirit World."

"Obviously not!"

"Or for my brother."

"Absolutely not!"

"Or for Yusuke, or Kurama, or even Yukina."

"Hn."

"You did it for you."

Hiei lifted his head, managing to turn it just enough to glare at Shizuru from the corner of one eye. His eyes looked especially bright as his face was still caked with blood, which had dried and darkened, a particularly thick dark line covering the side of his nose and the underside of his eye: there were even small crumbs of dried blood on his eyelashes.

"I was there," Shizuru reminded him. "I heard what you said."

He growled and flashed his teeth at her.

"I heard everything you said, Hiei," she added.

"I don't care what you think," he spat.

"Well you should care what I think," Shizuru said, forcibly suppressing a smirk. "Because Botan certainly does."

"What?"

Hiei turned his head fully towards her. He looked small and pathetic in his current state, but the look in his eyes, the sublime blend of anger and concern, was all Shizuru needed to see.

"That's what I thought," she said, allowing herself to smile.

"Shut-up, Kuwabara!" he snapped at her.

"I may be a Kuwabara," she answered him. "But at least us Kuwabaras don't have a problem telling other people how we really feel."

For a brief moment Hiei's face fell.

"Like I said Hiei," Shizuru said with a sigh. "I know you did it for you, but, as Botan's best friend, I really appreciate it anyway."

She turned around and started to head back the way she had come, all aches and pains gone from her mind, and her weariness replaced with a sense of amusement and vague satisfaction.

"Don't tell her."

Shizuru stopped walking and smiled.

"It's not your place to tell her."

Shizuru shrugged.

"Sure," she agreed. "I won't tell her."

"Hn, not that there's anything to tell," Hiei scoffed.

"Besides, it's more fun watching you try to tell her."

"Hey!"

Shizuru continued walking away, despite the rage she could feel radiating from Hiei behind her. She knew he would not come after her, and not because he was hurt, but because he simply had no comeback.

* * *

**Next Chapter:** Before anyone has the chance to breathe, the Lure takes Botan again, and again everyone comes to her aid – though really only Hiei can reach her. Shizuru continues to film it all, and Hiei's conversations with Botan become more and more revealing: which proves to be a little too much for emotionally stunted Hiei, who quickly reminds everyone that romance is stupid and he would never get involved in anything like that… **Chapter 27: In too Deep**


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